Drill Down: Poppa Salad (I blame Hitler for being fat)

Hitler made me fat. There is a direct line from Hitler decimating the Jews to me overeating. I guess all the food corporations pushing hyper processed comfort food, the government subsidising commodity grains to make fresh fruit and vegetables seem expensive by comparison, and a culture of excessive consumption are off the hook. Thanks, Obama Hitler!

There is history behind why I call my chopped, dressed salad "poppa salad" and baby carrots and hunks of pepper and cucumber "momma salad", which I touched on before. I've been in a searching, reflective mood the past month or so, so I'm gonna delve a little bit deeper and drill down in to what I call the "poppa salad".

My father was born in Vienna, Austria in 1934 -- history has shown that this was not the ideal time to be born a Jew in those parts. His earliest memories were quite pleasant -- he had a nanny who took care of him during the day, his mom kept house for his father and two other brothers, and his father ran a music business. At this time, music retail was changing: sheet music and big radios were becoming old-fashioned and Victrolas and 78s were the new hotness for the burgeoning middle class. Despite the world-wide depression, my dad's family did fine for itself.

One memory he came back to were the bakeries, the sweets of Vienna -- its not for nothing that "Viennese table" is term for a formal buffet overflowing with pastries and sweets. At every corner was another shop selling tarts and cakes and cookies and truffles and all sorts of things we'd probably find a little odd today. Being a sugar-crazed little kid wasn't just his quirk -- it was a major civic pass-time.

When the late 30s saw the National Socialist movement emerge, Hitler rose to power.  The Jews (and gays and gypsies and the mentally ill and more) first experienced the sting of what to come, and my father was there. My dad remember walking by the Danube river with his nanny, and asking her, "Why do the benches say 'No Jews'?" He was 4 at the time, the same age as my daughter.

The picture above is my my father lower left, my grandfather upper right and my grandmother and younger uncle lower right. My grandfather sold everything for paperwork and passage on a ship from Vienna to Cuba in 1939, and they left with the clothing on their back and a few pieces of silver, which remain heirlooms amongst my extended family today. (I'm lucky to have their family passport, which hangs in my living room today.)

Ellis Island stole the last extra n from my last name, those nnerds.

My grandfather died before I was born and by the time my grandmother passed when I was in my late teens. She never spoke to any of us of her experience, though the numbers of the tattoo on her forearms suggested a story too horrible to utter out loud. My father did not remember much, as he was very young. When asked about his time in Cuba, the story he would tell would be coming through Ellis Island. Everyone had to take a shower, which were segregated by gender. His older brother was old enough to go with his dad, his youngest brother was young enough to go with his mom. He, however, was on the fence, and ended up going with his mom. He was young enough for this to be appropriate, but old enough to think, "Holy sh@t, what kinda country is this?!"

Missing from this story is the year he and his family spent in Cuba. Because the US were not accepting refugees from fascism and the world was not fully up to speed on the terror of the Holocaust, Cuba was one of the few places to go. Because Hitler was putting pressure on countries around the world to not accept refugees, my dad and his family resided in a Cuban prison for about 6 months. After that time, when the geopolitics shifted a bit, they were released to a refugee camp in Cuba for another 6 months or so before being given passage to the United States.

I bring this up on my food blog of all places because I can't help but wonder how this experience shaped my father's relationship to food, and therefore mine. I imagine Cuban prison food and refugee camp cuisine must have been quite the change from the tarts and cakes from the local bakeries of Vienna. That kid in the picture above was young enough to just go with the flow and follow his parents lead, protected by their love from the horrible tides of history that was literally out to murder them.

So it's not hard to explain the large cupboard in the basement of the house I grew up in that was always full of canned goods and jars and boxes of food, and when some would go bad Dad would just toss it and buy new stuff. It's not hard to understand the chocolates and sweets he'd keep hidden in a drawer in his home office, which I would raid with impunity and feel like I was sharing this great unspoken treat with him.

And then there was the salad. There is a word in Yiddish that my mom used to describe it: ungapatchka.

I guess it's ok to talk smack if everyone I'm talking about is dead, right? My mom hated her mother-in-law. My mom was a career woman coming out of the woman's lib movement, and my dad's mom was a traditionally kept housewife who never expressed a desire to be more, either because of history or lack of desire. Mom felt this woman kept too short a leash on my dad, knuckling him under to be too much of a "momma's boy" (my mom's description, not mine). Worst of all, her house, her fixtures, her curtains were all so big and heavy and old-world and ungapatchka.

My grandmother would have hated it.

When it came to home decorating, my parents were on the same page, snapping up a lot of anti-ungapatchka pieces of the 50s and 60s modern Danish variety, some of which I have in my own home to this day. Where they did not see eye-to-eye, however, was vegetable salad.

According to my mother, my father's salad was ungapatchka. Just too much work, too much chopping, too many ingredients, made all fancy with a noisy dressing. My dad's salads were standard ice berg lettuce, riled up by shredding purple cabbage, red onion, scallion, radish, green pepper, carrot, cucumber, cornichons or Italian gherkins, boxed croutons, grated cheese and a few other things I'm probably forgetting. My dad was never a food professional, but his knife work was determined, his measures balanced, and his seasoning thoughtful. Unlike my mom, he actually cooked.

My mom's salad was a tonal poem of minimalism in comparison. My mom's mom was of Israeli heritage, and her salad (d)evolved from a Mediterranean ideal. Some sticks of carrot, a few hunks of cucumber, some bites of pepper, throw some salt on it and a little olive oil if you're feeling extra motivated, and there you go. Vienna vs. Jerusalem in a nutshell.

My grandfather passed before I could meet him, but I recently felt a strong kinship with him a few months ago, while on a gig for my little knish business:

Family lore has it that my grandfather had a shop/worked in a shop/was about to open a shop in "Radio Row" when the whole area was condemned to make way for the original World Trade Center site. How he'd feel about his grandson giving away (giving away? oy gevault!) artisan knishes (knishes? what, nothing has changed in 65 years?!) on these grounds, I can only imagine (I am the ghost of your grandfather! I only speak in ellipses in blog posts....)
Regardless, like all New Yorkers who lived through 9/11, I'm happy to see that hole in our city filled in, and I'm especially proud to be part of this event, representing real NYC food and, by blood, Radio Row.

We are more than the sum of our parent's genetic material. We are also the receptors and broadcasters of the culture they inherited from their parents so we can pass it along to our broods. And whether it be knishes, candy drawers, or poppa salads, food is shaped by the history it passes through to feed us, generation to generation.
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191.8-->191.8-->190

Stood on the scale Friday morning, 188.6, which only last week was over 196. Measured again at the doctors office about an hour later after a couple of pints of fluid, 190. So in a rare case of FBIWC revisionist history, I'm stepping back last week's weigh in and using my doctor's weight. I'm going to credit all the reasons in the "anti" side last week, as well as water weight.

Hopefully not in the spirit of, "I'm not a racist, but...": Not to go into a long self-congratulatory rant, but I'm glad despite the discouraging numbers last week, I knew in my gut that it wasn't right. That is a sense I didn't really have a year ago. I could have freaked out or despaired or hit the food twice as hard, but I knew I was ok and I've stayed the course. Maybe this whole 'permanent weight loss' thing might work out after all.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2732

Urrrg, not a good weekly average at all. Fell off on Tuesday, then the expected up-ramp Friday night with one stupid box of cookies. Looking at my notes, Tuesday was fine, I accept it, but I can do better than what I did on Friday eve. Not perfection, just improvement.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2265

SLEPT: 9:15pm-5am, 7.75 hrs
Snow got me late to work, then had to leave early to pick up Edie, as public schools cancelled after school programming. Damn, this winter. Regardless, was able to keep on track diet-wise most of the way. I do see that eating a super-light dinner tends to end up with cheesy poofs filling in the gap to 2000 cal, but it doesn't satisfy -- it makes me want to eat more. I cap THAT off with some nuts, which is very effective. I think I need to reintroduce a grain like quinoa or whole wheat cous cows to the light dinner, cut out the cheetos, and depend on nuts as an eating-cap.

AM SNACK: 5:15 am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal
Did a remeasure on the calorie count of the pot, found it surprisingly less dense due to overnight soak instead of simmering. Rather than 2/3 of a pint, closer to a full pint with 1/4 less calories over all.

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, leek artichoke & potato soup, health salad, pickles, 870 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15 pm, momma salad, Nori crackers from graze box, 160 cal
Vaguely sweet, salty rice rounds with bits of green. Yet again, I'm a fan.

DINNER: 6:45pm, sautéed chicken breast, asparagus, poppa salad with light Italian, 465 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:15pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, cashews, 170 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 3335

SLEPT: 8:30pm-4:45am, 8.25 hrs
Large quantity of sleep, but the quality interrupted by a toddler who is very active in her sleep. Regardless, loved every second of it and resulted in lots of hugs and squeezes through the night.

Had a bit of a problem when I got home from work -- didn't feel like cooking, felt a bit overwhelmed and a bit down, but felt compelled to be 100% present for my kids, who were there. There was some ravioli that was made for them but not being eaten, so as I started my food prep I popped one in my mouth….and it was all over. It revved up the engine beyond toleration and after I got my Brussels in the oven, I finished the small pot of ravioli and then zapped some homemade knishes. Still hungry after that, I ate some cashews in hopes of shutting down the drive, but after 10 minutes, the peanut M&Ms started flying while the kids watched TV. Oy. Not going to totally beat myself up, but this can not happen too often. Yes, I'm feelin' mah feelins and all that and need to be kind, but this many excess calories is not kind to myself, it's indulgent.

Can't help but wonder if it's related to the work it took to write the 1st draft of this entry today, I've been missing my parents like crazy this past month or two...

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds and vanilla, 300 cal
Forgot how sweet honey is. Added 1/2 a serving - 10g for 30 cal. Next time will do 5g.

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed stringbeans, spinach lentils, pickles, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 3:45 pm, momma salad, Picante rustica crackers from graze box, 220 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with light Italian dressing, 75 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, undressed cheese ravioli, 2 potato knishes with mustard, cashews, peanut M&Ms, +/- 2000 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2095

SLEPT: 8:30pm-5am, 7.25 hrs
Up for an hour in the middle of the night, probably partially related to the chocolate. Weather too horrible to go to work, worked from home

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, thick-ass fruit smoothie, 400 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken sausage, brussel sprouts, sofrito black beans, pickles, 700 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, olive and rosemary brushetta crackers from graze box, 240 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with light Italian dressing, 75 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 160 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, shirataki stir fry with shrimp, shitaki mushrooms and oyster sauce, 360 cal 

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THURSDAY COUNT: 1960

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5am, 7.5 hrs
Got a strong weight lift knocked out in the morning.

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am,steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, grilled chicken breast, brussel sprouts, sofrito black beans, kimchi, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, salsa fresca and rice crackers from graze box, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with light Italian dressing, 75 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 160 cal

DINNER: 7pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, diet coke, 435

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FRIDAY COUNT: 4,005

SLEPT:11pm-5am, 6 hrs
Late night, not quite enough sleep, but the week of proper sleep carries me through. Happy morning with the weigh-ins, stressful at work during the day.

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST:9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with 5g honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, roasted brussel sprouts, kimchi, 710 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, honeynut cheerios, +/- 100 cal

DINNER: 6pm, meatballs in marinara with cheese, pasta, 2 slices pizza, water, chocolate cake & ice cream +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, digestive cookies, 1,600 cal

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WEEKEND REPORT
Not the worst weekend, not the best. Started eating too much Friday night, went through Saturday. Sunday my stomach was OK, but a little "full" in a weird general sense, and I had to tell myself that I didn't want to eat because I wasn't hungry, I just wanted the experience of eating. It allowed me to consciously keep myself busy in other ways, interesting.

SATURDAY: 3365 cal
SLEPT: 8pm-12:30am, 4:30am-7am, 7 hrs

AM SNACK: 7:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:45am, BLT on bagel, homefries, diet coke, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: noon, pirate bootie, 65 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, Special K protein version with 2% milk, peanut M&Ms, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, chocolate kind bar, 200 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, falafel sandwich, stuffed grape leaves, +/- 500 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, vanilla kind bar, 200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, peanut M&Ms, +/- 500 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, popcorn, +/- 300 cal

SUNDAY
SLEPT: 10pm-6am, 8 hours

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8am, homemade granola with 2% milk

LUNCH: 1pm, quarter pounder, fries, diet coke

PM SNACK: 2pm, apple tart, green tea

PM SNACK: 6pm, one good whisky on the rocks

DINNER: 7:45pm, shrimp burrito

EVENING SNACK: 8:15pm, chocolate kind bar
Surprised how satisfying a snack these things are. Mostly nuts, mildly sweet, amped up with inulin, oh excuse me, "Chicory root extract", a mildly sweet fiber. Got a box of these for the kids, but I find myself eying them, he he.

My dad and his sausage.

From Esquire Magazine, Dec 1999. For their 100th year publishing, they did a head shot and blurb from one person born in each of those years. Some famous, some grabbed off the street like my poppa.

My dad liked to play "hide the sausage". He was born in Vienna, Austria, to solidly upper-middle-class Jews in 1934. Though the dad I knew was pretty much a Jew by culture and a solid atheist by belief, back then there really was no such thing as an "atheist Jew". Everyone went to temple, everyone honored the high holidays, everyone ate kosher by default. This was before the reform movement in Judiaism. You were either "religious" or "very religious". There was no wiener schnitzel in the Wildmann household circa 1934 Vienna, and there was no pork sausage in the Wildman* household circa 1971, Staten Island....except for the hidden breakfast sausages that were tucked in the back of the freezer, never to be openly served in the kitchen. So what did you think I meant by "hide the sausage"? 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sausage

Though my dad arrived in the U.S. in 1940, he and his family left Vienna in early 1939. They first spent time as refugees in Cuba, and after about 6-8 months, the U.S. started accepting refugees from the Holocaust. His father tried to start up his music-store business in the U.S., but was unable to get traction but found work. His mother had a number tattoo on her arm she never spoke of or explained. As a 6 year old in the Bronx, he spoke German and some Spanish, but not  a lick of English. The one or two photographs that exist from this time show a skinny kid with a massively round head, like a Peanuts character who had seen too much of the world. 

Ist dieser Ellis Island? Espero que no haya buena salchicha.

What was he eating? What did they serve in Cuba? Did his parents keep up with the kosher diet after having their entire lives uprooted, traumatized and tossed to the other side of the world? My father passed after a long, successful and well-loved life a few years ago, and I'm afraid those answers are gone. But I remember growing up with the impact of his early years.

I grew up in a big house with front and back yards on a hill in Staten Island. The 1920's era construction had a full basement with a washer/dryer, a boarded-up abandoned mud-room and a secondary room used as a fully functioning wood-shop. My dad made much of the cabinetry for the house, some of which lives on in my brother's home and my apartment. And then there was the food pantry.

Underneath the stairs leading from the ground floor to the basement was a large wooden unit with doors which my father made. It was stained a medium brown, and the doors were cheap thin plywood with a little metal clasp to keep them from swinging open. The multiple shelves with in were always full of mostly canned goods, some glass jars and boxes of dry goods. I remember huge cans of College Inn Chicken Broth, gefilte fish, ketchup, tomatoes and tomato sauce, dried beans, rice.

From the earliest memories until the day they moved from that house to retire, that food pantry was always full. Whenever there was a sale at the supermarket, 10 of something would go in the pantry. If there was a steep discount for dented cans, those dented cans would end up in the pantry. I think about 65% of the canned goods in that pantry ended up rusting, swelling and being thrown out. It would drive my mom crazy, but my dad would just grunt and shrug it off.

In hindsight and with some education, I now realize that my dad was acting in a way that probably meant he had some serious deprivation when he was a kid. Food probably wasn't too forthcoming when they packed their bags, traded in all their wealth for paperwork to get the hell out of Vienna, take a steamer to Cuba, then spend months and months in a refugee camp. He never spoke of it, but it oozed out into the pantry in the basement.

And then there was the hidden sausage. What the hell was that about? My parents did not keep a kosher household, but what we ate was primarily influenced by what they grew up with, which was kosher and kosher-style. The pantry was out in the open, but the sausages were in the back of the freezer, never to be served out in the open. I only knew it was my dad's because my mom would bitch about my dad hording food and batteries in the freezer (they were on sale!). My mom would have loved to throw out as much as possible if my dad let her. There were plenty of large trays of meat that would eventually get freezer-burned and thrown out, but there was always a small number of Jimmy Deans in the back.

And I ate them. I would reheat them in the newfangled microwave, and eat their greasy, goyish spicy goodness on the down-low. It gave me the same thrill as going into the basement and rifling through my dad's massive collection of Playboy magazines. It was naughty, it was adult, mom didn't approve, it was so NOT Jewish! Mmmm sausage!

My dad grew up with too little, I grew up with too much. I hope I can get it right with my kids. My dad could blame Hitler, so perhaps I can blame Hitler  for my over-eating, too. I'm sure that would make Big Soda and the Food Industry happy. -sigh-

Good thing or bad thing: when one google-images "funny Hitler", nothing particularly funny comes up?

*When my dad and his family passed through Ellis Island in 1940, they lost the extra N. By naming me Noah, they brought enough Ns back for everyone!

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Mmmm, go-go juice!

ADD and ADHD is a topic way too large for a glib addendum, but there was a frightening piece in the NY Times this week about giving ADD meds to kids in school to help them increase their grades. NOT because they have ADD, but because the schools are low on funds and have given up on trying to increase their grades the ol' fashioned way. As I read the headline, my first thought is, "did they consider diet?" But as the news-churn has been demonstrating, adjusting school diets is a fraught and expensive thing, while drugs are cheap. More next week.

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Nice to see a well-done anti-soda promotion. Nice to see the polar bears and "HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY" themes of the multi-billion dollar Coke advertising complex recontextualized.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2,463
REFINED SUGAR: 15%
Not a great eating week, almost every day I succumbed to some form of refined sugar, and illness made the later part of the week sloppy. Next week I'm focused on cooking for a knish event on Saturday, the kitchen will be turned over to production, a little worried my eating is going to take a turn for the worse.
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MONDAY COUNT: 2535
Due to school being closed for more Jewish holidays, Edie rode on my back while I did my second set of push ups. Managed to get through 15 instead of the usual 35, but considering 10 used to be my limit for unweighted push ups, that's pretty good. Haven't slept well in a couple of days, woke up tired.

AM SNACK: 7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal

BREAKFAST: 9am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon & salt, water, 375 cal

AM SNACK: 10:30am, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm, fresh papadelle pasta with chicken & andouille ragu, small side salad, 12oz diet coke, +/-850 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, broiled sole, steamed string beans, whole wheat cous cous, 7oz diet sprite, 935 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, cake from a box, +/-250 cal
Wasn't planning on dessert, but a friend came over with cake, and it was exactly what I needed after a high-stress, under-slept day. Hormones or something.
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2175
Tried to do some work after everyone went to bed, then tried to watch TV, and failed at both. Put myself in bed at 10, woke up to B leaving for work at 8:30, guess I needed that. Wasn't hungry for breakfast, but Edie insisted on noisy ice cream, so I guess it was good in that it kept me to an eating schedule -- people who eat more breakfast eat less dinner.

Ordered in Chinese with grandma, but since this is not a weekend, tried to go light -- string beans instead of noodles, 1 cup plain brown rice instead of 2 cups of fried rice. Still calorie-heavy, but not obscene, and by the end of day, I felt that slight hunger, but nothing I couldn't sleep on.

AM SNACK: 9am, iced green tea, 25 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am,  fruit smoothie, 375 cal

AM SNACK: 11:45am, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, 7oz diet sprite, 525 cal

DINNER: 6pm. shrimp & stringbeans with 1 cup brown rice, shrimp toast, 12oz diet coke, +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:15pm, 8oz chocolate milk. 250 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2425

Chores in the morning, got home for lunch, fit in weights in in the afternoon . Controlled my eating at school, and had a relatively light dinner. 

AM SNACK: 8:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat sandwiches, momma salad, 7oz diet coke, 960 cal

SCHOOL SNACK: 6:30pm, small piece of grilled chicken, 1 ladle of mashed potatoes, small portion of swiss chard with caramelized onions, lemonade, +/-400 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Stouffer's Frenchbread pizza, 740 cal ds axd

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2365

Are there restaurants in the city that are healthier than national-chain fast food that ALSO supplies calorie counts? I want to go to there.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:00am, whole grain chex with whole milk, 300 cal

AM SNACK: 11:30am, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 12:15pm, quarter pounder, fries, diet coke, 900 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, 7oz diet sprite, 0 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, whole wheat spaghetti with chicken sausage, tomato sauce and roasted brussel sprouts, water 1040 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2815

Original plan was to wake up early and go riding, but couldn't get out of bed, sore throat, foggy head. Fortunately I had the ability to chill, with a baby sitter taking care of the Milli. Spent a slow day indoors, took myself out for lunch, then again in the late evening for dinner. Not a good eating day, but food did give me comfort.

BREAKFAST: 10am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, +/- 500 cal

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, momma salad, pickle, 115 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, veg dim sum, +/- 1000 cal

DINNER: 9:45pm, 2 slices of streetza, ice cream bar, +/-900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 11pm, peanuts & chocolate chips, +/- 300 cal