Requiem for a Corporate Beheamoth

Never Forget

I visited McDonalds over the weekend with my kids. Funny thing is, they didn't even particularly want to -- it was me who wanted something fast, easy, cheap and wouldn't cause any sass from the little ones. I had forgotten about some of the sweeping changes this downward trending corporate monolith has been making lately. Over the months was the cringeworthy, employee-abusing "Feel the Love" campaign, then came the sad self-concious series of behind-the-scene videos that tried to convince us that McDonalds actually does serve "real food", and never forget the unsettling "sexy" Hamburglar. 

But now they've gone and done what my daughter would have commanded them to do as of this past summer: breakfast all day. McDonalds resisted this for pretty much as long as the Egg McMuffin existed -- the McDonalds kitchen is a feat of modern efficiency and design, and to allow mass-production of such a uniform product, something like a poached egg and a burger could not be cooked on the same griddle temperature, and fries and hash browns could not be cooked at the same deep fry temp. But as they jam in an ever expanding and complicated menu into the same space, they now also have found a way to combine day parts.

Thing is, my kids didn't care today. They've lost interest in the Egg McMuffin - now that they can have it whenever, it's become a "whatever".  I ordered a "3rd Pounder Steakhouse" burger thing, and I was shocked -- even by McDonalds standards, this was not good. The burger was unnecessarily large, it missed the usual toppings and instead had a flavorless white cheese and mess of greasy cooked onions and mushrooms redolent of MSG. Whose idea of a "Steakhouse" is mushrooms and onions? I guess if you were a poor person who only splurged on the shittiest steaks who need to be smothered in mushrooms and onions to hide it's lack of flavor and toughness....

I was surprised how few kids were here. Lots of tourists who don't know any better, asking for mayonaise with their french fries. This was not the all-encompassing inevitable fast food of my youth, this was sad and strange. The food is trying to be all things to all people at all times but in the current setting, the things and the people have become much more diverse: to try to be all things today to compete with all these new options is to become nothing. The people are not from here, they are from somewhere else and they drink lots of coffee. My kids ate their nuggets, most of their fries, left behind the apple slices and apple juice, content to drink water from my bottle. 

The crappy toy just isn't enough anymore. I think we'll get pizza or hotdogs for lunch next time. And scrambled eggs and bacon at a local diner for breakfast, or as it has always been, at any time of day.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2690

Decent eating week.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2550

SLEPT: 9pm-8am, 11 hrs

AM SNACK: 9am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, fage yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH pt 1: 1:30pm, hotdog, 300 cal

LUNCH pt 2: 3pm, hotdog, diet coke, 300 cal

DINNER: 6pm, pork tenderloin, health salad, chests, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm popcorn, +/- 400 cal

HUNGER SNACK: 7:45pm, kind bar, 200 cal, 9/10
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2960

SLEPT: 10pm-7am, 9hrs

AM SNACK: 7:15 am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, chicken meatballs, mushroom curry, steamed string beans, 640 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, flounder, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 650 cal

HUNGER SNACK: 8pm, nutella, peanut butter & chocolate syrup, pringles, +/- 750 cal, 9/10
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2810

SLEPT: 10pm-6am, 8 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, bacon, poppa salad, 440cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 9pm, pasta, perogies, ice cream, +/- 1450 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 1100 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 2570

SLEPT: 11:30pm-2:15am, 2.75 hours

AM SNACK: 3am, iced green tea

BIKE SNACK 1: 4am, kind bar, 150mg caffeine, 200 cal

BIKE SNACK 2: 6am, homemade granola bar, 300 cal

BREAKFAST: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, Fage yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, beef patty, chicken soup, poppa salad with dressing, 750 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 5:45pm, ethiopian food, babka, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING HUNGER SNACK: 10pm, pringles, whiskey, +/- 500 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT:2560

SLEPT: 11pm-6:30am, 7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

PM SNACK: noon, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, meatball sandwich, small salad, +/-700 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, poppa salad, 200 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, chicken cutlet, mushrooms, mashed potato, hotdog, a little fries, ice cream +/- 1200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, 4 pork dumplings, +/- 200 cal