Weigh In: Google ate my homework

Well, that sucks. Google ate my post, or maybe I saved over it with the scrap of notes for this upcoming week's post.

To summarize:

I lost 5 lbs in April. I suspect it may be due to increased metabolism caused by extra cycling, eating more during the week while less on the weekend, satisfaction from being forced to mix up my lockstep food routine due to my gas being turned off all month, warmer weather and a little less stress in life. 

There were a bunch of jokes and funny photos stuffed in there, really uplifting and bubbly and you would have really enjoyed reading it. THANKS OBAMA!

Butter, the OG Cookin' Fat

Buttah faweva.

There was a time, a year or two before Culinary School and several years before the health scare that would get me serious about my weight, that I got serious in the kitchen. I was gaging how creative I could get and how good I could make food using my wits and limited skills. My first pizzas were laughably misshapen...but good. My first ice cream was shockingly good - good enough to regularly replace the Hagen Jerry's in my freezer. Risotto with homemade stock seemed like it was beamed down from another planet, made by an alternate me who actually had some skill.  Confidence, decisiveness and opinions started to accumulate in my approach to the utilitarian art of cookin'.

I quickly figured out, based on the cook books I selected (high end and simple), that you can get as fancy and complicated as you want, but outside of some trickery and specific cuisines from 2nd and 3rd world countries, your food will only be as good as your ingredients. Making chicken stock from scratch was the first big revelation, and making super-concentrated vanilla extract from the pricey spent beans of the ice cream was another. The third revelation was butter.

Actually, I totally believe it.

My parents were margarine people. It was cheaper than butter, it supposedly was better for you than butter, it seemed more modern, and most importantly, it was cheaper. I never really gave much thought to my fats and oils; I usually had a bottle of vegetable or canola oil lying around, and the solid stuff was whatever was on sale (like parent, like son.) So it was with a little trepidation that I went down to Whole Paycheck and bought a tub of oddly yellow-green organic grass-fed hormone-free, humanly raised high-fat-content happy hippy butter.

Now this is a butter I can believe in.

The color was from the grass, plant matter and insects the cows ate. The price was due to the small-batch nature of the production and the high cost of moving away from commodity grains, commodity livestock and the long shelf life of pasteurization. And the flavor was....buttery.

And I don't write that with irony, sarcasm or any other modern sheen of detachment and distance. The flavor wasn't like butter, it wasn't a simulacrum of what we think butter should taste like, it was straight-up OG buttah. It tasted different than the cheap sticks I had experienced up to that point, and definitely different than margarine and "buttery topping" served in movie theaters. It was both a new flavor, and also a comforting familiar flavor. It was like I've been hearing a Pat Boone or Elvis cover version all my life, and all of a sudden I hear the original deep-R&B version....on a Jamaican dance hall sound system, with the bass turned up to "involuntary rump shaking".

Hey! It's the Law & Order dude!

Soon after, I started exploring the slightly fermented "cultured" European butters, as well as beef tallow, chicken fat, weird nut oils, and later as my palate developed, the two staples of my daily cooking: different shades of extra virgin olive oil and coconut oil. It was in culinary school I learned to take cheap butter and either brown it, clarify it or turn it into ghee, rare riffs that take a meh ingredient and improve it through technique.

And to pop popcorn in a heavy-lidded pan at just the right high heat in 100% butter, so the proteins in the butter  browns just a little and gives a rich butteriness to every bite...oh myyyy, that's why butter and popcorn go hand in hand. Butter should never ever be an additional, extraneous, greasy topping, only a pure, flavorful cooking medium when it comes to popcorn.

George approves.

So it was with more than a little chagrin that I read the recent news reports that "butter is back" -- bitchez, butter has been back for me for the past 10 years! Any flavor that is so wonderful and does not grow tired after lengthy regular consumption is one signpost that the body digs it. Note I say flavor, not feeling or reaction, but straight up FLAVAH. This is not an addiction like sugar, caffeine or alcohol, but pardon my hippy dippyness,  an honest vibration.

That the worm is turning became increasingly evident a couple of weeks ago, when a meta-analysis published in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine found that there’s just no evidence to support the notion that saturated fat increases the risk of heart disease. (In fact, there’s some evidence that a lack of saturated fat may be damaging.) The researchers looked at 72 different studies and, as usual, said more work — including more clinical studies — is needed. For sure. But the days of skinless chicken breasts and tubs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter may finally be drawing to a close.
The tip of this iceberg has been visible for years, and we’re finally beginning to see the base. Of course, no study is perfect and few are definitive. But the real villains in our diet — sugar and ultra-processed foods — are becoming increasingly apparent. You can go back to eating butter, if you haven’t already.

Bittman goes on to beat on the same bogymen I've previously pasted in this blog (Snackwells! Candy disguised as yogurt!) but after several more paragraphs,  runs into the same wall I keep bumping up in my quest to answer why our national health and nutrition is so bass-awkward: capitalism & industry.

Although the whole “avoid saturated fat” thing came about largely because regulators were too timid to recommend that we “eat less meat,” meat in itself isn’t “bad”; it’s about quantity and quality. So at this juncture it would be natural for a person who does not read volumes of material about agriculture, diet and health to ask, “If saturated fat isn’t bad for me, why should I eat less meat?”

You'll never have a governmental authority tell you to eat less of anything in particular, for fear of upsetting one special interest or another. By focusing on one nutrient and demonizing it, it gives an easy out to producers, hence the leanest chicken and pork in history, not to mention the least flavorful.

The Beef Council, Pork Board and Big Sugar are not amused, and will be paying their lobbyists accordingly.

Bittman and the whole "eat less quantity, eat more quality" crowd has been criticised for being elitist and a rich-man's game, to which I say fooey. We don't have a national epidemic of people not eating enough, of dying from lack of calories. We have a national epidemic of people eating too much nutritionally null cheap crap, and suffering for it through excess weight and related health problems.  Eat less quantity of  high quality (and yes, more expensive) foods, and potentially we can be inclusive of all classes while raising all boats, health-wise. Pie in the sky, I know.

Saturated, naturally occurring fat is probably fine in moderation. Good quality meat, butter and low-processed proteins are probably fine in moderation. Anything that is very processed, high in added sugars, over-advertised in the media and is "diet" or "faux" should probably be avoided. It's nice that the science is starting to bear out these very  modern tropes: now to get the word out, and steer government and business in the right direction.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2638

Not particularly looking forward to next week's weigh-in. Though averages have been at a record high this month, my weekend eating has been heavy but uncompulsive and within the edge of reason. Hopefully the theory that exercise like biking raises the metabolism will pop it's head up around this time...

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MONDAY COUNT: 3230

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 5am, 7.5 hrs
Despite not being at work, kept a standard diet with appropriate veg consumption...until dinner. Was massive fun, the continuation of a seder I've attended since I was a child, with the same traditions, recipes, people (and now kids of people that) I shared with my parents. Didn't sit as much as I'd like, as I had to help keep a lid on a 4.5 and a 2.5 yr old, but was worth every second and calorie.

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, steel cut oatmeal, 400 cal

AM SNACK: 10:30am, momma salad, cheezits, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, Ethiopian chicken & lentil meal, pickles, momma salad with oil and salt, 670 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, one and a half slices of streetza, +/- 400 cal

PASSOVER SEDER: 6pm: matzoh, matzoh balls 2 ways, matzoh muffins, matzoh sandwiches, matzoh farfel (stuffing),  chocolate covered matzoh, some meats, sweets, unlevened grains and sauces thrown in there for good measure, water, diet soda, +/- 1300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2400
SLEPT: 11:30pm-5:45am, 6.25 hr
Busted the budget in a very concious way with corn chips, I was just normally hungry. Of two minds, was really hoping to have an in-budget day after yesterday's matzoh-blow out, but satisfied that the snack was a rational choice, not impulsive or driven by emotion.

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, health salad, pickles, red pepper tomato soup, 560 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, some of the gross sweet peach crackers from Grazebox , +/- 165cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, spicy beef and a spinach patty from Golden Krust, poppa salad with lite Italian, 930 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:15pm, fritos, 300 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2200

SLEPT: 8:30pm-6:30am, minus about 1.5 hours of up with children in the middle of the night, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 375 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, mushroom masala, steamed stringbeans, pickles, 620 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, rice crackers from Grazebox, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with bottled Ranch dressing, 130 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, cashews, 320

DINNER: 7:45pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, diet coke, 435

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BIKE CREDIT: 615
THURSDAY COUNT: 2870

SLEPT: 10pm-2:15am, 30 minute afternoon nap,  4.75 hrs
I think Wednesday night diet coke is messing up my sleep -- thought it might be event/emotional related, but two weeks in a row? Gonna eliminate the diet coke next week and see w'appens. Guess despite my tactical caffeine doses before certain rides, my body has become sensitized due to no more regular caffeine consumption. Not terribly surprised by my falling off this evening -- being overtired has a way of wreaking havoc with the hunger hormones.

AM SNACK: 2:45am,  iced green tea, 100 mg caffeine, homemade granola bar, 515 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 12:15pm, chicken sausage, sofrito black beans, sauteed mushrooms, kimchi, 465 cal

PM SNACK: 2 pm, momma salad, bruschetta crackers from Grazebox, 240 cal


PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled Lite Italian dressing, 110 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, kind bar, 210 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, 4 small plates at vegetarian dim sum, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:15pm, small cup of ice cream, +/- 400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2490

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 4am, 6.5 hrs
Got in a slightly tired, but nice weight work out in the morning.

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie, 400 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, vegetarian meat balls, madras lentils, string beans, kimchi, 720 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, oat crackers and onion marmalade from graze box, 210 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, 2 hotdogs and waffle fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

Seeing God & Satan in Nutritional Labels

MURIKA.

Democracy only works if the populace is informed, educated and empowered. The less popular and/or less ethical seek to misinform (Fox News), devalue education (the dismissal of the "educated liberal elite" and the triumph of "belief" over science) and depower (so-called "voter protection" laws that push minorities, elderly, students and the poor off the voter rolls) so they can achieve power, despite the protection of democracy from tyranny.

Get out and vote. Unless your drivers license is expired, then F@CK YOU.

To paraphrase those of faith, the greatest trick the Devil ever performed is convincing us he doesn't exist. Eating is political, and anyone who says otherwise is performing a trick. Your purchasing power at the grocery store is your vote. But how can you vote for what is best for you if you are not educated on what that is?  God knows "home economics" being taught in schools has been relegated to the dustbin of history.  Home-Ec was a catch-all place to teach cooking & nutrition, personal finance and basic good citizenship beyond "RA RA MURIKA!" McDonalds and the like has always insisted their essentially terrible products are part of a "well balanced diet",  but how do we balance? Our educational system has abandoned that responsibility. Your on your own, as the truth isn't profitable for corporations.

Old school school.

Well, not completely on your own. You gotta read the labels. And I do read the labels. And it's annoying as hell when you pick up a small bag of chips, read that it's 100 calories per serving, think, "Oh, that's cool" then find out the bag is four servings. It's a good thing our left-of-Republican-crazy-pants executive branch of government has spurred the Food & Drug Administration to recently announced a redesign of the labels to account for exactly this kind of trickery.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is hoping that its newly proposed updates to the Nutrition Facts Label for packaged foods and beverages will enable Americans to make more informed dietary choices in their daily routines.
Based on current scientific information as well as changes in the way Americans typically eat and drink, the FDA is recommending that the label should emphasize total calories, added sugars and such nutrients as potassium and Vitamin D.
The agency also believes that serving-size requirements for foods and beverages need to be revamped to align better with current consumption trends.
First Lady and nutrition advocate Michelle Obama voiced support for the proposed changes, saying, "You as a parent and a consumer should be able to walk into your local grocery store, pick up an item off the shelf, and be able to tell whether it's good for your family. So this is a big deal..."

I like that "calories from fat" are going away -- a remnant of the go-go Susan Powter 90s.  The two big stars are that portion size will now reflect reality rather than wishful thinking (a packet of M&Ms bought for $1 is usually not two servings) and 1950s scale (a burger today is typically 12oz of meat versus the 50's 4oz that still define a burger serving today.)

Why? Follow the politics....which follows the money.....

The real big star is breaking out sugars into an "Added Sugars" subcategory. It is in this little line where an educated consumer can ask, "Is this real food, or junk?" and this line will pretty much unequivocally answer it. Beware any politician, special interest group or pundit who thinks this line should go away -- they are part of the unpopular group in a democracy who want to misinform you, keep you uneducated, and take away your empowerment for the benefit of the industries that profit from selling that which hurts us.

The problems are clear, but grouping these industries gives us a better way to look at the struggle of consumers, of ordinary people, to regain the upper hand. The issues of auto and gun safety, of drug, alcohol and tobacco addiction, and of hyperconsumption of unhealthy food are not as distinct as we’ve long believed; really, they’re quite similar. For example, the argument for protecting people against marketers of junk food relies in part on the fact that antismoking regulations and seatbelt laws were initially attacked as robbing us of choice; now we know they’re lifesavers.
Redefining the argument may help us find strategies that can actually bring about change. The turning point in the tobacco wars was when the question changed from the industry’s — “Do people have the right to smoke?” — to that of public health: “Do people have the right to breathe clean air?” Note that both questions are legitimate, but if you address the first (to which the answer is of course “yes”) without asking the second (to which the answer is of course also “yes”) you miss an opportunity to convert the answer from one that leads to greater industry profits to one that has literally cut smoking rates in half.

Not to be shrill (but for the sake of the point, I'm goin' there), but this really is a battle between good and evil, between God & the Devil, between the populace of a democracy and corporate power which seeks to profit from them at any cost. If you still don't think eating is political, then Satan (or, in their human form, lobbyists for the Food-Industrial Complex) has won.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2,804

High caloric intake, but also a relative uptick in bike riding. Last weekend was a total 160 miles, and the aftershocks were felt in my increased hunger the first half of the week. The last two days of the week also got 50 miles shoved in there, with another uptick in eating. Feel good, clothing still feels lose, though I suspect my thighs might be getting a little bigger...

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MONDAY COUNT: 2710 cal

SLEPT: 8:30pm - 4am, 7.5 hrs
Felt tired at work, due to 160 miles of cumulative riding over the weekend, but the nap room at work was totally jammed up (1st world problems!) so I somehow muddled through, poor me. The new microwave dinner to get me through this time of no gas oven was good but unsatisfying (they need to include injira with their meals!) and ended up loosening up on the stick at the end of the day while enjoying snuggling with my kids on the couch. Funny how gorging used to help when I felt sad and denied, slightly desperate, and tuned out, now it helps me when….I got hunger issues! And the reasons for those hunger issues make me very, very happy.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 400 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, chicken mushroom soup, health salad, pickles, 530cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, poppa salad with bottled Italian Lite dressing, 110 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, Ethiopian chicken stew and lentils, 500 cal

EVENING GORGE: 7:15pm, almond butter & chocolate syrup, 2 kind bars, small portion of cheetos, small portion of corn chips, +/- 800 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2940
SLEPT: 8:30pm-5am, 8.5 hr
Again, fell down on the budget due to....hunger, I think it was straight-up hunger, not emotional distress or numbness or need for distraction. Still, I should be measuring it and maybe not hitting the only damn source of sugar in the house, he he.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, Mushroom masala ,pickles, 620 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, with seaweed sheets , 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled Italian Lite dressing, 110 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm,vegetable, shrimp and jerk chicken patties from Jamaican spot (1080)

EVENING GORGE: 7pm, peanut buter & chocolate syrup, +/- 500 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2140

SLEPT: 8:30-4:30, 8 hrs
Sauteed some frozen mixed mushrooms to add to lunch, with a little sriracha, worsterchire and soy, not bad - maybe a small addition to the arsenal stemming from the gas deprivation.

AM SNACK: 4:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal, 375 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken sausage, sofrito black beans, mushrooms, pickles, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, spicy crackers from Grazebox, 220 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with bottled Italian Lite dressing, 110 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, cashews, 160

DINNER: 7:45pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, diet coke, 435

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BIKE CREDIT: 620
THURSDAY COUNT: 3530

SLEPT: 9:30pm-1am, 1:30-2:30pm nap, 4.5 hr
Between stress and exhaustion, hit the food a bit hard in front of the TV in the evening. Not my finest hour, but grateful this doesn't happen on a regular basis anymore.

AM SNACK: 1:30am,  iced green tea, 0 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2:45am, granola bar, 100mg caffeine, 425 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, vegetarian meat balls, mushroom masala, string beans, pickles, 660 cal
TVP-based protein balls, haven't eaten a similar product in years, not bad. Got a fancy expensive mushroom-flavored brand, another score for opening up the routine, since sauteed chicken breast has been put on hold.

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, tomato crackers from Grazebox, 220 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, kind bar, 200 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, cashews, 160

DINNER: 6pm, slice of Costco pizza, 700 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, cheetos, 300 cal

EVENING GORGE: 8:30pm, digestive cookies, 1,040 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 500 cal
FRIDAY COUNT: 2700

SLEPT: 9:30-6am, 8.5 hrs
Tried to wake at 4am to lift weights, but just too tired to think straight and went back to bed. Will fit in a lift over the weekend. Fit in a good 20 mile ride after work, after a last minute plan-cancellation.

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie, 400 cal

NOON SNACK: 12 pm, momma salad, crackers and mango chutney from graze box, 180 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, health salad, pickles, 610 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, donut, +/- 300 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, frosted corn flakes, +/- 150 cal

BIKE SNACK: 6:30pm, homemade granola bar, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, shrimp pad thai, thai salad, fried tofu, +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, 2 chewy industrial chocolate chip granola bars, 200 cal

Heart Rate Monitor: Lessons My Papa Taught Me

Cheesiest. Clip art. Yet!

I recently started using a heart rate monitor on some of my bike riding, and I had a very odd emotion -- I was extremely grateful that I am not my father, and exactly like my father.

My father developed adult-onset diabetes in his late 40s. Even though he was not a fat guy, he wasn't particularly physically active -- outside of his professional life as a college professor, his main activities were reading books and newspapers, listening to classical and klezmer music, and ideally reading while listening on big ol' 70s headphone cans. However, he did love his sugar, thanks to an early childhood among the pastry shops of Vienna, Austria.

Amazing how many drag queens are named "Sugar Love"

After his diabetes diagnosis, he had to prick himself with needles several times a day and my mom would have to occasionally inject him with insulin. Within a year, he had "cured" himself of diabetes. His diabetes went into remission because he cut back on his sugar intake in a big way. It must have been a big way because like me, he was a big-time sugar addict since childhood. His drawer full of sweets and chocolate in his home office was an emotionally powerful & naughty draw for both of us until he stopped restocking it around the time of regular pricks and injections. Unlike my mom, who just hid her cigarette packs and smoking deeper after her first bought with lung cancer, my dad was true-blue when it came to cutting it out with the sweets.

Sugar-free treats in the 80s were disgusting, even more disgusting than they are today. Chalky, saccharine-filled things that tasted like weird chemicals and left you with an upset stomach and a loose bowel. Trust me, as a sugar mad kid, I'd try anything sweet once.

It's not by accident they look like turds.

He also acquired a stationary bicycle with a reading stand, and he'd put on his dope 70s cans and listen to music and read while he pedaled every day for a few hours. He continued this habit into his old age even when his legs gave way to a cane. As strokes started to chip away at his sight and hearing, eventually he replaced books and music with television, an appropriate medium for those with compromised facilities.

Alternately, stupidity helps make massive amounts of TV go down.

I can only imagine the shock to peace and well-being that the diabetes diagnosis did to him. My parents never shared the details of medical woes with their children out of a sense of protecting us, but today I long for as much information as possible for my own sense of security and road map to what I should be looking out for. The fear struck into me a couple of years ago by my kidney stones might have been a similar wake up call.

Like my father, a serious health scare has made me usher in some dietary changes. Rather than just swap out my sweets habit with terrible artificial sweets, I've done everything I can to reinvent my eating habits. I knew in the back of my head eating was an issue before the kidney stones, and a good part of my motivation for culinary school was to have the "cooking" tool box in my arsenal for when it would be time to get healthy. Post-stones, I've visited professionals, read current literature on nutrition, formed opinions on diet based on science and from that reorganized, reevaluated and recorded everything I eat.

Pre-kidney stones, I was already a dedicated recreational cyclist. My dad never had a bicycle as a kid, and felt it his duty to make sure his kids always had one. Growing up, it was the first and main way for  independence and have adventure. In my 20s after my first big career change, I was able to find peace in a childhood recreation that I thought I outgrew, but with a proper road bike found it to be a very adult pursuit. (But I imagine that discussion is for a whole 'nuther blog...)

I hope this kid is meditating on how she's going to get a bike, so she doesn't have to waste such a wonderful day meditating.

Years ago I tried a spin class with a friend and found it offensive on so many levels -- why would I want to pretend to bicycle in a gym with a bunch of sweaty meat lumps while shitty music is blared at me and a trainer yelled at me? I'd much rather read a book and put on some sweet 70's cans on my ears.

Sweeeeeeet!

Once in the late 90s, and again this past winter, I tried to use devices to turn my road bike into a stationary bike while I watched TV -- totally unsatisfying and a waste of time and money. Riding bike in the real world is to riding a stationary bike like a proper fudge brownie is to a sugar-free lo-fat brownie. Nah ganna happen.

However, recently I made one adjustment to my bicycle riding in the spirit of the health of my father. Going into the spring and the 2014 bicycling season, what is shaping up is a schedule where one week I get a whole day to ride 100+ miles to points far and wide, and alternating weeks I get in one or two shorter rides, either early in the morning to Coney Island or early on the weekend to a far-flung NYC location before I need to be there for my kids. It is on these shorter rides that I now wear a heart rate monitor.

Basically, it's an annoying device in two parts. A strap under my spandex that sits right below my chest sends a wireless signal to small output screen on my handlebars that beeps annoyingly loud if my heart rate falls below 60% of it maximum or goes above 80% of it's maximum. Supposedly this is the zone where the greatest benefit to cardiovascular health occurs.

Bottom line, this zone is the reason why my father forced himself onto the stationary bike -- he much rather would have been sitting in his Eames lounge chair, rocking out with Mozart or the Klezmatics while reading the latest Philip Roth or Consumer's Report. Well, this is my fatherly compromise -- I'd much rather be cycling than exercising, but this mechanical slave-driver will help me do both at the same time.

Diet alone is probably not enough to be heathy, but let's get real: it's 85% of the battle. If you so fat, eat less first before all else, worry about exercise when you stop making yourself feel so crappy with that bad food your stuffing down your throat. Optimal health will not happen without some exercise, but those who think they consume tons of extra calories all day every day then spend their spare moments on all sorts of different (but literal) tread mills are b@tt-f@ck insane.

When you're being sold something in regards to your health, the majority of the time you are expected to pay for something to consume or pay for something to do. My health advice: stop any exercise you don't love, consume less, then do more with the energy that comes to you for free with the time you just liberated.

"Hmmm, I think I need to write a diet book," thought Mr. Marx never.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2,444 cal

What a dramatic week, brought low by a rare bout of illness early in the week, and exploding into a well needed bike ride by the end.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2075

SLEPT: 8:30pm - 4am, 1 hr nap during lunch, 8.5 hrs
Skipped lifting because I felt achy, watched netflix while I go the laundry done. During the day felt a little light-headed, a nap at work nipped it but still feeling a little off

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, chicken mushroom soup, health salad, pickles, 530cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, spicy Korean crackers from Grazebox, 210 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled Italian Lite dressing, 110 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, Ethiopian lentils and cabbage, 480 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2000
SLEPT: 8pm-6am, nap 2-3pm,  11 hours
Straight to bed with the kids, it was light sleep until I took a tylenol around 1am and the second part was more steady. Might be dealing with a mild flu. Made kraft mac n' cheese for the kids and steel coat oatmeal for myself on electric burners this morning, actually seemed ok.

Felt much worse in the afternoon, stomach tight. Went home and ate easy-to-eat stuff -- calorie dense, not too much mass like a salad.

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 8:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, Madras lentils,pickles, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, with pizza crackers from graze box , 220 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, cheetos, 300 cal

PM SNACK: 7pm, 2 kind bars, 340 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2875

SLEPT: 8pm-4:30pm, 8.5 hrs.
Weird dreams, around 2am started to feel better. Took the day at home to fully recuperate. Watched what I ate, but by the end of the day, felt the need to treat myself to something sweet -- not out of pity or loathing or feeling bad, but because I was happy I was feeling better and proud that I had handled this illness well, minimizing the impact on my family, my work and my own mental wellbeing. This was the first time I've been sick-sick since watching my health 2 years ago, and I know if this was back then, I would have been laid-up and out of it for a solid week to two weeks. This time, really just one day.

AM SNACK: 4:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:15am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

AM SNACK: 11:15am, Gatorade, 130 cal

PM SNACK: 12:15pm, cheetos, kind bar, 500 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, pistachios from Grazebox, 200 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, sushi with brown rice, tempura, green salad, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, cookies & ice cream, 800 cal
First time out of the house, a walk to CVS to pick up stuff I don't keep in the house. Picked up the small personal box of Entemans chocolate chip cookies, which has 140 cal per serving, but surprisingly the whole box is 4 servings. The tiny individual cup of Hagen Daaz chocolate ice cream had 240 cal. When I was sick years ago, I'd go for the big box of cookies and a full pint of ice cream. How the hell did I think that was a reward and not a terrible punishment on my system? As it is, I think the 800 was a surprisingly high number of calories for so little food, but I needed to release the throttle just a little bit to feel mighty real, so to speak.

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2350

SLEPT: 8:30pm - 5am, 8.5 hrs
Good night's sleep, feel 95% better. Skipped lunch for the first time in blog history -- my oatmeal was weighing on me, and I'm not 100% better. Felt my bloodsugar drop a bit, that certain loss of focus from not constantly feeding the engine a little bit. Nice to be in tune. Stomach just wasn't feelin' it, so I wasn't going to force it. Friend took me out to a nice BK taco place for dinner, and swung by Milk Bar for a disturbingly sweet but delicious confection.

AM SNACK: 5:15am,  iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, gazpacho crackers from Grazebox, 170 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled ranch dressing, 120 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, guac & chips, 4 small tacos, water, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, "candy bar pie", bite of cookie, +/- 800 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 585
FRIDAY COUNT: 2920

SLEPT: 10:30pm-2:45am, 4.25 hr
Feeling 98% better banged out an early morning ride to Coney, just what I needed.

AM SNACK: 3am, iced green tea, homemade granola bar, 100mg caffeine, 395 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie, 400 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, andouille chicken sausage, madras lentils, string beans, pickles, 640cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, hamburger, roasted potatoes, bite of brownie, +/- 750 cal

EVENING SNICKLESNACK: 6:30pm, green tea, cookie-thing, +/- 150 cal

EVENING DINNER: 9:30-10pm, 2 slices of different streetza, ice cream cone, +/- 800 cal