Requiem for a Cupcake

Crumbs cross-section: a frosting delivery system.

This past week, social media was atwitter with smug "nyah nyah nyahs" about a chain of cupcake bakeries named "Crumbs" which had suddenly and swiftly closed all of their 65  shops. A good friend on Facebook pretty much summarized gestalt when she commented on an article about the closing,

During my years in finance someone would get Crumbs for the office at least three times a week, despite the fact that no one seemed to like them--dry and bland. Is this the end of cupcakes tyrannical rule?….Cupcakes, in corporate America, are a way of saying, "we are aware it is the day of your birth, fellow coworker, and in efforts to make minimal acknowledgement of this we have pooled a very small amount of money to purchase a clam shell of stale pastries that you will barely eat." Everyone picks at them and leaves behind a technicolor pile of sadness.

Wheres mah cupcakes?!

What is this all about then? I like cupcakes! It's all Sex & the City's fault. The first bakery famous for specializing in cupcakes was Magnolia Bakery in the West Village, established in 1996. When the four shoe-crazy gals of S&tC became a late 90s cultural phenomenon, legions of (mostly female) fans went gah-gah to imitate them in both fashion, drink (cosmos FTW) and eats. The two most notable food trends on the show aligned with the gay-positive culture the characters embraced: brunch, and Magnolia cupcakes. It was a thing.

I'm not ashamed to admit I watched S&tC when it was on. Even though it was set in my present day NYC, it felt like I was watching some sort of social study of a foreign tribe in a strange land, with lots of sex. Even when the bloom was off the rose, I attended an opening night screening of the first S&tC movie with a gaggle of 7 or 8 women, and I baked a batch of butter cream cupcakes for us eat in the theater. (I'm comfortable enjoying the Gay Pride Parade too, don't judge!)

Once upon a time, this was a cultural touchstone. 

Overlay the artisanal-izing and specializing of small food businesses, and through out the aughts we'd see trends that would celebrate, revitalize and gild everything from cupcakes and donuts to hot dogs and pizza.

With "foodie" becoming a popular descriptor of those who both consumed and produced small-batch non-industrial goodies, the cupcake's cultural cachet increased because unlike the skill and equipment needed to make a hot dog or ice cream from scratch, everybody grew up with a parent who could transform a box of Betty Crocker mix into a hand-sized bit of pleasure. With social media growing ever more dominant, Cupcake Camp became an inevitability.

My friend Mary Ann became the spearhead of this volunteer, free viral event here in NYC. Essentially, it was a formalization of a "cookie exchange", the kind of pre-holiday party where everyone bakes a couple dozen cookies and at the party you swap and you come away with a couple of dozen cookies of all sorts. In Cupcake Camp, volunteer bakers would make the cupcakes, feed a bunch of attendees for a minimal price to cover venue and the like, a competition, and a lot of hoopla. Being low-budget in nature, no one made money, no charity was  benefited, but people who baked and people who ate became a lot closer to the object of their affection, the cupcake.

On a side note, I participated as a baker at this event. As a pizza loyalist and not a great lover of cupcakes but a loyal friend to Mary Ann, I baked the most obnoxious cupcake possible. Basically a savory pizza-cupcake (IT'S A MUFFIN!! you yell, but I could not hear you.) Whole wheat 'cake' sweetened mildly with honey, studded with fresh basil and oregano, topped with smooth whipped ricotta, topped with half a grape tomato to resemble a cherry. I can imagine 12 people each grabbing one, taking one bite, saying, "WTF?" and tossing it out quickly. Suffice to say, I did not win but I did enjoy standing tall against cupcake hysteria.

It's a WHAT? I can't hear you.

On the blog for the NYC event, Mary Ann describes how the 1st event in 2009 resulted in cupcakes being thrown away, but 2010 saw a surge in participation and was a bit overwhelming. By 2011 the interest and energy had passed, undoubtedly sapped away a little by the commodification of the cupcake trend by corporate interests…like Crumbs.

It's no surprise about the glee in which people mocked the downfall of Crumbs. Crumbs took a food trend that came out of a gay neighborhood, amplified by a cultural exciting TV show, brought to the foodie hipster masses by social media, and dumbed it down for the lowest common denominator. It made it bigger, sweeter and added frills like candy and other off-putting things. Rather than grow slowly and naturally, it took money from Wall Street at the height of the trend and promptly became the cupcake shop that a lot of people liked, kind of, but no one loved.

My cupcake provider of choice.

Some castaways from the original Magnolia opened up Sugar Sweet Sunshine in my neighborhood in the early aughts. It has not sold their name or expanded to other locations. The size of their cupcakes are the same size my mom would have made. They are always supper fresh, the cake part is never too sweet and the frosting always is, just as it should be. As long as they never change, I would love for them to open up other locations, the same way my favorite donut purveyor, the Donut Plant, has somehow managed to expand globally while maintaining tight quality controls.

Then again, Crumbs might go the way of Dippin' Dots and just refuse to die. We'll see.

-----

WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2792

Not thrilled with the average, but other than emotionally eating too much ice cream Friday afternoon, I kind kept it reasonable and in control most of the week. Thursday night saw fancy dinner with a friend I don't see often enough, but it was so late I had to snack down to just stay upright and ruined my appetite for dinner. Oh well, adult problems.

-----

MONDAY COUNT: 2480

SLEPT: 11pm-6am, 7 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 8:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, falafel and hummus, tomato soup, health salad, pickles, 720 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, Grazebox nut mix , 330 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, broiled flounder, roasted asparagus, poppa salad with ranch dressing, 520 cal


EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, homemade popcorn, +/- 300 cal

-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 2525

SLEPT: 10pm - 4am, 2pm-3pm, 7 hrs
Thank goodness for the nap room at work.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken meatballs, mushroom masala, steamed string beans, pickles, 590 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, Grazebox candied almonds, 310 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, grilled chicken breast, roasted brussel sprouts, poppa salad with Italian dressing, 665 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, homemade popcorn, +/- 300 cal

-----

WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2800

SLEPT: 9pm-1:30am, 4:15am-5:45am, 3pm-4:30pm, 7.5 hrs
Woke up in the middle of the night, just couldn't get back to sleep, ugg.

AM SNACK: 1:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 8am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, grilled chicken breast, roasted brussel sprouts, quinoa, pickles, 745 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30 pm, momma salad, Grazebox herby crackers , 200 cal

PM SNACK: 5:45pm, poppa salad with Italian dressing, 180 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, pork tonkatsu with white rice and curry sauce, vegetable  dumplings, +/- 700 cal cal

-----

BIKE CREDIT: 685 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 2935

SLEPT: 10pm - 2am, 4 hrs
Good strong early morning ride, set out a little earlier than usual due to not being able to get back to sleep. I think my recent lack of normal sleep might be the hot weather, I need air conditioning to sleep but it ends up making my lungs and throat feel off.

AM SNACK:2:30am, iced green tea, granola bar, 150mg caffeine, 295 cal

BIKE SNACK: 4:45am, granola bar, 295 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 500 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken sausage, black beans, roasted broccoli, pickles, 590 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad,  grazebox crackers and dip, 200 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with Italian, 180 cal

PM SNACK: 7:30pm, mac n' cheese, almond butter & chocolate syrup, +/- 800 cal
Very tired, felt myself bonking before dinner reservations, had to eat something dense or I would have been legless and discombobulated.

DINNER: 8pm, bread, a little pizza, a little meaty pasta, water, +/- 600 cal
Good meal, good company, but brought most of it home.

-----

FRIDAY COUNT: 3220

SLEPT: 11pm - 4am, 5 hrs
Lack of sleep is wearying me. My alarm was set for 5:30am, but again I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 8:30am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

AM SNACK: 11:45am, momma salad,  cheezits, 310 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, sable, knish, mac n' cheese, pickle, health salad, granola bar, +/- 700 cal
Brought a picnic to work to eat in Central Park with a friend.

PM SNACK: 4pm, work ice cream, +/- 600 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm,hotdog, fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal