Eating Clean: the Disorder

I wrote about "eating clean" a little over a year ago:

I was out for brunch over the weekend, and while we were pursuing an exciting, free-form conversation stretching across too many topics to recount here,  my perfectly pleasant dining companion mentioned that she ate freely during the weekend (sounds familiar), and during the week she ate "clean".
I've heard that buzzword before on the periphery, and to be honest it raised my bullshit antenna. I casually asked, "Oh, clean? What does that mean?" Her eyes glanced down and to the side, a physical sign that she perhaps was not completely comfortable. She said something about no sugar and no flour. "Oh, carb free diet?" No, well, kinda, lean proteins and vegetables. I kind of wanted to ask more questions, but I could tell pushing it would not be gentlemanly. Fair enough, guys needling ladies about their eating habits can be creepy in the wrong context, and perhaps this afternoon was the wrong context.

I think my instinct was right -- our eating habits are very personal and subjective, and not a good topic for a 2nd (and in this case, final) date. But I do remember this lady well, she was quite impressive. She was the director of a major department at the NY Times, raising a kid on her own in a fantasy Brooklyn brownstone, and really nice on the eyes. I let the conversation about eating habits go, despite me having a lot to say on the topic, because her body language expressed discomfort, the kind of discomfort that usually doesn't lead to a third date.

This is how sexy NYT ladies dress for the office.

I've thought of her twice in the past few months. First, her department was reorganized and I saw her name in an article about it in the newspaper, which indicated she took a new role in her specialty outside of the newspaper -- maybe moving back to Cali to be closer to the baby daddy? I also thought of her this past week, when I buzzed passed this article while writing last week's entry about the licensing effect.

The idea of an eating disorder that didn't involve a loss of appetite or the desire to purge began hitting the zeitgeist a year and a half ago. The disease was called orthorexia, a term coined by Dr. Steven Bratman in 1997. "Orthorexia is defined as an unhealthy obsession with healthy food," Dr. Bratman tells Broadly. "It's not the diet that is orthorexia, it's the diet that could lead to it. The more extreme or restrictive the diet, the more likely it could lead to orthorexia."

Eat disorders are a facet of addiction, if you believe that addiction is not simply the physical craving caused by things like heroine, caffeine and alcohol. Anything that gives pleasure can be obsessed over and brought out of balance, whether than is drugs, booze, food, sex, money, gambling, whatever, pick your poison. The idea of being obsessed with something righteous and healthy is something I wrestle with -- I ride my bicycle 100+ miles a week, but as far as I can tell it is in balance with my work, family, interpersonal relationships and health. And the fact that I monitor my eating on a daily basis during the week, similar to the NY Times Clean Eating Woman (NYTCEW), am I on a spectrum? Am I on a path to orthorexia?

After coining the term, Dr. Bratman went on to publish several books about orthorexia and healthy living. Today, he has created an official scientific definition for the disease and is working on getting it published and accepted by the medical community. But Dr. Bratman was not the one to bring orthorexia to the mainstream some year and a half ago. Jordan Younger, a 25-year-old lifestyle blogger from California, was.
Younger was a devout raw vegan who had built an online following of tens of thousands by writing about veganism and her virtuous diet on her then-blog The Blonde Vegan. To Younger, veganism was the cure-all she was hoping for—no longer did she suffer from chronic indigestion or feelings of bloating and discomfort. As she preached about the benefits of a plant-based diet alongside photos of bright green smoothies, mason jars brimming with chia seeds, and chopped kale salads, the popularity of her vegan persona grew.

Cut to the chase, gradually she went more and more hardcore. All that extreme experimenting in foods that are deemed to be unquestionably healthy did a number on her.  And it is in the following graph, as they say in clickbait, she really nailed it (bolding mine):

Eventually, Younger came to understand that she had a problem. But hers wasn't a classic eating disorder that people were familiar with; hers was a fixation on the virtue of food. She introduced the term orthorexia to her following, saying that she was suffering and was going to get help. The response she got was overwhelming: "Once I started talking about experience with orthorexia on my blog and national news picked up on it, a flood of people came forward saying they identified with me," Younger tells Broadly. "We're talking tens of thousands of messages. It's been a year and a half and I haven't stopped hearing from people. It's not that number anymore; it's a couple people a day now, but it showed me how many people feel inadequate and feel that living a balanced life is not enough."

All that bad stock photography of ladies eating salad? Just make 'em frown and POOF! orthorexia.

Balance is all there is - it is an acceptance that things are not black or white, that to function we must live in a shade of gray. For example, the problem tearing the Republican Party apart is an adherence to ideology over governing, to beliefs over facts. It is reflected in out culture, nailed by Stephen Colbert as "truthiness", the feeling that something is true, regardless of reality. To believe a raw-vegan-regular-detox habit is healthy for your body, mind and planet despite the immediate evidence to the contrary is a symptom of truthiness, and definitely needs a place in medical literature. Hopefully the "Eat Clean" lobby won't interfere in that process, god knows how much good has been prevented by financial interests who politicizes things that should be simple public health concerns (hello, Big Soda & the defeat of soda taxes!)

"There is nothing wrong with eating local or being a vegetarian or vegan. I think a lot of those diets are inherently valuable. The problem is that we have moralized eating, weight, food, and exercise. Food has become presented—more and more—as the answer."

Other than a very brief and furtive make-out session with NYTCEW, there was never another opportunity to explore what she meant about "eating clean". I do admit, perhaps because of my male privilege or own obsession with food, when she avoided the conversation it was a red flag for me -- is there an issue here? Is this blog out of balance, or a tool to keep in balance?

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2836

Disappointing but not surprising high average.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2470

SLEPT: 11:30pm-6:45am, 7.25 hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, Fage with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 5pm, beef patty, chicken soup,  poppa salad with dressing, 750 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:15pm, popcorn, almond butter & chocolate syrup, +/-800

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2850

SLEPT: 8:30pm-2am,  5.5hrs

AM SNACK: 2:30 am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oats, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, sole, asparagus, momma salad, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 2:15pm, birthday cupcake, +/-200 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, Stouffers French Bread Pizzas, poppa salad with dressing, 1040 cal

HUNGER SNACK: 7:30pm, peanut butter and chocolate syrup, +/- 400 cal, hunger 9/10
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3275

SLEPT: 8:30pm-5:30am, 9 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

AM SNACK: 8:30am, bite of donut, +/- 50 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, bacon,  poppa salad with dressing, 440cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, cashews, 250 cal

DINNER: 8pm, burrito & diet coke, 925cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, ice cream, +/- 500 cal

HUNGER SNACK: 9:30pm pringles, 190 cal, hunger 8/10
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BIKE CREDIT: 1055
THURSDAY COUNT: 3025

SLEPT: 10:30pm-3am, 4.5 hours

AM SNACK: 3:45am, iced green tea, 150mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 4:45am, homemade granola bar, 320 cal

BIKE SNACK: 6:15am, homemade granola bar, 320 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, pickle, 660 cal

PM SNACK: 2:15pm, veggie straws, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, kind bar, 200 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, cheezits, 210 cal

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, homemade browmies, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 7pm, pork tenderloin, mashed potato & mushroom gravy, steam string beans, +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, home made brownies, +/- 500 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2560

SLEPT: 9:45pm-12:30am,  1:30am-7am, 8.25 hrs

BREAKFAST: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 80cal

AM SNACK: 11am, Fage with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, sardine and avocado on whole wheat toast, poppa salad, pickle, 770 cal

PM SNACK 4pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 260 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, slice of pizza, hot dog, fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal