Drill Down: Granola Bars

Artisanal, preening, pretentious....Hippie Chow.

I had an aunt who was a hippy in the 60s, well into the 70s. Even worse, she was also a vegetarian, which back then was equivalent to being a commie or a -gasp- homosexual.* One time my family were brought to a hippy-run vegetarian restaurant upstate by this aunt, and the food was laughably awful -- poorly cooked grains, too much cheese, not enough flavor over all. Back then, even amongst the vegetarian community, there was less awareness of the key place vegetables and fruit hold in a healthy diet than there is today -- and forget about cooking them. Original 60s style vegetable cookery was overcooked and blasted to hell (and such small portions!) It took some time for myself (and for the rest of society) to get over that initial impression of vegetarianism.

But there is a dirty-hippy food I eat on a regular basis. In fact, it holds a small but very important place in my diet routine. "Granola" was a term of dismissal and derision back in the day for hippy, swapped interchangeably with "crunchy", which I assume was a descriptive of granola's texture. Granola is one of those hippy ur-foods, and continues to have a happy-healthy-alt vibe to it from the association. But granola is much more old school than that.

Does this man know he is the #1 hit for the "Dirty Hippie" google image search?

Starting in the late 1800s, "Granula" was trademarked by a doc at a "sanitarium" (known today as a health spa), but it was just crumbed up whole grain products that were then baked to crispy. A German fellow named Jackson moved to the US in the 50s and missed rolled oats, so started his own "granula" company, Sunny Crunch Foods in the 70s, which was probably the most 70s name for a 70s granola company ever. However,..

A similar cereal was developed by John Harvey Kellogg. It too was initially known as Granula, but the name was changed to Granola to avoid legal problems with Jackson.
The food and name were revived in the 1960s, and fruits and nuts were added to it to make it a health food that was popular with the hippie movement. At the time, several people claim to have revived or re-invented granola. 

Kellog's Count Granula never took off, but when General Mills added some chocolaty goodness....

My first encounter with granola as a non-disgusting-hippy food was in the 80s, with the first marketing of mass-produced granola bars. Dry, brittle, overly sweet and tasting like peanut butter and sawdust, eventually the sugar, fat and salt were pumped up in the right ratio to create the pseudo-healthy candy bars we now call granola bars today.

How low the nutritionally mighty have fallen.

The definition of modern granola is rolled oats, toasted along side nuts, sometimes mixed with seeds and dried fruit. To cook oats and nuts properly, a fat is usually added. For many years, I used this recipe, and it served me well, never failing to excite the HVS when I gave her a bag of it as a gift of affection. However, granola has changed for me over the years after culinary school, as it's become extraordinarily useful as it's gotten even more delicious.

They forgot the granola, which would today be around step 4, but moving up quickly...

Nowadays, you can't swing a bat at a food fair without braining some hipster whose selling his or her own line of artisanal, precious granola. It's not surprising, because truth be told, it's damn easy to make, it's damn easy to make it delicious, and it's damn easy to make it uber-nutritious. My current granola is thus:

• 4 cups rolled oats
• 4 cups "nut mix", lightly food processed
• 1/2 cup "sweeter mix"
• 1/2 cup coconut oil
• 1/8 cup molasses
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp cardamon

I usually grab every nut I can find in the bulk section of Fairway, a little of each until it weighs about 2 lbs, almonds, pistachios, Brazil nuts, sometimes sunflower seeds, anything except peanuts. The sweetener is anything except white sugar -- dark brown sugar, maple syrup and agave end up in there. It's key to throw in molasses for two reasons -- it's crazy nutritious and adds a wonderful Cracker Jack-like caramel depth. (Though warning: a little molasses is great, a lot of mollasses makes for a burnt, gross tasting, barely edible mess.)

Mix everything together, spread on a baking sheet, and bake in a pre-heated 400 degree oven about 40 to 50 minutes, turning & mixing up the granola thoroughly every ten minutes until done. Granola should be golden, and the most wonderful smells should be filling up your kitchen.

My granola-baking-in-kitchen face

The thing about granola is: yes, it is "healthy". It's full of fiber, nutrients, good fats, and even protein. It's also extremely calorie dense. This is a partially refined grain, along with naturally fat-laden nuts, usually amped up with a little sweetener. It doesn't take a lot of granola to eat multiple times your normal calorie needs.

However, when I'm cycling and my calorie needs sometimes double or triple, at the same time my stomach tightens from the strenuous activity, making it difficult to eat large quantities of anything -- you'll never see a long-haul cyclist chowing down on a big lunch of salad and rice cakes. Granola is pretty much the perfect biking food -- low in mass, dense in calories, but....a big mess to chow down on. Granola is great with milk, eaten with a spoon but no one wants a bowl of cereal in their jersey pocket.

If your granola bar mortar looks like this, you probably need to read the recipe again.

So the bar. After the granola is cooked and cooled, I make the granola bar "mortar":

• 1 cup almond butter
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 1 cup sweetener mix
• 1 tbsp salt
• 1 tbsp vanilla extract
• 8 whole eggs, lightly scrambled
• 1/2 cup ground flax or chia seed

Put all ingredients except eggs in a small pot, heat gently and mix until homogeneous, allow to cool a few minutes. Coat cooled granola with eggs,  then pour in mortar and get your hands dirty, mix thoroughly so there are no dry pockets. Press the mess into a lined & greased glass baking dish, and bake at 300 for about 30 minutes. Once cooled, place in freezer. Cut into bars after it's frozen (the bars will be ragged if cut when at room temp.) Will keep in the freezer for a solid 4-5 months.  Though calorie counts will vary, I've found that a sheet cut into 24 pieces about 475 calories per bar.

Friends who have eaten these granola bars seem to dig them, unsurprising since it's (mildly) sweet and full o' many calories of wonderful fat. No one nut flavor dominates, it's almost like a nut fruit-punch.  I love them because they're a dependable source of high calories and high nutrition. I may not have elevated a damn croissant-donut hybrid, but I have given myself a reason to forgive my aunt for her crunchy past.

*Back then it was "bad" i.e. faced a lot more prejudice and crap to be communist or gay. I am not expressing an opinion that lefties or gay people are bad. Today, it's great to be a pinko pinkster. Being a vegetarian today, however, ick, gross, that's just beyond the pale. Just so we're clear.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2343

Hard week. Lot of work hours put in, but got my health, kids and kept up on my weights, riding and mostly good eating. Next week, weigh in. Friends who only see me every 3-4 months all comment how I look skinnier than the last time I've seen them, despite only losing a couple of pounds or so in that time period. And true, my clothes are getting progressively baggier, particular the new items I bought when I first started to lose weight. I guess what I'm babbling about is if I only lose another .5 pounds next week or (-gasp-) stay the same or (-GAAAH!-) go up a bit, it'll probably be a credit to my fat/muscle ratio, not a falling into the pit of Fritos and M&Ms.

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MONDAY COUNT:2080

SLEPT: 8:30pm-4am, 7.5 hours

AM SNACK: 4:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, chicken meatballs, madras lentils, steamed string beans, 660 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, mahi mahi, roasted asparagus, kimchi, fritos, 650 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 640
TUESDAY COUNT: 2400

SLEPT: 8:30pm-3am, 6.5 hours

Excellent early morning bike ride out to Coney.

AM SNACK: 3:15am, iced green tea, granola bar, 575 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, matzoh ball soup, health salad, pickle, 600

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, chicken breast, broccoli, quinoa, 690

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2255+

SLEPT: 8:30pm-4am, 7.5 hours

Decent night's sleep, though ideally I could fit in 8 hours. Woke up to do misc. chores around the house, like finally clean the windows inside and out, first time since the air conditioners came out. Y'know, manly man stuff.

Went off the rails in the evening and ate two small bowls of peanut m&ms. Upon reflection, I kinda know why, causes that are under my control in a roundabout way. Regardless, it's not enough to knock me off my path....

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm,chicken breast, broccoli, quinoa, kimchi, 710

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, stir fried shiritaki noodles & shrimp with mushrooms and black bean sauce, 475cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, Fritos, 300 cal

BINGE: 9pm, peanut m&ms, +/- 800 cal

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THURSDY COUNT: 2370

SLEPT: 10pm-4am, 6 hours

Woke up feeling OK,  stomach was fine, even a little hungry, which is normal. Got a good weight lifting session in, helped me get my head a little straight. Not a terrible eating day, but had two meals of fast food due to a lunch that I think has run it's course (see below)

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:30am, Special K,whole milk, +/- 400 cal
Forgot to pack breakfast, considered picking up a McD's sausage thing, but remembered the new offic supplies cereals and milk, so thought this might be easier on my system, considering the peanut M&Ms still rattling around.

LUNCH: 1:15pm, double quarter pounder, diet coke
Ugg. Brought lunch. This is what I wrote before I ate it: "This has got to be my least favorite lunch, it needs to go The chicken sausage is "italian" style, but has too much fennel. The beans, which I made myself, also have too much fennel and too much liquid, not enough starch in the sauce. The only good thing is the beans, which were in this week's CSA. Gotta come up with a new work lunch for the rotation."After sitting down to eat, I took a bite of the beans and it was tough and stringy, too long on the vine. That matched with the fennel up my nose made me almost gag. I promptly tossed it and went to Mickey Ds. Not gonna beat myself up.

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, chips, diet coke, 760

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2610

SLEPT: 10:30pm - 5:30am, 7 hours

Arrived at work at 7:30am to get a jump on things, brought my smoothie with me. Edie was up at 6, so I got to spend some quality time with her and bonded over making the 'noisy ice cream' together.

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie, 410 cal

LUNCH: noon, almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, cabbage slaw, momma salad, 690 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 5pm, pork burrito & tortilla chips, ice cream +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, cheetos, 300 cal
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WEEKEND REPORT:
Started over eating Friday night after 8, hit it hard all day Saturday. Sunday was the Tour de Bronx, which I rode with Edie and a short-stack of friends and associates, and that ride is famous for having minimal snackage. We hit up a pizza place or Arthur Ave after, and ate a bit too much junk when I got home (frito-MnM salad, anyone?) which lead to some tummy problems over night. Calorie-wise, only a little over the top Sunday, but the body does not appreciate it.

Have you read this entry to the end? Congratulations! Let me tell you about my belly button lint, it's an artisanal mash of lint, sweat and the finest of dead skin cells....

Cronut™, no.

F you.

In the foodie culture of NYC, it seems different sweet baked goods are being celebrated in a cycle. It is like how the gossip press elevate and tear down celebrities in an unending, deeply frivolous cycle: it encourages people to continue to buy the magazines and watch the "news" programs. The first such cycle in recent memory was cupcakes.

This was probably my favorite, for a few reasons. One, a cupcake is something a parent can make with a child - it is both a treat and utilitarian and has a nice individual serving size. It's flexible enough that you can really supercharge the quality and creativity of the item or you can strip it down to Betty Crocker mix and a tub of shelf-stable frosting and it's still not going to be that bad. Secondly, I have a friend who is a bit of a foodie and was way into cupcakes, so in that she created and ran a big cupcake event a few years in a row.

I actually participated in the last one, because it so reflected the common-man greatness of how anyone can do a cupcake and I wanted to share my friend's enthusiasm. There was a minimal charge to enter the event, but if you made a dozen cupcakes and brought them, you got in for free, got entered in competition and were among the first to eat as many f'ing cupcakes as you could get down your throat. (Being both in the middle of a period of pizza-obsession and naturally contrary, I made "pizza cupcakes": lightly sweetened whole-wheat muffin studded with basil and oregano, filled with sweetened marscapone, topped with a floret of sweetened ricotta and topped with a half grape-tomato to resemble a cherry. Suffice to say, I did not win.)

Though there are a smattering of cupcakeries downtown from this boom that started with Sex & the City's elevation of the Magnolia Bakery, the bloom was off the rose by the mid to late 2000s, but the recession still allowed "humble" foods to take center stage. Soon, magazines and media were trumpeting the donut as the latest craze in the elevation of affordable sweet treats. The snooty French macaron came and went. Artisinal syrups to create old-timey sodas was a thing. A few years later, ice cream and ice cream sandwiches got their season in the sun.

F you.

But the low point of this pastry cycle of celebrity is the latest one. It is the Kim Kardashian of Kake. It is stupid. It is the Cronut. For those who don't know (or don't particularly care,) the Cronut was supposedly invented by Dominique Ansel, a French baker in downtown NYC with a self-named shop. The Cronut is the fusion of a doughnut and a croissant. When I first heard it, my first two thoughts were:

1. Isn't a French Cruller exactly that?
2. Didn't we do this when we were messing around in c-school?

If you look at the cronut website, there is a lot of pretense that it is oh so much more complicated than just deep frying a croissant. I'll say this: making croissant dough by hand is a huge pain in he ass. It is a relatively wet, eggy dough that gets "laminated": the dough is wrapped around a block of butter in a cold, temperature-controlled space, rolled out, folded, rolled out again, folded, etc etc until there are 100s of barely perceptible layers of butter and dough that when baked, the butter cooks away to allow for the flaky texture. Ansel is basically just messing with ratios, laminating doughnut dough, and getting precious with the garnishes. And marketing. Don't forget the hype.

Don't forget what Flavah Flav once said: Don't believe the hype! (Boyeeeeeee!)

I remember in culinary school, taking the day to make croissant dough, and after taking a square and rolling it into a traditional croissant shape, some people took cookie cutters, or made various shapes, and a few of those ended up in the deep fryer and treated like a doughnut -- it's a natural mode of thought for a fatty sweet dough, and we didn't try to friggin' trademark it either.

I admit, I have not had a Cronut™, because I will not spend more than the time it takes to get to the shop to get one, rather than the lines that seem to forming by people with out enough to do. The other night, I was out out with a good friend from my restaurant days who now lives full time in France. We're very different in a ridiculous amount of ways I won't list here, but we have something very strong in common: a near identical curiosity and love for food, and point-for-point clear way of thinking about it. For dinner, we went for taxi stand Indian food and ate it in a public park, and for dessert, we hunted down a cronut knock off. The first place I could think of in walking distance was Dessert Club, the outlet bakery of Chickalicious, a fancy sit-down dessert-only emporium. Indeed, they had a "dough'ssant" and it was pretty...miserable. Too big, too fatty, the "creme brûlée" flavor muted and the texture less like a croissant-doughnut and more like a .....French Cruller from Dunkin' Donuts. My friend brought an extra one to bring to her very French inlaws, who were also in town. I'm sure they took great pleasure in seeing America fail and flail at an attempt at speaking their food culture.

Cronut? Abominationeur! Haw haw hawwww!

What would I like to see as the next dessert trend? Well, if it's not super simple things that anyone can dig deep in their own kitchen like the chocolate chip cookie or the brownie, then let's go outward into "ethnic" desserts. Funny, I'm a big fan of all Asian cuisines but Asian sweets cause me to run for the exits screaming. Mooncakes with jellied egg yolks in the middle? No. Chinatown Ice Cream Company feels as authentic as Spam Lo Mein. Why does so many Middle Eastern desserts reek of friggin' rosewater? Greek sweets taste of some combination of honey and pistachio, and that's about it. Not a fusion or dilution of multinational sweets, but an elevation of the quality of ingredients and leveling of balance of flavors to reflect a society where sweets are common, so don't have to be overpoweringly sweet or fragrant to make up for it's scarcity.

Burgers, crappy donuts and DIET coke? Yep, sounds like the Kim Kardashian of diets.

And don't even get me started about the Cronut™ burger.

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They're coming for my cookies. Leave my cookies alone, bears!

Yo momma can't make a cronut, unless she has training and/or works in a restaurant or bakery. The thing about certain foods that hold the biggest places in our hearts is how they fit in our relationships. What can be more loving that something a momma makes by hand to give and nourish her child? It's probably not going to be as pretentious or preening as a cronut....

My relation to sweets have been changing since starting this blog, and I've become much more aware of my kid's relationship with them, too. Thinking about my childhood, I've kicked up a few strong memories that have taken me by surprise....

My first summer at summer camp was when I was 9 years old. It was for 4 weeks, and at the 2 week mark, it was visiting day and my parents took the 150 mile car trip from NYC to the north east corner of Pennsylvania.  All the other kids got a TON of junk food and bags of chips and soda and cookies and cakes and on and on. The only food item I got from my parents as a treat was a bag of chocolate chip cookies that my mom made, most likely from the recipe on the back of a bag of Tollhouse chips. The chips were over-sized. My mom never baked chocolate chip cookies before, only cakes or brownies from a mix. It made me so happy, AND they left me with the whole bag!

That evening, after the parents left, all the campers in the division were commanded to take out ALL the food they received that day and place it on the picnic table at the center of the bunks. We were told to eat up now, because the rest were being thrown away. It was for sanitary reasons -- we were in the middle of the woods, after all, without refrigeration or bear-proof containers. I did not want to give up my cookies; it didn't seem fair. Thing was that I wasn't even planning on eating them, I just wanted to....have them, as long as possible, until I went home and saw my parents again. I asked a counselor if I could put my cookies away instead, but was told no. So as soon as all the food was presented on the table, a count was given then all the kids attacked the table. I just went straight for my cookies and nothing else. I ate them all. I didn't want any one else to have my mom's cookies. It was so much better than the stupid bags of stuff you could buy anywhere. You can't BUY a mom's cookies!!

Those cookies were love, trust, affection, respect, independence, comfort, and chocolate, all wrapped into one. As I sit here, 42 years old with children of my own and slowly unpuzzling my relationship to food and health, I still crave to eat those cookies again. I don't crave more home-baked chocolate chip cookies, I actually crave those specific cookies my mom made by hand for me in the summer of 1980.

Unsurprisingly, after eating the whole lot during that hot summer twilight and not even being hungry, I threw up right there amidst everyone was eating. Someone had to do it, to make a stand for what was right and honorable: this isn't just junk, this isn't just disposable crap to quench our jones. This is real food, this is special, this is unique to me and my mom. You can't buy a mom's cookies.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2335

Good eating week, especially considering I had the double stress of having my work move to a new office starting on Monday, then putting in multiple early mornings with not enough sleep to cook knishes for the Grub Street event on Sunday. It all went smoothly, and by Friday I was happy with how it went.

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MONDAY COUNT:2560

SLEPT: 9pm-4am, 7 hours

Woke up and lifted. Won't get to again this week, as after tomorrow morning's ride, gotta focus on knishing for the weekend. Job moved into a new office, today, nice n' white n' clean. Part of the welcome pack was a friggin' Hershey bar. Threw it out. If your going to tempt me with chocolate, make it edible, non-sour dark chocolate, puhleeze.

AM SNACK: 4:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 12:30pm, small chicken wrap, small brisket wrap, handful of tortilla chips, tbsp of guac, a dolop of salsa fresca, water, a large scoop of lightly dressed green salad, +/-600 cal
No microwave ready to use in the new office yet, so left my frozen/cold n' mealy food for tomorrow. Was tempted to go out for fast food, where the calories are known, but decided not to be a weirdo and ate the nice lunch of the job provided for staff. I figure if I just ate small portions and paid attention to how caloric it 'felt', I'd be OK for one damn meal.

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, mahi mahi, roasted asparagus, kimchi, Fritos, 785 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 650 cal

TUESDAY COUNT: 2195

SLEPT: 8pm-3am, 7 hours

Got a nice deep sleep, despite the minimum amount. Good ride, first early morning ride in too long.

AM SNACK: 3:15am, granola bar,  iced green tea, 575 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, falafel, homemade matzoball-mushroom soup, health salad, pickle, 600 cal
New microwave arrived in new office, ahhhh.

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, grilled pork loin, roasted brussels, quinoa, 600 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:45pm, fritos, 300 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2250

SLEPT: 8:30pm-4am, 7.5 hours

Very busy at work, good thing all my food was prepped and thought out well in advance, or I'd be totally f'd. I remember years ago, at a different job, if I was super busy, I would gorge as fast as possible on restaurant food to relieve the stress. (Funny, when super busy at the restaurant, I would eat on my feet to stay energized, and though I was technically gorging, I was also maintaining or losing weight. A rare advantage to shitty restaurant work....)

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, grilled pork loin, roasted brussels, quinoa, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, stir fried shiritaki noodles & shrimp with mushrooms and black bean sauce, 475cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, cheetos, 300 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2290

SLEPT: 10pm-3am, 5 hours

Got home after 8 due to responsibilities, and though I was in bed by 9, just too wired from a busy day to fall right asleep. Had to wake early to forge on at the goal of producing 200 knishes for Sunday, despite having no normal hours to do it.

Worked late. Was offered dinner on the company, but politely declined, just wanted to speed through the work and not eat calorically suspicious restaurant food. Ended up hitting Mickey D's, not great, but to quote their marketers, was part of a well-balanced diet, he he. Balanced, meaning once every six months!

AM SNACK: 3:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2:  9:45am, whole fage with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, grilled pork loin, roasted brussels, quinoa, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 8:45pm,  quarter pounder, fries, diet coke, 920 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2380

SLEPT: 10pm-3am, 5 hours

Got another short night of sleep, urg. Worked late, couldn't be helped, and then had to get up for another morning of the knishing.

AM SNACK: 3:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2:  8:45am, fruit smoothie, 410 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, madras lentils, steamed string beans, 660 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

DINNER: 7pm,  mixed perogies & sour kraut, ice cream cone, +/- 1000 cal

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WEEKEND REPORT

Weird sleeping. I got to bed at 8 on Friday with the intention of waking at 4 to finish my knishing, but woke at 1am and couldn't fall back to sleep, so I just got up and got to work. Pooped out by 8 on Saturday night, and had no alarm, ended up sleeping 9 hours. Ate too much both days, got some kid-transporting biking in, but not enough to make up for the binging.

Pork: Let Deliciousness Happen

Pig. When you slaughter and eat it, it's pork. Christianity has no issue, but many other religions either ban pork (Judaism, Islam, Eastern Orthodox, 7th Day Adventistism, Rastafarianism) or meat all together (Hindu.) If you're not a biblical fundamentalist who believes in an odd and fickle G-d who does not want you to eat swine, you might be familiar with certain anthropological theories.....

Ancient Hebrews and Muslims were down on pork for ecological and economical reasons. Pigs, unlike many farm animals, will eat anything and everything in large quantities, poop everywhere in similar quantities, and have no issue swanning about in said poo. When your in a desert-based environment with limited resources, bacon is just way too cost prohibitive, and y'all get poo on everything.

Why kittehs are much better housepets than piggies.

Being that people now live in places outside of arid deserts, farming practices allow for all sorts of variation in both ecological and economical factors. Bacon & pork tenderloin are just another choice in a wide variety of meats in the modern supermarket. Still, the ancient taboos have their echoes.

A lot of people cite trichinosis as why we should never eat pork at any temperature other than well done.  Keep in mind that any lean meat cooked to well-done becomes tough, chewy, leather-like and lacking in moisture and flavor. So if I don't cook my pork chop to "jerky" levels, will I get sick and die?

Trichinosis is a parasite that will make you hella-sick, and if your young or old, may kill you. In a recent 5 year period, 11 (eleven) cases of trichinosis were reported to the CDC. Were these from undercooked pork chops picked up from the local supermarket?

These were mostly the result of eating undercooked game, bear meat, or home-reared pigs.

You can be down on industrial farming for many reasons, Gawd knows there is a blog entry in the future about it. One thing it CAN be credited for is virtually eliminating the threat of trichinosis in pork on a mass level. You're more likely to get sick from ANY meat that's been improperly handled than getting a nasty parasite from a medium-rare pork tenderloin.

In fact, cheap feedlot pork is probably less risky than cheap feedlot beef. Why? No hormones.

Some people think that all commercially raised animals – cattle, hogs, sheep, and poultry – are fed hormones as growth promoters. In fact, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) does not permit the use of hormones in raising hogs or chickens, turkeys and other fowl. That is why the USDA does not allow the use of the term "no hormones added" on labels of pork or poultry products unless it is followed by a statement explaining that "Federal regulations prohibit the use of hormones."

While the underfunding of rational public services like the USDA make me uneasy, if your a paranoid Republicant who doesn't trust the gubbermint, you shouldn't eat anything protected by the USDA, but rather you should be clutching your guns while raising your own trichinosis-riddled pigs on a plot of land deep in "Real Amurika".

Am I being shrill? 

I cooked my bimonthy pork tenderloin the other week, up to this point I've been cooking it with a thermometer to 140 degrees, as recommended in the recipe. That is a solid "medium" in culinary terms: pink and firm in the middle. Wait, shouldn't pigmeat always be served well-done? Used to be -- the USDA has since stepped it back a bit: in 2011 they lowered the recommended internal cooked temperature of pork from a grey, dry 160 degrees to the pinkish, firm 145.

The agency said that after pork hits the target internal (145º) temperature, it should be allowed to rest for three minutes, while its temperature rises a few more degrees. That should be enough to kill any harmful bacteria, but the meat should be juicy and may look pink. The same temperature guidelines already apply to whole cuts of beef, lamb and veal.

Uhhh, what?

I lowered the temp on the loin to 135 just to see what would happen. I'll tell you what happened. Deliciousness happened.

My mom would regularly saute lamb chops for me and my brother, and she would blast those things until every last drop of moisture was wrung out of those meat-pops until all that was left was desiccated, tough, stringy and leather-like. The USDA agreed with her back then -- don't bother trying to enjoy your food, because it's better safe than sorry. That's a sad way to approach any kind of food. It's better to abstain from dangerous food rather than make it near inedible, and it's even better to have a realistic view of what actually is dangerous.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2398

No work on Thurs & Fri due to my office moving, but did some freelance work from home early mornings in the first part of the week. My routine was interrupted, leading me to over eat late in the week, but over all a good eating week. Got one good weight session in on Thursday which lead me to be slightly sore all weekend, and a slow but satisfying ride on Friday.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2125

SLEPT: 10pm-5am, 7 hours

Caffeine from the morning bike ride and a round of over eating that included a can of diet coke and chocolate ice cream didn't help the sleep, but I got a minimum of 8 hours both Friday night and Saturday night, so I felt pretty good in the morning anyway.

AM SNACK: 5:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, pear/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal
Ran out of apples but had extra CSA pears. Weird taste....not bad, just weird, different, never been into pears but it's equally sweet and inoffensive.

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, whole Fage with agave, vanilla and almonds, 310 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, falafel, homemade matzoball-mushroom soup, health salad, 590 cal
Second time with the soup, this time I knew to kick up the salt.

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, broiled flounder, roasted asparagus, kimchi, Fritos, 765 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2215

SLEPT: 10pm-3am, 5 hours

Feeling the short sleep night. Took a 9pm conference call for some freelance work which I knocked out from 3:30-6:15am, until the Edie woke up. Despite being a little groggy, glad to have done the work, made me feel good.

AM SNACK: 3;15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, pear/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal
Ran out of apples but had extra CSA pears. Weird taste....not bad, just weird, different, never been into pears but it's equally sweet and inoffensive.

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken meatballs, johdpur lentils, steamed string beans, 530 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, 100 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 7pm, Stouffers French Bread pizza, 860 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2385

SLEPT: 8pm-3am, 7 hours

Only 7 hours, but it was good, thick, ropey deep sleep. Felt great when I woke up, and got some good creative work done on the 'puter before the troops arose.

AM SNACK: 3;15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, pear/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, whole Fage with agave, vanilla and almonds, 310 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken sausage, sofrito black beans, roasted broccoli, 540 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 8:30p, stir fried shiritaki noodles & shrimp with mushrooms and black bean sauce, 475

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, fritos, 600 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2585+

SLEPT: 10:15pm-4:30am, 6.25 hours

Planned to wake up at 6, but woke up early feeling good and revved up to do chores n' stuff. Office is moving, not going back in until Monday. Though I'm not getting paid, the freelance work I picked up earlier in the week almost covers it. After chores and errands, made rum n' spice ice cream custard with all sorts of interesting aromatics, a pumpkin pastry cream for the cake being made on Saturday to accompany said ice cream, and a batch of granola for use in upcoming granola bars, to power me through the winter cycling.

Binged in the evening. When I got home late, I tasted the ice cream custard and pumpkin pastry cream, only a teaspoon each, but that was enough sugar to set me off. Not gonna beat myself up, you live and learn. I don't binge that often anymore, so despite it's negative place in the scheme of things, it's still 2 steps forward, 1 step back.

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, pear/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, steel cut oatmeal, 415 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, boxed tomato soup, pickles, 700 cal
Surprisingly good boxed soup, low sodium Dr. McDougall's. Been in the pantry forever, gonna get a few more as a backup to my homemade soups, an emergency travel lunch option.

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, beef jerky, 160 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, chips, diet coke, 760

EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, cheetos, 300 cal

BINGE: 11-12am, more cheetos, peanut M&Ms, chocolate bunny crackers, cheesy peanut butter crackers, +/- 1300 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 720 cal
FRIDAY COUNT: 2680

SLEPT: 12am-6am, 6 hours

Stomach felt off in the morning, powered through my breakfast routine simply for the nutrition, not hunger. Did a loop around Staten Island, got in a Costco run for knish supplies and swung by Bushwick to visit a friend and get a large n' in charge dinner.

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie 410 cal

BIKE SNACK: 11:30am, granola bar, 270 cal

BIKE SNACK: 1pm, granola bar, 270 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2pm, almond butter and grape jelly sandwich, chocolate shake, 990 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, fritos, 300 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, Peruvian food, +/- 1000 cal

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WEEKEND REPORT:
Went to town with overeating on Saturday, pulled back a little on Sunday but still not great. Saturday eve was at an adult party with my 2 year old, wasn't able to relax and socialize as much as I would like, but there were a bunch of people there I haven't seen in quite a while, and got a lot of comments and compliments on my weight loss. A few commented on my musculature, which is a new thing I'm starting to pick up on. I'm not trying to get all ripped n' big, but I guess as the fat recedes and my once or twice a week work outs increase it's amount of weights, some results will start to make itself known. Weird. I guess that will allow me to feel OK if I only lose a pound this month or even stop losing all together?

Less sleep, mo' hunger

I don't have a lot of time or patience for Yuri Elkaim, the magically-browed Internet guru whose effort to package the latest thinking in health & nutrition into a series of literature and videos turns mostly good information into a mess of a shrill hard-sell. When I have the time, I listen to his (free) pod casts and browse the many emails he sends on a daily basis. One caught my eye recently.

It starts with the usual amped-up, oh-my-golly subject, "Did this happen to you this morning?"

Do you ever pry your eyes open at the crack of dawn, look at the time, and hit the snooze button…several times over? If so, you probably don't consider yourself a morning person. You apparently don't feel like the Energizer Bunny first thing when you get out of bed.
But is that normal? Are some individuals just NOT made for mornings? The truth is that it's NOT normal.

After some babble about worn out glands and "3 secrets", the website the email directs to is just another long, winding hard sell for Yuri's stuff. But it got me thinking. I saw the video above on the Internets just the day before, and I went into the weekend expecting to have a 140+ mile bike blowout, but had to cancel it due to last-minute family obligations. Instead of getting 4-5 hours of sleep each night and draining myself to the max, I ended up sleeping 10+ hours each night with a nap each afternoon.

I had to read this twice, because the first time I did not read it as "tips". Gendered vision, I suppose.

Come Monday morning, I know I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was surprised by how great I felt. I woke up at 4 (after getting a proper 8 hours of sleep) and lifted weights, the first time in 3 week at full capacity. It's taken almost two solid weeks to recover from a week of 300+ miles on the bike, and it's never taken me so long to recover in the past. Am I getting sick? It's can't be my diet or level of fitness, so what could it be?

I'm not getting enough sleep. Should have been obvious? I've been waking up at 4am most mornings to lift weights, get cooking and chores done, sometimes 3am to get a weird cycling ride in. While I've been strict and religious about when I wake up (and what I eat, and how I work out), I have not been strict about when I go to sleep. I've been depending on when I get tired, sometimes falling asleep in front of the TV, but not really paying attention to the time. I've only been getting 5-6 hours of sleep most nights...for the past few months. I've always been able to function on 5-6 hours and feel good, but met with some catch up sleep on the weekends. This summer, all my weekends have been wake up and ride, not stay in and sleep.

In the past year, my approach to reclaiming my health and losing some weight has been based on two pillars: first and foremost, eat better in appropriate quantities. Secondly, embrace cycling and weights as a two fisted way to tighten up.

On all available occasions, I do the Tighten Up. 

Now it's occurring to me that this two pronged effort might be all for naught if I neglect a 3rd pillar: get enough sleep. Which begs the question, what am I doing to myself by not getting enough shut-eye?

Going through the Internet, there are lots of lists outlining many points about what a lack of sleep does to you, but one jumped out at me immediately:

“Studies show that over time, people who are getting six hours of sleep, instead of seven or eight, begin to feel that they’ve adapted to that sleep deprivation -- they’ve gotten used to it,” Gehrman says. “But if you look at how they actually do on tests of mental alertness and performance, they continue to go downhill. So there’s a point in sleep deprivation when we lose touch with how impaired we are.”

Have I lost touch? Well, I've kept up with my diet and eating schedule, and looking at the last month or so....well, I've been missing my average daily goal of calorie consumption week after week. A lot of the lists have overlapping bullets: lack of sleep will....

• Make you lose focus, and shorten your attention span
• Make you moody, even depressed
• Make you lose interest in sex
• Make you forgetful
• Make you less coordinated and prone to accident
• over the long term, put stress on your internal organs and lead to increased chances of stroke, heart failure, diabetes, and more

The one universal bullet across all the listicles, however, is that lack of sleep:

• Makes you fat.

Urrrg.

Researchers at the New York Obesity Nutrition Research Center at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital found that sleep-deprived people seem to burn the same number of calories as the well-rested, but they consume about 300 more calories a day....

When we get too little shut-eye, our metabolism slows down to conserve energy. That slowdown triggers the release of the hormone cortisol, which increases appetite. Your body thinks it needs more energy, so it asks for more food.

In a vicious cycle, sleep loss also causes our bodies to release more ghrelin, another hormone that signals hunger, and less leptin, the hormone that tells your stomach that it’s full. With your hormones off-kilter, your body wants more food and lacks the sensitivity to know when to stop eating. Not to mention that being awake more hours gives you more time to snack.

Kitteh needs a nap or three.

Multiple sources cited multiple studies and sources all saying the same thing: too little sleep will mess with your hormones and make you hungrier without the matching calories expenditure. It makes sense: since starting to play with caffeine and less sleep, my calorie counts have started to regularly pass my 2350 calorie limit, despite my resolve & discipline being as firm as it ever was. Up until now, my attitude was, "well, if I'm this hungry after eating my allotment, that must be my body signaling that it needs more calories because perhaps my metabolism is naturally increasing from current activities." Now I wonder is it the opposite -- I'm causing my metabolism to get sluggish, therefore motivating my hormones to charge in and try to get me to eat more?

These past two weeks I've been recording how much I sleep, and because of that, I've been sleeping a bit more. Let's hope it impacts November's weigh-in as we move into the cold, hungry months.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2307

Good eating week, I credit....sleep! It's a bit of a bear fitting in sleep with silly little things like working a full time gig, raising kids, eating all home made food, and having a relationship with that wife-like person who shares my travails, but I guess we'll just have to throttle back television even further. Well, Breaking Bad is over, so perhaps it's time to pull the cable-plug (and bill) sooner than later...

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MONDAY COUNT: 2565

SLEPT: 8:15pm-4:30am, 8.25 hours

Woke up early to watch the Breaking Bad finale while my whole wheat matzo balls simmered. Leg's 80% recovered from the beating of an all day ride on Saturday matched with a slow ride to Coney on the big bike with kids. Disappointed I busted the budget, but SO worth it, as it was with a dear friend I don't see enough, and it's just an estimation -- I was honestly hungry when I sat down for my evening snack, so it's open to interpretation.

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Steel cut oatmeal  415 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, homemade matzoball-mushroom soup, health salad, 590 cal
Hard to get a confident caloric measure on something as handcrafted as chicken stock, but based on commerical products, I suspect it's not much. After portioning the soup into 6 pint containers, I'm comfortable calling it 260 cal, about the same as the frozen stuff I was buying.

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, Taxi driver vegetarian Indian food, 1/2 a cronut, +/- 800 cal
Had to break routine to see a friend in from Europe, who I barely get to see once a year if I'm lucky. She's very worldly, so she thoroughly appreciated the high quality of the low brow Indian food served out of trays behind a counter from a seedy, run down but very busy and reputable taxi stand. Because she's currently in France, we had to hunt down a (knock off) cronut to celebrate the US & France in perfect harmony! 

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, fritos, 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 1905

SLEPT: 10pm-5:30am, 7.5 hours

Dinner took a long time to make, had to get to sleep early, so there was no time to eat an evening snack, he.

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, Fage yogurt with almonds, agave and vanilla, 310

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, madras lentils, steamed string beans, 610 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, hummus, 100 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, pork tenderloin, roasted brussel sprouts, quinoa, 575 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2395

SLEPT: 8:30pm-4am, 7.5 hours

Everyone in bed by 8, but between getting 2nd bottles, whispering stories to Edie to get her to sleep, and my own racing mind, didn't get to real sleep until 8:30. Woke up tired, not the deepest sleep. Woke up hungry, too, which is not such a bad thing.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Steel cut oatmeal  415 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, pork tenderloin, roasted brussel sprouts, quinoa, 575 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 8:45pm, stirfry with shrimp, shiritaki noodles, shitaki mushroom and black bean sauce, roasted asparagus, 645 cal
Behind on my vegetable consumption due to Monday night's outing, caught up tonight.

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, fritos, 300 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2210

SLEPT: 10:15pm-4:45am, 6.5 hours

Got to bed late due to late dinner and excess energy, woke up 15 minutes before my alarm due to light, dream-infused sleep.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Steel cut oatmeal  415 cal
Whoops, turn for yogurt, totally spaced.

LUNCH: 1pm, pork tenderloin, roasted brussel sprouts, quinoa, 575 cal

PM SNACK: 4 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, chips, diet coke, 760

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2460

SLEPT: 9:30pm-4:30am, 7 hours

Another restless night due to unseasonably warm weather. If I was crazy, I'd downgrade my 7 hours quantity to 6 hours of quality, but that would be a bit hinky I suppose.

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/ginger/cayenne/cucumber juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie 410 cal
Put it in the fridge when made at 7:30, drank it when got home from swapping out bikes to get to work. This is a good fit in the future, it's no good to have a high-cal breakfast too early, or it'll set me up to be way hungry before lunch.

LUNCH: 1pm, almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, health salad, 590 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30 pm, momma salad, hummus, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian, 150 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, chicken breast, homemade baked ziti, roasted broccoli, homemade chocolate ice cream & brownies with chocolate syrup, +/- 1000 cal

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WEEKEND REPORT
Bad eating weekend, ate very emotionally. Fun trip to Costco with Edie on the big bike Saturday morning (cheap sushi in the cafe!), a kid's birthday party in the afternoon (grilled hotdogs! cake!). Sunday, road 65 miles, was supposed to do 100+ on an organized ride but fog and drizzle cut my efforts short. Crappy food on the ride, but I made up for it in spades sitting around the house in the afternoon (cupcake making with kids! Chinese take out with the family! Finish the homemade chocolate ice cream as it'll be bad by next weekend! etc) By the time I got to bed on Sunday, was looking forward to getting back to some good eating again. My body just...feels better stuffed full of good quality, nutrient-dense, calorie-light, fiber-filled foods.