Weigh In: Approaching the Future

204.4-->203.0-->203.6
I know, I know -- half a pound is not statistically significant, and can be explained away by simply having too much #1, #2 or bloat in my system at the moment of weighing, but still, vanity and ego. Regardless, March saw a later-than-usual kick off to my riding season due to weather, and this past week saw two good rides, leading me to assess my fitness as close to where I left off at the end of last season. No where to go but up.

Professionally and personally -- two topics I choose not to dwell on, in these here parts -- things have transformed dramatically and quickly as Spring has set in. Too complicated to say it's all "good" or "bad", but definitely interesting and points to paths for many years to come. I only bring this up because as my day-to-day evolves, so must my eating.

I must be mindful to stay mindful: just as meditation or yoga practice allows a person to dispense with the energy it takes to focus on the task at hand by repeating actions endlessly (as opposed to OCD, where the repeated actions take up ALL the energy), I see my eating and my bike riding running in parallel - I repeat meals endlessly, I repeat my weekly training ride to the same place endlessly, because it allows me to not focus on the task at hand and gives me head space to work on other things. I allow it to carry me, safe in the knowledge that what I'm putting in my body and what I'm doing to my body is good for it, and so I can worry about something else more important and even less me-focused. And I save the weekends for more adventurous riding and more adventurous eating.

I'm not going to make any changes or resolutions to my eating this month, we'll see where life takes me and reassess at the end of April.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2717
Over ate this week, birthday was a part of it. Had time off Friday, went for a long ride and found myself weirdly unhungry, guess all the over-eating was catching up with me.

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MONDAY COUNT: 3025

SLEPT: 9pm - 6:15am, 9.25hrs

AM SNACK: 6:30 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, falafel, health salad, pickle, soup, 620 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, cheezits 310 cal

DINNER: 7pm, flounder, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 685 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, popcorn, +/-400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, kind bar, 2 kids granola bars, 400 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 3020

SLEPT: 9pm- 12am, 2am - 6am, 7 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 730am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Fage with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, chicken meat balls, lentil curry, steamed stringbeans, pickle, 560

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, Stouffer's French Bread pizzas, poppa salad with dressing, 1040 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, freshly baked unfrosted cupcakes, +/- 500 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: -----

SLEPT: 9pm - 3am,  6 hrs
Birthday. Over ate. It's ok.

AM SNACK: 3:30 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BIRTHDAY SNACK: 7:45am, freshly baked homemade cake, +/- 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, grilled chicken, poppa salad with dressing,  pickle, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, cheezits 310 cal

PM SNACK: 7pm, cashews, 235 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, Korean BBQ....

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, 2 slices of homemade cake....
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THURSDAY COUNT: 3040

SLEPT: 11pm - 5am,  6 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea, homemade granola bar, 150mg caffeine, 220 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, poppa salad and dressing, sauteed shrimp and mushrooms,  600 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, Ramen, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, handful of oreos, +/- 300 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 1630 cal
FRIDAY COUNT: 1785

SLEPT: 11pm -3:30am,  4.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice,  80 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, & 150 mg caffeine, 450 cal

BIKE SNACKS: 1pm-4pm, 4 homemade granola bars, 685 cal

LUNCH: 5pm, shrimp fried rice, +/- 1000 cal

DINNER: 7pm, meatballs, flat bread pizza, 1 glass proscecco, bread and soft cheese, chocolate cake & ice cream, +/- 1200 cal

Hangry

Stock photography is magic.

My mom told me, "the best spice for dinner is hunger." No matter how good a meal is, if you are not hungry, it's just not going to be fully appreciated, and extreme hunger can make something like a leather boot or human flesh appear on the menu of edible things. The other truism my mom laid on me: "Never go food shopping hungry." All the food looks more appealing, all the quantities seem smaller, and all the prices seem slightly cheaper. Go in full with a list, stick to it, and get out. (I think there was a bit about a pile of clipped coupons from the local newspaper, but I somehow gratefully forgot about that part.)

So it is with some amusement and satisfaction that social scientists have measured and concluded in an experiment what the wisdom of my 'rents already knew, but take it one step farther:

For the study, called “Hunger Promotes Acquisition of Nonfood Objects,” marketing researchers ... asked sixty-three undergraduates not to eat for four hours. Then they treated half of them to as much cake as they fancied. All of the volunteers were subsequently presented with a three-quarter-inch binder clip from Staples, asked how much they liked it, and told to take as many more as they felt they needed. The members of the cake-deprived group were no fonder of the binder clips than their peers, but they went home with seventy per cent more. Later, Xu and her colleagues surveyed eighty-one shoppers exiting a department store, recording when and what they last ate and scanning their receipts. The researchers found, after controlling for the shoppers’ moods and the varying lengths of time they had been in the store, that the hungriest among them had spent as much as sixty per cent more than their well-fed counterparts. Hunger, Xu and her colleagues concluded, “renders acquisition-related concepts and behaviors more accessible.” In other words, the desire to grab something to eat becomes the desire to grab anything at all.

It's a common belief in nutritional science that you can over-eat and starve at the same time. If your diet solely consists of hyper-proceed food with no fruit and vegetables, it's easy to get enough calories but the lack of vitamins and other micro-nutrients will cause your body to kick into starvation mode, trying endlessly to consume more in hopes of acquiring what is lacking simply by increasing the quantity of everything. Hence, poor people balloon to outrageous obese proportions while literally starving. It's a leap, but perhaps it could be said that hyper-processed food in the US has encouraged a never-ending wasteful consumer culture.

There is a flip side to hunger and the urge for more of everything, too, though...

(Side) effects of hunger—intensified awareness, greater persistence, bolder risk assessments—...exist in humans. Like (other animals studied) people seem to behave with a profitable recklessness when hungry. 

Greater persistence and bolder risk taking? That sounds like a right-wing panacea for all that ails us. But I think these side effects are for the literal experience of hunger, not the cumulative biological effect of a lack of nutritional value. I imagine there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that if you eat a Big Mac for lunch, a Chipotle Burrito for dinner then a Grand Slam breakfast from Denny's the next morning, you will be neither hunger or feel a persistence for anything riskier than pooping and sleeping.

Well, if Stockphoto Lady can eat nothing but fast food and be hot, so can you!

My parents, being the good Jews they were, never ever let me go hungry...so I got fat. My father escaped the Holocaust when he was my daughter's age, and lived in a camp in Cuba first as a prisoner, then as a refugee. All his adult life he hoarded food and basic supplies in a pantry in the basement of the house I grew up in. I imagine he had some residual, innate fear of hunger and scarce resources that he and his family experienced as a child. My father spent most of his life hiding from hunger and shielding it from his family. 

The weekly rundown of what I eat addended to these blog posts are my attempt to run towards hunger -- a little hunger now and then will not only manage my weight, but as the scientists point out, also intensify my awareness, aid in my persistence and be bolder and less cowardly. I'm collecting a knowledge base...

Hoarding vs. Collecting
Hoarding is not the same as collecting. In general, collectors have a sense of pride about their possessions and they experience joy in displaying and talking about them. They usually keep their collection organized, feel satisfaction when adding to it, and budget their time and money.
Those who hoard usually experience embarrassment about their possessions and feel uncomfortable when others see them. They have clutter, often at the expense of livable space, feel sad or ashamed after acquiring additional items, and they are often in debt. 

I enjoy writing down what I eat, not to have a timeline of what went in my mouth, but the act makes me pause and reflect for a second in the act of writing. It helps me get hungry when our culture encourages constant satiation. Other than these essays, which can take an hour or so, the act of recording and measuring calories has become only minutes in my week, so second nature, it barely registers as clutter in my brain -- indeed, it's become a welcoming organizing principle to tune myself to my body, something that being overweight and in declining health really messes with. 

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2702
Weekly average remains stubbornly high. Next week's weigh in will determine whether I need to ring the alarm or just focus on good quality food.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2775

SLEPT: 8:30pm - 5am, 8.5hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, falafel, health salad, pickle, soup, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, rando piece of work chicken, +/- 200 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 7pm, flounder, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 685 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, popcorn, +/-400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, kind bar, 200 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2915

SLEPT: 9pm - 4:30am, 7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Cabot with honey, almonds, vanilla, 500 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, chicken meat balls, lentil curry, steamed stringbeans, pickle, 560

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, grilled pork tenderloin, roasted brussels, poppa salad with dressing, 785 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, kind bar, 4 kids granola bars, 600 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2620

SLEPT: 9pm - 3:30am,  6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 3:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, grilled pork tenderloin, roasted brussels, quinoa, pickle, 830 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, momma salad, 310 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Chipotle Burrito, poppa salad with dressing, 1080 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 655
THURSDAY COUNT: 2590

SLEPT: 10pm - 3:30am,  5.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 3:45am, iced green tea, homemade granola bar, 150mg caffeine, 220 cal

BIKE SNACK: 5:30am, homemade granola bar, 220 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Fagewith honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, poppa salad and dressing, sauteed chicken, 500 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, cashews, 235 cal

EVENING SNORT: 6:30pm, 3/4 of a pint of beer, +/-150 cal

DINNER: 8pm, Maoz falafel salad, small cup of ice cream, 3 crab rangoons, +/- 1000 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2610

SLEPT: 10pm -4:30am,  6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice,  80 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, sautéed mushrooms, poppa salad with dressing, 800 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, hotdog, fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

McDonald's Chicken Problem

McDonalds recently announced it would stop purchasing chicken raised with antibiotics. This is major because they dictate the market. What this means is while the chicken industry has been spending decades moving slowly to remove "human-important" antibiotics from their chicken, McDonalds has come in and basically said, "Bullsh@t. Our chicken needs to be anti-biotic free in 2 years and I ain't payin' for it either." While Chipotle's customer base doesn't blink when their prices go up in reaction to the commodities market (hello, guac-fee!) or miss an ingredient because the supplier isn't organic enough (goodbye, pork!), McDonald's customers are on the losing end of the increasing inequality in the US. So in a weird way, McDonalds is not only fighting for health of it's customers, it's also a defender of 99%...

McDonalds will save us all.

These little changes make a huge difference because of scale. It can't be understated that these are relatively fast tectonic moves in the food industry that touch almost everyone in this vast country. While McDonalds doesn't touch everyone, when you add Costco,  Homophobia Chicken (aka Chikfila) and other players jumping on the bandwagon they created, yeah, it kinda is touching the majority of us.

On the other hand, before you accuse me of being a weird shill or apologist for McD's...: the whole system is f*cked, just like the propaganda video above points out. I comment on this system because me and my children live in it, and noting a rare and positive move is not an endorsement. A few years ago I wrote about the relatively secretive push by McDonalds to reformulate their McMuffin to add more whole grains. McDonalds did not really advertise this because changing the recipe of a core product for reasons of health instead of taste was considered bad for business. The fact that they are making moves as big and loud as anti-biotic free chicken speaks much more to board-room panic than a newly found love of man. It's more like a newly found approach to propaganda to weaken their enemies arguments.

Removing anti-biotics from chicken increases their grow-time by 20%, increases their mortality, and requires much bigger (and humane) spaces to stay healthy, among other additional costs. Will chicken still be profitable? Yes. Will shareholder value take a hit? Yes. Should we value human health over profit? McDonalds (or any corporation) will never say "human health" -- they will ask how can we market to people's desire for health to increase profit? The depth of the evil and arrogance of someone saying "corporations are people" is just sad.

This WWII propaganda poster needs to be recontextualized  for the relationship of Big Gubbermint and Corporate Personhood.

I'm a little surprised I'm still talking about McDonalds here, but they keep literally making the news, because they are the most desperate and dangerous of things: a multi-national corporation that is losing market share hand over fist. They must seek to control the storyline in the media to create a environment in which to claw back what they once had. The intersection of food, money, health and my childhood is just too tempting to obsess over for a few entries!

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2679
Calorie count too high, but I'm not eating garbage. I think I'm going to not stress about it right now but if my weight goes up in a few weeks, I'll have to seriously reconsider the issue.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2485

SLEPT: 12pm - 7am, 7hrs

AM SNACK: 7:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, vegetarian meatballs, health salad, pickle, soup, 480 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, and cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, flounder, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 685 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, +/-400 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 3180

SLEPT: 9pm - 6am, 9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Cabot with honey, almonds, vanilla, 500 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, chicken meat balls, lentil curry, steamed stringbeans, pickle, 560

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, frozen pizza, poppa salad with dressing+/- 1020 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 7:30-10:30pm, 2 kind bars, kid granola bar, veggie straws, 630 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2250

SLEPT: 11:30pm - 5:30am,  6 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, poppa salad with dressing, sautéed chicken, pickles, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 

DINNER: 8:30pm, Chipotle Burrito, 880 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 690 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 2540

SLEPT: 9:45pm - 3:45am,  6 hrs

AM SNACK: 4am, iced green tea, homemade granola bar, 150mg caffeine, 220 cal

BIKE SNACK: 5:30am, homemade granola bar, 220 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am,Cabot with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, poppa salad and dressing, sauteed shrimp & shitakes, pickles, 520 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, vegetarian dim sum, small cup of ice cream, +/- 1100 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, kind bar, 200 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2940

SLEPT: 9pm -2am,  5 hrs

AM SNACK: 2:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice,  80 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, poppa salad with dressing, pickles, 700 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, rabbit, polenta, root veg & cream, broth, 1 glass cider, chocolate, apple crisp & ice cream, +/- 600 cal

DINNER 2: 9pm, vegetarian sticky rice, cookies, +/- 800 cal

Home Vs School Lunch: School wins.

-sigh-

Several years ago, I wrote about the idea of the government providing lunch for school children, how food is inherently political, and just having healthier food around is a good thing, even if snot-nosed little kids make a big noise about not eating it. Unfortuntately, the basic idea of the government feeding children while under their care is a partisan football. Pushing this massive public program forward towards healthier foods and more sustainable choices is a "liberal" agenda, while letting the market determine the cheapest, most business-advantageous foods be fed to children regardless of consequence seems to be the clarion call from the right.

Michelle Obama's agenda as first lady has been focused on children's obesity, because one would think no one would be in support of kids being fat. But while safe-for-business noise is made about kids exercising more, there has also been moves to make school food more centered on whole grains, fruits and vegetables, etc etc. There has been all sorts of push back, with the Secretary of Agriculture blatantly proclaiming that dietary guidelines will not consider sustainability, just "health", though we all know the health he refers to is business health over the health of the consumer. States look for exemptions from rules mandating healthier food because of claims they don't value children's health don't have enough funding, though a few cut through the politics and zero in on getting better stuff on their children's plates.

I don't care about what we can do for the environment, only what the environment can do for us.

A friend of mine recently placed her young child in his first school setting, and she had more than a little consternation about what he would be fed. Up until that point, he had a loving nanny-figure who would make him home cooked meals with a bit of care and soul, and now...Big Government grub? I understand -- packing a home lunch with care and love is probably going to be healthier than whatever a bureaucrat purchased on the commodities market for the best price possible. Well, that was my assumption, anyway...

One study, conducted in 12 elementary and intermediate schools in Houston, found that compared with what is served in school, lunches brought from home contained fewer servings of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and milk than the national program mandates.

Packed lunches also contained more desserts, chips and sweetened nondairy drinks, none of which can be served by schools that participate in the federal program. “About 90 percent of lunches from home contained desserts, snack chips, and sweetened beverages,” the study found.

A second study, conducted among pre-K and kindergarten children in four schools in rural Virginia, found that calories, fat, saturated fat and sugar were significantly higher and protein, fiber and calcium were significantly lower in lunches brought from home than in the meals served in school.

A third study examined food selection and plate waste by elementary and middle school children in four schools in an urban, low-income school district before and after introduction of the new meal standards. Juliana F. W. Cohen and co-authors found no increase in waste and a significantly greater selection and consumption of vegetables and fruits from the improved menus.

“These results suggest that the new school meal standards have improved students’ overall diet quality,” they wrote. “Legislation to weaken the standards is not warranted.”

It's  a nice thought that a parent's home lunch will always be better than a school lunch, but the facts don't bear that out. The food industry has so catered to a parent's convenience and a child's lizard-brain palate that a home lunch can become a lunchables pack, a juice box, and perhaps a bag of chips, a candy-bar like granola thing, and whatever else is convenient and "friendly". On average, the current state of a federally mandated school lunch tends to be more healthy than a typical home-packed school lunch. That's not to say that my friend's organic, balanced home lunches aren't vastly superior (or even my own whole wheat bagel, local pickle & washed cut strawberries aren't either), but she and I are not typical. 

Some foods should be "21 and over", because if you're going to eat this sh@t, you should be old enough to understand and accept the consequences.

It's a cop-out to say sex ed should be taught at home, not at schools -- the culture is such that too many parents won't do the right thing, diseases will infest the young and teen pregnancies will become a social issue. Once it affects you and me, it's not completely a personal or private issue anymore. Like sex, food is a personal, private choice certainly, but food can have grave impact on the public health, and can not be left to the vagaries of the market, or religion, or personal choice. There are valuable, vital reasons why government exists, and a superior school lunch across our great nation is one of them.

I don't want Big Government out of my kid's school lunch. I want Big Food out of my Big Government.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2975
Oof. A good but high-stress work week, not a happy number but something to consider,  finding a new balance.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2885

SLEPT: 12:30pm - 6am, 5.5hrs

AM SNACK: 6:30 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, vegetarian meatballs, health salad, pickle, soup, 480 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, and cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, flounder, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 685 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, +/-400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, children's granola bars, 400 ca

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2820

SLEPT: 9pm - 6am, 9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Cabot with honey, almonds, vanilla, 500 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, chicken meat balls, lentil curry, steamed stringbeans, 550

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, small amount of lomein, kind bar, 2 chicken nuggets, popcorn, 5 children's granola bars, +/- 1300 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2890

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6am,  8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal
Mili helped me make it as he usually does, but then he spilt it. Looked like  a crime scene. -sigh-

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, slice of pizza, sautéed chicken, pickles, 450 cal
Forgot my salad at home, ate it with dinner, -sigh-

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Chipotle Burrito, poppa salad with dressing, 1080 cal

EVENING GORGE: 9pm, kind bar, 6 kid granola bars, 800 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 3090

SLEPT: 12am - 5:45am,  5.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am,Cabot with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, poppa salad and dressing, sauteed shrimp & shitakes, pickles, 520 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, kid granola bar, 100 cal

DINNER1: 7:30pm, samomsa chat over sting beans, chocolate, tea, +/- 700 cal

DINNER2: 10pm, fresh pasta with homade sauce, kind bar, +/- 800 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 3190

SLEPT: 11:30pm -2:30am, 4am- 6am,  5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice,  80 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, poppa salad with dressing, pickles, 700 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, hot dog, fries, ice cream +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, frozen pizza, 800 cal

Weigh In: F-U, cold, I'm my own man.

206.2-->204.4-->203.0

Three pounds over two months sounds a bit small-time and petty, but thats the thing: real and sustained weight loss is a slow, unsexy battle. Still 13 lbs away from my low a year ago, and -snort- 51 lbs from having a "normal" BMI (but only 9 lbs from going from "obese" to "overweight") (BMI is kinda suspiciously overly simple.) I could say here that last month was trying, and some bummer times caused me to lose my appetite (bad), and the last few weeks saw some relief from that but saw my appetite come back very strong (also bad). I guess I could focus on the negative, that I'm having a hard time keeping a consistent diet, calorie-wise. 

But. Bottom line is I feel physically good despite almost no bike riding these past two months, and during record cold times when most people gain weight, I pushed the needle a reasonable, healthy amount to the left.

Not going to dissect what I did right/wrong or micro-goals for the month, life is still a bit too chaotic. However I will note that my weekend eating has never been better, less going-for-it to get in things I denied myself during the week. Though that sounds like a tossed-off line, in reality that means literally 100s, if not 1000s of calories less per week for my system to handle. That would help explain  a continued moderate weight loss, despite being a few hundred calories over my daily budget pretty much every day...
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2611
A meh eating week, 3 of the five days reasonable, two not.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2510

SLEPT: 11pm - 6:30am, 7.5hrs
Nice to have an evening gorge that surprisingly did not blow the doors off the budget.

AM SNACK: 6:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:15am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, falafel, health salad, pickle, soup, momma salad, and cheezits, 910 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, flounder, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 685 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:30pm, popcorn, +/-400 cal

EVENING GORGE: 7:30-10pm, kind bar, cookies, 2 children's granola bars, 725 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: ----

SLEPT: 11:30pm - 5:30am, 6 hrs
Dentistry in the evening messed me up.

AM SNACK: 6:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, chicken meat balls, lentil curry, steamed stringbeans, 550

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 7pm, ice cream, kind bar, frozen pizzas, ----
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2500

SLEPT: 9pm - 6am,  9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Cabot with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, poppa salad with dressing and sautéed chicken, pickles, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Chipotle Burrito, 880 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, kind bar, 200 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2545

SLEPT: 10:30pm - 5:30am,  7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, poppa salad and dressing, sauteed shrimp, pickles, 425 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, kind bar, 200 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, steak sandwich, fries, meat balls, chocolate cake, water, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, peanut butter and chocolate syrup, +/- 200 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2890

SLEPT: 11pm - 5:30am,  6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice,  80 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Cabot with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, poppa salad with dressing, pickles, 700 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:15pm, sweet & sour soup, shrimp in oyster sauce, white rice, summer roll, tea, +/- 500 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, tarte tartine & vanilla ice cream, +/- 800 cal

Chipotle, considered

The Generation Y Big Mac

The NY Times has had the blogosphere pinging this past week with a look at just how many calories you eat when you eat Chipotle. Chipotle is what I referred to last week as the "New McDonald's", a "fast-casual" restaurant chain that serves up Mexican-influenced food that is easily customizable and supposedly healthier than the old "fast-food" McDonald's. With a close look at exactly what people are eating, the number of calories consumed at Chipotle are really not that different than what people were eating at McDonald's.

You can be cynical and just mutter 'Murica! under your breath, and assume fat-asses will get their fat-ass calories no matter what, whether wrapped in an image of the Hamburglar or lubricated with the sheen of "food with integrity™". One fully-loaded Chipotle Burrito packs the caloric and salt punch of two Big Macs. I only had my first Chipotle Burrito last Spring and was kind of surprised how heavy it was, but also was surprised how much I liked it.

'Murica.

It's been NYC law for a while that all chains with over 10 or so locations must post calorie counts, and this law is being rolled out nationally. (Thanks, Obama!) While McDonald's is pretty cut and dry with everything being the same anywhere, with Chipotle everything is customized so each item displays a range of calories. Being all modern and with-it, Chipotle has a user-friendly on-line nutrition calculator that takes the mystery out of it. According to the research, a typical burrito is over 1000 cal, and once soda, chips and guac are added, can easily double for almost an entire day's budget of calories. 

Personally, I skip cheese, rice and sour cream but always go for the guacamole, and my burrito is just under 900 calories, which for me is a very large meal. I match it with a homemade 2/3 pounds of big green salad (200 cal) after a day of light eating to stay somewhere near my calorie budget. For years, McDonald's big defense of their explosively fattening food is that it was "a healthy part of a balanced diet", failing to really define or advise on what that meant, leaving it in the laps of the individual. In this day and age, finally we are being given the information needed to individually tease that out.

Still, it's the new McDonald's. It can be brushed away as cynicism that this is just more of the same, but there is an edge of truth to it. Convenience as a tent pole is an American value that blurs what we are actually sacrificing.  Cheap food at the expense of our planet is another blurry tent pole, but I have to give credit to Chipotle for starting to alter the landscape of massive meat producers in the US by pushing back on ethical and environmental standards -- when the chain goes ahead and pulls an in ingredient due to lack of availability of a meat due to a major producer not meeting their standards, it makes the news (and yes, good publicity for the type of consumers to whom it matters.) I'm wary of corporations gaming the media to produce positive thoughts to maximize profits, but at the same time the ideal of free-market capitalism is that if there is enough left-wing pinko commies in the market place who want to eat, supposedly the market will start to reflect that. It's just the cheating, stealing and profit-at-all-cost ideology built into corporatism that makes me very uneasy.

Actually, McDonald's is becoming the "New McDonald's" with an international interior/exterior design facelift and a new system of customizing burgers. It's kinda....sad.

When I first started looking at seriously changing my eating permanently to permanently change my weight, I indulged in McDonald's once a week during the week as an emotional sop and release. That soon was replaced by Subway's veggie burger, just as convenient but marginally healthier. I'm finding that once-a-week habit now being replaced by Chipotle, though the shear number of calories makes it an uneasy fit. Gosh, I may have to stop being so lock step and maybe mix it up week to week to suit my needs of moderation on the fly! Now wouldn't that be something. Something in my head is whispering perhaps this is an interesting path to walk down.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2817
Dramatic week, not as hard as past months, finding my appetite coming back with a vengance. I guess that's a blessing and a curse.

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MONDAY COUNT: 3345

SLEPT: 10:30pm - 7am, 8.5hrs
Ironically, because of feeling better than I have in a while, my hunger came back with a vengeance.

AM SNACK: 9 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:15am, Fage  with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, momma salad, cheezits 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, poppa salad with dressing, 200 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, cashews, 340 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, flounder, asparagus,  485 cal
1945

EVENING SNACK: 6:30pm, popcorn, +/-400 cal

VARIOUS SNACKS: 7:30-8:30pm, peanut butter and chocolate syrup, chocolate chips, crackers and cheese, +/- 1000 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2565

SLEPT: 11pm - 7am, 8 hrs

AM SNACK: 7:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, mussels and fresh pasta in wine & olive oil, 1 donut, herbal tea, +/- 700 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310cal

DINNER: 6pm, sautéed chicken breast over poppa salad with dressing, pickles,  445 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, cashews and chocolate chips, +/- 600 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2755

SLEPT: 11pm - 7am,  8 hrs

AM SNACK: 7:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Fage with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 255 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Chipotle Burrito, poppa salad with dressing, 1080 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, cashews and chocolate chips, +/- 500 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2870

SLEPT: 11pm - 6:45am,  7.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 7 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, pickles, 610 cal

PM SNACK: 7pm, momma salad, cheezits, 3100 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, Souffers French Bread Pizzas, 840 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, chocolate chips and cashews, +/- 500 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2550

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6am,  8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:30am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice,  80 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:15am, Fage with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, poppa salad with dressing and sautéed chicken, pickles, 420 cal

DINNER 1: 5:45pm, hot dog and fries, ice cream, +/- 800 cal

DINNER 2: 8:15pm, ramen, shumai, +/- 900 cal

McDonalds, reconsidered

I don't mind minimum wage, I get paid in lovin'.

I was born at the dawn of the 1970s, a time when restaurants served only a fraction of the food we consume. McDonalds, one of the early fast food franchises, blossomed while others stayed in place or withered. Millions and millions, then billions and billions, then trillions were served. 

I have fond memories of my parents taking me there on rare occasion, maybe once every other month. It wasn't any more or less healthy than it is now, but it was more expensive -- smaller portions for proportionally more money than today. For me, it was tasty and exciting and different. I assume for them, it was easy and convenient and the kids wouldn't complain. As a pre-teen on my very first "long distance" bike ride to the mall, I rewarded myself with a McD's chocolate shake. As a teenager, I remember going to a McD's with my mom super early in the morning and getting my first McMuffin, right before we got on a bus to DC to protest for a woman's right to abortion.

I remember when a man was a man, a woman was a woman, and a McMuffin was an environmental nightmare.

I have very personal associations with this restaurant whose food has basically been exactly the same all these years. Sure, the portions are bigger and the menu has expanded exponentially, but a McDonald's plain Quarter Pounder is exactly the same burger I ate as a 7 year old. Not only that, but where ever I go in the world, that Quarter Pounder is ALSO the same burger I ate as a 7 year old. Just from a logistics and consistency perspective, it's clear why McD's has a reputation in the business as a true goliath and legend.

Over the past 5 years or so, McD's business hasn't been doing too well. Increased competition from newer chains of fast and "fast-casual" joints are catering to the tastes of the younger generations who indulge in fast food. Better ingredients, ethically sourced, customized --  all sorts of burger chains are nibbling at their core business, and a burrito joint of all things is the McDonalds of 2015.

Oh, OK,  integrity in food is trademarked. Everyone go home!

I've written here before about the laughable attempts of McDonalds to try to demystify the quality of their food, and their status as a legacy brand that may be on the way out. Regardless, I've continued to occasionally eat at the place, usually at the insistence of the love of McMuffins from my eldest child. It's kid food, just as I remember it from the warm fuzzy days of my own childhood. That association is a bright Golden God, and one that marketers depend on. 

I try not to overthink it -- feeding my children nutritionally suspicious food, OK, but it's not every day or even every week. I try not to think of the eating habits I'm passing on to my kids -- they know this is just special-time food, right? I try not to think of the rain forests in Brazil bulldozed to allow grazing for cheap beef to feed an international commodity supply chain -- that's so far away and out of view. I try not think of how McDonalds has dominated food deserts and highway rest stops since I was born in the early 1970s -- it's just a good business model that has grown because people like it, not because it leverages money and power to push out potentially better options, right?

It's shockingly easy to push a lot of fraught thought aside to the altar of the warm-fuzzy nolstalgic love of my deceased parents. My parents have been gone for nearly a decade, but as I leave behind childish thinking that doesn't serve me well as a grown-ass man, my relationship with them has only become more complicated. 

So in that light,  what if I went into a McDonalds, ordered some food for me and my kids, and then was asked by the counter person to ring up my dead mom in exchange for a free meal?

A new marketing blitz from McDonalds has kicked off with the Superbowl a few weeks ago. It involves a game where random customers are asked to pay with random "loving" acts in exchange for not have to pay with money. 

My first reaction was: those poor saps who have to work at McDonalds and now have to deal with this sh#t.

This is a pretty blatant example of emotional labor: the requirement that a low-wage employee not just show up to work and adequately perform her duties, but that she put on a veneer of happiness and cheer for the customer to elicit an emotional response in him. For example, in 2013 Pret A Manger put up on its website (and then subsequently took down) expected “behaviours” its employees were supposed to exhibit, like creating a “sense of fun” and appearing “genuinely friendly.” The ones it wouldn’t allow, on the other hand, were bad moods and acting like they were “just here for the money.” Because ordering a sandwich is now supposed to be a delightful experience, and of course a low-wage clerk is at work for something other than a paycheck.
This is what’s pernicious about emotional labor: it requires poorly paid people to slather a smile onto their face and cover up the real conditions under which they labor. 

My second reaction was a lot more personal: those marketing suits are trying to create warm, fuzzy memories and associations that had happened naturally between me and my parents. So for the unsuspecting, unaware customers who are brought into this interaction, the parents (while maybe the subject) are not the actors creating a relationship with you -- it is the corporate brand becoming the one feeding you and loving you. It is the underlying relationship with my own parents that has had me get comfortable with eating McDonalds, and importantly for the marketers, it is this underlying relationship that has brought me to recreating it with my own children.

McDonalds is not people, it is a corporation. And as it suffers at the hand of a free market and generational shift, it becomes the most dangerous thing -- a corporation, a being without morals or ethics, that will do anything to preserve and expand it's profits. They're willing to fatten, exploit and consume me, and my children, but they will not manipulate the love between me and my parents, or as a parent, me and my children.

Though my kids don't know it yet, I am boycotting McDonalds until this marketing campaign is over. If my kids forget about McMuffins and happy meals by the time it is over, so be it. My parent's love is stronger than corporate love.

Actually, they're all the Hamburglar.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2510
Life is still pretty ugh, but the ground work is being laid for a much happier Spring. Test bike ride on Tuesday through the slush to Coney Island was a slow slog, but laying roots is never as sexy as a flower in full blossom.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2620

SLEPT: 10:30pm - 6am, 7.5hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Cabot Greek with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

PM SNACK: 1:45pm, momma salad, cheezits 310 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, mahi, mani, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, popcorn, +/-400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, kind bar, 200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, 2 kids granola bars, almond butter & chocolate syrup, +/- 400 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 600 cal
TUESDAY COUNT: 2495

SLEPT: 10pm - 6am, 8 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea


BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310cal

BIKE SNACK 1: 2:30pm, homemade granola bar, 215 cal

BIKE SNACK 2: 4pm, homemade granola bar, 260 cal

DINNER pt 1: 6pm, poppa salad with dressing, 200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:45pm, veggie straws, 260 cal

DINNER pt 2: 7pm, Stouffer's French Bread pizzas, 840 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 7:30-8:30pm, kind bar, 2 kids granola bars, 2\400 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2305

SLEPT: 9am - 6am,  9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, Cabot Greek with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, cashews, 255 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Chipotle Burrito, poppa salad with dressing, 1080 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2520

SLEPT: 10:30pm - 6am,  7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15 am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, slice of pizza, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, faux-chicken parm, faux-roti canai, +/- 700 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:15pm, chocolate cake, +/- 600 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2610

SLEPT: 1am - 6:30am,  5.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice,  80 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30am, fruit smoothie, 500 cal

PM SNACK: 3:45pm, momma salad, cheezits, 320 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with dressing, apple pie, 560 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, falafal salad thing from Maoz, +/- 500 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, vegan brownie, +/- 400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, ice cream, 250 cal