Living Larger

196.6-->201.2-->203.2
I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Still, after 2 periods of month over month gains of about four pounds, it's gone to just half that this month. I'm now 12 pounds over my lightest, in June. I know, I know, 2 lbs falls into that "statistically meaningless" category when it comes to weight -- I can instantaneously put on two pounds by drinking a few pints of water, but still, when taken in the sweep of the curve above, it's both worrisome (I'm gaining weight!) and promising (it's slowing down!)

At a family event for Thanksgiving yesterday, someone who hadn't seen me in about a year complimented how thin (well, thinner) I look. I took the compliment, but of course I wanted to say, "actually, I've put on 15 pounds since I saw you) but I imagine she has spent more time with me when I was much heavier, so I guess I should have perspective -- I'm still not the fatty fatster I was 3 years ago.

I've had time to contemplate why the uptick. Clearly part of it is I'm consuming close to 3000 calories a day, when during my loss and maintenance periods, it was closer to 2500. The past year has brought turmoil in my personal life, but the past month a new track has presented itself and the train has gotten a bit steadier. As a counterpoint, my professional life has been thrown into turmoil this past month or so, leaving my schedule a lot less predictable, which was key to keeping to a regular, calorie-regulated habit. Signposts point to regaining that regularity in the next month or so, so hopefully I'll buck the trend and see my weight actually decrease over the winter months...

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2611
Nice to see a weekly average approaching where it should be.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2860

SLEPT: 9pm - 4:30am, 7.5 hrs
Good busy day.

AM SNACK: 4:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:15am, Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, vegetarian meatballs, tomato soup, health salad, pickles, 620 cal

PM SNACK : 3:30pm, momma salad, Grazebox pistachios , 200 cal

DINNER: 6pm, mahi mahi, asparagus, poppa salad with Italian, kind bar, 730 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:30pm, 2 kind bars, 400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, +/- 300 cal
-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 2450

SLEPT: 9pm-5am, 8hr
Good intense day, needed to take myself out to dinner to just stay even. Good things afoot.

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am,  Fage with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:15pm, chicken meatballs, mushroom curry, steamed string beans, pickles, 620 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, Grazebox cashews,  220 cal

DINNER: 5:45pm, vegetarian dim sum, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal
-----

WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2785

SLEPT: 9pm-2:30am, 5.5hr
Cooked for a nice friend.

AM SNACK: 3am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:15am,  steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

AM SNACK: 11:15am, momma salad, grazebox popcorn, 230 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, shrimp with shiritaki noodles and shitake mushrooms, poppa salad with Italian, 545 cal

DINNER: 6pm, knish appetizer, broiled fish, mushroom ravioli, roasted brussels, salad, pumpkin pie and almond ice cream, +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, more pie and ice cream, +/- 500 cal
-----

THURSAY COUNT: 2640

SLEPT: 10pm-6am, 8hr
Ate too much at Thanksgiving like a good American, but not to the point of discomfort. Found myself unhungry for dinner -- in fatter years, I'd eat a full dinner anyway because that's what you're supposed to do

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 8am,  fage with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

AM SNACK: 11:30am, momma salad, grazebox seeds, 230 cal

THANKSGIVING LUNCH: 2pm, turkey, stuffing, gravy, overcooked stringbeans, salad, pie & ice cream, water, +/- 1500 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, chocolate chips & cashews, +/- 300 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2320

SLEPT: 8pm-4:30am, 8.5hr
After the shock of the morning weigh in, a good eating day.

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:15am,  fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 11:15am, almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, pickles, health salad, 710 cal

DINNER: 5pm, pizza, salad, water, a kit kat, +/- 1000 cal

Milk: Does NOT do the body good.

How could something so cute be anything but good for you?

I am not an anti-government yahoo. I believe the reason our Federal government has been gridlocked is because the minority party has chosen to block productivity in a cynical ploy to return to power in future election cycles, while depending on an ignorant voting public to make false equivalencies, i.e. "it's every body's fault, equally." It's not -- it's the Republican's fault and they should all be voted out to both get government functional and almost as important, prevent such destructive cynicism in something so important in our society. Stay with me, I rant for a reason.

A company like McDonald's has depended on phrases like, "as a part of balanced diet" to defend the nutritional validity of products they sell, when it seemed obvious that they are nutritionally void. When you drilled down, it became about parsing the science -- the science was just not there to prove beyond doubt that McDonalds can not be a part of a balanced diet: after all, what the hell is a balanced diet anyway?  Like the Republicans, a company like Coca Cola is not particularly interested in having the truth come out, and would rather take comfort in scientifically unsupported false equivalencies, like, "a calorie is a calorie is a calorie." A work-blocking Republican is not the same as a progressive Democrat, and a corn-syrup carb calorie is not the same as a organically humanly raised chicken protein calorie.

OK, maybe it's not that simple either, but it does help.

The point I babbled about last week is that nutrition is a young science -- it's only figuring out now what the shape of the nutritional universe might be, and therefore all the huge gaps in it. But unlike the 1000s of years it took to move from trying to turn lead to gold to modern chemistry, it's probably going to only take decades for nutritional science to start delivering the, uh, science. We may be on the cusp of that now: Milk is starting to be shown, with out guesses and presumptions or political angles and agendas, but with science, that it may not do the body good.

More and more evidence is surfacing, however, that milk consumption may not only be unhelpful, it might also be detrimental. This is in spite of the fact that the United States Department of Agriculture and other organizations advocate that even adults should drink at least three cups a day.

In study after study involving 50K-200K people, controlled for other factors, the same things keep on coming up: increasing your milk consumption has no effect on preventing broken bones or increasing bone mass, but does add unnecessary calories. Thanks to government policy that protects the dairy industry for strictly financial reasons, there has been a lot of promotional marketing that implies that milk is very healthy and good for bones. Whenever there are bills looking to tax beverages, milk products are always given a pass as being somehow healthier: they should not be.

Weight resistance training and spinach are A-OK with me!

Though some evidence points to increased cancer and obesity because of milk consumption, the science just isn't there yet, so lets not get ahead of ourselves. But beyond a shadow of a rational doubt, just as it is the Republican's fault for our dysfunctional Congress, dairy does not now or ever promote healthy bones. It is a myth promoted by those in power to get your money.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2893
Kinda surprised by the high numbers this week. 

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MONDAY COUNT: 2390

SLEPT: 8:30pm - 5am, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am, Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, falafel, tomato soup, health salad, 620 cal

PM SNACK : 3:30pm, momma salad, Grazebox crackers , 170 cal

DINNER: 6pm, mahi mahi, asparagus, poppa salad with creamy balsamic, kind bar, 690 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, +/- 300 cal
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TUESDAY COUNT: 3035

SLEPT: 9pm-5am, 8hr
Good busy day, needed some comfort food at the end. For a gorge, it wasn't too bad or out of control. Part of it was kid food being left over and not wanting to trash it.

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am,  Fage with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken meatballs, lentil curry, steamed string beans, pickles, 620 cal

PM SNACK: 2:30pm, momma salad, Grazebox cashews,  290 cal

DINNER: 5:45pm, shrimp with shiritaki noodles and shitake mushrooms, poppa salad with creamy balsamic, 515 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, kind bar, 200 cal

EVENING GORGE: 8:30pm, almond butter and chocolate syrup, half a bagel & cream cheese, half a bag of veggie straws, +/- 800 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3040

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:45am, 8.25hr
Good day, dinner out with a good friend.

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:15am,  steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, grazebox pretzels, 270 cal

LUNCH: 2:45pm, sautéed chicken breast, poppa salad with creamy balsamic, kind bar, 700 cal

DINNER: 5pm, half a shitake burger, various spreads with vegetables and bread, small amount of chocolate, +/- 600 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, Stouffers French Bread pizzas, 860 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 650 cal
THURSAY COUNT: 2910

SLEPT: 11pm-4am, 5hr
Good ride in the morning, homemade lunch, post root canal ridiculous dinner.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am,  fage with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

BIKE SNACK: 11am, granola bar, 250 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, mushroom ravioli, roasted brussels, poppa salad, 1.5 donuts, +/- 900 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, 2 packs of ramen, pint of ice cream, 1800 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 3090

SLEPT: 9pm-6:30am, 9.5hr
Productive day

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am,  fage with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, sardine and avocado on whole wheat toast, pickle, health salad, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, Grazbox edamame mix, 220 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, cookies, +/- 600 cal

DINNER: 6pm, shrimp shumai, pork tonkatsu with curry and brown rice, 1 beer, +/- 1000 cal

The Real Value of a Pound of Fat

There are a lot of pictures like this on the internet, and it is freaking me out.

Nutrition is a young science. A friend recently lent me a book that presented itself as a radical departure from commonly accepted knowledge, but as I read the preamble and introduction, a lot of the topics the author hit upon have been explored, picked apart and analyzed over the past decade or so by the likes of Michael Pollen and others traveling in his wake. I looked at the publication date and indeed, the book was from 1999 - ancient in terms of the discussion of nutrition. Nutritional science seems to be in a very awkward phase right now -- it is starting to know enough to know just how little in knows.

One common idea that has been taken as true is that a pound of calories is worth about 3,500 calories. That means if you were to burn 3,500 calories more than you consume, you will lose one pound. And from a very rudimentary perspective, it is true. One pound of any pure fat, whether it is olive oil, purified butter, animal fat or, say, human fat, if it were to be combusted in a calorie-measuring furnace device, indeed it would register about 3,500 calories. Science. But the human body, unfortunately, is not a nice square furnace with electrodes and digital read outs.

The formula comes from a simple truth: there are 3,500 calories in a pound of human fat, explains Dr. Donald Hensrud, chair of preventive medicine at the Mayo Clinic and medical editor-in-chief of The Mayo Clinic Diet. But diet and exercise cause the body to lose lean tissue and water along with fat, making it unlikely that initial weight loss truly addresses fat only. What's more, individual metabolic rates vary based on genetics, fitness level and even size: for example, a heavier person also has more muscle mass and requires more calories. The 3,500 calorie deficit will simply have a more dramatic effect on them, explains Hensrud.

When the body burns energy, it doesn't only burn fat. If you push yourself too far physically or starve yourself, your body will also start consuming your muscles, bones and internal organs to stay alive. It is not fully understood how far a person has to go to stay with just fat burning before the body looks elsewhere. Though the research is not in, it has been suggested that restricting calories is more efficient in getting the body to look for fat cells first than doing more and burning more calories, in which the speed at which fat can be accessed may be too slow and trigger the breakdown of muscles and stuff.

The take away seems to be that moderate calorie restriction and moderate exercise spread out over a long period of time will most likely result in the loss of fat, particularly if you are already have an excess of fat -- some trim person with a mental health issues looking to get rid of the last 3 oz of fat is much more likely to reduce muscle and things other than fat. It's when you start tinkering and getting impatient is where the bad stuff seems to happen. This may not be science-fact yet, but intuition seems to be pointing in that direction.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2698
An emotional week, but I got some riding in, spent quality time with kids, kept my eating reasonable, and made a little progress in the matters disrupting my life the most.

MONDAY COUNT: 2840

SLEPT: 9pm - 4:45am, 7.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, falafel, potato leek soup, health salad, pickles, 700 cal

PM SNACK : 3:30pm, momma salad, Grazebox cashews , 320 cal

DINNER: 5:45pm, mahi mahi, asparagus, poppa salad with creamy balsamic, 490 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:30pm, Mili birthday cupcake, 220 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, +/- 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, kind bar, 200 cal
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2905

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:30am, 8hr
Started to feel a bit down and maybe physically ill at the end of the day, over ate to just relieve the pressure. Good thing dinner was light.

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 8:30am,  Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, chicken meatballs, lentil curry, steamed string beans, pickles, kind bar,  880 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, shrimp with shiritaki noodles and shitake mushrooms, poppa salad with creamy balsamic, 515 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, chocolate chips & cashews, veggie straws, almond butter, child granola bar, +/- 800 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 1740
WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2455

SLEPT: 9:30pm-6:30am, 9hr
65 mile bike ride, then root canal. Hence both the pint of ice cream AND a reasonable day count.

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am,  Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

BIKE SNACK: 1pm, granola bar, 235 cal

BIKE SNACK: 1:45pm, granola bar, 235 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2:30pm, chocolate peanut butter brownie, +/- 600 cal

DINNER: 5pm, chiptole burrito, chips & salsa, poppa salad with creamy balsamic, 1605 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, pint of chocolate Haagen Daaaz, 910 cal
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THURSAY COUNT: 3010

SLEPT: 11pm-5:45am, 6.75hr
Spent the morning cooking, the afternoon presenting and hosting, pretty good day.

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am,  Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, momma salad, Grazbox nutmix, 300 cal

LINNER: 4:30pm, eggplant tomato soup, butternutsquash & tahini spread on hearty bread, goat cheese, water, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm,  a little chocolate and raspberries, +/- 100 cal

DUNCH: 8pm, eggplant and tomato soup with 2 meat balls, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 11:30pm, bunniegrams, 400 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2280

SLEPT: 12:15am-6am, 5.75hr
Good day, lots of kid activity, reflected in the food, but I was able to keep it on a leash, partially due to feeling bleah from lack of sleep...

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am,  Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm, 1 slice streetza, +/-400 cal

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, momma salad, Grazbox nutmix, 270 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, hotdog, fries, ice cream, water +/- 1000 cal

Communing with Ghosts and Subway Sandwiches

Staten Island, figuratively fading in my mind and literally fading due to climate change.

On Monday, I took the time to set myself straight by communing with the ghosts of the borough I grew up on, Staten Island. Every neighborhood, street, and store was overlaid by a memory of what once was. By the water in the Midland Beach neighborhood, much of the housing is built on recovered swampland and was pretty destroyed by Sandy. A house had a spray-painted sign that read something like, "Thank you Gov. Cuomo for the buyout and giving the land back to mother nature." Being Staten Island, I wasn't sure if this sign was earnest or sarcastic. 

On my journey through the past coming up the western spine of the island, I passed the garbage dump (now on the cusp of becoming a huge swath of public park land) on the left and the Staten Island Mall on the right (now on the cusp of becoming just another dead mall eaten by the internet.) There was a great Jewish Deli with a train care indoors you could dine in just down the way. Many "husky" jeans were bought at that mall. My dad would delight in the "Dollar Store" in the 80s, one of the first of it's kind in the area. All the dining options in this car-centric swathe of faux-New Jersey were kinda sad and chained, so I chose the least evil possible. I went to a Subway for my usual vegeburger.

Think Subway corporate will be in touch to buy my story?

As my sandwich was being assembled, the next guy asks the man behind the counter what foot longs are $5. The man behind the counter, perhaps in his 40s and around my age, looked soft, pale, doughy and a naturally slack look on his face. He started to explain to the man that they don't have any for $5 anymore, the ones on special are $5.50, and started reading the big menu board over head out loud to the customer. It was an odd moment -- a man asks a question that can be answered by simply looking up, another man answers by looking up and reading to him. 

I glance at the man who was placing the order -- again, about my age, mid 40s, also soft, pale, doughy and a naturally slack face interrupted by an unironic mustache. He amiably orders a foot long meatball and cheese sub on white Italian bread, along with soda and chips. As I watch to make sure no jalapeños are placed on my 6" vegeburger on whole wheat (no cheese) I calculate how many calories this man is about to imbibe. His sandwich is about 1300 cal, his chips another 300, his 20oz soda another 500 -- easily over 2000, which is about 3/4 of my own daily intake. As my mind buzzes and ticks away, the man ordering the meatball sub says to me, "Hey, whattaya getting there?" I turn my head, smile tightly, and grunt, "Vegeburger". 

Photo estimation of Unironic Mustache Man in the prime of life.

I notice the man is actually relatively thin of frame, but has a large beer belly; clearly he's a naturally skinny guy who just consumes way too many calories. We make eye contact through my wrap-around sunglasses and he glances at his sandwich, and says, "Yep, well that's why you look the way you do and that's why I look the way I do!" We both briefly chortle at our selves as I go take my seat. As I ate my sandwich, fritos, diet coke and played with my phone, I have to admit that was quite a compliment. 

A year or two ago the misshapen man with the mustache would not have said that -- I was 40-odd pounds heavier and also prone to eating more than my fair share, too. For a fat, unmindfully eating stranger with nothing to gain making light of just how different we are was just fantastic -- it's a confirmation of the reality I've been trying slowly, brick by brick, to make for myself. I was hoping for some lightness and hope on this ride, and did not expect it from a random SI goomba in a rather sad Subway outlet by the mall. 

The Staten Island of my youth.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2118

Artificially low because I didn't count Thursday, which I suspect was a 4000 calorie day.

BIKE CREDIT: 1150
MONDAY COUNT: 2290

SLEPT: 10pm - 5:30am, 7.5 hrs
Road around the perimeter of SI, communing with ghosts.

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am,  Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

BIKE SNACK : 11:30am, momma salad, Grazebox nut mix , 300 cal

BIKE SNACK 2: 12:45pm, granola bar, 250

BIKE SNACK 2: 1:30pm, granola bar, 250

LUNCH: 2:30pm, Subway veggie burger, fritos, diet coke, 760 cal

DINNER: 6:15pm, mahi mahi, roasted brussels, pickels, poppa salad with creamy balsamic, 570 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:45pm, 2 kind bars, 400 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, +/- 300 cal
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TUESDAY COUNT: 2600

SLEPT: 9:15pm-5:45am, 8.5hr
Good day to the zoo with Edie (off from school due to Election Day), cooking for special friends in the evening, a pretty great day.

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:15am,  Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

AM SNACK: 10:30am, momma salad, Grazebox seedmix , 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, mushroom curry, roasted brussels, pickles, 690 cal

DINNER: 6pm, shrimp in ramp butter, mushroom risotto, asparagus, black bread with blue cheese and sausage, fudge brownie, +/- 1000 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3035

SLEPT: 9:15pm-5am, 7.75 hr
Lunch with a friend in the evening, root canal in the evening. Definitely effected what went in my mouth, and excess calories, but hopeful this was an exception to the rules.

AM SNACK: 5:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am,  Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm, Thai-like pulled pork sandwich, +/- 700 cal

PM SNACK: 1:45pm, momma salad, Grazebox cracker mix , 200 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, 2 kind bars, 400 cal

DINNER: 5pm, grilled chicken breast, poppa salad, 425 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, almond butter and chocolate syrup, mushroom risotto, small quantity of chocolate chips, +/- 800 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: N/A

SLEPT: 10:30pm-3:30am,  5  hr
Good productive morning, spent the rest of the day with a friend doing what is now legal in several states after the last election. Did eat WAY too much, but it was social and special.

AM SNACK: 4am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, whole fage with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

AM SNACK: 11 am, momma salad, Grazebox popcorn , 230 cal

-Lost Afternoon & Evening-

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BIKE CREDIT: 900
FRIDAY COUNT: 1690

SLEPT: 10:30pm-5:30am,  7  hr
Nice bike ride in the morning. Daily count skewed because I consumed so much the day before.

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 11am, granola bar, 250 cal

BIKE SNACK: 12 noon, granola bar, 250 cal

LUNCH: 2:45pm, sardine and avocado on whole wheat toast, pickles, health salad, 620 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, cheezits, 310 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, Ethiopian vegetarian food, +/- 800 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, ice cream, cake, pastry cream, +/- 200 cal

Monthly Weigh In: Reassesment

192.8-->196.6-->201.2
Almost forgot to weigh in this morning, and when I did, it read 205 and I thought, "Oh, that looks like a good number!" But when I went to plug it into the spreadsheet…whoops. Thats not good at all. I thought I had stayed the same or went down this month -- my clothing seems to fit fine, my health is great. 

However, due to weather, cycling tapering off, my average calorie counts have been a solid 500 cal above where it was when I was losing weight - thats an extra 2,500 calories a week; there is a controversial calculation that you need to take in an extra 3,500 calories to gain a pound, but that's a topic for a stand-alone entry.

I just need to refocus, cut out evening snacks, regardless of how healthy they are (hello, kind bars), and get back on track. There is too much going on right now to obsess over my weight, good things in my personal and professional life, but that has it's own kind of anxiety and stress that maybe I've treated a bit with food? Gonna start looking closer, starting Monday.

Update: I reweighed Saturday morning and indeed some of the "gain" was just natural day-to-day fluctuation, but still -- the trend is steady and it is not good. I'm 10 lbs off my lightest, not 15. I'm confident that mindfulness of my consumption can reverse this trend. I will keep eating what I'm eating, just a little less of it, and start my cold-weather routine of shorter bike rides alternating with weight lifting. Maybe you people can help me out a bit? I'm feeling a little bit vulnerable over here! 

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2767

Yep, hope that number is gonna start looking closer to 2300, may not be easy, but I've done it before...

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MONDAY COUNT: 2,550

SLEPT: 8pm-10:30pm, 12am-5:45am, 1:30pm-2:30pm 9.25 hr
Long low-impact day on bike with kids on Sunday, got a lot of sleep all weekend, nice to see the number reflect that.

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am,  Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, falafel, cream of mushroom soup, health salad, pickles, 810 cal 

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, momma salad, Grazebox nut mix , 330 cal

DINNER: 8pm, 2 kind bars, a few spoonfuls of vegan ice cream, peanut butter, 1 cookie, +/- 800 cal
Not the dinner planned for, but just had a dentist app't and had a temporary filling put in, tried to eat just some calorie dense stuff with the good side of my mouth to just prevent me from being hungry.
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TUESDAY COUNT: 3085

SLEPT: 9:15pm-4:45am, 7.5hr
Good day, functional teeth. Not looking forward to root canal a week from tomorrow

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am,  Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds, vanilla, 450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, chicken meatballs, curry lentils, steamed string beans, pickles, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, Grazebox candied almonds , 315 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, tilapia, asparagus, poppa salad with Ceasar dressing, 680 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm: popcorn, kind bar, a few lomein noodles, +/- 800 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2755

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:30am, 8 hr
Stressful day, things are shifting under my feet, but I'm still standing.

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am,  Steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, sautéed chicken breast, roasted brussel sprouts, quinoa,  pickles, 635 cal 

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, Grazebox seed mix , 310 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm,  poppa salad with Cesar dressing, 200 cal

DINNER: 7pm, tempura shrimpa nd veg with some brown rice, miso soup, water, +/- 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, 2 kind bars, 400 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2635

SLEPT: 11pm-5am, 6  hr
Getting my bearings. Nice dinner with a new friend.

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, whole fage with honey, vanilla and almonds, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45am, vegetarian meatballs, sauteed mushrooms and onions, pickles, 595cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, Grazebox oat crackers , 230 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm,  poppa salad with Cesar dressing, 200 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, vegetarian dim sum +/- 700 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, cookies,+/- 300 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2810

SLEPT: 11:30pm-5:30am, 6  hr
Last day at the freelance gig I've toiled at for that 18 months. Onwards!

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie, 500 cal

LUNCH: 12:15am, almond butter and jelly on whole wheat, health salad, pickles, 640cal

PM SNACK: 2:30 pm, momma salad, cheezits , 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, small amount of Halloween candy, +/- 200 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, hotdog, fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal