How did I do it?

Fiddy Cent to star in the feature length Tyrone Bigguns movie!!

"How did you lose the weight?" I've heard this question a few times in the past few months. That is the wrong question. Within that question lies the path to gaining it all back and then some. The reason the weight-loss industry earns billions of dollars year after year after year is not because the people who buy into it lose weight, even though they do. They earn billions, rather than mere millions,  because the the customers/victims of the weight loss industry are put on a perpetual cycle of losing and gaining weight.

We need a new word, because "diet" ain't cutting it. On one hand, a diet is simply your way of eating. On the other hand, the word "diet" has come to mean a temporary proscribed way of eating and living to achieve a weight loss goal. When you're on the "diet", you lose weight. When you go back to your original diet after you meet your goal, you eventually balloon back to where you were, but probably heavier due to the tole of the whole process. This is insane. All "diets" are insane by design. Any "diet" that is not intended to be used as a model for eating and living until the day you die is a false diet, and hence gets the quotations.

"How did you lose the weight?" is wrong. "How are you losing weight/maintaining your weight loss?" is what we should be asking. I blame capitalism and the consumer culture of instant gratification.

I find most cooking shows, particularly competitions, dull and shrill, especially when they assume their audiences can't cook and have unsophisticated, childlike tastes. Still, it caught my ear when this bona-fide competition-winning media chef announced a new show, "Cook Your Ass Off". He himself lost around 50 lbs, and is now going to act within the framework of the same media that wants nothing more than you to endlessly consume and feed your desires....to be skinny?

Close buddies to the weight loss industry is the fitness industry. A while ago I wrote about the book "the 4 Hour Body" in which this guy wrote about you can get totally ripped by working out just 4 hours a week. In reality it was a book about starving yourself 6 days a week, then gorging yourself one day a week -- you didn't even really need to work out those 4 hours. Does it work? Probably. Can you do that for the rest of your life? I guess so, if you hate yourself and you hate all the people who you can potentially bond with over food. Y'know, like your family.

Over the past year, once I started showing a weight loss, I've been asked on occasion how I did it, and I'm usually finding myself at a loss for an answer. My fall-back answer is "read the blog".  A friend's husband keeps a weekly blog about an American President who died well over a hundred years ago -- what his bones are doing week to week nowadays I dunno, but several of his readers and friends have encouraged him to turn his writings into a book. Suffice to say, no one has suggested I turn this blog into a book, though Gawd knows there is a hell of a lot more money in "diet" books than a tome about a long dead, non-big-5 head of state.

Why can't I develop a million-selling diet "blook" from my weight loss success? Because I don't have an easy, pithy slogan that can answer a complex question. (Well, not honestly, anyway.) No one wants to hear that it's going to be slow, it's going to be hard and it's going to be forever. I make a reasonable living in a non-food-related industry, and have no urgent need to compel anyone to spend one more damn penny on anything that perpetuates the cycle of "diets". If you want to spend money to lose weight, this is my hard-earned advice:

1. Spend more money on good homecooked food by spending less in restaurants.
2. Spend a little on basic work out equipment like a set of weights and a weight bench, or a bicycle, and don't even bother with a gym. Use your weights and bike regularly.
3. If your not happy with how you eat, don't look to the weight loss industry. Eat more vegetables, whole fruit and less sugar and grains.
4. Finding you can't eat right, even though you know what right is? Go see a shrink who deals with eating issues. If you don't have insurance, go to an Over Eaters Anonymous meeting, as at it's core it's just free group therapy which you pay for by wading through some people who don't understand that religion and God-worshipping doesn't always go hand in hand with spirituality. 

It ain't easy, it can't be made into a zippy catchphrase, and to be honest, it's a plan cut to my size and specifications; you need to explore and figure out your own roadmap. Yes, you can figure out your own roadmap by trying others on for size, but don't be a zealot and don't be a dupe -- take what works, leave the rest behind.

Route 64's Food Roadmap....to Constipation Alley!

Two articles struck me this past week, as my head has been churning with the thoughts that came from discovering I gained a pound last month. They both suggested that people, taken as a whole, are stupid and insane. One was a bit about research that indicates the majority of American seek out food in grocery stores labelled "All Natural", despite the fact that the label is absolutely meaningless and not regulated. Arsenic and lead are all natural, as is high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oil and all the salt in the Dead Sea.

The other article was from a restaurant industry journal, which delivered the latest report in dining trends. There is a disturbing trend that people who are going to eat out less next year because....they want to eat healthier. This is the first time health became more of a concern than money.

Does this mean people actually value their health more than just having food as cheap as possible? Will restaurants have to put more of an effort (and more budget into) buying better ingredients, cooked better and less processed? Let's not go crazy, as I suspect the restaurant industry is targeting a demographic whose idea of "healthier" is extra french fries, because potato is a vegetable. More likely, people will be "healthier" by eating out less and then consuming more frozen, microwaveable prepared meals from the freezer section. Give me convenience or give me death. Oh heck, just gimme both.

I guess I'm pessimistic because as the survey suggests, a key to being healthier is eating in restaurants less, but it is reports like this that help the industry sharpen it's tallons to redirect people's desire to be healthy....right back into restaurants. After all, any and all McDonalds food is "part of a well-balanced diet." What, exactly, is a well-balanced diet? Well, it's all-natural, of course. And according to McDonalds itself, probably excludes french fries and sugared soda.

Balancing act.

The implications of last month's gained pound is rattling around in my head -- next week I'm visiting the nutritionist I consulted before starting this blog for a check in to gauge her opinion.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2438

From the average, clearly I busted my budget, but looking at the reasons why, I'm happy to say there wasn't a binge.

• Monday: Sick family members necessitated quick, convenient food. Not common.
• Tuesday: An portion controlled extra evening snack to meet a real physical hunger.
• Friday: Home cooked meal, had a special guest over, ice cream and chocolate syrup was a nice way to end the week with friends and family around me, and c'mon, it was only 130 cal over budget.

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MONDAY COUNT:2785 

SLEPT: 9:30pm-4am, 6.5hr
Got a good lift in in the morning. Did an extended commute to work, oy, too cold. Holy crap, I ran out of matzoh ball soup! How did that happen? Must make soup this week.... A lot going on, must focus...came home to a sick house, just didn't have the time or focus to cook, so I baked off some frozen pizzas and added the asparagus as an afterthought, realizing the hot oven and time worked just as well for it. Right before bed, realized I hadn't stopped moving since I left work, and treated myself to some corn chips. Didn't need them, busted the budget, but it was NOT a binge and it felt right.

AM SNACK: 4:15 am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken sausage, madras lentils, steamed string beans, 660 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, French bread pizzas, roasted asparagus, 950 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2555

SLEPT: 9pm-4am, 7 hours
The main task of the morning was making Butternut Squash soup, with homemade chicken stock. Surprised to find the calorie count is almost twice the matzoh ball soup. I didn't use any dairy or cream, and carefully measured the coconut oil I used to soften the onion, but unlike the previous soup, the main component is the vegetable (.47c/g), rather than just stock (something like .1 c/g) Oh well, it's still a) full o' vegetable and b) relatively low calorie.

Tired in the evening, busted out the extra cheetos after having fritos with dinner in hope of spendng less time eating to get to sleep earlier. Didn't work that way, just too much goin' on. Funny, had to check myself, was honestly hungry when I ate the extra cheetos, it was not a binge....though the thought of wolfing down a bowl of peanut M&Ms did flash through my mind.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, falafel, butternut squash soup, health salad, 770 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, hake loin, roasted brussel sprouts, fritos, 715

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 585
WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2000 

SLEPT: 9pm-3am, 6hr
Not as much sleep as I would have liked, but there are only so many early-morning ride days with temps in the mid 40s before winter shuts the gate. Breakfast was delayed due to sitting in a DOH office waiting to get a permit for an event next week (can't really write about it yet, I signed a contract that makes me mum without explicit permission.)

AM SNACK: 3:15 am, granola bar, iced green tea, 575 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken meatballs, sofrito black beans, roasted brussel sprouts, 510 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 6:30pm, cheetos, 300 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, stirfry with shirataki noodles, shrimp, shitaki mushrooms, oyster sauce, 325 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2320

SLEPT: 9:15pm-3:45am, 6.5 hours
Woke up 15 min early on my own, but looking forward to hitting the weights and getting chores done. That does sound a little nutty, doesn't it? Went out to a midtown businessman pub with a friend I don't see nearly often enough for dinner, indulged a bit with her -- we used to go buck-wild eating together years ago, so I didn't feel bad about greatly enjoying the meal. I ate relatively reasonable the rest of the day, and had to cycle to and from Costco with 120 lbs of shopping, so the sugar came in handy.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, sauteed chicken breast, quinoa, roasted brussels, 550 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 6pm, French onion soup, moules frites, brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce, +/- 1000 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2630

SLEPT: 10pm-3am, 5 hours
Not enough sleep, but could not be helped. Had to get up to do chores and chop 40 lbs of onions -- if I fall behind on knish production at this point, it'll domino down the schedule.

AM SNACK: 3:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, fruit smoothie, 410 cal

LUNCH: 1:15 pm, almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, health salad, 610 cal

PM SNACK: 1:45pm, shrimp summer roll, +/- 150 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, babaganoush, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 6pm, scallops, butternutsquash soup, knishm broccoli, ice cream and chocolate syrup, +/- 1000 cal
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WEEKEND REPORT
Saturday was a gut-buster, starting with breakfast at McDonalds, going through cookies, pizza, a hot dog and more, though I didn't have much dinner, just wasn't hungry oddly enough. Woke up at 3 on Sunday after 7 hours of sleep, got in a caffienated 45 mile ride that did my head good. Spent the day making a kick-ass cake for my son, whose birthday we celebrated in the afternoon. Eating wasn't great, but it didn't feel compulsive -- between ride, prep and party, I was just too busy to really slam too much food down. Perhaps this suggests a way forward? Maybe I should look into a scheduled, structured repeating activity for me and one or two of my kids to participate in and keep my face out of the feed trough?

Monthly Weigh-in: Droppin' a dime o̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶ off my ass

212.8--->218.2-->208.8
Well, that's nice, four pounds down from before the unexpected gain last month. Here are my blunt thoughts, positive and negative. On the positive side,

• Sugar finally controlled. No sweets 5 days a week. It was hard the first week or so, but cravings are now only popping up once or twice a week.
• Much more raw veg. Taking to eating both momma and poppa salads daily during the week, on top of eating one or two cooked veg. Feels right.
• More accurate counting, no rationalization of cheating like I did in December. Yes, my 3 readers, I am accountable to you.

However,

• Having the flu and then going straight into prepping for a colonscopy is not a diet plan. Flu also kinda low-lighted two weekends where usually I would have taken in 4000 extra calories each or so. I do not expect to replicate these results.
• Last month's weigh-in was at the beginning of the week, while this one was at the end. I might still have had my weekend gorging in my system.
• My free eating still needs to be reigned in a little on the weekends, as I don't feel good after them. I actually found some inspiration in a wackadoo weight loss guru, details below....

Regardless, I'm now more than half way to my first goal -- getting to 195, where according to the Body Mass Index calculation, I will magically go from "obese" to merely "overweight". Looking at the graph above, this is the time of year I'm either gaining weight or at my max, so if I can just get through another month or two with reasonable weight loss, it should get easier once cycling season is upon us, and I start taking calorie credits from those journeys.

Not gonna think too hard about how to improve, I guess just stay the course and try not to hurt myself on the weekends, keep trying to do a damn pull-up, and hopefully find my wife eating healthier. If I lose 1 lb in February, that'll be fine, though if I lose 5, I'll be happy. 

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He's also about achieving 15-minute orgasms, ladies!

I heard an in depth interview with author Tim Ferriss on Mark Maron's WTF podcast, which usually features comedians and a few musicians. Sounds like a pretty interesting fellow with a certain over-the-top methodology that perhaps leads to hucksterism more than science, but  upon reading the basic details of his lose-20-lbs-in-30-days diet, I was a bit taken back by how much of it is what I've been doing to lose weight a tad more slowly. Italics are my commentary.

• Rule 1: Avoid "white" carbohydrates (or anything that can be white). I already do this, but Ferriss takes it farther by cutting out most grains, whole or not. Judging by what I figured out when I was focused on glycemic load, this may not be totally koo-koo-bell.
• Rule 2: Eat the same few meals over and over again. Again, I kinda do this, though he goes farther by eating pretty much the same thing every day, I'm more like eating a lot of the same things week to week.
• Rule 3: Don't drink calories. This is pretty universal, sugared drinks are for fatties and diabetics, or those heading that way. Ferriss promotes two glasses of red wine a day, which from everything I know, sounds pretty counter-productive. I get the feeling that Ferriss is promoting what works for him personally, and is making a leap that it will work for most others.
• Rule 4: Don't eat fruit. Yep, I don't eat much fruit either. Other than my once a week fruit smoothie, small amount of fruit in my vegetable juice, and the rare banana, I naturally stay away from fruit. Sugar is sugar is sugar, even if the packaging is full of water, fiber and nutrients. Vegetables are also full of water, fiber and nutrients, just not the insulin-revving sugar.
• Rule 5: Take one day off per week and go nuts. Damn it, I kinda do that too! I take two days off per week. He described the arc of my free-eating weekends in the interview -- early on, one eats so badly on the free day that they get sick, and after one or two more times of eating and feeling horrible soon after, the free-eating days get reigned in simply because it sucks to feel so bad. I think it's not a bad idea to divide my free-eating weekends into one free-eating conservative day, like I'm still calorie restricting but not recording and thinking about it so much, and one free-eating damn-it-all-to-hell day....

Those are only the five reduced rules of a 900 book page obsessively dedicated to transforming the body. He goes into taking blood regularly to monitor his blood chemistry and wearing a glucose monitor, which is an IV to steadily tell you your blood sugar, and a device with a tube through the nose into the stomach, to constantly know calories. In short, nutso. The "4 Hour Body" refers to only having to work out 4 hours a week to get serious results, but c'mon, this method of dieting is 24 hours/6 days a week. Still, I only work out for about 2 hours a week with barbells (Ferriss is all about kettle bells, which does look intriguing) so again, I kinda do that already. Still, I don't need a charismatic guru who likes to go way beyond common sense.  Me, I think I'll continue to hoe my own road for now.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2284

First full week back to health, really missed eating a lot of veg, weirdly enough. It kinda tastes good and definitely makes me feel good. Feel good that the weekly average is in budget, despite a day I went over, thanks to a big ol' slice of Costco pizza. Had a general physical this past week, blood pressure, lipids, pee, everything is better than it's been in years. I've always had mildly high blood pressure, mildly high cholesterol, etc etc, and they're all now verging on 100% perfect. Weird seeing my chest X-rays, my heart is totally normal sized, lungs clear and healthy. Oh, and the results of the colonoscopy were 100% clear, thanks for asking! 

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MONDAY COUNT: 2185
Went to bed hungry, felt the sugar cravings as well as real hunger, but cheesy poofs would have broke the budget. Resisting non-simple carbs and fat is hella easier than ignoring the siren call of sugar.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, Brown sugar, cinnamon, vanilla and salt, 375 cal

PM SNACK: 1pm, baby carrots, 80 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, broiled sole, whole grain rice mix, sautéed spinach, 7oz diet coke, 890 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, apple carrot kale ginger juice, 90 cal

DINNER: 8pm, double quarter pounder, 12 oz diet coke, 750 cal
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2605
Nice to wake up with honest, real hunger. Lets me know yesterday's count was close to accurate. Doctor visit for my annual reports good health, and an early preview of my weight indicates I might be on track to have lost the pounds I gained last month.

Pizza snack at Costco, nice because they post calorie counts, not so nice because one stinkin' slice of mediocre pie is 620 cal, about double what I would have guessed. I suspect it set me up for an over-budget night snack, despite having a healthy late dinner.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, whole Fage yogurt with almonds, agave and vanilla, 410 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm, large green salad with homemade dressing and boiled shrimp, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, beef jerkey, 7oz diet coke, 120 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, Costco pizza, 620 cal

DINNER: 8pm, chicken sausage, teff, spinach, pickle, 7oz diet sprite, 845 cal
Teff is one weird grain. Originally from Ethiopia and used in their injira bread, it looks like tiny dark brown seeds that cook up weirdly pasty, in a good way. Slightly nutty flavor, nice change up from the more granular grains.

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 1980
Hungry a few times during the day, but never was too far from a snack or a meal. Did have some sugar-pangs in the later evening, and my mind started to rationalize why it would be ok to eat more, but fortunately I was able to recognize the rationalization pattern and squash it....and it helped knowing I was making up for going over budget on Tuesday!

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10am, fruit smoothie, 375 cal

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, chicken meatballs, shirataki spaghetti-style noodles, homemade tomato sauce, steamed string beans, 7oz diet coke, 530 cal
Huh, shirataki noodles are weird. I drained, rinsed, boiled for 90 seconds then drained and tossed in a dry hot pan for a few minutes -- according to Internet lore, this makes the noodles more pasta-like. And...it was! Weird chewy texture, but not unpleasant. Looks like spaghetti, kinda tastes neutral, pleasant chew. If it were wheat pasta, this meal would have been over 1200 cal easy.

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, apple/carrot/kale/beet/ginger/cilantro juice, 85 cal

DINNER: 8pm, 1 stouffer's french bread pizza, poppa salad with homemade dressing, pickle, 7oz diet sprite, 590 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2335
Good work out this morning, still tugging away at pull-ups. I feel stronger and my muscles seem bigger but I can still pull up only inches. Woke up hungry, but the work out really does quiet the drive for food.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 375 cal

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, sardine and avocado on whole wheat, chana masala, pickle, 7oz diet coke, 660 cal
Packaged chickpeas, tasted slightly sweet but no sugar on the ingredients.

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with home made dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 8pm, double quarter pounder, 16oz diet coke, 750 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2315
Woke up hungry, got good news from the scale. Was able to stick to budget, while really looking forward to eating whatever this weekend. Before this past month, Friday evenings became indulgences, good that I was able to keep it relatively tight.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:45am, kolon bloe with whole milk, 300 cal


PM SNACK: 12:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, chicken sausage, chana masala, steamed string beans, pickle, 7oz diet coke, 465 cal
Surprisingly low cal lunch, as the plate looked quite full of food.

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/cilantro/ginger juice, 140 cal

Went a little too heavy on the cilantro. Eeee. I see why people call this stuff, "lawnmower juice."

PM SNACK: 5:45pm, poppa salad with new homemade dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, grilled chicken, roasted asparagus, 7oz diet sprite, 580 cal

Also made rice and acorn squash, but just wasn't hungry enough to eat it at the time we were all sitting down.

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, Stouffer's French bread pizza, 430 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, popcorn, +/-300 cal