Reckoning

206.8-->207.0-->214
Well, this is a reckoning. This past month has been firing on all cylinders - work and money, women and relationships, children and family, friends and loved ones, all have been going really well. But upon reflection, a new imbalance has emerged. I recently got a cat to keep me company at home, as I've been working from home pretty constantly since June. (Sure, it was a gift and a companion to my kids but get real, it's for me.) The numbers at the end of the month indicate that December was successful, and I really have been enjoying my work....but there is a cost. Looking back over my food diaries, I've been indulging in more sweets, more restaurant foods and less good stuff as a way of stress management. I guess "stress" is usually looked at as a bad thing, but the kind of work stress I've been undergoing this past month has been the best kind -- the kind that makes you challenge yourself and results in surprises of what you can actually do.

But bottom line -- it was more calories in, less calories out. I expected the weather to get colder, and work made it easy to schedule less bike rides, allowing me not to sacrifice any time with my kids. Thanks to the WARMEST DECEMBER EVER, I could have extended my ride season but ended up being pretty physically complacent. Clothes don't lie -- I wore a suit last night and while it wasn't ridiculous, it clearly said "OH HELL TO THE NO" as I got it on.

I've done this before. I've been here. But it's different now: I'm not lost in a fuzzy cloud and life is good. Starting right now (and not next week or next month), I'm increasing my vegetable intake, both raw and cooked. I'm bringing back weight lifting once or twice a week. I'm decreasing my sweets and restaurants during the week. I won't be recording or posting during the next week -- I'll take this as an opportunity to shift gears without over-thinking it, just see how it makes me feel, and return to obsessively writing down my sleep, eats and random reactions to food-related media in the new year.

To my 2.5 readers, happy new year and thanks!

WEEKLY AVERAGE: ...

Too distracted.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2600

SLEPT: 10:30pm - 5:30am, 7 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2 : 11:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, beef patty, momma salad, chicken soup, pickles 640 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, grouper, asparagus, poppa salad with dressing, 750 cal

EVENIGN SNACK: 7pm, popcorn, pocky, +/- 600 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 3090

SLEPT: 9:30pm-3:45am,  6.25hrs

AM SNACK: 4am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, Greek yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla,  450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, steamed string beans, lentil curry, chicken meatballs, pickles,  680 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, shwarma platter, ice cream, +/- 1000cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, pocky, rice crisps & milk, one brownie, +/-600 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3060

SLEPT: 9pm-2:30am, 5.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2:15pm, bacon, poppa salad with dressing,  440 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, cashews, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, streetza, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, Chipotle Burrito, ice cream, +/- 1200 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 3090

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:30am, 8hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

AM SNACK: 9:30am, pickle, a small piece of brie, 50 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, 3 meatballs, +/-450 cal
Just baked off a bunch, had to make sure they were done...

LUNCH: 2:45pm, poppa salad with dressing and veggie straws, 330 cal

DINNER: 5pm, chinese brick, ice cream, +/- 1500 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 9pm, pocky, pringles, 400 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: x

SLEPT: 10:30pm-5am, 6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

...

Nigella vs Clean Eating

Guy Fieri's inner child.

When I went to culinary school around 2008, the idea of the celebrity chef still felt relatively new and exciting; the Food Network was hitting it's stride. Unfortunately, most of these celebrity chefs seem to be celebrities first and chefs second. Big personalities who could burble about food are great for housewives (and househusbands) and shut-ins, but none seemed to speak to us, ye mighty culinary students.

Rachel Ray is more of a morning host, Sandra Lee more of a home maker, Gordon Ramsay more of a Trump-like a-hole,  Paula Deen more of a hostess, and Guy Fieri, more of a douche's douche. But there was one who spoke to us: Anthony Bourdain.  Not only was he an old crusty kitchen-dog who had credit from a long established place in NYC, he had a big NYC mouth which would freely rag on each and every other celebrity so-called chef. As a an indiscreet culinary student looking for someone to be MY champion, Anthony was the man. And rather than focus on being a personality making comfort food, he seemed to indulge his own drive by making his shows about traveling the world and eating everywhere and anything, and not just because it was weird or disgusting, but because it was good on it's own level.

Anthony loves the cock.

But that was then, and this is now. I don't cook in restaurants or run a knish business anymore, and my thoughts on food have less to do with the popular celebrity driven media and more with concerns for me and my children's health. So it was with some amusement when I caught this piece come in over the wire this week:

Nigella Lawson is not down with the clean eating trend. The British chef and author, famous for such decadent recipes as her Chocolate Guinness Cake, does not mince words when it comes to the healthy eating craze. At the JW3 Speaker Series in London earlier this week, Lawson said, “People are using certain diets as a way to hide an eating disorder or a great sense of unhappiness and unease with their own body.”
Lawson continued: “There is a way in which food is used either to self congratulate — you’re a better person because you’re eating like that — or to self-persecute, because you’ll not allow yourself to eat the foods you want.” According to People, this isn’t the first time she’s criticized the lifestyle. In October, she told the BBC she thinks “the notion of ‘clean eating’ is an implication that any other form of eating is dirty or shameful.”

Lawson herself has had experience with eating disorders earlier in her life, and has made it through. Her mother also dealt with these issues. For her to call it out so clearly is not a common thing, as everyone is trying to make a buck and there is a hesitance to criticize a fellow traveller. Bourdain doesn't seem to give a f@ck because that's part of his shtick, but Lawson has less to gain from placing herself in this firing line. Except maybe for a sense of duty to help those suffering, as her mother did and how I'm certain she does not want her own children to suffer.

Mmmm muffins.

I've been close to people who have extreme diets by conventional standards -- some have said I am extreme myself by virtue of keeping a food diary and counting calories. But I've seem to be puzzling a difference out that puts people into two groups. One group rigorously thinks about their food and acts on evidence both personal and from the ideology we choose to subscribe, and the other group just kinda "feels" like how they eat is the right way, taking a little bit of this and a little bit of that but not really having the time, energy or thoughtfulness to see it through.

So many vegetarians who eat chicken and fish. So many vegans who make exceptions for dessert. So many people who make themselves less healthy and refuse to credit their diets. This is where "clean eating" falls, and the emotional charge of rewarding/punishing yourself by way of your diet is the dominant guiding light. Diet should be a part of your self-worth, because food is wonderful and it fuels us. And that's where it ends. Thank you Nigella for calling out some the BS that the last decade or so's obsession with food has helped to develop.

Eating, disordered.

WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2798

Intense week, for the best of reasons, but didn't get a ride in due to technical, weather and work factors.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2360

SLEPT: 10pm - 5am, 7 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 11am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2 : 1:45pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal


LUNCH: 3pm, beef patty, momma salad, tomato soup, pickles 550 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, 2 vegetable samosas with chickpeas,  poppa salad with dressing, banana bread, +/- 1200 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2780

SLEPT: 8:45pm-4am,  6.25hrs

AM SNACK: 4:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, Greek yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla,  450 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, scrod, asparagus, poppa salad with dressing, 750 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, veggie straws,  230 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, veg dim sum, ice cream, +/- 1000cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, pocky, 190 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3090

SLEPT: 9pm-5am, 8 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

AM SNACK: 7am, small piece of c-chip banana bread, +/- 100 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:15am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, steamed string beans, lentil curry, chicken meatballs, pickles,  680 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, streetza, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 8pm, shoyu ramen with extra noodles, gyoza, mocha, sake, +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, pocki, 190 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2250

SLEPT: 10:30pm-5am, 6.5hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, sautéed shrimp & mushrooms in oyster sauce and poppa salad with dressing, 670 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, pocky, 190 cal

DINNER: 6pm, falafel platter, mousaka, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 3210

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5am, 7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea


BREAKFAST 1: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, beef patty, tomato soup, poppa salad with dressing, 600 cal

DINNER 1: 5:30pm,streetza, ice cream, +/- 800 cal

DINNER 2: 9:30pm, chicken shnitzel, brocollini, mushroom & pepper, whiskey, wine & song, +/- 1200 cal

Survey Says: Don't trust yo gut

Actually, don't.

My line of thinking about my recording-habits have lead me to explore whether it could be a symptom of an eating disorder. When you don't really pay attention or think straight, it's easy to fall into vague, feel-good so-called diets like "eating clean" or if you think damn too much, it's possible to pick up a specific obsession with healthy eating, orthorexia. Both involve a kind of mindfulness, one is fuzzy and deceptive, and the other is out of balance to the rest of your life. One could argue that maybe NOT thinking (or counting) about your food is the way to go.

"Intuitive eating" is "an approach that de-emphasizes dieting in favor of attending to bodily signals, like feelings of hunger and, more important, fullness." Basically, it's what yo momma taught you when you were a tot -- eat when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty, and stop eating and stop drinking when you've had enough. So, what do you think happened when it was put to the test?

Well, in a controlled study, one population was told to just eat until your full, and the other group was tasked with counting the calories.

The intuitive eaters began well, according to Anglin, losing slightly more weight during the first three weeks, on average, than the calorie cutters. But then their discipline, luck or bodily self-awareness apparently deserted them, and most began regaining weight. At the end of the six weeks, few had lost much weight and some had a net gain of nearly two pounds.

Discipline, luck and self-awareness are all toothpicks compared to the oak tree of our physiological drives to gain and store as much energy as possible in case a coming famine threatens our survival. Our hunger and biological signals are all set to that oak, not to the toothpicks we stand up to it. So basically this is an argument FOR calorie counting.

And then he ate the sign, for fiber.

Calorie counting not nuts, it's the only sure way to counter act our innate drive to get fat, from a time when maximizing consumption meant the greatest likelihood of survival. Now that it means an ever-increasing chance of obesity and mortality, our bodies just can't evolve fast enough. Big Food has caught on to this drive to sell us ever-more regardless of the effect on our waist lines. Anti-government yahoos refuse to assign responsibility to anyone except the individual. So unless you start voting differently and enable some things like soda-taxes and stricter nutrition guidelines on all food,  it's on you and your children to do more than intuitively eat, because the combination of our fat-for-survival drive and Big Food profit-for-survival drive aren't going away any time soon.

WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2967

Three grand seems to be my comfortable spot. I wonder if my weight will remain steady this month.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2610

SLEPT: 11pm - 6:45am, 7.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2 : 11:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, beef patty, momma salad, 430 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, chocolate bar, 420 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, lemon sole, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 750 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 7:15pm, popcorn,  +/-400

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TUESDAY COUNT: 3170

SLEPT: 8:45pm-3am,  5.25hrs

AM SNACK: 3:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, Greek yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla,  450 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws,  330 cal

DINNER: 6pm, shrimp lomeain, pork dumplings, +/- 1200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:45pm, ice cream, +/- 800 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3215

SLEPT: 8:30pm-4:15am, 7.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:30am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 2pm,steamed string beans, lentil curry, chicken meatballs, pickles,  680 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 8pm, chipotle burrito, ice cream, diet coke, 1425

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, pringles, 190 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2980

SLEPT: 10pm-3:30am, 5.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, steel cut oatmeal 450 cal

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, bacon and poppa salad with dressing, 440 cal

PM SNACK: 3:45pm, slice of streetza, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, burger, fries, dessert, 1 beer, +/- 1400 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 1570
FRIDAY COUNT:2860

SLEPT: 9pm-2am, 3:45am-6am, 7.25 hrs

AM SNACK: 7:25am, half the usual juice, 80 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 9:15am, Greek yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla,  450 cal

BIKE SNACK: 11:30am, homemade granola bar, 300 cal

BIKE SNACK: 12:30pm, brownie, +/- 400 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2pm, streetza and diet coke, +/- 300 cal

PM SNACK: 3:45pm, pint of chocolate milk, 500 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, fried fish, fries, ice cream, +/- 1500 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 7:30pm, chocolate, bowl of cornflakes & milk, +/- 900 cal

Climate Change and Your Food

Why have separate magazine about food and guns when you can get it all under one cover?

There are some international climate conferences happening right now, but they've been a little overshadowed with the daily murder and mayhem caused by the climate denier's other hobby, the denial of sane gun laws. With the immediate urgency of the terror of recent mass shootings in the US and abroad, it would be tempting to think that climate change is a slower-moving problem that can be back-burnered until some of this gun-stuff gets worked out. Problem is, evidence is growing that it is not.

I've been enjoying some milder winters these past few years, despite the increasingly less-odd massive snow storms and violent hurricanes. This year's bike season went straight up to mid November, while in past years I had to down shift as early as mid-October, and I expect there might be some rideable days towards the end of February. While my personal hobby of riding a bicycle might be affected for the better, our whole damn food system depends on 10s of 1000s of years of constant climate to feed ourselves and the world.

Farmers in (Vermont) used to count on being able to plant corn in May, she says. But weather patterns are shifting. The month of May is now typically cold and wet, "so they're really not able to plant their corn until the middle of June. That delays its harvest. And then we might have an early frost."
The result is less corn for Vermont's cows, and less local milk for the state's dairies. "It really changes the economic structure of how dairy products are produced in Vermont," Brown says.

Climate change will not kill us with super heat or extreme cold (at least not at first), or even super-storms or mounds of snow. It will kill us by food and water scarcity. And if the lack of food and water doesn't get you, the social upheaval might. Even worse, the bleeding edge of crop disasters could possibly start with the primary growers of cocoa in Africa might see their crop. I foresee myself and a massive of pre-menstrual ladies rioting.

NO CHOCOLATE?!?

And once the cocoa and corn yields are suffering, so goes Big Food.

Some of these are major companies in Republican states, and they're standing up and saying we need a strong deal," Kelly says. "This has never happened before."
Parkin of Mars says the food industry will be instrumental in fighting climate change. "What those companies are doing is coming together to encourage governments, basically saying to government, 'We need you to make similar commitments,' " he says.

Republicans deny climate change and avoid sane gun control because it is in their financial interests to do so. However, it is in their financial master's interest to do something about climate change. Too bad their currently isn't similar financial incentive to protect innocent lives from random gun violence.

WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2973

Oy, too high. If I don't gain weight this month, it'll be a Christmas miracle. Or I can just nut-up and be more mindful next week.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2840

SLEPT: 9pm-11pm, midnight-5am, 7 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 7:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2 : 9:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, 580 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, lemon sole, asparagus,  poppa salad with dressing, 750 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 7:15pm, popcorn, peanut butter pretzels, 2 kids granola bars +/-900

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2970

SLEPT: 9pm-5am,  8hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal


BREAKFAST 2: 11am, fruit smoothie,  450 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, lentil curry, pickles, 650 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with dressing, 200 cal

DINNER: 6pm, vegetarian dim sum, ice cream, +/- 1200 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3335

SLEPT: 9pm-4:45am, 7.75 hrs
Couldn't sleep, the late night eating wasn't so much from hunger but the emotional reaction to the shooting in California.

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal


BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am, Greek yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, Chinese greens, pork meatballs, chicken ramen, water, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 8pm, chipotle burrito, ice cream, diet coke, 1425

EVENING SNACK: 11:30pm, bowl of cornflakes and milk, handful of animal crackers, +/- 400 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 3100

SLEPT: 12:30pm-5:30am, 5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, bacon and poppa salad with dressing, 440 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, cashews, 340 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, shrimp dumplings, chicken starry with rice, water, cookies, +/- 1400 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 630
FRIDAY COUNT: 2620

SLEPT: 11:30pm-4:30am, 5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:00am, 150 mg caffeine, water

BIKE SNACK: 6:15am, homemade granola bar, 290 cal

AM SNACK: 8:15am, snippet of wholewheat bagel and cream cheese, small apple juice, +/- 100 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:15am, Greek yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm,sautéed chicken and mushrooms, and poppa salad with dressing, 750 cal

PM SNACK: 3m,freshly baked chocolate chip banana bread, +/-500 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, hot dog, fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal