Everyone is fat nowadays, and we're all getting fatter. I've been fat since the early '70s, biters! And now I'm looking to get thin before the chunky trend goes out of style...
USDA says this is wrong. Probably because it's not profitable enough.
I've written a lot about sugar in this forum, how bad it is for you and the politics and economics behind it. The question remains: What am I gonna do about it? For years, I've been recording what I eat and up until September, guesstimated how much I was eating. That didn't work -- but doing the research and crunching the numbers of how many actual calories I'm consuming has been much more effective in keeping me mindful.
Recent revelations find me asking: so how much sugar am I consuming? Since some foods that aren't actual sugar act like it in the human digestive system, well, how much of that stuff am I eating, too? A lot of modern nutritional information is saying fat does not make you fat, but too many calories make you fat....and particularly, even moderate amounts of certain carbs DO make you fat. A gram of fat has 9 calories while a gram of protein or carbs only have four. When these three different nutrients enter our system, they act differently. They digest differently. Fat and proteins are converted to energy and stored fat slowly, while carbs, depending on their form, can be anywhere from medium-slow to lightening fast, causing havoc with our blood sugar and fat storage.
Last weekend, I watched a documentary called "Fat Head", a bit of a response movie to "Supersize Me". On the face of it, it is the story of a comedian who is annoyed by Spurlock, and sets out to eat nothing but fast food for 30 days....and lose weight. In fact this is what happens, though the filmmaker is more of an unlikeable right-wing anti-government computer programmer/"comedian". Still, I watched it to see what the "other side" was saying, and outside of the dickhead attitude, most of what was being said seemed oddly well grounded in scientific thinking.
The lede is a bit buried in the final third of the film, at about 1 hr & 24 min. When one eats food, only a tiny amount is needed to power the body minute to minute -- all the rest is all converted into fat, which is then used by cells during all the time we are not eating. Skinny people have small, efficient fat cells, and the fat made is quickly released into the cells as energy is needed. If fat cells are inefficient and don't release their fat quickly enough, the body calls for more food and the cells just get bigger and more engorged until they finally do release their energy.
Energy-burning cells are limited in the amount of energy they can burn at once. They can take in some sugar at once, but if you flood your system with sugar, the level of sugar is brought into line by the hormone insulin. And what does insulin do? Its job is to quickly clear out high blood sugar, either helping to burn off energy quickly and/or turn excess sugar energy into....fat. As energy-burning cells get resistant to insulin over time, fat is built even faster. So as you age and/or eat more sugar & simple carbs, it is very possible to gain weight while eating the same/less calories than you did in the past, especially if you go for a "low fat" diet, because in reality a low fat diet is a high carb diet. And if you are on a low-fat vegetarian diet (potentially low fat AND low protein), wow, good luck with that.
Too much insulin released in reaction to high glycemic food will cause insulin resistance, which will lead eventually to burning out the pancreas' ability to produce insulin, allowing blood sugar to increase to toxic levels and BAM your diabetic.
Weirder still is the glycemic index of certain foods. Pure glucose is 100, and table sugar is about 60. Most grain-based processed breakfast cereals like Special K are...65. Whole wheat bread is around....70. So it is very possible to eat "healthy" and still be revving up your insulin with foods that act like sugar. My dad was never a porker, but dealt with diabetes for most of his senior years. At a minimum, I have to throttle back further on my carb intake, regardless of whether it's whole or refined. At a maximum, I need to start noting the glycemic index (the insulin-invoking power of the food) as well as the glycemic load (a measurement of the glycemic index of the food and the amount in a serving) of what I eat. Good bye to McDonald's french fries is in order...
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2442
Got an oddly large number of unsolicited compliments on my weight loss/body changes this past weekend. I wish I could see myself more clearly -- sure, I'm back to the pants size I was in high school and college, but I still don't see it.
Weekly average not too far from my max of 2350, so that's good....
MONDAY COUNT: 2535
Surprisingly sore in the back from a Chinatown massage yesterday, so I decided to push off weights for a day. Also did laundry over the weekend, so took the morning to work on a batch of knishes for a local shop.
AM SNACK:7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST: 8:45am, kolon bloe with whole milk, 300 cal
AM SNACK: 9:30am, banana, 100 cal
AM SNACK: 11:30am, momma salad, 100 cal
LUNCH: 12:45pm, double quarter pounder, 20oz diet coke, 750 cal
When I ordered this, the counter person was surprised/alarmed: "Don't you want the meal, with fries?" Nope, just the burger and soda. Two reasons: this is 150 cal less than the single q.p. meal, and has a lower glycemic index...
DINNER:6:45pm, grilled chicken breast, steamed string beans, brown rice blend with caramelized onions, pickle, 7oz diet sprite, 780 cal
EVENING SNACK: 9:15pm, popcorn, 7oz diet sprite, 480 cal
God, popcorn popped in oil is so much more enjoyable than airpopped stuff.
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2350
Cooking knishes. Nice dinner out with friends.
AM SNACK:7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST: 9:15am, steelcut oatmeal, 375 cal
LUNCH: noon, sardine and avocado and whole wheat toast, pickle, mommma salad, 7o diet coke, 650 cal
DINNER: 6:15pm, moules frites, truffled lobster risotto, a bite of chicken & mushroom, a bite of pasta, 3 pieces of bread & butter, 1 calvados, chocolate cake & apple tart with ice cream, +/-1000 cal
Dinner at Balthazar with one of my dearest friends from Cali and one of my dearest friends from NY. Was tempted to go for steak frites, but figured even with the much-lower cal mussels (and very much delicious), I'd be pushing the calories with 3 courses. Rolled out feeling satisfied but only on the edge of full.
EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, animal crackers, 2 small meatballs, +/- 300 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2460
Cooking knishes in the morning. Taught the breakfast class at school in the evening. When we sat down to eat, I only ate a piece of bacon, a small piece of french toast, half a pancake and a small scoop of potatoes, but then I realized during class I ate 3 sausage patties, another slice of bacon, another piece of French toast, so the calories were actually high despite the "small" meal...
AM SNACK:7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST: 10:30am, smoothie, 375 cal
Replaced flax with chia, as that's the new trend all the cool kids are doing. Supposed to be flavorless, but I'm definitely detecting a grassy/metallic note.
SCHOOL DINNER: 6pm, french toast, pancake, sausage patty, bacon, hash browned potatoes, apple juice, +/- 1000 cal
EVENING SNACK: 9:30, momma salad, 100 cal
EVENING SNACK: 10:30, peanuts & chocolate chips, +/- 300 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2215
A Hanukkah elf delivered a fancy juicer to FBIWC headquarters today. Hmmmm. Busy doing chores, forgot to eat breakfast, a juice in the afternoon made up for it. Out for a nice dinner at Balaboosta in the evening. The hummus and skirt steak brought back strong memories of my father's cooking, weird. My parents would have loved this place, very Israeli sensibility and a female chef.
AM SNACK:7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal
LUNCH: 12:45pm, Stouffer's French bread pizzas, momma salad, 7oz diet coke, 960 cal
PM SNACK: 5:30pm, green juice (apple, carrot, kale), 230 cal
Well, that packed a wollop. A little hard to drink, very kaley. Still,
DINNER: 7:15pm, grilled skirt steak with string beans, hummus & pita, chocolate mousse, water, +/- 1000 cal
EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, 7oz diet sprite, 0 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2650
I know I probably was relatively accurate with yesterday's cal count because there was no way to forget breakfast today, he he.
214.4--->213.4--->212.8
Well, it's not a dramatic loss but it's the right direction. With the onset of fall's cold weather, the eating holidays, the dietary fall out from the hurricane, and my weekend slip into a major junk food haze that made me sick, it easily could have gone the other way. So I'm happy. Looking at the chart above, the fall is when I tend to go on dramatic upswings from the low 220s to the low 230s, so huzzah to me.
On a diet of raw steak and bullwhips, Mr. Danforth-Jones regrew the mustache and arm-pit hair he lost in bet gone wrong.
The fat percentage function on my Tanita scale is a bit more disconcerting. From August 1st to Dec 1st I've lost 1.75% of my entire body weight, but according to the scale, I have lost only .2% of my body fat (going from 36.8% to 36.6%.) If those two percents are correct, then I should be at 11.4% body fat, not 36+%. My muscles are definitely larger and stronger by visual and resistance measure, so.....nonsensical.
Still can't do a pull-up, but getting a little closer bit by bit. I can now do four sets of 5-second hang time in the up position, can do a a pull-up or two if I jump into position, and at the bottom standing still, can nudge myself up a few inches.
Some thoughts and goals for the month of December:
Increase my vegetable and fruit consumption. Momma salad every day AND at least one significant vegetable side dish ideally. Perhaps add one piece of fruit to every breakfast (other than the smoothie.) I have boring fruit tastes -- apples and bananas are all fine and good, maybe I should invest in getting used to grapes, pears, oranges, and something else.
Start juicing weekly. A birdie in a tree told me I'm getting a masticating juicer for Hanukkah. Not sure how I'm going to fit vegetable/fruit juice into my diet, perhaps as a snack or as a breakfast? Either way, it's a good way to get more fruit/veg nutrients into my diet in an interesting way, which will crowd out other less helpful calories.
Increase pull-up intensity. Increase hang time in the up-position, focus more on pulling from the bottom position, maybe even increase the weight or reps of back-muscle lifts.
And some donuts (spell check fixed "don'ts", but some how appropriate):
No need for another week-end slip into cheesecakes, pints of ice cream and multiple fast-food meals. It was fun to visit, but it wrecked my system for almost an entire week (and probably negated a pound or so I could have lost this past month). It was worth doing to underline the fact that it takes less than 48 hours of old-eating habits to send my body into sickness.
I've been over-shooting my max calorie consumption of 2350 by several hundred calories for almost the entire last month. Let's try to pull that back by adding more bulky veg to help with satiety. If I can do it over the next 3 or 4 months, the spring and summer will be a breeze.
Sugar addiction is kicking my ass. Needs to be freshly addressed. Researching the idea of the Glycemic Index for next week's entry.
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Rufus a.k.a. Rufusina a.k.a. Stupidcat
Ugg. I just put my cat to sleep at the vet's office today. Ate a falafel in his honor. Wouldn't it be nice if when people we love died, instead of drowning our sorrow and mourning in months of over-eating, we could just eat a falafel then hug your kids.
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At long last! A Phun Quizz! After such a boring, serious session of belly-button gazing, some mad jokes are in order. Leave your own answers in the comments, winner gets a prize of that smug feeling of knowing you're right!
This man:
tempts you to take his Big Gulp from his cold, dead hands.
is Amurika!
fights for his rights to party. With prop foods.
is large and in charge.
Sam Jackson:
encapsulated how I felt when I retrieved my bike from it's thief.
carefully balances talent and verve with the worst African-American stereotypes.
will smite thee with vengeful wrath.
has had it with those snakes on that plane.
Thanksgiving:
is about love and family
is about food
is about television
de be do be do be doo doo, da-da-da-da (boo be doo be do bee!)
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2550
A decent eating week, probably due to knowing it was the week for a weigh-in, he he. Monday and Tuesday I was able to avoid sugary snacks, but when I had some non-diet soda at school on Wednesday, the full pull of sugar addiction was felt. -----
MONDAY COUNT: 2440
Digestive track still feels a little compromised, but a lot better than when I was recovering from a bad weekend of eating last Monday. A little tired but got through the weights this morning, right wrist still a little ouchy when twisted but getting better.
Through doubling down on diet soda and keeping my jaw busy with a big bowl of air-popped popcorn, I was able to avoid sugar. Hmmm, can I do it again tomorrow?
AM SNACK:7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal with a little butter, brown sugar, vanilla and salt, 375 cal PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, 100 cal LUNCH: 2pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, multigrain tortilla chips, steamed string beans, 7oz diet coke, 700 cal DINNER: 7pm, whole wheat pasta and beef meatballs in homemade sauce with parm and spinach, 14oz diet sprite, 1000 cal EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, air popped popcorn, 7oz diet sprite, 240 cal
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2475
Slightly sore arms from from yesterday's weights, from the additional hang time in pursuit of the ever elusive pull-up. Struggled in the evening to not eat chocolate, made it through with a little extra
AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST:10:30am, kolon bloe with whole milk, 300 cal LUNCH: 3pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat bread, momma salad, 7oz diet coke, 1000 cal
DINNER:8pm, chickpeas & spinach in sauce, 1 roti, 1 potato samosa, roasted broccoli, 7oz diet sprite, +/- 800 cal EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, mulitgrain tortilla chips & jarred salsa, 350 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2600
School, soda sent me spinnin', Sugar. Ugg.
AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST: 9am, smoothie, 375 cal LUNCH: noon, broiled sole with butter, quinoa, steamed string beans, momma salad, 7oz diet coke, 800 cal SCHOOL DINNER: 7pm, meatballs, fresh pasta, caci e pepe, fried shrimp, 12oz root beer, +/- 9000 cal EVENING SNACK: 10pm, multigrain chips & salsa, chocolate chips & peanuts. 7oz diet sprite, +/- 500 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2600
Well, today was going to be the first juicing of the new regime, but the kale killed the centrifugal machine. Oh well, looks like I'm gonna invest in a superior masticating model.
AM SNACK:7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST:10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 375 cal LUNCH: 1pm, vegetarian dim sum, +/-800 cal PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad & pickle, 100 cal DINNER: 6pm, chicken sausage, cous cous, roasted brussel sprouts, 7oz diet coke, 900 cal EVENING SNACK: 9pm, peanuts & chocolate chips, 400 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2625
Reasonable eating day, though went off the reservation a little bit due to picking up dinner for the kids while the wifey went out and I had the sugar call out to me....
AM SNACK:7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST:9:45am, kolon bloe with whole milk, 300 cal LUNCH: 1pm, grilled chicken breast fillet, roasted broccoli & mushroom, baked potato and butter, 12 oz diet coke, 900 cal
Two things about this meal:
I baked two large potatoes, as that was always my standard baked potato portion. But since I was weighing and calculating calories, I found that if I were to eat both potatoes (and attendant butter), this would have been close to a 1400 cal meal, which is...ridiculous. And it was just as satisfying with one potato. Some habits die easy
Properly made grilled chicken, made with right brief time over high temp, is juicy and delicious. So much grilled chicken breast served has not been just off the grill under a minute ago, which is really the only way it's really delicious....
DINNER: 6pm, 2 slices streetza, green salad, french fries, 14 oz diet coke, +/- 900 cal EVENING SNACK: 9pm, small cup of ice cream, chocolate chips & peanuts, +/- 500 cal
Juicing, man. People treat it like religion. Over the weekend, I caught the documentary, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead on streaming Netflix. At first I almost walked away from it, since it seemed like an ego-driven vehicle for some rich guy to share his wondrous views for a few hours. But I couldn't stop watching. He goes on a 60-day juice-fast and loses close to 100 lbs while ruminating on what led him (and other fat Americans & Australians) to such a crazy obese place.
The lead guy doesn't go too much into the magical thinking that juicing inspires (toxicity cleansing! mental clarity! never get sick ever again!) but there is a bit of a cultish, this-is-the-answer-you've-been-looking-for vibe going on. Did some internet thinkin' looking for skeptics and, lo and behold, no one in the science world seems to think juicing is a bad thing, just not a magic bullet. Found a nice short piece on the PBS website which nicely summarized the current nutritional science around juicing. Italics mine:
1. There’s room for debate.
Fans of green juicing, or juicing raw vegetables, say that you can drink more vegetables than you can eat, and that juicing allows your body to more easily absorb the vitamins and antioxidants extracted from fresh produce. Juicing has been credited with alleviating everything from skin diseases and immune disorders to cancer and high blood pressure.
But skeptics claim that the detox and cleansing benefits attributed to juicing may be more psychological than physical. There’s also a lack of scientific evidence that proves that juicing your vegetables is significantly healthier than just eating them. If you’re not eating enough vegetables, drinking them might be one way to up your intake. The bottom line is, juicing certainly can’t hurt.
2. Your digestive system will thank you.
Juicing proponents believe that your digestive system can function more efficiently when drinking raw vegetables. Although you lose the benefits of consuming fiber when drinking your produce, it takes less energy to digest food in liquid form. Heating and cooking vegetables also reduces or destroys some of their enzyme content, which some say can impede digestion. With juicing, it’s believed that these food enzymes are not only preserved, but your digestive system also gets a “rest.” If you juice for enzymes, you might also believe that the right food combinations can help with digestion. Food combiners believe that eating a protein like meat or cheese, which requires one type of enzyme to be digested, with a carbohydrate, which requires another kind of digestive enzyme, can result in bloating and indigestion. When you juice, you only eat one type of food at a time, so digestion is speedier.
3. Moderation is key.
Despite what some raw foodists and “juicearians” might say, it’s probably not best to live on juice alone. A juice fast, in which one consumes only juice and no solid food for a day or more, can have healthy benefits, but it’s not entirely necessary. Drinking green juice can still have healing effects when combined with a regular, healthy diet.
For best results, drink green juice on an empty stomach, and make sure it’s as fresh as possible. More extreme measures, like the lemonade-and maple syrup-only Master Cleanse, or juice fasting as a quick-and-easy weight loss method, are not recommended.
4. Not all juices are created equal.
You can get your green juice at a juice bar, health food store, or through a delivery service, but be wary of bottled and pasteurized juices. And read the labels carefully: Too much fruit or fruit concentrate can increase the sugar level, and heating and processing can lessen nutritional value. Buying a home juicer and doing it yourself can pay off in the long run, although the juicer you buy might also make a difference. Centrifugal juicers, which grind and strain produce at high speeds, are the most affordable machines, but also less efficient – some say the high speed generates heat, and decreases the amount of enzymes in the resulting juice. Masticating juicers “chew” produce and can make more juice out of the same amount of vegetables, while triturating juicers, the most expensive and efficient option, “press” produce and retain more nutrients.While juicers extract only juice from produce and remove the fiber, blenders retain all of the content by simply mashing everything together. Fiber aside, the blender versus juicer debate might come down to a matter of taste: drinking celery juice mixed with carrot juice will probably taste better than drinking a celery and carrot smoothie.
5. The possibilities are endless.
If you make your own juice, experiment with combining different kinds of fruits and vegetables for taste and nutrition. Popular combinations include mixing leafy vegetables like spinach or kale with celery or cucumber, and adding beet, carrot, or apple for sweetness.
Just like bariatric surgery, juicing will turn you into a fetching white woman in her early 20s!
As it turns out, I have an old, high-end centrifugal juicer sitting in the back of the shelves in my kitchen, last used before I had a dishwasher machine, before I had children, before I had a wife -- I know because I put it away dirty, something my wife would never do! I did some juicing for a year, mostly apple and apple-ginger juice, and I got bored of it and the hassle of cleaning the machine. I also didn't see any magical results -- this was before I was food-conscious, before I went to culinary school, before I seriously figured I really needed to lose weight if I'm going to live well.
I'm fat, but I'm not morbidly obese like the people in the movie. I've been sick from poor diet, as recently as last week, but that's getting better, and I'm not on any medications. I'm far from nearly dead, so I don't think I need to get all starry-eyed and dedicate myself to a juice fast. I see adding one or two juicing sessions a week to increase the amount of vegetables in my diet, in addition to the amount I'm taking in now. Unlike when I first juiced it will not be just fruit, but enough fruit to make the drinks palatable. Perhaps taking in sugar this way will help me control the sugar-lust that has been having me consume sweets on a daily basis for the last few weeks.
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Actual scene from my childhood Thanksgiving. I watched the hell out of Peanuts every holiday, so yes, an actual scene, actually. Gen X in the HOUSE!
Thanksgiving has been depressing me every year for almost a decade now. Growing up it was the holiday that belonged to my family -- different aunts and uncles had Hanukkah, Passover, New Year's, the 4th of July, etc. But Thanksgiving was OURS. In our big, warm house on Staten Island, my mom would set the table days in advance, so much so that on the day-of it would need to be dusted. Dad would always make his vegetable crudite with onion-soup sour cream dip, roast chestnuts in the toaster oven, have a big turkey. I'd be "in charge of the stuffing," which was made from a damn box of Stouffer's, but even when I was well into my 20s my mom would would still boast about my making it. Steamed string beans with garlic, baked sweet potatoes that I never ate, cranberry sauce from a can presented in the shape of the can. Different families would bring wine, salad, desserts. It was a big, big to-do, and my mom would always get upset when people would gather in the kitchen and wash most of the dishes for her. By the time the last family would leave, I'd be exhausted and happy and loved.
The tradition continued when my parents moved to an apartment on the LES when I went to college, but every year it would get smaller. The kids were now adults starting families, the older folks either moved too far away or passed. I guess the last real Thanksgiving was in 2004, because the next year my father passed away a few days before the holiday after an extended illness. I now join my wife's family for their Thanksgiving tradition but that seems to be on the edge of flux for the same reasons my family's was. I really hope Thanksgiving comes back to my home someday, and that I can help start a new tradition where my kids can feel exhausted, happy, and loved as well.
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Saw this poster in the window of a restaurant near my mother-in-law's home, on the edge of Harlem. Save Half for Later is a government-backed, hospital-sponsored outreach program in this historically poor, black, unhealthy neighborhood. The gist is if the restaurant is participating in the program, you tell your server that you'd like to "save half for later,"and half of your meal will be placed in a branded, reusable container that is delivered with your check at the end of the meal, and the other half is served to you, plated like a whole meal. The materials stress the healthfulness, as well as the economic advantage of getting two meals for the price of one.
I guess there is no harm in this, but it's such a timid public-health measure that I think it's a contradiction in terms -- the restaurant industry's own thrust is to sell more regardless of the effect it has on its customers, and that is a root cause, not people's laziness in saving food for later. There should be a law that says any one can order a half portion of any dish for half the price, or half the price + a dollar or percent. Or the program should officially advertise that any one meal can be purchased and then split in two servings, Florida early-bird style. The fact that this initiative has to pussyfoot around the economic interests of the restaurants involved is so compromised.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2532
Took Friday off from counting, as Thursday was Thanksgiving and I ate relatively well. I didn't treat Friday as a weekend, I ate carrots and limited my eating, felt good. Average is too high, but not unreasonable. Eating too much sugar.
I ate horrendously last weekend, really indulged my cravings for fat and sugar -- mini cheesecakes and three deserts a day were involved. And Sunday night and Monday morning I paid for it in a way that is inappropriate to discuss on this blog, he he. A similar, more extreme version of these symptoms knocked me out for 2 weeks around Xmas time last year, and up until now I thought it was the result of a long and progressive pattern of poor eating. Now I see all it takes is a couple of days of self abuse to bring me right back there, wow.
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MONDAY COUNT: 2570
Lifted weights this morning, felt good. Left wrist fine, right wrist still twinges when turned. While doing standing curls with 35lb weights, had to modify to prevent pain, but all other activities were fine.
AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST:10am, steel cut oatmeal, 375 cal
AM SNACK: 11:45am, momma salad, 100 cal
LUNCH: 1pm, Shake shack burger, half an order of fries, 20oz diet coke, 700 cal
Not my idea of a healthy lunch, but me n' Milli were meeting a friend who had jury duty, and I don't get to see her often enough. Fortunately, Shake Shack has their nutritional info online and my friend was willing to split an order of fries.
DINNER: 6:30pm, chicken sausage, steamed string beans, plain quinoa, a pickle, 7oz diet sprite, 670 cal
EVENING SNACK: 9pm, dark chocolate chops & almonds, 400 cal
EVENING SNACK: 10pm, 2 slices wholewheat potato bread with hummus, 300 cal
Surprisingly hungry, an honest hunger, so I satiated it despite going over budget.
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2365
Cooked Thanksgiving lunch with the kids, a lot of work, felt really worn down at the end. Passed out when I got home a little after 9, which prevented me from eating more, he he.
AM SNACK: 7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST:9am, kolon bloe with whole milk, 300 cal
PM SNACK: 12:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal
LUNCH: 12:30pm, Stouffer's Frenchbread pizzas, 740 cal
SCHOOL SNACK: 2:30PM, slice of birthday cake, +/- 500 cal
SCHOOL DINNER: 7:30pm, 1 slice of streetza, 2 cups of soda, +/-700 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2870
Thanksgiving eating in effect -- got to school at 7am to get turkeys in the oven, nibbled through lunch. Not sure exactly how many cal I took in, but rather than throwing my hands up and eating like its a weekend, kept it pretty conservative for dinner. This past weekend's eating already threw me for a wobbly, another wobble too soon and I could get sick-sick.
Felt really hungry in the evening, unfortunately I had brought some brownies home from school, -sigh-. Did the math the next morning to figure out how many calories were in them. I hope I over-estimated my lunch calories!
BREAKFAST:5:30am, iced green tea, chocolate covered espresso beans, rice crispies with whole milk. +/- 400 cal
SCHOOL AM SNACK: 7:30am, birthday cake, +/- 200 cal
SCHOOL LUNCH:1pm, roasted turkey, cornbread stuffing, brownie, lemonade, sweet tea, +/- 800 cal
Didn't sit down and eat, but nibbled a lot.
PM SNACK:5:30pm, baby carrots, 80 cal
DINNER: 6:45pm, chicken sausage, whole wheat couscous, roasted broccoli with chili powder, 7oz diet sprite, 830 cal
EVENING SNACK: 9pm, 2 wedges of school-made brownies, 560 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2325
Blurg, Thanksgiving. Kept it tight in the morning, with a good fruit smoothie and a round of weight lifting. Right wrist still hurts, starting to concern me. Ate heavily at the family meal, which was early by T-day standards, and when I got home to put the baby to sleep, hunger never came back. Fell asleep at 9:30, which helped as I would have eaten again if I was up late.
AM SNACK:7am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST: 9am, fruit smoothie, 350 cal
PM SNACK: 12:30pm, whole wheat bagel with cream cheese, 7oz diet coke, +/-350 cal
THANKSGIVING LUNCH: 2:30pm, sliced turkey breast, sweet stuffing, overcooked string beans, a little salad, mashed potatoes, pumpkin knish, half a glass of wine, ginger ale, birthday cake & 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream, +/- 1300 cal
EVENING SNACK: 9pm, chocolate chips & almonds, +/- 300 cal
Getting your car stolen focuses your attention. And when your car is a monster-bicycle that sticks out like a sore thumb and that gets stolen, you ask yourself some questions and do some thinkin'.
Tuesday morning I delivered Edie to school, about 1/2 mile away from home at around 8:30am, as I do most days. Door to door, the trip is about 10 minutes versus the 20 minutes if we're on foot or via stroller. It was raining and cloudy, and I needed to get home to focus on the day's chores. When I got to the school, men were hauling out large containers full of construction waste to a dump-truck parked directly in front of the school. Usually, I leave the bike in the spot, in direct eye-line of the guards who make sure no ne'er-do-wells enter the school. Today, however, I parked right next to the doors, out of the way of the construction workers and their piles of waste, and out of the eye-line of anyone by the entrance.
Edie & I went upstairs to her classroom. Unlike when she was two, when she would cling to me and take some warming up, her three-year-old self jumps right into action, rendering me almost invisible (sigh!). So I smooshed a kiss on her cheek and split. I exited the building and turned left to find my bike...no bike. Right? Still no bike. Looked forward at the workers, thinking for a moment they moved it to make room for their activities, no bike. I ask the workers if they saw someone take it; they shrug and say no. I go into the lobby and say my bike was just stolen, are there cameras? They say no, give me a phone number for the facilities manager, who will be available at 10am. I check the time, it's 8:43; I had arrived at 8:40. Three minutes was all it took. I call my wife, I don't remember what was said, other than the bike is gone and I might be late in coming back so she can split for work.
How bikes get stolen in Monopoly Town.
I walk out and start walking, not sure what to do, a thick blanket of fuzziness on my brain. I guess I'll walk over to the police station, which is one block over from my home? Literally moments after I leave the building, I see a mother of another child in Edie's class quickly walking in my direction, with her infant in a stroller -- I had just politely waved to her on the street from the bike on the way to deliver Edie only minutes before. As she's walking towards me, she firmly says/shouts/asks, "Your bike was stolen!?" Yes, I say, I don't remember if I mumbled it or shouted it. "I saw him on East Broadway, he's going north, black guy wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and a black hat. Chain fell off the bike, he was trying to fix it and when I yelled at him that the bike was stolen, he said he was fixing it for you then ran away. Cops are chasing him!" I notice another parent-friend is standing next to us, but I take off running, and I don't run -- I don't think I've ran in 15 years, my ankles just don't like it, but for my bike, I ran. Over a block, then up East Broadway. Once I got close to Grand Street, I realized whatever had happened moments ago was gone. I was now very close to the police station, so I walked over, catching my breath and hoping not to look like a sweaty insane person.
Google "sweaty inane person" and this what you get.
In the lobby, an Asian man with limited English was trying to get an explanation of a car insurance form from the lady officer on desk duty with a thick Lower East Side accent. The man's garbled questions were mostly met with "I can't understand you" by the officer, and after about three repetitions of this interaction, I started bouncing up and down on my heels like a toddler who has to go to the bathroom. The officer sees me and says to the Asian man, excuse me, let me help this gentleman. My instinct immediately tells me these public servants probably take large servings of shit from an inarticulate public, so I better be damn polite and clear.
I thank the lady and within moments I hear, from the other side of the partition, "We have two on it right now." The desk officer asks me a few other questions, like where, when, was there a physical altercation, and what is the value of the bike. At Edgies on Henry, between 8:40 and 8:43, no and over $1,500. She tells me to take a seat and someone will be right with me. CHUNG CHUNG!! Law & Order time.
A sergeant comes by to inform me that because of the bike's value, this is an incident of grand larceny. Another officer sits down with me, and starts filling in a report. I tell him I'm not the one who called 911, but a friend who saw the thief with my bike. I give him the name and contact of my friend, then he asks me to call her to get a description. I call her, and she's surprised because someone has already called her for the description. After we hang up, another officer takes over filling in the paper work and starts asking me very specific questions about the appearance of the thief. I repeat that I did not see the guy, my friend did, and why don't YOU get on the phone with her and be the THIRD person to ask for the same information? Well, I didn't say that, but I started to think that perhaps my bike is not the most pressing case happening at the 7th Precinct this morning.
The cops who were on the scene arrive, they were directed south while the thief went north so they never saw nuttin'. I'm directed upstairs and have another interview with a plain-clothes detective (CHUNG CHUNG). During his rote questioning he asks me where I grew up. Staten Island, I say. He gives me the side eye. Yes, detective, I should have known better than to not lock my bike, I'm the asshole, thank you for that.
On that note, I did a one block walk-of-shame from the precinct to my home, choking back tears. Well, my kids are fine, my wife is fine, my home is fine, it's just some money, it can be replaced. People in this city just lost everything a few weeks ago, homes, personal possessions, even some lives. Who am I to be upset about a singular bicycle?
However, when I got home to find wifey sitting at the kitchen table, she looked at me with sympathy and I just wept like a baby. I haven't cried for a physical object since I was a child. I cried when each of my parents died and I cried recently when I learned a close friend was just diagnosed with cancer, hell, I've teared a little at a few movies in the past decade. But a friggin' BIKE? I posted on social media, sent an email to the fine folks at the Lo-Down (who put up an APB on their Facebook page, which was cool). I've had bikes stolen before, I'm a life-long New Yorker and a life-long cyclist, it's part of the game. But this was a little different..... PAUSE FOR REFLECTION
When I was maybe 5 or 6, someone entered our unlocked detached garage on Staten Island in the middle of the night and stole our bicycles. The very next day, my dad went out and bought us two new Ross bicycles, a ten speed for my brother and a blue cruiser with a pressed-metal "gas tank" on the top tube. No kids of my dad was gonna be without a bike, his job was to provide that stability, and I am going to, too.
My first hooptie. Well, first I can remember after the actual first was stolen.
An aside: I've pretty much written off bicycling as a primary method of losing weight. A decade of riding centuries (100 mile bike rides) and logging countless hours on one of 8 bikes I in my stable has made several friends say over the years, "why are you so fat when you ride so much?" I've realized after rebooting this blog a few months ago that the current thinking on weight and weight loss in the media, the ol' "eat less do more" credo, is only half the battle. Those who think it's 100% "eat less/do more" are lazy thinkers, don't like fatties, or don't want you questioning the vested interests of Big Foo HEY LOOK AT THAT SHINY THING!! BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!
Oh mah gawd, men only stare at my horn. My eyes are down here, guys!
Losing weight is not just about eating less and doing more, it's about revising what you ARE eating and what you do to not only lose weight but to manage your comfort and appetites, and questioning vested interests as well.
There's that, and then there is my family of a wifey and two adorable, happy, healthy kids. As a single guy, I could dedicate 10-15 hours a week to being on a bike by myself or with a few friends. A 9-hour journey on the bike is extremely head-clearing and meditative, though the hunger generated would usually result in taking in more calories than I expended. The biking had to be cut back. As my first child reached the age to be put on a bike, biking became less about 9 hours of meditation and more about spending quality time with my kid and getting to places quickly without the usual weight of strollers and subway stairs and long bus rides and squiggly kiddie drama that travelling with kids entails.
I was transporting my 1st child on a seat attached to the front handle bar of a beaten, 15-year-old creaky commuter bike. It handled weird with the weight, and it was only a matter of time until something eventually wore out or malfunctioned. For my 40th birthday, wifey gifted me the best present ever -- a cargo bicycle. Basically, it's a heavy duty bike in which the rear wheel is extended back a few feet and a platform is placed behind the saddle. I added running board platforms to support the built-in bags on the sides, wide comfy BMX stomper pedals, extender rings on the stem to raise the handlebars to a more upright position, comfy extra large grips with mini bar ends for extra hand positions, two child seats with mounts to the rear platform, etc etc. A lot of thought and love went into this machine so it could:
transport one or two children
carry full weekly loads of groceries for a family of 4
haul knishes and knish ingredients back and forth from commercial kitchens
enable car-free trips to Costco and Ikea
occasionally throw an adult friend on the back for a scoot around town
have the comfort of the weight and stability in any weather at all
Admiring a power plant during the black out.
THE STORY CONTINUES....
Betsy left for work, and I tried to focus on the day. I couldn't bring myself to the book I wanted to read or the weights I wanted to lift. I got a call from the cop station, and my first thought was, "Ah, there is a break in the case! I'm gonna get my bike back!" but it was just an old lady keying my list of stolen things into the computer, and she couldn't read my handwriting. The baby sitter coming from the Rockaways was an hour late, so I had to cancel some plans, but I still had to deliver some knishes to a local shop. With more time on my hands than expected, I decided to go to Frank's.
Frank's is my local bike shop—an institution on the Lower East Side since the '70s. I've purchased many of my bikes from him, I interviewed and wrote a piece about him when I was a writing for a local publication years ago, and when B bought me the bike, she sent it to Frank's for assembly and care. So I went in, Frank and his crew commiserated, and Frank said something like, "What about that bum on Clinton St? Check him out!" and proceeded to line list a few corners where the known villains of the 'hood congregate to sell bikes for cash quickly. He also took my number in case something popped up on his end. It's nice to walk into a bike shop where everyone knows your name, and knows how important a stolen bike was to you.
I rode over to Malt & Mold to deliver the knishes, riding past a few of the corners that Frank suggested. I confided in Kevin about the bike, then started heading north to meet up with Betsy for lunch. As I passed Delancey going up Essex, my eyes were scanning everywhere for my bike. I told myself, "Noah, you have to refocus, the bike is gone, if you keep on looking, you're going to drive yourself crazy. Let it go. The Big Dummy is gone, and there is no coming back from where she went."
And then there she was. A man was pushing a Big Dummy across Essex at the corner of Houston. There was no baby seat on it, but it had the double baby seat mounts, the extra spacers on the stem, the stomper pedals, the mini-bar ends. Three thoughts in one split second:
huh, amazing how someone else could have a bike just like mine
the DEAD RISES
Sam Jackson saying, "I'm gonna go get MINE, muthaf@cka!!"
And I say unto thee, you are the snake on my plane, and I shall SMITE thee with vengeful wrath!!
Blue jeans, black jack, light skinned black guy, just like the witness account. I pull up in his path in the street a few feet from the corner. I place my hand on the handlebars of the Big Dummy not too far from his hand, and I state, "This is my bike. It was stolen this morning, I reported it and I have a copy in my bag." He looks at me casually and says, "Hey, they guy across the street just gave it to me, I don't know anything about it being stolen!"
"Great!" I say while not letting go, "let's call the cops so you can give an I.D.!" He lets go of the bike and starts walking way. I'm now weighed down by two bikes, and I shout, "DON'T WALK AWAY! THIS IS STOLEN PROPERTY!!". I think to actually place my commuter bike on the back of the Big Dummy and chase after him, but notice the bike tire is flat -- that's probably why he was walking it and not riding it. I pretty much hulkified for 15-20 seconds, shouting out the rage and the panic and fear and hurt I've been under for the past 4 hours before walking the two bikes off the street onto the sidewalk. I do a quick inventory of the bike -- bar ends, lights, bungee nets, underutilized chain and lock, child seat, child helmet all missing. Other than flat tire, no visible damage. A cyclist stops by and asks if I need a tube. I say nah, just retrieved my stolen bike, gonna walk it to my bike shop and have it looked at. We had a conversation, I tried to tell him my story in 10 seconds, my eyes must have been spinning in my head. He says, look, there is a cop car around the corner.
"Watch these!" and I take off and flag down the the cop. I tell him I just got my stolen bike back, I put in a report this morning for Grand Larceny, and the thief just went south on Essex. I gave him the description and he took off. When I get back to the corner, the cyclist and my two bikes had disappeared.
KIDDING! I relieved the kind sir, I quickly locked the crappy commuter to a light pole and started walking quickly south with the Big Dummy, but the cop car and the thief were long gone. I snapped a pic of the bike and sent it to Betsy. She called back, saying she was confused. "I got my bike back." She giggled for joy, said she couldn't wait to tell her mom and brother. When I stepped into Frank's, I shouted, "Anyone wanna buy a stolen bike?!" We had a good chuckle and told stories. I placed orders for a new seat, had Edie pick out a new helmet online, and when I went to Frank's to pick up the bike at the end of the day, the bike was all tuned up, fitted with an extra-tough rear tube, new grips with integrated bar ends, a new lock, and lights. All in, after shipping and taxes, the ordeal has cost me about $400. That sucks, but if the whole rig was gone, I would have to order a 2013 model when it comes out in the Spring, and with all the customizations and add ons and shipping etc, would have been in the thousands.
However, when I was taking stock when I retrieved the bike, I noticed a black plastic bag tucked in a saddle bag. I took it out, and....
Crazy Stallion: Fine Malt Liquor for the discriminating bike thief
He may have stolen my bike, my false sense of security, a good part of the day, and a few hundred bucks worth of gear, but I got his malt liquor. The Big Dummy is dead, long live the Crazy Stallion!
------ I love my Big Dummy Crazy Stallion. Though this is a food blog, my inspiration for its style and overall obsessiveness is Bike Snob, a biking celebrity in his own mind (and a fiend friend). The Snob is so famous that Surly gave him his own free Big Dummy, and he was kind enough to take an afternoon to let me take it for a test spin with him, as the bike is too damn large and smug to be stocked in a regular bike shop. In fact, while out with my child strapped to the back of the bike, I've been accused of BEING Bikesnob, eech. So I guess it's HIS fault the bike was stolen. Yeah, his fault.
BikesnobNYC, wearing his new line of bikeeng face-speeder-uppers.
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I shoulda taken phone pictures of the thief. Oh well.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2,293
Huh, this is the first time in a while my average calorie intake fell within budget. Guess over-eating on the weekend helps early in the week, and severe emotional trauma helps later in the week! Upper side back muscles still sore on Saturday from the attempted pull-ups on Thursday, which makes me hopeful that when they recover, I'll be closer to doing one damn pull-up.
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MONDAY COUNT: 2100
Due to several days of having to push the big bike with my hands (Nor'easter, snowy travel up a bridge the next day, flat tire with 2 kids on the bike on Sunday), my wrists hurt like hell when I turn them. The spirit is willing, but I'm gonna wait a day or two before I subject them to lifting weights. Sucks because I skipped one session last week, my body craves the work out...
Due to Veteran's day, Edie was home, and in the midst of bringing both kids to assorted playgrounds by bike in the nice weather, I failed to get lunch. Increased the dinner portion by 1/3, as my traditional meal when I skipped lunch was a huge bowl of pasta, though back then it was white pasta and the whole damn box. Oy.
AM SNACK:7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal BREAKFAST: 10:30am, toasted bagel with hummus & cured salmon, 7oz diet coke, 590 cal
Damn, forgot how caloric bagels are -- without the toppings, the 146g bagel topped out at about 375cal...
PM SNACK:2pm, crust of pizza, +/-50 cal DINNER:6:15pm, whole wheat pasta with chicken meatballs, homemade tomato sauce, steamed string beans, parm, momma salad, 7oz diet sprite, 1340 cal EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, chocolate chips and peanuts, 310 cal
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2135
Nothing ruins the appetite and disrupts good habits like having a very expensive bike stolen while dropping off your kid at school. I didn't lock it, as it was an in n' out 3 minute situation, totally my fault. Did the police report and social media, wasn't looking good, but on the way out of the 'hood ran into thief walking the bike. Made me appreciate the role of biking in my life, think I'm gonna write about it for the weekly subject....
Did mess up my day, made me skip breakfast, second day in a row I skipped a meal. Don't think this is going to become a habit, he he.
AM SNACK:7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal LUNCH: 3pm, 6" veggie burger sub, ranch Doritos, 24oz diet coke, 760 cal DINNER: 8:30pm, chicken sausage, whole wheat Israeli cous cous, momma salad, pickle, 7oz diet sprite, 960 cal EVENING SNACK: 9pm, almonds and chocolate chips, 390 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2290
Busy day of knishery chores and teaching in Red Hook. Not sure how much I ate at dinner but it wasn't totally unreasonable, but not enough veg. Good thing I got fruit in the morning.
AM SNACK:7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal BREAKFAST: 9am, fruit smoothie, 375 cal LUNCH: 1:30pm, quarter pounder, fries, 20oz diet coke, 890 cal SCHOOL DINNER: 6-7pm, cheese tasting, various pieces of pizza, full calorie soda, slice of nutella banana pizza, +/- 1000 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2630
Due to a strained wrist from pushing the big bike through snow on Friday then pushing the big bike with a flat with two kids mounted on it on Sunday, I had to skip 2 weight-lifting sessions. Left wrist 100% better, right wrist only 85%, but most of the motions of the weights did not hurt it -- only when I turn the wrist does it go a little ouchy. Felt a little weaker then usual, but was still able to get through 2 sets of 40 push ups and a set of 40 sit ups. Still can't do a damn pull up, but my 4 sets of 5 second curled hang time are getting better.
Food shopping at the smaller supermarket down the street was a huge bummer. Produce more expensive, staples come in smaller packages making it ounce for ounce more expensive, only string cheese available is kosher, which is literally 100% more expensive. Ugg. And you can't take the cart out of the building, which makes going out to load up a bike impossible. I can't wait until the Fairway in Kips Bay opens. It'll be a little longer to get to, but it'll be reasonable.
AM SNACK:7:30am, iced green tea, 25 cal
BREAKFAST: 10am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, brown sugar, cinnamon and vanilla, 375 cal LUNCH: 12:30pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, momma salad, 12oz diet coke, pickle, 530 cal PM SNACK: 5pm, slice of streetza, +/- 300 cal DINNER: 8:30pm, sushi, tempura, shumai, green salad, cheesy poofs, 7oz diet sprite, +/- 1000 cal EVENING SNACK: 10pm, chocolate chips & peanuts, +/-400 cal -----
FRIDAY COUNT: 2310
Happily found myself sore this morning from yesterday's lifting, particularly my upper back and underarms, the locus of pull-ups. Is it because I quickly lost tone from missing a week, or is it because I tried harder because I missed lifting?
AM SNACK: 8:15am, iced green tea, 25 cal BREAKFAST: 10:45am, cornflakes with whole milk, 275 cal
LUNCH: 1:45pm, chicken nuggets, ketchup, baby carrots, cheesy poofs, pickle, 7oz diet coke, 660 cal DINNER: 5:45pm, cheese ravioli with tomato sauce and spinach, water, 850 cal EVENING SNACK: 9pm, various cakes and cookies, +/- 500 cal
