Gonna Make You Sweat, Suit

It's spring in NYC and we've had our first string of +70 degree days. The trees are starting to shoot out their buds, the street garbage in Chinatown is starting to create the base of it's special multi-layered funk, and....people are running around in vinyl sweat suits.

I guess before I was more conscious of exercise & fitness, these ugly things didn't register. Now that my mind is more open to more options, my first reaction is....horror. When I go for proper long-distance bike rides, I wear as skimpy spandex as possible, because it looks damn sexy is purpose built to keep me cool and dry and comfortable on the bike. A suit to capture your sweat and heat you up as you run? 

Vinyl suit that is undoubtedly sweaty, not what we're tawkin' 'bout heeah.

For microwave popcorn fetishists. Tin foil hat not included. Tilda Swinton's  house frock. I can go all day!

So why wear a vinyl sweat suit a.k.a. sauna suit? They actually do have real benefits:

1. Increased perspiration, leading to loss of water weight and/or "toxins"
2. Temporary increase of pulse rate and metabolism, if used while exercising
3. Can be used in the treatment of Psoriasis, by keep affected skin moist at all times
4. Increased circulation delivers more oxygen to organs and skin, promoting healing on a cellular level
5. Keeps you warm while exercising in colder weather

Could there be any downsides to this modern marvel?

1. Water weight loss is as temporary as the next beverage your drink
2. The "Toxin" theory is a bit silly
3. Overuse easily leads to dehydration, heat stroke and if you really are stubborn, yep, death
4. Extreme discomfort when the suit sticks to your skin. Eeeeeew, just thinking about it....
5. It makes you look like a a baggy sack of sweaty flesh from the 80s.

Typically, the vinyl sweat suit is used by athletes like boxers and wrestlers to quickly get down to a weight class to qualify for a particular match, but they have the opportunity to rehydrate and get healthy before actually entering the ring. But hey, you can get a vinyl sweat suit for as little as $6,  they're made in sized up to 4XL, and it fits with the American-feeling that to lose weight, one must be punished for their failure of character. Don't let Billy Idol be your fitness trainer.

SWEAT!

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In recent weeks, when I've enountered people I haven't seen in a while, before they comment on my weight-loss, they say something like I look like I've been "working out". I don't think I'm particularly more muscular than a year ago so I don't see it, but maybe this is an expression of gender? Women look "sexy" and "attractive", men look "fit" and like they've been "working out", perhaps?

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2094

Good eating week, had to remake salads by Thursday due to wifely eating, which is nice, keeps everything moving and fresh. Swapped out my mix of red leaf & ice berg for adult spinach and...wow! I knew I liked spinach, but this brings the raw poppa salad to another level. Had to triple wash the greens in a salad spinner, but so worth it.

Weekend eating was unrestrained, but getting better. Unfortunately, some chocolate eaten late Friday evening prevented a good sleep, and by Sunday morning when I tried to get out of the house by 6 for a proper ride, I just folded, got back in bed and slept until noon. Bike and time pressures seem like the most probably way I'm going to get my weekend eating to come correct.

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MONDAY COUNT: 1845

Good work out in the morning, push ups kicking my ass. Ordered resistance bands to help do real supported pull-ups.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat bread, kimchi, water, 500 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger/celery/cucumber/cayenne juice, 135 cal

DINNER: 8:45pm, stir fry with shrimp, shirataki noodles, broccoli, shitaki mushrooms and black bean paste, poppa salad with miso tahini, water, 560 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, Fritos, 300 cal
Hungry right after dinner, made myself wait 30 minutes before going for the 'tos, and it worked. I think I may have been set to have a second bowl of chips if I didn't wait.

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2220

Woke up to upper triceps a little sore, a good thing.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, Whole Fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 300 cal

LUNCH: 2:45pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, momma salad, 490 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm,  beef jerky, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, poppa salad, miso tahini dressing, 100 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, homemade steak-umms, roasted brussel sprouts, 570 cal
Took .5 lbs of organic ground chuck, put it in food processesor with a little salt and let turn to paste. Rolled it thin between sheets of wax paper, froze it, cut it into large rectangles. It was 85% lean, so placed it in a hot pan with no oil, and low and behold, it acted just like the Steak-umms I remember from my college days. Shrunk down, kind of tough but really beefy, greasy. Only the manufactured ones were made from lips n' buttholes. Good, but definitely not going to be a regular rotation item.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, Fritos, 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, Cheesy Poofs, 300 cal
Found myself honestly hungry, hungry enough to keep me awake. Already drank more than a quart of water with dinner and Fritos, so I was confident it was not dehydration, either. Didn't feel particularly sugar-craved, either.

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2335

Odd eating day. Spent the morning cooking knishes, avoided getting any in my mouth as the tasting of the fillings were done last night, when baking it becomes a visual task. Went to a mom-friend's for lunch. Spent the evening at an event where I served knishes, a few smushed ones found their way to my mouth but stayed in control, despite the other tempting foods on offer.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 11am, Fruit Smoothie, 400 cal

PM SNACK: noon, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, baked chicken breast, green salad, potato/rutabaga mash, water, +/- 500 cal
Nice lunch at a friend's. Large piece of meat, small scoop of mash, extra helpings of green salad. People cut potato with things like rutabaga, I get it, it's healthy, but....it ain't potato.

PM SNACK: 4pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger/celery/cucumber/cayenne juice, 175 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, veggie burger 6" sub on whole wheat, potato chips, 16oz diet coke, 760 cal
Funny, always regarded this as a "healthy" option, but I can kinda taste the additives in the bread, the weird fillers in the soy patty, and the amount of vegetables feels sparse. And thats not to mention the greasy vegetable oil of the chips and the chemical sweetness of the diet coke. Bleah. I think I've ruined Subway for myself.

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, 3 mini knishes, +/- 100 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2120

Taught the first lesson of the high school culinary class I've taught for the past 3 years, brought in as a substitute. Was a lot of fun, but no easy way to calculate calories. Still, I was conservative in my consumption of tortilla chips and guac, went heavy on the oil-free salsa we made, and due to time and getting really hungry, chomped down on 2 slices of pizza we ordered in. Still, in comparison of how I'd eat in the past 3 years, I easily avoided the sugared sodas, a 3rd slice and some random potato chips that were served.

I intended to eat a big poppa salad when I got home in the evening, but I just wasn't that hungry -- though not ickily full, either.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, madras lentils, 610 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, beef jerky, 160 cal

SCHOOL DINNER: 7:45pm, several tastes of student fruit smoothies, tortilla chips & salsa & guacemole, 2 slices of streetza, water, +/- 1000 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 1950

Woke up with a good-feeling stomach, which made me feel a bit better about how I let it go a little at school dinner yesterday. Additionally, pleasantly sore from yesterday's work out, particular in my arms and upper back -- switching to the chin-up position in my attempts at lifting my body by my arms is hitting new spots. (Just got resistance bands in the mail after the work out, will be implementing them next week.)

AM SNACK: 7:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, Whole Fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, mahi-mahi, asparagus, roasted cippolini onions, poppa salad featuring spinach, 465 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger/celery/cucumber/cayenne juice, 155 cal

DINNER: 7pm, grilled chicken breast, roasted broccoli, black beans, 730 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, Cheesy Poofs, 300 cal

If you've read this far, please leave the comment, "OH NORBERT YOU SO SASSAY!" and you'll receive a special prize....