The End of Fat Before It Was Cool

216.4-->212.4-->209.8

After 2 years of slow weight gain after 2 years of slightly quicker weight loss, I seem to be back on the loss cycle. During a family Passover seder, a lovely (and loving) aunt who I see only about once or twice a year pulled me aside and asked me, "What happened to your diet? You seemed to be doing so well." I imagine if I was female or younger or less secure in my self, this would be a dagger in my heart, but I took it as sincere concern from an older generation who have different assumptions about weight loss and fat people. The conflict between our world views is pretty damn well summarized in this recent NY Times article.

“The key point is that you can be on TV, you can lose enormous amounts of weight, you can go on for six years, but you can’t get away from a basic biological reality,” said Dr. Schwartz, who was not involved in the study. “As long as you are below your initial weight, your body is going to try to get you back.”
The show’s doctor, Robert Huizenga, says he expected the contestants’ metabolic rates to fall just after the show, but was hoping for a smaller drop. He questioned, though, whether the measurements six years later were accurate. But maintaining weight loss is difficult, he said, which is why he tells contestants that they should exercise at least nine hours a week and monitor their diets to keep the weight off.
“Unfortunately, many contestants are unable to find or afford adequate ongoing support with exercise doctors, psychologists, sleep specialists, and trainers — and that’s something we all need to work hard to change,” he said in an email.

When I got to the bottom of the weight curve at the end of 2013, I started getting ravenous, and I thought of a truism taught to me by my parents and my aunt's generation: when you are hungry, eat. On the face of it, this is "common sense" but beware of any one or any politician trying to sell you something on the basis of "common sense" -- they are appealing to your baser ignorance instead of your higher urge to learn more about what is really happening.

I was hungrier than usual, so I said eh, my body is telling me to eat, and we first and foremost must listen to our bodies. Eating disorders are seen as emotional and psychological problems that interfere with our abilities to feed ourselves in response to bodily signals. Well, my bodily signals have been literally, scientifically-proven and unilaterally hijacking my hormones to alter my behavior to regain as much weight as possible. It's not for a lack of willpower, or mindfulness, or moral upstanding, it's what we're genetically programmed to do based on cave-man times.

To put it succinctly, it's not my fault, but it is my responsibility. The usefulness of this blog has come to an end. Look at the list of topics to the right, I think I've said all I need on each one - the purpose was to educate and entertain myself with the act of writing, and it served that purpose well. It also served to keep myself accountable for my eating by posting my food diaries in public, and my need for that has lessened -- I have my shit together, I don't need the fear of having to say "I ate 2 boxes of twinkles last night before crying myself to sleep" in public to keep me eating healthy.  I still have more to learn and clarify, but I think I'm going to do that in a less straight forward, more personal and emotional form in a writing project TBD. Maybe another blog, maybe not. Any suggestions?
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This is not my first rodeo. Though this blog started at the beginning of '12 and ran through the first third of '16, there was:

• Snicklesnack (2012)
• Learning to Feed (2007-2012)
• Culinary School Confidential (2008-2010)
• Knishery NYC (2011-2013)

and the only non-food blog and perhaps most popular, the blog of my cross country bikeride:

• Betsy, I'll Be Home for Thanksgiving (2007)

The most popular post from this blog: from 2012, with 611 views and twice the amount of the next-best viewed, an opening salvo on the Demon Sugar.

Before deciding to end this blog, my next entry was going to riff on this article, but after reading through all the material it linked to, my emotional response was: I can't. I just can't. So many lies and half-truths, so much "common sense" that is nonsense in practice. May the burning of this blog light my way.

Thanks for reading out there. Despite your silence, the page views speaks of a common human empathy that makes it worthwhile. Love on ya.

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WEEK 1/4

MONDAY COUNT: 2650
SLEPT: 9pm - 6am, 9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, beef patty, tomato soup, momma salad, 540 cal

DINNER: 6:15pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, kind bar, peanut butter crackers, +/- 850 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2160

SLEPT: 9:30pm-6am,  8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 4:15pm, chicken sausage, poppa salad, 420 cal 

DINNER: 6pm, Vegetarian dim sum, +/- 700  cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, homemade brownie, +/- 200 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 725 cal
WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3065

SLEPT: 10:30pm-6am,  7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2pm, homemade granola bar, 300 cal

LUNCH: 4:15pm, chicken meatballs, steamed stringbeans, lentil curry,  680 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, momma salad, 100  cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws, 330 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, poppa salad with basalmic, 1070 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, bowl of c-chips cashews and pretzels, homemade brownie, +/- 700 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2340

SLEPT: 10:30pm-2am, 4:30am-6:45am,  5.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 11:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:45pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, Ethiopian food, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, half a pint of ice cream, +/- 500 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 1000 cal
FRIDAY COUNT: 2340

SLEPT: 10:15pm-6:30am,  8.25 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 11am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

BREAKFAST 2: noon, steel cut oatmeal,  450 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2:45pm, granola bar, 320 cal

BIKE SNACK: 3:30pm, granola bar, 320 cal

BIKE SNACK: 4:30pm, potato chips, 440 cal

DINNER pt 1: 6:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, 150 cal

DINNER pt 2: 7:15pm, brick of Chinese, +/- 1200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, homemade brownie, +/- 300 cal

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WEEK 2/4

MONDAY COUNT: 2690
SLEPT: 9:30pm - 4am, 6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, 580 cal

DINNER: 6pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, kind bar, peanut butter crackers, +/- 850 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2410

SLEPT: 9:15pm-6am,  8.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:45pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 3:45pm, chicken meatballs, steamed stringbeans, mushroom curry,  620 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, Stouffer's French Bread pizzas, poppa salad, 1080  cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2,445 cal

SLEPT: 9:15pm-5:30am,  8.25 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, poppa salad with dressing, bacon, 440 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, momma salad, veggie straws,  230  cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, diet coke, 925 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, peanut butter crackers, 240 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 760 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 2010

SLEPT: 10pm-5am,  7 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea, 150 mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 6:45am, homemade granola bar, 270 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 11:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, petite steak and mash, pork croquette, bread, diet coke, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6:15pm, shrimp & scallop stirfry, samosas and chickpeas over steamed string beans, half a pint of ice cream +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:15pm, peanut butter crackers, 240 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2490

SLEPT: 10:30pm-4am,  5.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:30am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, bagel with creamcheese and lox, +/- 700 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, poppa salad, cheezits, 410 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, fish and chips, hotdog, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

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WEEK 3/4

MONDAY COUNT: 2740
SLEPT: 9:30pm - 5am, 7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:15pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, ice cream, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 6pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, peanut butter crackers, +/- 600cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2290

SLEPT: 9:15pm-5am,  7.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 3:30pm, poppa salad with dressing, and bacon,  440 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 240 cal

DINNER: 5:45pm, vegetarian dim sum, small cup of ice cream, +/-1000  cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 680 cal
WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2640

SLEPT: 9pm-5:45am,  8.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

AM SNACK: 8:15am, school sausage patty, +/- 100 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 10:30am, homemade granola bar, 365 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30pm, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 4pm, chicken meat balls, string beans and lentil curry, 770 cal

DINNER: 8pm, burrito, poppa salad with dressing, 1125 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, small amount of chocolate chips, peanut butter crackers, +/- 250 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2980

SLEPT: 10:30pm-5:30am,  7 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 12:15pm, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 2:15pm, fried mixed perogees with side of kraut, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with dressing, cheezis, 440 cal

DINNER: 6pm, roast chicken, zuchini, big salad, +/- 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, streetzi, ice cream bar, +/- 500 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2360

SLEPT: 11pm-6:30am,  7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

LUNCH: 1pm, Ikea meatballs and mashed, chocolate cake, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, free samples of weird swiss chocolate thingies, +/- 400 cal

PASSOVER DINNER: 6:30pm, gefilte, meatballs, matzo ball soup, matzo with chicken liver, chicken breast and stuffing, potato kugel, a couple of macaroons, seltzer, shot of slivovitz, +/- 1000 cal

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WEEK 4/4

MONDAY COUNT:2640
SLEPT: 10pm - 6:30am, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12pm, fage yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, 580 cal

DINNER: 6pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, banana bread, peanut butter crackers, +/- 800cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2050

SLEPT: 9:30pm-6:30am,  9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 11:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 3pm, steel cut oatmeal,  450 cal

LUNCH: 4:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws,  340 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6pm, vegetarian dim sum, small cup of ice cream, +/-1000  cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2575

SLEPT: 8:30pm-6:30am,  10 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1pm, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 5pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws, 440 cal

DINNER: 8pm, burrito, diet coke, 925 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, small amount of chocolate chips, pretzels and cashews, +/- 500 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 750 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 1790

SLEPT: 10pm-3am,  5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea, 150 mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 6:45am, homemade granola bar, 260 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 5pm, poppa salad with dressing, peanut butter crackers, 390 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, korean pork & rice, summer rolls, +/- 1500 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2750 cal

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:30am,  8 hrs

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

LUNCH: 11:45am, korean beef burrito, small cup of ice cream, +/- 1100 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, momma salad, peanut butter crackers, 290 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, fish & chips, hotdog, ice cream, +/- 1200 cal

How did I do it?

Fiddy Cent to star in the feature length Tyrone Bigguns movie!!

"How did you lose the weight?" I've heard this question a few times in the past few months. That is the wrong question. Within that question lies the path to gaining it all back and then some. The reason the weight-loss industry earns billions of dollars year after year after year is not because the people who buy into it lose weight, even though they do. They earn billions, rather than mere millions,  because the the customers/victims of the weight loss industry are put on a perpetual cycle of losing and gaining weight.

We need a new word, because "diet" ain't cutting it. On one hand, a diet is simply your way of eating. On the other hand, the word "diet" has come to mean a temporary proscribed way of eating and living to achieve a weight loss goal. When you're on the "diet", you lose weight. When you go back to your original diet after you meet your goal, you eventually balloon back to where you were, but probably heavier due to the tole of the whole process. This is insane. All "diets" are insane by design. Any "diet" that is not intended to be used as a model for eating and living until the day you die is a false diet, and hence gets the quotations.

"How did you lose the weight?" is wrong. "How are you losing weight/maintaining your weight loss?" is what we should be asking. I blame capitalism and the consumer culture of instant gratification.

I find most cooking shows, particularly competitions, dull and shrill, especially when they assume their audiences can't cook and have unsophisticated, childlike tastes. Still, it caught my ear when this bona-fide competition-winning media chef announced a new show, "Cook Your Ass Off". He himself lost around 50 lbs, and is now going to act within the framework of the same media that wants nothing more than you to endlessly consume and feed your desires....to be skinny?

Close buddies to the weight loss industry is the fitness industry. A while ago I wrote about the book "the 4 Hour Body" in which this guy wrote about you can get totally ripped by working out just 4 hours a week. In reality it was a book about starving yourself 6 days a week, then gorging yourself one day a week -- you didn't even really need to work out those 4 hours. Does it work? Probably. Can you do that for the rest of your life? I guess so, if you hate yourself and you hate all the people who you can potentially bond with over food. Y'know, like your family.

Over the past year, once I started showing a weight loss, I've been asked on occasion how I did it, and I'm usually finding myself at a loss for an answer. My fall-back answer is "read the blog".  A friend's husband keeps a weekly blog about an American President who died well over a hundred years ago -- what his bones are doing week to week nowadays I dunno, but several of his readers and friends have encouraged him to turn his writings into a book. Suffice to say, no one has suggested I turn this blog into a book, though Gawd knows there is a hell of a lot more money in "diet" books than a tome about a long dead, non-big-5 head of state.

Why can't I develop a million-selling diet "blook" from my weight loss success? Because I don't have an easy, pithy slogan that can answer a complex question. (Well, not honestly, anyway.) No one wants to hear that it's going to be slow, it's going to be hard and it's going to be forever. I make a reasonable living in a non-food-related industry, and have no urgent need to compel anyone to spend one more damn penny on anything that perpetuates the cycle of "diets". If you want to spend money to lose weight, this is my hard-earned advice:

1. Spend more money on good homecooked food by spending less in restaurants.
2. Spend a little on basic work out equipment like a set of weights and a weight bench, or a bicycle, and don't even bother with a gym. Use your weights and bike regularly.
3. If your not happy with how you eat, don't look to the weight loss industry. Eat more vegetables, whole fruit and less sugar and grains.
4. Finding you can't eat right, even though you know what right is? Go see a shrink who deals with eating issues. If you don't have insurance, go to an Over Eaters Anonymous meeting, as at it's core it's just free group therapy which you pay for by wading through some people who don't understand that religion and God-worshipping doesn't always go hand in hand with spirituality. 

It ain't easy, it can't be made into a zippy catchphrase, and to be honest, it's a plan cut to my size and specifications; you need to explore and figure out your own roadmap. Yes, you can figure out your own roadmap by trying others on for size, but don't be a zealot and don't be a dupe -- take what works, leave the rest behind.

Route 64's Food Roadmap....to Constipation Alley!

Two articles struck me this past week, as my head has been churning with the thoughts that came from discovering I gained a pound last month. They both suggested that people, taken as a whole, are stupid and insane. One was a bit about research that indicates the majority of American seek out food in grocery stores labelled "All Natural", despite the fact that the label is absolutely meaningless and not regulated. Arsenic and lead are all natural, as is high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oil and all the salt in the Dead Sea.

The other article was from a restaurant industry journal, which delivered the latest report in dining trends. There is a disturbing trend that people who are going to eat out less next year because....they want to eat healthier. This is the first time health became more of a concern than money.

Does this mean people actually value their health more than just having food as cheap as possible? Will restaurants have to put more of an effort (and more budget into) buying better ingredients, cooked better and less processed? Let's not go crazy, as I suspect the restaurant industry is targeting a demographic whose idea of "healthier" is extra french fries, because potato is a vegetable. More likely, people will be "healthier" by eating out less and then consuming more frozen, microwaveable prepared meals from the freezer section. Give me convenience or give me death. Oh heck, just gimme both.

I guess I'm pessimistic because as the survey suggests, a key to being healthier is eating in restaurants less, but it is reports like this that help the industry sharpen it's tallons to redirect people's desire to be healthy....right back into restaurants. After all, any and all McDonalds food is "part of a well-balanced diet." What, exactly, is a well-balanced diet? Well, it's all-natural, of course. And according to McDonalds itself, probably excludes french fries and sugared soda.

Balancing act.

The implications of last month's gained pound is rattling around in my head -- next week I'm visiting the nutritionist I consulted before starting this blog for a check in to gauge her opinion.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2438

From the average, clearly I busted my budget, but looking at the reasons why, I'm happy to say there wasn't a binge.

• Monday: Sick family members necessitated quick, convenient food. Not common.
• Tuesday: An portion controlled extra evening snack to meet a real physical hunger.
• Friday: Home cooked meal, had a special guest over, ice cream and chocolate syrup was a nice way to end the week with friends and family around me, and c'mon, it was only 130 cal over budget.

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MONDAY COUNT:2785 

SLEPT: 9:30pm-4am, 6.5hr
Got a good lift in in the morning. Did an extended commute to work, oy, too cold. Holy crap, I ran out of matzoh ball soup! How did that happen? Must make soup this week.... A lot going on, must focus...came home to a sick house, just didn't have the time or focus to cook, so I baked off some frozen pizzas and added the asparagus as an afterthought, realizing the hot oven and time worked just as well for it. Right before bed, realized I hadn't stopped moving since I left work, and treated myself to some corn chips. Didn't need them, busted the budget, but it was NOT a binge and it felt right.

AM SNACK: 4:15 am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken sausage, madras lentils, steamed string beans, 660 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, French bread pizzas, roasted asparagus, 950 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2555

SLEPT: 9pm-4am, 7 hours
The main task of the morning was making Butternut Squash soup, with homemade chicken stock. Surprised to find the calorie count is almost twice the matzoh ball soup. I didn't use any dairy or cream, and carefully measured the coconut oil I used to soften the onion, but unlike the previous soup, the main component is the vegetable (.47c/g), rather than just stock (something like .1 c/g) Oh well, it's still a) full o' vegetable and b) relatively low calorie.

Tired in the evening, busted out the extra cheetos after having fritos with dinner in hope of spendng less time eating to get to sleep earlier. Didn't work that way, just too much goin' on. Funny, had to check myself, was honestly hungry when I ate the extra cheetos, it was not a binge....though the thought of wolfing down a bowl of peanut M&Ms did flash through my mind.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, falafel, butternut squash soup, health salad, 770 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, hake loin, roasted brussel sprouts, fritos, 715

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 585
WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2000 

SLEPT: 9pm-3am, 6hr
Not as much sleep as I would have liked, but there are only so many early-morning ride days with temps in the mid 40s before winter shuts the gate. Breakfast was delayed due to sitting in a DOH office waiting to get a permit for an event next week (can't really write about it yet, I signed a contract that makes me mum without explicit permission.)

AM SNACK: 3:15 am, granola bar, iced green tea, 575 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken meatballs, sofrito black beans, roasted brussel sprouts, 510 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 6:30pm, cheetos, 300 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, stirfry with shirataki noodles, shrimp, shitaki mushrooms, oyster sauce, 325 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2320

SLEPT: 9:15pm-3:45am, 6.5 hours
Woke up 15 min early on my own, but looking forward to hitting the weights and getting chores done. That does sound a little nutty, doesn't it? Went out to a midtown businessman pub with a friend I don't see nearly often enough for dinner, indulged a bit with her -- we used to go buck-wild eating together years ago, so I didn't feel bad about greatly enjoying the meal. I ate relatively reasonable the rest of the day, and had to cycle to and from Costco with 120 lbs of shopping, so the sugar came in handy.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, sauteed chicken breast, quinoa, roasted brussels, 550 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 6pm, French onion soup, moules frites, brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce, +/- 1000 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2630

SLEPT: 10pm-3am, 5 hours
Not enough sleep, but could not be helped. Had to get up to do chores and chop 40 lbs of onions -- if I fall behind on knish production at this point, it'll domino down the schedule.

AM SNACK: 3:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, fruit smoothie, 410 cal

LUNCH: 1:15 pm, almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, health salad, 610 cal

PM SNACK: 1:45pm, shrimp summer roll, +/- 150 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, babaganoush, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 6pm, scallops, butternutsquash soup, knishm broccoli, ice cream and chocolate syrup, +/- 1000 cal
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WEEKEND REPORT
Saturday was a gut-buster, starting with breakfast at McDonalds, going through cookies, pizza, a hot dog and more, though I didn't have much dinner, just wasn't hungry oddly enough. Woke up at 3 on Sunday after 7 hours of sleep, got in a caffienated 45 mile ride that did my head good. Spent the day making a kick-ass cake for my son, whose birthday we celebrated in the afternoon. Eating wasn't great, but it didn't feel compulsive -- between ride, prep and party, I was just too busy to really slam too much food down. Perhaps this suggests a way forward? Maybe I should look into a scheduled, structured repeating activity for me and one or two of my kids to participate in and keep my face out of the feed trough?