Chobani, are you kidding me?!

No, this does not taste good, dear.

About a year ago, I ruminated on the personal delusions of someone close to me -- she insisted that 0% Fat Free Fage Greek Yogurt and full fat Whole Fage Greek Yogurt tasted the same, and that no one could tell the difference, and she would go on eating her fat-free dairy regardless of what any scientist or study said because her own nutritionist said so and it made her (and I suspect her nutritionist) feel good and "feminine" to keep up the fat-makes-you-fat-myth beyond all reason or reality.

Indeed, it was this woman who introduced me to Fage yogurt about a decade ago. I vaguely remembering tasting her yogurt and thinking, "interesting texture, but tastes like chalky ass" but when I soon tried the whole milk version, all became clear. I've been regularly eating Whole Fage for breakfast several times a week ever since that fateful day.

Three years ago when Gawker started railing against all Greek yogurts as vastly inferior to Fage, I just shrugged and went along my merry way -- damn hipsters trying to be funny by ragging on big brands and championing a slightly smaller big brand, whatever. I never really considered another brand like Chobani because it only came in 0% or a tepid 2% -- why even bother?

Well, last week, on my normal grocery run, the shop was out of Fage Whole in the big containers. However, a new thing showed up: Chobani 4%. Huh, I thought. In fine print it says it's made from whole milk, but….it's not for eating? It says it is perfect for chefs, for cooking and using in recipes. Which automatically makes me think -- if an ingredient is NOT good for cooking and using in recipes, why would you want to eat it anyway? It's too offensive to the anti-fat crowd to suggest your full fat product might be tastier?

I should have known better. I bought the container, thinking eh, full fat Greek is full fat Greek, it's probably all the same. I ate a bowl of it today. It was hard to finish. It was watery and loose, a distinct metallic tinge and reminded me of the crappy Dannon yogurt I ate as a kid. Gawker was right: Chobani is "garbage yogurt".  I threw the rest of the container away, as it's not fit to feed my children, certainly not to cook with.

In my younger years, my passion for music had me at a philosophical quandary: I knew the cool, underground, indie music I liked was VASTLY superior to the pap that was being foisted upon the masses to great profit but artistic corruption….but how could I prove it? What metric or scientific measure could be performed to prove once and for all something I knew to be true with all my heart?

Part of me knows this is foolish silliness, that art is too subjective to measure objectively, but part of me still believes that a Prince Buster outtake or a Pixies demo is still self-evidently superior to whatever crap is called Top 40 today. But when I tasted this Chobani stuff, my bluster at the offense at how ridiculously bad it is made me think there must be some scientific way to prove that Fage (and therefore Fage eaters) are VASTLY superior to garbage yogurt people. (Funny, there actually is a way to prove it, with food science methodology, but it would need to be controlled for financial interests, but that's another post….)

That's it. That's my grand food thought for the week, simple: If you eat Greek Yogurt, you are eating Fage Whole. If you are eating a reduced version that takes away flavor, satiety and the health giving properties of the stuff, you are simply a fool. (And if you're worried about calories, eat less of it, dummy.) However, if you are eating Chobani when you have access to Fage, you are plumb retarded.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2462
Wedneday was a gorge day which I'm excluding from this average, I'll not beat myself up as long as this doesn't become a regular thing.

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BIKE CREDIT: 720 cal
MONDAY COUNT: 2685

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6:30am, 9hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 10:30am, homemade granola bar, 250 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 1:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, mahi mahi, asparagus, pickles, 425 cal

PM SNACK 3:45pm, kind bar, 200 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, Stouffers French Bread pizzas, poppa salad with dressing, 1020 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, popcorn, +/- 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, M&Ms, almond butter and chocolate syrup, +/- 500 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2340

SLEPT: 10pm - 6:30am, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 7 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, fage yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 1:45pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310cal

LINNER: 4:45pm, poppa salad with grilled chicken breast, 620 cal

EVENING SNACK: 5pm, kind bar, 200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:30pm, 2 kid granola bars, 200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30, popcorn, +/- 400 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 700 cal
WEDNESDAY COUNT: -----

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6:30am,  9 hrs
Thought I had it within reason, but I think I burned more calories than expected on some commuting bike rides and didn't account for it. Hunger kept me up and ate a large chocolate snack at 1 in the morning just to get straight. Not gonna beat myself up, just gonna try to work around this next time.

AM SNACK: 6:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 150mg caffeine, 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 11am, homemade granola bar, 225 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:15pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:15pm, chicken meat balls, madras lentils, steamed string beans, pickles, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, Chipotle burrito, chips & salsa, poppa salad with dressing, 1710 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, kind bar, 200 cal

BLOWOUT: 1am, a large piece of babka, +/- 1500 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2520

SLEPT: 1:30am - 5:30am,  4 hrs
Woke up with a sour stomach, no doubt due to middle of the night food. Too little sleep, too.

AM SNACK: 5:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, Chobani yogurt with almonds, honey, vanilla, 450 cal
HOLY SHIT! WTF!!

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, kind bar, 400 cal

TIGGER DINNER: 6pm, seared scallops, ramp butter mashed potatoes, sauteed garlic spinach, roasted brussel sprouts, chocolate babka, herbal tea, +/- 1200 cal
-----

FRIDAY COUNT: 2365

SLEPT: 11pm - 5:30am,  6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10pm, Fage with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 1:1pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, shiritake noodle stir fry with shrimp, shitakes, oyster sauce, 1/2 a poppa salad, 445 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, hot dog, fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

Sprouting, nuts?

The stuff of creamy hippy dreams

Freshly ground almond butter from my local Wholefoods is $6.99/lb. I enjoy purchasing it -- you take an empty plastic container, hold it under the grinder spout and switch the machine on, and the almonds in the glass hopper slowly lower and a slow stream of warm, chunky almond butter is extruded. Recently, though, another machine with other almonds appeared next to it -- this contained "sprouted" almonds and it's sprouted almond butter goes for $18.99/pound. Whoah. What's this then?

AIGH! The stuff of crunchy hippy nightmares.

The process of sprouting almonds is quite simple -- soak whole, raw unpeeled almonds in water for 12 hours, then drain and store up to 4-5 days under refridgeration. That explains the expense -- unlike normal almonds, which can sit on the shelf for months without going rancid, the freshness window of a few days would make the logistics of putting them up for sale a lot more exacting.

But to the point, why even bother?

Raw almonds have tannic acid and an enzyme inhibitor in their brown skin that protects the nut until the proper levels of sunlight and moisture allow it to germinate. Since the nut does not release its enzymes until those conditions have been reached, eating almonds without removing the inhibitor limits the nutrients your body can absorb and makes the almond difficult to digest. By soaking almonds, you provide the moisture that makes the almond shed its skin and release its enzymes. The process works with most nuts and seeds.

You can think of a nut as something like an egg. In an egg, the shell keeps the contents stable, and the contents make up both the future chicken and the food the chicken will eat while in the egg (the nutritious yoke.) By soaking the nut, you are getting rid of some of chemical equivalent of it's "shell" -- it stops being shelf stable, but becomes easier to digest. It's not that there is more nutrition there all of a sudden, it's just that it becomes easier to digest.

Sometimes an egg doesn't get to be a chicken. Don't tell this little dude.

Trawling through the wiki page, the science seems to support the idea that there is some benefit to sprouting nuts and seeds before consumption. It also warns of bacterial poisoning -- any food left in water at room temperature over time is in danger of accumulating colonies of harmful bacteria like salmonella.  In fact, you can not actually buy truly raw almonds in the United State: due to a few salmonella outbreaks in almonds produced in California (where the vast majority of almonds come from), all "raw" almonds have been steam or chemically pasteurized to prevent bacterial contamination.

The FDA believes that since the "essential characteristics" of almonds are unchanged by pasteurization (whether by steam or PPO), it is acceptable to label pasteurized almonds as raw. The raw-food community disagrees, maintaining that exposing any food to a temperature above 118°F automatically disqualifies the food as raw. While Natural Grocers respects the opinion of both camps, we base our definition of raw on another criterion—whether the nut can be sprouted. In our opinion, sprouting is a sign of vitality and life. And since steam-pasteurized almonds can be sprouted, we consider it appropriate to label them as raw. So, while our raw bulk almonds have been steam-pasteurized, they will continue to be labeled "raw."

A 1 pound bag of whole steam-pasteurized almonds at Wholefoods is $6.99. My juicer has a nut-butter attachment. I don't eat a pound of nut butter in a week, but being that I have the equipment, I think I'll try sprouting 1/4 pound of nuts and using it it my main two applications -- in an AB&J sandwich, and straight up with chocolate syrup and a spoon. At $12 less a pound, watch for part 2 of this entry doing a taste test…

I think we know where ODB would have stood on this issue.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2499
A difficult week, but I made it through.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2,665

SLEPT: 10pm - 6am, 8hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, grazebox nuts and crakers, kind bar, 540 cal
Supermarkets out of baby carrots, yesterday and this morning. Very odd.

DINNER: 6pm, falafel, tomato soup, health salad, poppa salad with dressing, 815 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, popcorn, +/- 500 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:15pm, kind bar, 200 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2110

SLEPT: 10pm - 6:30am, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 7:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, fage yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2:30pm, momma salad, grazebox almonds, 310cal

DINNER: 6pm, hake, asparagus, poppa salad, with dressing, 550 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 7:30pm, kind bar, 2 kid's granola bars, 1.5 cookies, 640 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2,570

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6:30am,  9 hrs

AM SNACK: 7 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

AM SNACK: 11:45am, momma salad, grazbox crackers, 200 cal

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, kind bar, 200 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1:45pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LINNER: 5pm, sauteed chicken breast, poppa salad with dressing, 560 cal

DINNER: 8pm, curry ramen, gyoza, edamame, cheesecake, water, +/- 1000 cal 
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2670

SLEPT: 1am - 6am,  5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage yogurt with almonds, honey, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, sautéed shrimp, poppa salad with dressing, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, mushroom barley soup, herring, mini knish, sable on pumpernickel, babka, ice cream, slightly sweet cherry soda, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: kind bar, peanut butter and chocolate syrup, +/- 500 cal
-----

BIKE CREDIT: 715 cal
FRIDAY COUNT: 2480

SLEPT: 11pm - 5:30am,  6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 150 mg caffeine 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 11am, granola bar, 225 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, fruit smoothie, chicken sausage with mushroom masalla and steamed string beans, kombucha, +/- 800 cal

DINNER: 4:30pm, hot dog, fries, cesar salad, cronut, half a cookie, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, cheezits, 2 packs of ramen, 1010 cal

Portion size, revisited

I wonder how big their scoops are.

It's quite a funny feeling to read about capitalist sharks circling a massive, failing chain restaurant, and it recommends a particular strategy to turn it around: cut it out with the massive portions of bad food, serve smaller portions of good food.

“Extreme portion size is inconsistent with authentic Italian values,” said Starboard Value, which owns a stake in Olive Garden’s parent company, and wants the chain to shift toward selling smaller portions of better food. 

Quantity over quality is an overarching theme when it comes to the American value system of consumerism as a method of finding happiness. But when it comes to authentic Italian food, and to to food and health in general, more is not always better.

One of my resolutions this year is to refocus my weekday calorie consumption back to 2300, and more importantly, do so without counting every calorie compulsively -- to live within the budget without expending more mental energy than I have to. The NY Times ran a series of photos around the new year of exactly what 2000 calories from a fast food restaurant looks like -- 2000 cal is the recommended daily caloric intake for an average adult. Thing is, these meals are just that -- single meals, not an entire day's worth of food.

This picture is 2000 calories from Chipotle, a newfangled face food chain that stresses the quality and sustainability of it's ingredients, fresh cooking and healthfulness along side quick service. I like their stuff, and have had their burritos a bunch of times in the second half of 2014. However, strip away the chips and dip and soda, and I find it challenging to have a meal here for under 800 calories. Credit to them, they have an excellent, simple calculation tool on line, but even when I put together a burrito to my satisfaction (no cheese or rice, but ya gotta have guac) it's still 865 calories, when an ideal meal is 600-700 cal. In these terms, it's almost senseless to look at most other fast food chains -- it's quantity over quality, looking to take my money in hopes that I'm not looking out for my health.

The photo essay ends with home cooked foods that total up to 2000 calories -- easily three squares a day and snacks. They're preaching to the converted, sure, but it's good to be reminded as I start a new year. This year has been a bit bumpy for me so far, but I'm confident I'll be able to get things in order. Start with the good functioning of the insides, and work outward. And the insides work best with good, clean fuel.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2341
Close, felt good, didn't really deny myself much. I'm sure this will get easier as I allow new revised habits to become more automatic.

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BIKE CREDIT: 625 cal
MONDAY COUNT: 2280

SLEPT: 10pm - 6:30am, 8.5 hrs
Nice afternoon bike ride, cold weather is coming in and may not ride again for a week or so...

AM SNACK: 6:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, falafel, tomato soup, health salad, 615 cal

PM SNACK: 2:15pm, momma salad, grazebox beans, 260cal

BIKE SNACK: 4:30pm, homemade granola bar, 250 cal

DINNER: 7pm, hake, asparagus, poppa salad with dressing, fritos, 850 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, potato chips 320 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2255

SLEPT: 9pm - 12am, 1am-7am, 9 hrs
Sick kid at home, stressful but ate well.

AM SNACK: 7:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, fage yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, momma salad, grazebox seeds, 270cal

LUNCH: 3:30pm,chicken meatballs, steamed stringbeans, curry lentils, 660 cal

DINNER: 7pm, sautéed chicken breast, poppa salad with dressing, 415 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30, popcorn, +/- 300
Actually measured this out for the first time in quite a while -- around 300 calorie of popcorn fried in butter and olive oil is maybe half of what I was guesstimating before…
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2135

SLEPT: 10pm - 6:30am,  8.5 hrs
Day at home hammering away, nice to have my kitchen right by to just eat when hungry, and eat homemade food.

AM SNACK: 8 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH PT1: 1:30pm, poppa salad with dressing, 200 cal

LUNCH PT2: 4:15pm, stir fry with shrimp, shiritaki noodles, oyster sauce and shitake mushrooms, 350 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, cashews, 440 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, 6" Subway veggie burger, 12 oz diet coke 435 cal
Funny how the small fountain soda is 21 oz, only filled it half way.
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2465 

SLEPT: 11pm - 6am,  7 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:30 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:15am, Fage yogurt with almonds, honey, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:15pm, sautéed chicken, pickles, poppa salad with dressing, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, kind bar, 200 cal

DINNER: 8pm, grouper, brussels, quinoa, chocolate crinkle cookie, congee, +/- 975 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT:2570

SLEPT: 11pm - 6am,  7 hrs

AM SNACK: 7 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:15am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, grazebox popcorn 160 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, hotdog, fries, cesar salad, some ice cream & soufflé, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:45, 2.5 cookies, 400 cal

Review, Reset, Resolution

201.2-->203.2-->206.2

It's official: In the past 2 years I lost about 45 lbs, but in the last six months regained about 15. Three steps forward, one step back. I know why this happened: It was around May I started getting really hungry all the time, and wishfully assumed that meant my body simply needed more calories, and set my budget closer to 2600/day, up from 2300. Between that, eating freely on the weekends and letting that creep into Friday nights, it's no surprise I'be been gaining 2-3 pounds a month consistently since.

In hindsight, I should have punched through that hunger with steely resolve and hopefully I either would have rested at my low weight or have continued to lose, and the hunger would have eventually dissipated. I've taken the past two weeks to not really focus on my day to day eating but think in terms of the long-game. I found as I ate relatively healthily during the week but not too tightly bound, my eating on the weekends actually felt less pressurized and I ate closer to how I eat during the week, simply to feel good. I've come to a realization, which in retrospect seems kind of self-evident but still feels like a breakthrough. I guess because it's very…personal, not something that may apply to other people, not something to base a series of self-help diet books on. I've been paying very close attention to the hunger that prompts me to eat, and there seems to be three distinct kinds of hunger:

1. Stomach-centered: My stomach feels empty, void of contents. It's a vaguely uncomfortable feeling, like almost on the edge of a cramp, but no actual pain. The rest of me is fine. 
2. Body-difused: A hunger that feels like it's coming from all over my body, particularly in my head and forearms, similar to bonking on the bike but slower and less disorienting. I guess it's probably a drop in blood sugar and an over all craving or lust for food - actual hunger, a physiological call to feed myself. 
3. Emotionally-centered: I skipped dinner twice this past week and found myself with an empty stomach - all my life that has been taken as a signal to eat. My parents took great pains and great satisfaction with providing me with three square meals, and I took great satisfaction with sneaking sweets. I was never hungry, infact I was always full. An empty stomach feeling meant something was off.

Unhitching one from three is quite a thing. Pointing to two and saying, "THAT is when I eat" is quite a thing, too.

Thanks, Google Image Search. Thanks a lot.

By skipping dinner a few times over the past two weeks, I wasn't doing anything dangerous, not risking an eating disorder or even denying myself a pleasure or a reward. I was treating my system kindly - I had taken in enough calories at a restaurant or a holiday party, even if I relatively controlled myself during those meals by eating the big salad and not eating too much bread and ice cream. Recognizing that I don't have to eat a regularly scheduled meal if I don't' have the physical call to eat: this feels like a break through of some sort. This is a new key to a read another layer of information on the map.

I'm not a resolutions kind of guy, as people tend to make them for the wrong reasons or make promises that are not realistic. But this blog, and putting out what I eat every day for the world to judge, is kinda like a resolution every week, so sharing some longer-term resolutions might strengthen them.

In 2015, I resolve to:

• Read more for pleasure. Most of what I read this past year was about finances, food or, uh, Artie Lange. There is so many great books, I will regret getting old without indulging in more of them. Experiencing more pleasure, that is a resolution that is a reward unto itself. A good friend recently gave me Low Life, which seems like a natural companion to one of my favorite books of all time, The Power Broker.
• Eat on the weekend in a way that I'd like to eat for the rest of my life, not just indulging in fast and convenient pleasures I think I'm denying myself during the week. Instead of a time for restaurants and frozen foods, this can also be an experimental time to have fun with new salads, new vegetables and preparations. And, of course, a time to go full throttle on the creativity of making something sinful that can be shared. I have kids, -sigh-.
• Get back to 2300 calories a day. I've been hammering away long enough at this game, I know what that looks like, I don't need some journalist preying on other's lame resolution fever to prompt me.
• Weight lift once a week if riding not possible. Haven't waited on this one; have lifted twice the past two weeks -- the first time was a bit startling how my strength has decreased since I stopped a few months ago, and the second time was also startling how a good 1/3 of that returned after just one (soreness-inducing) lift.

There are other resolutions rattling around my head, like approaching more aspects of my life with the same emotionally detached rationality that I've turned my food-thinkin' over to, but I think keeping it to real tangible things will be good enough for now. Thanks and gratitude!