Just Say No to (Corporate) Drugs

Last Sunday afternoon I was on the couch after a casually mellow bike ride, munching down on a a brick of Chinese food, a box of chocolaty butter cookies and a small container of Hagen Jerries*, when the commercial above came on the boob toob. I started laughing my ass off, as I wasn't sure if I was watching a real commercial or a Saturday Night Live spoof.** After it's brief, soft-focus promise to relieve us of not knowing when to stop eating, or "willpower", it went into what seemed like an eternal list of potential side effects and health threats. As long as your not pregnant, on mood-stabilizing drugs or operating heavy machinery, you can enjoy stiff muscles, excessive sweating, damage to heart valves, troubled breathing, generalized swelling, irregular heart beat, "mental problems", suicidal ideation, prolonged erections and random lactation. And that's all before the common  side effects of headache, dizziness, fatigue, dry mouth, nausea, constipation, back pain and coughing. But hey, you can call the 800 number to get 15 days free!***

Apocalypse: The heavens swallow the land, dogs lie down with cats, and I identify more with the hippy than the meme author...

Belviq is a drug that scrambles your brain chemistry to trigger hormones usually sent by your stomach that tell your brain that you feel full after a meal.....uhhhh, maybe. From the Belviq site,

The precise way BELVIQ® produces feelings of satisfaction is not fully understood.

Rock n roll! They don't know how it works, not sure why it works for some and not for others, and can't really predict if it'll help with your "willpower" or make you kill yourself, blow your heart out, or cause you to randomly lactate (and I'm not sure if they are referring to just women, either.)

Not long after having a giggle fit with the TV, the radio filled me with murderous rage. There was a piece on NPR about the rise of "Low T Clinics", where men who feel vaguely "less than" can get shots of this hormone. One bit in particular caught my attention (emphasis mine):

Yet even as calls for closer scrutiny of the treatment intensify, the clinics continue to draw in men like Greg Lucas. At 25, Lucas was single and a rising star at a Dallas software company. But he didn't quite feel right — his energy, his sleep, his libido were all lagging. He was having trouble managing his weight, too.
His symptoms sounded a lot like those described in an advertisement for low testosterone. So Lucas decided to do what the ad recommended: talk to his doctor.
"His first response was, 'OK, let's do a blood test and see where you're at,' " recalls Lucas. "Following that, my blood test returned a rating that was in the normal range for the lab and he said that was fine."
Lucas protested: His levels, after all, were in the bottom 5 percent of normal — that seemed out of step for a 25-year-old man. Lucas was seriously overweight, and his doctor advised him to diet and get more exercise.

Diet? Exercise? Let's do some drugs and PAR-TAY!!

In the radio piece, Lucas says something like, "I tried to eat less and get fit, but come on, who can do that?" It was around that point I wanted to reach into the radio and punch Lucas in the face, as here is another place where people are mistaking their addictions to the sugar/salt/fat drug bombs of our current food culture as simply an unquestionable lack of "willpower" whose only solution are stone-cold hard drugs. It also made me think: Does low testosterone cause one to become a McFatty Boombatty, or does excess weight suppress the creation of testosterone?

(Low T) leads to decreased muscle mass, a gain in fat (especially in the belly), less energy, sapped libido, erectile dysfunction, brain fog, and more. Not all symptoms occur in all men, of course. Sleep deprivation, stress, nutrition, exercise, genetics factors, and personal health and family relationships can all influence how you experience those symptoms, which range from mild to severe.

British men, on the other hand, suffer from High Tea.

Reading through the NPR piece, Wikipedia and other sources, the impression I get is that scientists don't really know the safety or harm of testosterone supplements (yet), or the causes of Low T to begin with. I can speak from my own personal experience, one anecdote of one person on a blog, that certain functioning of my body usually related to testosterone has, urrr, improved in the past couple of years as I've lost weight and gained fitness, despite my slipping into middle age. Had my smaller mass allowed the same amount of testosterone to have a bigger effect? Is it all in my head? Scientists don't seem to know yet.

In regards to "willpower", I'll give Mark Bittman the last word, who touched on it recently:

Your environment teaches you what comfort food is. Until recently, before marketing penetrated every cranny of our being, family and friends had the biggest impact: the stuff that made them happy made you happy. You can self-train your way out if it, as many of us have, and save it for special occasions.

*Marijuana is still a schedule 1 narcotic in the eyes of the Feds, equated with heroin and classed as more harmful than meth and cocaine. It's still not legal where I am except for the most specific of limited prescribed medical uses, so I'm NOT going to go on record and say I would do something as illegal and incredibly harmful as eat a mild PCP-laced baked good to unwind and focus on a mid-afternoon solo bike ride. Not gonna do it.

** I was stoned.....ON LIFE.

***Just say no to drugs! 

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On it's face, it looks like I fell the fuck off on my decadent solo Wednesday night dinner, but this was different on several levels. A long time ago, if I were to eat so heavily on a weekday by myself, in the midst of trying to control my eating, I would despair and give up. This time, I was honestly hungry and activity looking to kinda mark the day, celebrate several things, including:

• Acknowledging to myself that I'm doing well, losing 5 pounds last month, and accepting that increased hunger is a welcome friend, as it is a side product of my increased bike riding.
• Spending a little money on myself, due to April being the first month I met my savings goal towards the future since I started focusing on my finances when all that bad stuff happened around the turn of the year.
• Celebrating the news that my freelance work gig is funded and secure through the rest of the year, and local government just forced them to give me paid sick days for myself or if I need to care for my chillinz (!)
• Patting myself on the back for getting through a month and  half of a non-working oven and stove top, retaining my structure while exploring some new meals.

I ate dinner at a place near Times Square, a restaurant I used to eat regularly at when I worked in the area years ago. Back then, pre-culinary school and pre-self-knowledge, I enjoyed it but didn't appreciate it. This night, it was both ordinary and amazing….and I probably won't eat there again for another year, or sooner if with a friend. The cupcakes were picked up on the way home from Magnolia, a place I never tried (and never need to again) and the slice was from a local place in my 'hood -- wasn't even hungry, just wanted the sensory experience of eating a slice, something I wouldn't usually allow myself but I purposefully wanted to cap my meal off in a special way. In the past, this would have been thoughtless and compulsive, now it's purposeful, thoughtful and fully appreciated. (Of course, if this meal starts popping up in regular, please, readers, smack me a few times!)
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2890

High cal count, but got a midweek ride in and the weekend before and after this log is bookended by some heavy riding, so I'm not gonna snivel about it.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2925

SLEPT: 7:30pm - 4:30am, 9 hrs
Kept eating tight all day but just felt deeply unsatisfied and peckish after dinner. The kind bars were nice but their mild sweetness was enough to set me on to the only 'junk' food in the house, the chewy granola bars with chocolate chips which are usually the kid's snacks. Full o' sugar, these are really candy bars with the fig leaf of rolled oats in them. 

AM SNACK: 5:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 8:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal, 400 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, falafel, health salad, Fairway tomato basil soup, pickles, 715 cal

PM SNACK: 3:45pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

DINNER: 6;15pm: Ethiopian lentils and chicken stew, poppa salad with lite Italian, 620 cal

EVENING GORGE: 6:45pm, 2 kind bars, 3 chewy granola bars, one ritz cracker and cheese spread snack, 800 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2605

SLEPT: 8:15pm - 4:45am, 8.5 hrs
Good sleep with the chillun', woke up feeling well in the tummy so I'm going to go out on a limb and say the 'gorge' of last night was not so bad.

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, potato spinach curry ,pickles, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, veggie straws , 150 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, beef & shrimp patties, poppa salad with light Italian, 930 cal

EVENING SNACK: 6:45pm, 3 chewy granola bars, 1 kind bar, 500 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3105

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 2:45am, 5.25 hrs
Good day, despite the excess calories.

AM SNACK: 3am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 400 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, health salad, pickles, 590 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, cheezits , 310 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with light Italian, 110 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 340 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, Pork Curry Katsu with rice & raw cabbage, pork gyoza, 2 cupcakes, slice of streetza, +/- 1,200 

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BIKE CREDIT: 550 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 3085

SLEPT: 9:30pm - 4am, 6.5 hrs
Rain prevented early riding, so lifted weights. Poppa salad went bad, bleah. Casual ride in the late afternoon with a friend, indulged in some serious Georgian food (the country, not the state, but might as well have been because the centerpiece was basically a bread bowl filled with gooey cheese, with a raw egg mixed into it when it hit the table. Kinda like a mash up of pizza, grilled cheese and the Kozachok (y'know that Russian dance where y'squat, fold your arms and kick your legs...)

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, TVP "meat"balls, mushroom masala, steamed string beans, pickles, 630 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

BIKE SNACK: 5:45pm, homemade granola bar, 250 cal

BIKE SNACK: 6:30pm, kind bar, 200 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Georgian food including kafta-like kabob, salad, cheesy bread, dumplings, water, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, digestives, small apple pie, 880 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2730

SLEPT: 11pm - 6am, 7 hrs
Ate out more than I would have liked, but it was all social and happy, a good Friday.

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, Shrimp in garlic sauce, veg fried rice, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, cheezits, 320 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, fish poboy, fries, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal