Caffeine: It's a hell of a drug

Soylent green is people, and caffeine is speed. DO YOU HERE ME?!?! CAFFEINE IS SPEEEEED!!!

A few years ago I wrote a lengthy piece about caffeine, and I made some pointed comments about the packet of caffeine powder I had purchased on Amazon:

I have a small 8 oz packet of caffeine. That's 16 tablespoons, 48 teaspoons, or more precisely, 228 grams. If a cup of strong coffee is 200 mg, then this packet is....1,140 cups of strong coffee. Being that 2 cups worth would probably put me on edge, and 10 cups make me lose my mind, even one single ounce of the slim packet would clearly kill me. Poison, indeed - it evolved to be a natural pesticide to defend the plants who contained it.

Though I don't drink coffee or much diet coke anymore, I greatly enjoy caffeine -- before any early morning or extended bike ride, I'll dose myself with 150mg caffeine every 3-4 hours. I know it's 150 mg because I weigh it on a highly sensitive drug scale. 150mg is about 1/2 of 1/8 of a teaspoon, depending on how tightly it's packed (pro-tip -- don't measure caffeine by volume.) My packet of caffeine comes with no warning, no clear serving size, so it's with no amount of surprise that caffeine powder made the news this past week:

24-year-old James Wade Sweatt, a newly married, recent college graduate living in Georgia, blended a drink with powdered caffeine, also purchased online. Health conscious, he reasoned that pure caffeine and water would be a healthier way to get a lift than the Diet Mountain Dew that he usually drank. He overdosed, fell into a coma and died.

Caffeine is sold in bulk as a diet supplement for body builders and the like, and is pretty much unregulated and unrestricted, probably because of it's acceptance in society through our familiarity with it in coffee and soda. Indeed, something like 17 million pounds of the stuff are imported every year for use mostly in Coca Cola and the like. (Coke needs it because the pure caffeine is violently bitter -- if you tasted the full sweetness of caffeine-free coke, your body would reject it as too sweet. Doesn't hurt that caffeine is crazy addictive, too.)

However, with some bulk supplements like various protein powders, adding a few extra scoops to your smoothie might cause a person gastric distress. A scoop of caffeine powder is, with out exaggeration, guaranteed death. If a can of coke is 35mg and a strong cup of American coffee is 130mg,  a teaspoon will probably send you to the hospital with palpitations and paranoia and a tablespoon will end you.

The Food & Drug Administration does not restrict the sale of caffeine powder, despite it clearly being both a food, a drug, and extremely lethal in relatively small quantities. I recently checked out Amazon again, and they have stopped selling loose caffeine powder -- now it comes in 200mg tablets. Let me assure you, a 200mg horse-tablet is a lot harder to mindlessly overdose on than a tiny little bump of loose powder. Why is Amazon setting the standard for food and drug safety when the FDA should have ruled on this years ago?

The head regulator of caffeine at the FDA.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 3266
Eating a lot, feeling OK. Next week this will be put on trial.

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MONDAY COUNT: 3620

SLEPT: 8pm - 4am, 8 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:30 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, steel cut oatmeal,  450 cal

LUNCH: 12:30, falafel, barley musrhoom soup, health salad, pickles, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, 2 slices of dollar streetza, +/- 400 cal

DINNER: 7pm, flounder, asparagus, poppa salad with dressing, 520 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 7:30pm, popcorn, +/- 400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, brownies, +/- 800 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 3295

SLEPT: 9:30pm- 5:45am, 8.25hrs

AM SNACK: 6 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Fage yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal  

LUNCH: 1pm, sauteed shrimp and mushrooms over poppa salad with dressing, pickles, 575 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6:30pm, kind bar, veggie straws, brownies, +/- 600 cal

DINNER: 7pm, grilled chicken breast, roasted brussel sprouts, pasta, cupcake, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, cookies, +/- 400 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2930

SLEPT: 9:30pm-3am, 5.5hrs

AM SNACK: 3:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, chicken meatballs, curry mushrooms, steamed strignbeans, pickles, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad, cashews, 510 cal

DINNER: 8pm, korean food, +/-900 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 580 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 3055

SLEPT: 10pm - 3am, 5 hr

AM SNACK: 3:30am, iced green tea, 150 mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 5am, homemade granola bar, 390 cal, 

BREAKFAST: 7:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, Fage with honey almonds vanilla,  450 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm, sauteed chicken over poppa salad with dressing, pickles, 625 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, momma salad and cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, 2 slices of streetza, ice cream, +/- 800 cal

DINNER: 8pm, steak frites, a little ice cream and cookies, +/- 900 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 3230

SLEPT: 10pm-6am, 8 hours

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm, almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, slaw, papa salad and dressing, pickles, 810 cal

PM SNACK: 2:15pm, momma salad and cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, 2 slice of streetza, +/- 400 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, small piece of peanut butter fudge, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, falafel salad, +/- 800 cal