The Joys of Midlife Crisis

The perfect storm of  "midlife crisis" and "cycling", according to Google Image....

I am white, middle-class, male and....middle aged. I am 41. I am in crisis, hear me roar, if you can compare casual self-snark to roaring, which is pretty white, middle-class and male of me.  Am I in crisis? I don't think so, you be the judge. Am I reevaluating how I've lived my life health-wise now that my beard and chest hair is going gray, my schedule is centered around my kids and I now reside outside of marketer's prime target of 18-39 year olds? Perhaps.

This morning I had a minor breakthrough. Twice a week I lift free weights at home, and part of my routine is on the pull up bar. No, not actual pull-ups, but attempts at training myself to get to the point of doing one...damn....pull up. I stand on a stool so I'm at the high position of the pull up, kick off of the stool, and try to slowly lower myself. When I started doing these "negative pull ups" a few months ago, I dropped like a stone. Today, I kicked off and....stayed at the up position for a solid 3-5 seconds and lowered myself slower than usual. Which proves....only a middle aged guy would get so excited about this kind of thing, and then blog about it.

There is nothing sweeter than the staged excitement of a generic middle aged white guy.

Here's a medically vetted definition of midlife crisis:

A period of personal emotional turmoil and coping challenges that some people encounter when they reach middle age, accompanied by a desire for change in their lives, brought on by fears and anxieties about growing older.

Or it could all be BS. I can't afford a sports car, couldn't stomach a mistress, and I think I can rule out plastic surgery after discovering "sliming".

Hey baby. Wanna ride in my luv-wagon? Don't worry, I slimed before I left home!

For me, one of the central appeals of distance cycling is the clarity of mind that comes from emptying the body of all energy. (Well, not ALL energy, thangyooverymuch.) The mind wanders, sometimes into areas unbothered up to that point. I was thinking of my parents and how they dealt with their inevitable slides into middle age.

My mom....did nothing, she continued to smoke, do no exercise, never change up her diet, spend a lot of her weekends in bed because she could. The only change she made in her later years is give up her weekend martinis, probably because she didn't enjoy the increasing after-effects. Don't get me wrong, she was a great woman and she had a great life, but she was not an example of good healthy living.

My dad had it a bit harder and had to work to retain health. He had a stroke in his early 50s, and took to a stationary bike on a regular basis to control his adult-onset diabetes. Like me, he had a sweet tooth but he never smoked, and drank as little as I do (read: rarely.) After retirement, he enjoyed going to the 14th St Y to work out to retain tone and mobility. I fully believe he had an extra 5 years of quality life because he took care of himself.

And that's what struck me on the ride. Five extra years of QUALITY life, of being mobile, relatively dependant, able to read and enjoy music, go out on the weekends with his son, etc. Not five years of lingering in a twilight state, being dependant on those around you. Quality vs. quantity. I want more of the former, even if it means shortening the later. Perhaps my dad could have started working out and cycling closer to my age and he would have had an easier time of certain things, but I can't fault him for not working hard and having a fruitful career and being there for me and my brother. But still, he had to get a serious warning before springing to action. Hopefully my serious warnings will come a bit later.

The grey is starting to creep from my beard to the sides of my hair. I saw some photos of me from last week's wedding, and was surprised to find my hair line had subtly jumped an inch back or so. My dad lost his hair a lot earlier than me, and until he became really ill and they shaved his head, he rocked that comb-over like a boss.

My hairitage

Perhaps I will perform one full pull up before the month is over? It'll be a physical feat I was never able to do in my teens, 20s or 30s. I upped my reps this morning as way of celebration -- I can now do 35 push ups, while I would max out at 10 in my teens. Ahh, the bleating of middle age. Good thing now that I got it out of my system, we can move on...into doddering old age!

THE COUNT: 2165
Can't say I ate healthy over the weekend, but I did watch the quantities. Took Edie for her first hot dog with my friend MAP -- I indulged in just one dog and tater tots instead of my regular 2, and did that kind of self-control through the weekend. Should I be eating dogs? Probably not. But I'm not blowing out my stomach, either.

AM SNACK: 7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal

BREAKFAST: 10am, fruit smoothie, 360 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm brisling sardine & avocado salad on whole wheat toast, momma salad, pickle, 7oz diet coke, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, small amount of cheese tortellini, +/- 100 cal
Edie wasn't eating her snacks, I was getting hungry....

DINNER: 6:45pm, Stouffer's French Bread pizzas, 7oz diet sprite, 860 cal
I was planning a healthier dinner, but felt run down by looking after 3 tots for a few hours.

EVENING SNACK: 9:15pm, 3 chocolate chip cookies, water, 240 cal