Diet Soda is fraudulent.

Diet soda is a fraud in many cases. It gives a false sense of virtue: 

If I swap out my sugared soda with this diet soda, then it's OK to eat this double-double cheese burger n' fries! 

You save a few hundred calories, and then you add on a thousand or so because you've given yourself permission to eat something that's not, say, a lean piece of chicken and some steamed string beans. I've known this, but I have never seen it brought to it's logical conclusion until an economist took a rational approach to losing weight. It all comes down to two choices, change or die (i.e. remain fat and unhealthy.) Those are the only two choices, in reality. Of course, the money is to be made in offering a third choice.

(A well respected economist) wanted to think of (smoking) as a battle with two choices — quit or die of cancer — but his nicotine-addled brain kept coming up with a third option: sneak one more cigarette and quit later. Of course, later never came. “I was quitting for 20 years,” he said.

Trying but not succeeding to lose weight is exactly the same thing. Quit all the food that is horrible for you.....after this one cheeseburger. I'll start eating right.... after I read that book, or join that gym, or start that program. Products that offer "magical solutions", or third options, are where the profit is. 

Weight Watchers and gyms make people sign up for recurring billing -- your credit card gets zapped every month whether you attend the meetings or go work out. And while it's possible to resign from these things, many people do not....because they'd have to admit failure. It's so much more comforting to take the 3rd option: "oh, I'll start working out next month" or "I'll hop back on the meetings when I'm less busy in a few weeks". In short, it's a fraud because gyms, weight watchers and diet soda's primary interest is NOT to make you lose weight and lose you as a customer. They are only interested in keeping you paying.

After switching to all diet soda, I feel so much better....that I can eat twice the kebobs and burgers!

I read this article while I was eating lunch on Tuesday: almond butter on whole wheat, some cabbage slaw, a bag of carrots and red peppers...and a 7oz can of diet coke. I've been taking advantage of the small cans the beverage industry has been forced into making due to political moves to limit the size of beverages. I've been able to restrict my consumption to 14oz daily (half caffeinated), down form 24-36 before I really started paying attention. Two 8 packs of the cans is $10 a week or so. 

Until recently, I considered it a relatively harmless indulgence thats a hold-over from my old way of eating. Until a month ago or so, I was hitting up McDonalds once a week. First I was doing quarter pounder meals with fries and a medium coke, then swapped out to double quarter pounders with a small diet cola -- less carbs, less cal, still satisfying. But I stopped, not because I had to struggle to get out from under or boo-hoo McDonalds is soooo evil, but because....I just didn't want it that much, it doesn't make me feel as full or as good as my home cooking.

So as I'm sitting at lunch, I realized I had eaten more than half my meal and had not cracked the diet coke open yet. I just...didn't want it that much. As I'm reading, the author speaks of cheesy "miracle" products, pills that promise the world, things that assure you it'll be "easy" and promoted by TV gurus, and I then read this:

There is another class of products, I noticed, that have a related business model. They were not preying on my impulses to find a third way, but they still made money whether I lost weight or not. All those Slim-Fast shakes, Atkins bars and meal replacements may help some people lose weight, but much of the companies’ revenue comes from people who try and fail continuously or people who only want to create the illusion they are dieting. My desk was filled with books written by experts from the Mayo Clinic and Harvard. They contained useful information, but, for me, they acted like a miracle totem. I felt good about myself for buying them, but I never lost a pound.

Practicing for college life.

Diet Coke makes money for the Coke corporation whether I lost weight or not, as long as I stayed on the treadmill. Diet Coke has been a crutch but it should be a stepping stone, a detox from full sugar soda. Like sugar, we do not need it survive, it is a man made thing. The science is not conclusive - even though there are no calories to make you fat, the reaction to the sweetness may be enough to give you metabolic syndrome. Not to mention cancer and the artificial sweeteners. I do believe diet sodas are relatively better for a person than full-sugar soda, but swapping out diet soda for water is infinitely better than that, too.

I don't want to be limping around in semi-fatass-land for the rest of my life. I hope this is a one way trip to thin fitness, and old habits do not have to be ripped out of my hands with lots of trauma and grief, but I do have to let go. Starting today (I'm writing this on Wednesday), I'm going to attempt to restrict all diet soda consumption to the wild n' woolly weekends, right where my McDonald's consumption lies. No, it's not total elimination, but going from 7 days a week to 2 days a week should be a good start. The $10 I give to the $21 billion diet soda industry every week will be much better spent on vegetables.

POSTSCRIPT:

Friday morning, I made a cake for some one's birthday and a small smidgen of batter got in my mouth. In the evening, after rewarding my daughter with 5 M&Ms (more on that below), I popped a few strays in my mouth rather than going back to the kitchen to put them away. Later in the evening, I was making frosting for the cake and I tasted it for texture and quality. Once the cake was done and everything was cleaned up, I had an overwhelming craving for sugar, my pump undoubtedly primed by the three separate tastes through the day. My first reaction was to go for a diet soda to get the sweetness without the calories...but decided not to as I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite. I broke down and helped myself to a bowl of &Ms around 11pm, then a large dish of homemade ice cream. Oof. I should have just had the damn diet soda. The goal is to eliminate the stuff, but until I am free of such strong cravings and compulsions to eat sweet, I must embrace the crutches and lesser-evil tools available to me. 

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My three and half year old daughter reached a major milestone in her bathroom habits ('nuff said), and we've been bribing her with the promise of gifts for a while now. I foolishly did not have any gifts on hand, so I asked her what she would like moments after her big success. The first thing out of her mouth: M&Ms. I think she had her first and only taste for them around Valentine's Day, when a parent supplied her and friends with pink ones. Though against my better judgement, it was more important to make the moment special and we packed up the baby and trudged around the corner to the drug store to get her a packet of M&Ms. She went for the 2-serving "jumbo" packet, though I only allowed her the slender single serving - if they had those tiny mini Halloween sizes, I probably would have gone for one or two of those.

She was over the moon, and watched a movie while working her way through the whole pack. I asked for one, and she happily gave it, but when she saw I wasn't eating it, she shouted, "EAT IT!" I told her I was saving it for later, because if I didn't eat it now, I could have M&Ms for tomorrow, not just today. So she took it back and ate it.

It took her 30 minutes or so to get through the whole pack, and when she was done, she asked for water. An hour later, around dinner time, she asked for more M&Ms. She literally said, without prompting, that "those were the best M&Ms in the world, and they make me want more and more!" Oy, sugar is such a nasty thing.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2181

Despite blowing out early on Friday night, kept the eating tights and vegetable heavy. Got my first bike ride of the season in on Tuesday, slow and short, but hopefully the beginning of a powerful 7 months...

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MONDAY COUNT: 2135

Had a big eating weekend, but cut into my Sunday with a momma salad to just slow down the gobbling. Today, made 2nd Ave Deli's "health salad", basically shredded cabbage with vinegar, oil and sugar. I reduced the sugar in half, see how that goes. Had some serious sugar cravings after the salsa and chips in the evening, but they went away after 15 minutes or so. I imagine if I ate something tiny but sweet, that would have pushed me over the edge.

AM SNACK: 8:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 11am, Fage whole yogurt with almonds, agave and vanilla, 300 cal

Cut yogurt and agave in half, retained 28g of almonds, where the majority of calories come from, anyway. Still satisfying, as there is a lot of protein n' fat goin' on.

PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, chicken meatballs, quinoa, steamed string beans, 7oz diet coke, 600cal

Adjusted my portions. Doubled string beans, reduced meatballs by 1/3. Kept grain to their small suggested serving (1/4 cup dry, a scant cup cooked) but jazzed it up with a tbsp o' butter.

PM SNACK: 5:45pm, apple/carrot/kale/beet/ginger juice, 150cal

DINNER: 8:45pm, stirfry with shrimp, mushrooms, brocolli, shirataki noodles, poppa salad,  7oz diet sprite, 685cal

Mixed it up a bit: added TWO veg instead of one, boiled & shocked brocolli along with sliced shitake mushrooms. Swapped out soy sauce for fermented black bean paste to go with my sauce of mirin wine, fish sauce and sesame oil -- came out much rounder and less salty. Was looking at other elements to through in (Hoisen, Oyster, Ponzu, etc) and they all seemed to be super loaded with sugar. The bean paste also has some added sugar, but it's relatively far down the list, not the 1st or second ingredient like some of the other sauces.

EVENING SNACK: 9:15pm, salsa and chips, 300cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 600 cal

TUESDAY COUNT: 2290

Did a loop around Manhattan on the road bike in the afternoon/early evening, started slow but picked up steam towards the end, felt good, haven't ridden properly since October. Making me think how I'm going to approach nutrition on the bike this season...

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, brown sugar, vanilla & salt, 250 cal

Rather than half the batch, I took care to measure out the batch into three.

LUNCH: 12:45pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, momma salad, health salad, 7oz diet coke, 710 cal

BIKE SNACK: 5:45pm, beef jerky, cheezits, 370 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, Stouffers French Bread pizzas, poppa salad, 960 cal

When I got home, just did not feel like cooking, so I guess this is the equivalent of fast food at home. Hmmmm. Fast food at home.

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, Fritos, 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 1960

Good eating day. Seems when I stick hardcore to lean protein/veg/legume combo, it's very filling and easier to stay below budget.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, fruit smoothie, 375 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, mahi mahi, channa masala, roasted asparagus, momma salad, water, 585 cal

Did 2 pieces of fish, only ate one - surprised how caloric the mahi is. Will do one piece next time. Hopefully it won't go too funky in the fridge.

PM SNACK: 4pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger juice, 130 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, mahi mahi, sofrito black beans, steamed string beans, poppa salad with miso tahini dressing, kimchi, 570 cal

I usually don't eat the same protein 2x in a row, but since I started with a new fish, I made too much and B wasn't going to eat it, so I thought it was economical to just eat it now. Miso dressing was good, but needs a kick, perhaps lemon and garlic in the next batch. Still, half the calories of my Italian dressing, so that ain't bad. Got a jar of Mother's kimchi, full strength with anchovies & beef broth in it, really good n' strong and very low cal. This was a surprisingly large amount of food -- 75 cal of steamed string beans near half a dinner plate, and while I intended to serve myself 250g of beans (200 cal), as I'm dishing it out I saw it was going to be too much so I stopped at 200g. Crazy, I was aiming for 800 cal and came in more than 25% under while eating a tasty, big-ass meal. Did miss the diet sprite, think I may have to bust out the carbonator to get in some bubbles.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, fritos, 300 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2005

Felt a bit down in the dumps this morning, so after frittering away a little time, decided to wallow after lifting. Upped the "dosage" to the next increment of weight and number of push ups, sit ups and pull up hangs and lowers. Indeed felt better after.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, brown sugar, vanilla & salt, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 12:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, grilled chicken, black beans, broccoli, 640 cal

Again, made 2x two much chicken. When I did the count before eating, it was over 900. Looks like chicken fo' dinnah!

PM SNACK: 4pm, beef jerky, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, poppa salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, grilled chicken, lentils, health salad pickle,  525 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, fritos & a piece of brown rice avocado sushi, +/-330 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2515

No time to get home to juice before dinner, which might of helped with the sugar cravings that knocked me off the wagon around 11pm with M&Ms and ice cream. I rationalized it by counting it towards my Saturday free-day, though I suspect juicing and a splurge on a diet soda might have rerouted it.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10am, whole Fage with agave, vanilla and almonds, 310 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, chicken sausage, sauteed spinach, black beans, pickle, water, 630 cal

Tried to grill some leeks and failed, wrong temp, wrong cut, not enough lubricant. 

PM SNACK: 6pm, poppa salad with miso tahini dressing, 100 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, mahi mahi, brussel sprouts & mushrooms, whole wheat cous cous, butternut squash soup, poppa salad, water,875 cal

Sabbath dinner with the whole family, sitting down n' talking. Diet Sprite really calling to me when I was ready to sit down, urg. Should of probably skipped the cous cous, as I felt really full after eating everything.

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, cheesy poofs, 300

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, Fritos, 300

Trying to squash the sugar ravings rising up in me...

Don't be a (diet) cokehead.

I recently checked out another documentary that proselytizes ideas on healthy diet via Netflix, Hungry for Change. Some of it was standard (eat more fruit and veg), some was easily dismissed as hooey (the detox theory), some was just strange (cilantro can flush the body of mercury?!). The one thing that caught my ear, however, was a short rant about diet sodas....

If I was in the food industry, what am I looking to do? I'm looking to sell you more food, that's what I want to do. How can I do that? I can manipulate the chemical structure oft here food so now it becomes fulfilling, but empty. But gives the impression when they very first ingest it, that it is the most fulfilling thing they ever had. Nothing else does it in your brain quite like a diet cola. That's because there is a deadly combination there of aspartame and caffeine and those two together create a very unique blend of "excitotoxin" that kills off brain cells, but before they die, they have this -oof- excitement like a buzz. So what you find with diet cola addicts is that they'll drink a liter, sometimes 2 liters a day and particularly women, do it as a way to keep their weight down. They don't eat, they just have the next buzz of diet colas.

The talking heads go on about formydahol formation in the brain, migraines, and cancers from aspartame, and dismiss the safety assurances of the FDA as being manipulated by industry -- all the studies used by the FDA in determining the safety of the substance was industry-funded, while independently funded studies showed great dangers and side effects over time. On top of that, the substance is shown to cause carbohydrate cravings. Studies show, according to the talking heads, those who drink diet sodas over time tend to be fatter in a few years.

This is news to me. I never heard the term "excitotoxin" before, but it's a real thing. Most of the scientific sources I tried to read are dense and don't seem to finger aspartame, and if they do speak of food the focus is on glutimates (hello, MSG!). Unsurprisingly, the aspartame industry dismisses excitotoxicity in its product as myth, but Snopes backs them up and a Wikipedia page about aspartame's controversy is rife with conspiracy theory and false science.

He didn't actually drink the pint, he is savoring it in his jowels. 

In my extensive study as a cohort of one, I definitely went through a mess of years where I downed liters and liters of diet coke per day. I may be stupider than I was then, but I'm certainly not riddled with migraines (never had one) or cancers (as of last check up). My dad was a hardcore diet coke addict since it was introduced to replace Tab in the early '80s, and when he died in the mid 2000s he too was cancer-free and migraine-free. I suspect the Hungry For Change movie features "experts" who may be digging into the nutritional field with a lot of new ideas and unexplored angles, but the science just ain't there yet. Yes, I'm going to add some parsley and cilantro to my juicing because it is very green and will add an interesting kick to the flavor of my juice, but not because I think it'll really flush mercury from my system.

Other than the obvious potential of caffiene, it's safe to say that diet cola is not addictive....as a substance. But as a behavior, it fits all too well into the modern conception of what an addiction can be. It gives the brain a reward, but....

In a 2008 study, for instance, women who drank water that was alternately sweetened with sugar and Splenda couldn't tell the difference -- but their brains could. Functional MRI (fMRI) brain scans revealed that even though both drinks lit up the brain's reward system, the sugar did so more completely.

"Your senses tell you there's something sweet that you're tasting, but your brain tells you, 'Actually, it's not as much of a reward as I expected,'" says Martin P. Paulus, MD, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California San Diego, and one of the authors of the study. "The consequence might be that the brain says, 'Well, I'll have more of this.'"

It's of no surprise to me that something like a diet soda or a sweet "sugar-free" candy just doesn't quite do the trick, but it does blunt the cravings. I think I may need to develop a "maintenance" program that will allow me to come down off of sugar once and for all. Plenty of sugar/heroine addicts replace their habits with sugar substitutes/methadone. It's still an addiction, but it's a bit less taxing on the system and more socially acceptable.

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Still a little surprised by the six-pound weight gain last month. I look in the mirror and I don't see a gain, I see a body that's on the way to becoming non-fatty. I've also steeled my resolve to kick the daily sugar fix in the evenings. It's the main source of calories last month that helped me stay high above my budget. Going to up my juicing from 2x a week to maybe 3/4x. Contemplating weighing myself once a week instead of once a month -- maybe that would have headed off a six pound 1 month gain?

Three days without sweets this past week, and Friday night was the worst. Had a hard time focusing, managed to squeak by within calorie budget. Realized I wasn't actually hungry, just having cravings. I think I'm going to approach sugar as I approach alcohol. Almost never consume it at home unless there are guests, and I'll consume it out when I'm with friends and the occasion calls for something special. Hmmmm, I have a wedding to go to Saturday, can I keep that as my only sweets for the whole weekend? Whoever says sugar ain't addicting be crazy.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2355

Nice to see an average close to budget. Too bad it had to be prompted by such a large monthly weight gain. Definitely upped my vegetable consumption and took a stab at reducing sugar. Hopefully it'll get easier.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2680

Felt oddly weak in the mornings weightlifting. Funny enough, my sore left shoulder did not stop me from doing much, but a strained forearm muscle in my right arm stop me from doing some concentration curls.

AM SNACK: 8:45am, iced green tea, 45 cal

BREAKFAST: 11:15am, steel cut oatmeal, 375 cal

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, teriyaki chicken meatballs, curry whole wheat cous cous, roasted asparagus, pickle, 7oz diet coke, 760 cal

Cooked up double the cous cous, but on the plate it looked like too much, and by the time I finished everything, had about half the cous cous left over. Huh.

DINNER: 6:30pm, sausage & peppers hero, house salad, ice cream bar, +/-900 cal

Popped out to the corner slice place for a quiet last meal of 2012. Salad came with 2oz of dressing, used only about 1/4 of that, left behind the bread that came with it. Sandwich was OK, something I never really eat, but nice to change up from the fried breadiness of eggplant.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, chocolate chips & peanuts, +/- 500 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2245

New Year's Day. Weighed in, surprised to have gained 6 pounds. Happy New Year, bleah. Did avoid an evening snack through force of will...

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, fruit smoothie, 375 cal

PM SNACK: noon, momma salad, 80 cal

Just carrots and cuce, as Edie snatched all the red pepper.

LUNCH: 3:30pm, chicken sausage, cous cous, string beans, 590 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, cheese tortellini, broccoli, chocolate chip cookies & ice cream, 1 glass wine, +/- 1200 cal

Out at a friend's house for a nice family dinner.

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2350

Got hungry a lot during the day, but never too far from a snack or meal. For some reason I was hoping an 8pm burger would have been enough for the day, but got super hungry in the evening. Avoided chocolate for the 1st day in quite a while with a satisfying (but with in budget) bowl of popcorn popped in butter.

AM SNACK: 8:15am, iced green tea, 50 cal

BREAKFAST: 11am, Greek yogurt with agave, almonds and vanilla, 430 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, ham on whole wheat with mustard, roasted broccoli, 7oz diet coke, 435 cal

Not particularly hungry, but schedule would have forced me to eat out if I delayed.

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, apple/carrot/kale/cucumber/beet/ginger juice, 145 cal

Found myself home and too hungry, this was an easy quick snack before heading out again. Cucumber was a nice taste to crowd out the kale and beet...

DINNER: 8pm, double quarter pounder, 12oz diet coke, 750 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:45pm, popcorn, 7oz diet sprite, 440 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2145

A rare day that I've come in under budget for real, without any side-bites or nuthin'. Second day of no chocolate. Feel like I'm on a carousel of hunger -- constantly hungry, but when the hunger starts to bother me, I eat something. Worked out in the morning, trip to Costco in the afternoon.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 50 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 375 cal

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, jerk chicken patty, vegetable patty, 740 cal

PM SNACK: 6:30pm, apple/carrot/kale/cucumber/beet/ginger juice, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, shrimp, roasted brussel sprouts, madras lentils and brown rice mix, 7oz diet coke, 610 cal

Got some packets of microwaveable lentils at Costco. Not bad, not good, but healthy way to make the grains I regularly cook a little more interesting. Gonna try to make it for real.

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, beef jerky, 120 cal

Really need a new snack that satisfies, but isn't just high-calorie sugar n' fat like chocolate & peanuts. Bought a bag of generic jerky at Costco. Despite the brown sugar rub used in it's manufacture, it's actually reasonably real compared to other mass-manufactured jerkys on the market. All the ingredients are recognizable!

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2355

Woke up a bit sore from yesterday's work out. Monday I was a bit draggy and weak, so I hit it a little harder yesterday. Both shoulder and forearm are A-OK.  Made butternut squash soup (surprisingly low cal, though it shouldn't be a surprise...) and Spanish-braised lentils out of the "How to Cook Everything Vegetarian" cookbook. Easy to make, but fneh tasting -- the notes in the book indicate that red lentils are more tender and are used in Indian cooking, while the standard green lentils are what I used. Now determined how to make proper dal, and use it as a proteiny condiment for my regular grain consumption during the week. 

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 50 cal

BREAKFAST: 10am, heritage Os with whole milk, banana, 385 cal

PM SNACK: noon, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, 1 Stouffer's French bread pizza, madras lentils, roasted brocolli, pickle, 7oz diet coke, 670 cal

Two pizzas outta the box are 860 cal. Swapped one out for some healthy leftovers that probably would have gotten trashed anyway.

DINNER: 6:30pm, grilled chicken breast, Spanish lentils, butternut squash soup, 14oz diet sprite, 620 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:15pm, cheeseits and almond butter, 410 cal

Sugar choco cravings like mad.

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, beef jerky, 120 cal

Uggg. So hungry. Actually, NOT hungry. Just want sugar.

Coke Fiend

Ground flaxseed, home-brewed iced green tea, Greek yogurt, diet sodas, fresh fruit....

I've been ramping up the diet soda since dedicating myself to count calories.  This has me thinking of times past, darker times. I grew up with diet coke, as my dad was a bit of a fiend. In high school, I switched from whole milk and apple juice to diet coke and lost a bunch of pounds without thinking. Yes, my frenemies, my dad primed the pump for me to grow up to be a COKE FIEND! Well, DIET COKE FIEND.

By the time I finished college and moved back to New York City and got my first apartment, I was fueled by diet coke. I'm not sure how it got to be so extreme, it just slowly grew over the years. This is how it would roll:

1. Wake up, drink a 12oz can with whatever.
2. Get to work with a 16oz bottle.
3. Maybe have a 2nd 16oz bottle before lunch.
4. Have a can with lunch.
5. Sip on a liter through the afternoon.
6. A can or two with dinner.

That was a typical day, upwards of a gallon of the stuff. Hey, it's diet, right? The fact that my throat was always feeling a little raw from the acid didn't really strike me as a problem. I wasn't an addict, I just loved the stuff. Or that's what I thought, until Trouble came to visit and stay awhile.

At the time, I was the manager of an indie music label, and occasionally I'd have musicians crash with me if they were in town and not raking in the big bucks. One guy in particular (I'll call him Mr. Trouble) was a solo act from Canadialand and had no qualms about helping himself to the contents of my fridge without regard to replacing anything. So after a few days of Mr. Trouble, my day went like this:

1. Wake up, drink a 12oz ca....what the what?!

I rolled out of bed half asleep, reached in the fridge for my can, and found only air. PANIC. Eyes shot open, heart started racing, and I looked around for my diet coke. Mr. Trouble was snoozing on the couch. My diet coke in his belly. I had always been relatively straight-edge of all potentially addicting substances outside of alcohol, and after a few minutes and regaining my bearings, I realized: diet coke addiction is real, and living in me.

I cold-turkeyed it from that moment on. The first day was a blur of tiredness, headaches, grouchiness and sleeplessness that night. The second day was like the first, only worse. The third day was bad, but it was over the hump and I crashed and slept great that third night. I didn't touch diet coke or anything caffeinated for years after that, slowly working it back into my life in much more reasonable doses.

Since going to culinary school, I gave up diet coke even casually and just drank regular sugary stuff, in smaller quantities. Upon review, even a "small" 12-oz can of the sugared stuff is 130 calories, which adds up quick. There is a theory that diet sodas actually prevent weight loss, but science has pretty much debunked it. Diet soda in itself may not cause weight gain, but behavior around it could (italics mine):

Researchers found that those who drank diet soda were more likely to have metabolic syndrome, a nasty cluster of diseases including diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. The study didn’t define a definite reason for this-and can’t say for sure that one causes the other-but tried to control for other factors, like preexisting health problems, says Dr. Ramachandran Vasan, study author and professor of medicine at Boston University School of Medicine. It’s possible that people may use diet soda as an excuse to eat poorly (the old “two Big Macs and a Diet Coke” approach) or that there may be some sort of biological pathway in diet soda that causes these problems.

That's EXACTLY what I was doing back then to stay fat, ye olde Duo Big Maccas et un Dieta Coka. Now that my duo of Big Macs are tiny lil' cheeseburgers, maybe something will change.

THE COUNT: 2,500
Weights in the morning, felt hungry by bedtime. In the evening, I just cut a huge piece and let the calories fall where they may. Only by coincidence did it hit my budget on the nose. Well, it was actually 238.74 cal, but I round up and down. Because I'm not crazy.

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea, 25 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, steel cut oatmeal with brown sugar, butter & cinnamon, banana, water, 465 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, Big Mac, fries, diet coke, 920 cal
In honor of today's topic, I had a Big Mac and a diet coke. Believe it or not, this was the first time I've ever eaten a Big Mac. When I was a kid, I'd go to McDonald's with my brother and father - they would always get big Macs, but I wanted to be different. So I would always get a quarter pounder. And that's what I've done ever since, until today. It was only 30 cal more, and quite a disappointment. It was just a tiny double burger with the second layer and too much bread. And that special sauce is not a very special, tasting like ketchup and Thousand Island dressing.

DINNER: 6pm, broiled soil, boiled corn, brown rice, steamed string beans, 7oz diet sprite, 850 cal
Funny how quantity-wise, this was practically twice the amount of food over lunch, but less calories.

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, watermelon, 240 cal