The End of Fat Before It Was Cool

216.4-->212.4-->209.8

After 2 years of slow weight gain after 2 years of slightly quicker weight loss, I seem to be back on the loss cycle. During a family Passover seder, a lovely (and loving) aunt who I see only about once or twice a year pulled me aside and asked me, "What happened to your diet? You seemed to be doing so well." I imagine if I was female or younger or less secure in my self, this would be a dagger in my heart, but I took it as sincere concern from an older generation who have different assumptions about weight loss and fat people. The conflict between our world views is pretty damn well summarized in this recent NY Times article.

“The key point is that you can be on TV, you can lose enormous amounts of weight, you can go on for six years, but you can’t get away from a basic biological reality,” said Dr. Schwartz, who was not involved in the study. “As long as you are below your initial weight, your body is going to try to get you back.”
The show’s doctor, Robert Huizenga, says he expected the contestants’ metabolic rates to fall just after the show, but was hoping for a smaller drop. He questioned, though, whether the measurements six years later were accurate. But maintaining weight loss is difficult, he said, which is why he tells contestants that they should exercise at least nine hours a week and monitor their diets to keep the weight off.
“Unfortunately, many contestants are unable to find or afford adequate ongoing support with exercise doctors, psychologists, sleep specialists, and trainers — and that’s something we all need to work hard to change,” he said in an email.

When I got to the bottom of the weight curve at the end of 2013, I started getting ravenous, and I thought of a truism taught to me by my parents and my aunt's generation: when you are hungry, eat. On the face of it, this is "common sense" but beware of any one or any politician trying to sell you something on the basis of "common sense" -- they are appealing to your baser ignorance instead of your higher urge to learn more about what is really happening.

I was hungrier than usual, so I said eh, my body is telling me to eat, and we first and foremost must listen to our bodies. Eating disorders are seen as emotional and psychological problems that interfere with our abilities to feed ourselves in response to bodily signals. Well, my bodily signals have been literally, scientifically-proven and unilaterally hijacking my hormones to alter my behavior to regain as much weight as possible. It's not for a lack of willpower, or mindfulness, or moral upstanding, it's what we're genetically programmed to do based on cave-man times.

To put it succinctly, it's not my fault, but it is my responsibility. The usefulness of this blog has come to an end. Look at the list of topics to the right, I think I've said all I need on each one - the purpose was to educate and entertain myself with the act of writing, and it served that purpose well. It also served to keep myself accountable for my eating by posting my food diaries in public, and my need for that has lessened -- I have my shit together, I don't need the fear of having to say "I ate 2 boxes of twinkles last night before crying myself to sleep" in public to keep me eating healthy.  I still have more to learn and clarify, but I think I'm going to do that in a less straight forward, more personal and emotional form in a writing project TBD. Maybe another blog, maybe not. Any suggestions?
----

This is not my first rodeo. Though this blog started at the beginning of '12 and ran through the first third of '16, there was:

• Snicklesnack (2012)
• Learning to Feed (2007-2012)
• Culinary School Confidential (2008-2010)
• Knishery NYC (2011-2013)

and the only non-food blog and perhaps most popular, the blog of my cross country bikeride:

• Betsy, I'll Be Home for Thanksgiving (2007)

The most popular post from this blog: from 2012, with 611 views and twice the amount of the next-best viewed, an opening salvo on the Demon Sugar.

Before deciding to end this blog, my next entry was going to riff on this article, but after reading through all the material it linked to, my emotional response was: I can't. I just can't. So many lies and half-truths, so much "common sense" that is nonsense in practice. May the burning of this blog light my way.

Thanks for reading out there. Despite your silence, the page views speaks of a common human empathy that makes it worthwhile. Love on ya.

-----

WEEK 1/4

MONDAY COUNT: 2650
SLEPT: 9pm - 6am, 9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, beef patty, tomato soup, momma salad, 540 cal

DINNER: 6:15pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, kind bar, peanut butter crackers, +/- 850 cal

-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 2160

SLEPT: 9:30pm-6am,  8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 4:15pm, chicken sausage, poppa salad, 420 cal 

DINNER: 6pm, Vegetarian dim sum, +/- 700  cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, homemade brownie, +/- 200 cal
-----

BIKE CREDIT: 725 cal
WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3065

SLEPT: 10:30pm-6am,  7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2pm, homemade granola bar, 300 cal

LUNCH: 4:15pm, chicken meatballs, steamed stringbeans, lentil curry,  680 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, momma salad, 100  cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws, 330 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, poppa salad with basalmic, 1070 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, bowl of c-chips cashews and pretzels, homemade brownie, +/- 700 cal

-----

THURSDAY COUNT: 2340

SLEPT: 10:30pm-2am, 4:30am-6:45am,  5.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 11:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:45pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, Ethiopian food, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, half a pint of ice cream, +/- 500 cal
-----

BIKE CREDIT: 1000 cal
FRIDAY COUNT: 2340

SLEPT: 10:15pm-6:30am,  8.25 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 11am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

BREAKFAST 2: noon, steel cut oatmeal,  450 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2:45pm, granola bar, 320 cal

BIKE SNACK: 3:30pm, granola bar, 320 cal

BIKE SNACK: 4:30pm, potato chips, 440 cal

DINNER pt 1: 6:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, 150 cal

DINNER pt 2: 7:15pm, brick of Chinese, +/- 1200 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, homemade brownie, +/- 300 cal

-----

WEEK 2/4

MONDAY COUNT: 2690
SLEPT: 9:30pm - 4am, 6.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, 580 cal

DINNER: 6pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, kind bar, peanut butter crackers, +/- 850 cal

-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 2410

SLEPT: 9:15pm-6am,  8.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:45pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 3:45pm, chicken meatballs, steamed stringbeans, mushroom curry,  620 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, Stouffer's French Bread pizzas, poppa salad, 1080  cal
-----

WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2,445 cal

SLEPT: 9:15pm-5:30am,  8.25 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, poppa salad with dressing, bacon, 440 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, momma salad, veggie straws,  230  cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, diet coke, 925 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, peanut butter crackers, 240 cal

-----

BIKE CREDIT: 760 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 2010

SLEPT: 10pm-5am,  7 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea, 150 mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 6:45am, homemade granola bar, 270 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 11:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, petite steak and mash, pork croquette, bread, diet coke, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6:15pm, shrimp & scallop stirfry, samosas and chickpeas over steamed string beans, half a pint of ice cream +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:15pm, peanut butter crackers, 240 cal
-----

FRIDAY COUNT: 2490

SLEPT: 10:30pm-4am,  5.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:30am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, bagel with creamcheese and lox, +/- 700 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, poppa salad, cheezits, 410 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, fish and chips, hotdog, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

-----

WEEK 3/4

MONDAY COUNT: 2740
SLEPT: 9:30pm - 5am, 7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:15pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, ice cream, +/- 300 cal

DINNER: 6pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, peanut butter crackers, +/- 600cal

-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 2290

SLEPT: 9:15pm-5am,  7.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 3:30pm, poppa salad with dressing, and bacon,  440 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 240 cal

DINNER: 5:45pm, vegetarian dim sum, small cup of ice cream, +/-1000  cal
-----

BIKE CREDIT: 680 cal
WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2640

SLEPT: 9pm-5:45am,  8.75 hrs

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

AM SNACK: 8:15am, school sausage patty, +/- 100 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 10:30am, homemade granola bar, 365 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30pm, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 4pm, chicken meat balls, string beans and lentil curry, 770 cal

DINNER: 8pm, burrito, poppa salad with dressing, 1125 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, small amount of chocolate chips, peanut butter crackers, +/- 250 cal
-----

THURSDAY COUNT: 2980

SLEPT: 10:30pm-5:30am,  7 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 12:15pm, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 2:15pm, fried mixed perogees with side of kraut, ice cream, +/- 1000 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with dressing, cheezis, 440 cal

DINNER: 6pm, roast chicken, zuchini, big salad, +/- 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, streetzi, ice cream bar, +/- 500 cal

-----

FRIDAY COUNT: 2360

SLEPT: 11pm-6:30am,  7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

LUNCH: 1pm, Ikea meatballs and mashed, chocolate cake, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, free samples of weird swiss chocolate thingies, +/- 400 cal

PASSOVER DINNER: 6:30pm, gefilte, meatballs, matzo ball soup, matzo with chicken liver, chicken breast and stuffing, potato kugel, a couple of macaroons, seltzer, shot of slivovitz, +/- 1000 cal

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WEEK 4/4

MONDAY COUNT:2640
SLEPT: 10pm - 6:30am, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12pm, fage yogurt with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 2:45pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, 580 cal

DINNER: 6pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, banana bread, peanut butter crackers, +/- 800cal

-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 2050

SLEPT: 9:30pm-6:30am,  9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 11:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 3pm, steel cut oatmeal,  450 cal

LUNCH: 4:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws,  340 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6pm, vegetarian dim sum, small cup of ice cream, +/-1000  cal
-----

WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2575

SLEPT: 8:30pm-6:30am,  10 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1pm, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 5pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws, 440 cal

DINNER: 8pm, burrito, diet coke, 925 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, small amount of chocolate chips, pretzels and cashews, +/- 500 cal
-----

BIKE CREDIT: 750 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 1790

SLEPT: 10pm-3am,  5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea, 150 mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 6:45am, homemade granola bar, 260 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 10am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 5pm, poppa salad with dressing, peanut butter crackers, 390 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, korean pork & rice, summer rolls, +/- 1500 cal
-----

FRIDAY COUNT: 2750 cal

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:30am,  8 hrs

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

LUNCH: 11:45am, korean beef burrito, small cup of ice cream, +/- 1100 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, momma salad, peanut butter crackers, 290 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, fish & chips, hotdog, ice cream, +/- 1200 cal

Recharge, let go.

216.6-->216.4-->212.4

When I stood on the scale early Saturday morning, it read 218.4. I had assumed it would be a loss, I could just feel it, but the scale said something quite different. I laid on the couch and watched some mindless TV in the dark without paying attention -- should I be depressed? Why did I think it was a loss if it was really another gain? Is the ideology I've developed over the years from thinking and writing and living it turning out to be incomplete? Perhaps I have a health issue that is manifesting itself in weight gain despite my calorie reduction, exercise increase, and continuing shift from less sweets and carbs to more fats, proteins and vegetables?

I got up and peed, decided to jump on the scale to see if I just shed a half pound or so, just to make this report a little less humiliating. I was stunned to see it register a 4 lb loss instead of a 2 lb gain. Like a typical weight-obsessive, I got on and off the scale several times. When I got on a little quicker than before, -bam!- there it was, 218.4 It seems I forgot to let the scale tare itself. It was 3 in the morning when I initially weighed in.

It was that 30 minutes of doubt -- I wondered if I should get depressed, and instead I decided to start a new plan of action - see a doctor, listen to what is said, revise plan based on new evidence. Fortunately, simply by checking myself, things fell into place.

I have my share of faults, imperfections, issues, problems and eccentricities, but one of those things can be interpreted as a strength -- I'm always on time or early, whether it's arriving at a function or delivering work to a client. There is stopwatch always running in my brain, making itself known if things are falling behind schedule, letting me know the time whether I want to know it or not. It's not quite conscious, but when the pressure is on, it's not quite unconscious either.

Stepping on that scale and seeing a gain made me realize I've developed a new aspect of this stopwatch - because of the years of calorie counting, there is a constant calculus in my head that has been putting a check on how much I eat every day. The logs below have kind of become an afterthought of this process, to check myself. The last 2-3 weeks I've made a conscious decision to trust in this internal watch, loosened my hand on the grip, and indeed, I've eaten my way around comfortably, the system is functioning  - it pays attention to my real hunger, to how my brain is functioning, and ignores the child-like urges for more sweets, more food, the secure feeling of a super-full stomach.

Last weekend I spent 4 days in England, a holiday I've been taking every other year for most of my adult life. This was the first time I eased back on the eating, rather than going forward and cramming in a whole mess, giving myself holiday-permission. I still enjoyed the hell out of my traditional foods, just skipped a lot of the unnecessary snacking and extra beers. I left without the traditional queazy feeling in my stomach from all that extra. I left feeling pretty much as good as when I arrived.

It has been in this letting go that I decided to stop posting weekly -- I think I've said all I need to say in a weekly format. I will now focus on just one essay a month, to give it a little more original thought and usefulness, rather than just fill up space to make a self-imposed deadline.

Thanks to all of my 3 readers -- I'll check in with you in early May!

-N

-----

DAILY AVERAGE: 2355
A good average, pretty much where I want to be to lose weight for a while, it seems. Lines up with my continuous weight loss from '12-'14.
-----

MONDAY COUNT: 2460
SLEPT: 9pm - 5:30am, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, pickles, 600 cal

DINNER: 7pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, kind bar, +/- 600 cal

-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 2110

SLEPT: 10pm-6am,  8 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, sauteed shrimp, poppa salad, 460 cal 

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 6pm, Vegetarian dim sum, +/- 700  cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, peanut butter crackers, 240 cal
-----

WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2870

SLEPT: 10pm-5:30am,  7.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 12:15pm, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1:30pm, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3:45pm, poppa salad with dressing and bacon, 440 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, cashews, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws, 330 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, diet coke, 920 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, homemade brownie, +/- 200 cal
-----

BIKE CREDIT: 825
THURSDAY COUNT: x

SLEPT: 1am-6:30am, 5.5 hr

AM SNACK: 7:15am, iced green tea

BIKE SNACK: 9:30am, homemade granola bar, 285 cal

BIKE SNACK: 10:30am, homemade granola bar, 285 cal

BIKE LUNCH: 11:45am, 2 slices of pizza, +/- 500 cal

LUNCH: 3:45pm, chinese food, +/- 1200

off to England.....

-----

TUESDAY COUNT: 1990

SLEPT: 10:30pm-6:30am, 8hrs

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: noon, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal


PM SNACK: 2:30pm, beef patty, tomato soup, momma salad, 530 cal

PM SNACK: 5:45pm, little snippets of chocolate gifts given to kids who wanted to share with me, +/- 200 cal

DINNER: 7pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal
-----

WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2400

SLEPT: 9pm-6am,  9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 11:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3:15pm, poppa salad with dressing and bacon, 440 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, diet coke, 920 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, homemade brownie, +/- 200 cal
-----

BIKE CREDIT: 700 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 1945

SLEPT: 11:30pm-4:30am,  5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5am, iced green tea, 150mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 6:45am, homemade granola bar, 285 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:45am, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 2:30pm, shirataki noodles with shrimp and mushrooms in oyster sauce, poppa salad with dressing, 550 cal

DINNER: 6pm, chicken parm and spag, garlic crostini, kale tomato panzanella, white beans in oil and bread, a little veal, water, +/- 1200 cal
-----

FRIDAY COUNT: 2710

SLEPT: 9pm-6am,  9 hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10am, steel cut oatmeal,  450 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 ca

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

LUNCH: 3:45pm, sardines and avocado on whole wheat toast, poppa salad with dressing, 650 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, fish and chips, hotdog, hot fudge sundae, +/- 1200 cal

Breakfast, the exercise

It is amazing how much bad stock photography of breakfast plate smiley-faces there are....

I've been contemplating breakfast lately. I've been working from home almost exclusively since June, and slowly my lock-step of eating almost the same thing every day in a 5-day weekly rotation has been evolving. However, my breakfast has been pretty locked into three parts, the third which is a rotation of three things:

• Pint of iced green tea, no calories and a low dose of caffeine. And due to cold brewing, pretty much is guaranteed to be naturally not bitter in the least.
• Fresh vegetable and fruit juice. Low on the fruit (just 1/2 a large apple and carrot, which is not a fruit but almost has as much sugar as one) and high on the nasty kale and beet. Tastes nasty, but makes me physically well.
• Two of the first two, one of the third:

1. Steel cut oatmeal (prepared the long way, with everything needed to make it taste wonderful)
2. Fage Yogurt (full fat and plain, sweetened with just a touch of honey to knock off the bitterest notes and amped up with homemade vanilla extract and a healthy sprinkle of roasted, salted almonds
3. Fruit Smoothie (made with banana, a selection of frozen fruits, yogurt, chia soaked in pomegranate juice and a proper dash of salt and vanilla.)

To recap: grain based, boxed breakfast cereals are bullshit.  Millenials, who have less exposure to the advertising and the emotional connection, are rejecting it as over-processed sugar traps. Recently I've been using my weekends to indulge in comfort breakfasts like BLT on a bagel, pancakes and waffles, and lately I've been working my way through the breakfast cereals of my youth: "healthy" cereals like corn flakes, rice crispies, crispex, Special K. All of them taste oddly sweet to me, and looking at the ingredients it's not hard to see why -- there is plenty of sugar processed into these "unsweetened" cereals. I also grew up on Raisin Bran, but I actually rejected them from my weekend eating because they had the added sugar equivalent of a "Honey Smacks" or "Frosted Flakes", a level of sugar that literally puts my body feeling funky and weird.

How I feel on too much sugar.

So I've been trawling the internets lately looking for a new breakfast direction to work into my routine, and found this piece about what nutritionists eat for breakfast.  It's a listicle with 9 breakfasts, and it can be categorized as such

• Oatmeal (2, 4, 7)
• Eggs (1, 9)
• Oatmeal & eggs (6)
• Yogurt (5)
• Juice/Smoothie (3)
• Whole grain toast (9)

If these are all nutritionist-approved breakfasts, I shouldn't be surprised -- they are nutritionists, not chefs looking to push the boundaries. Seems my breakfast rundown already falls in their perimeters with the exception of the absence of eggs. Personally, eggs are out of the question for me for reasons I've stated in these pages before. I try to limit my grains over all as they are calorie dense, nutritionally light and prevent space for vegetables both raw and cooked -- if I were to include rice in my weekly Chipotle burrito, it would make an already big meal kinda silly.

Rather than cleverly putting an egg on the oatmeal, perhaps I should look into waking some bacon on it? Fat and protein to help improve the ratio to carbs.

Part of me considers skipping breakfast, but that is just as bullshit as breakfast cereals. Hormones are naturally quieter in the earlier hours, making it easier to eat less or nothing, but it is at your peril if you choose to skip the meal then endure those same hormones coming back at you 2 to 3 times as hard commanding you to eat because you tripped the starvation trigger.

Hmmm. That was a fun mental exercise at re-examining breakfast, but what did it get me? Add bacon. Of course, I could just say f it all, put my faith in the culinary excitement that food scientists know I crave and go ALL-AMURICAN:

HOUSEKEEPING
Goin' to England next week, going to skip a week. When I get back, there will be a monthly weigh in, and then I will only post once a month. The monthly posts will be an essay, a monthly way in, and a large set of food diaries. I think this is the best because I think the quality of my essays have gone down in recent months as my work and family life have become more intense. Less fat, more muscle!
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2651
Not bad. Riding ramping up.
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MONDAY COUNT: 2510
SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6am, 8.5 hrs
Well

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 8:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, pickles, 600 cal

DINNER: 7pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, kind bar, snippet of banana bread, +/- 650 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 630 cal
TUESDAY COUNT: 2460

SLEPT: 9pm-5:30am,  8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:45am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:30pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, chicken meatballs with mushroom curry, steamed string beans, pickles, 640 cal

BIKE SNACK: 5pm, homemade granola bar, 300 cal

DINNER: 7pm, stouffer's french bread pizzas, poppa salad, 1040 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, chocolate milk,  500 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2860

SLEPT: 9pm-1am, 4am-6am, 5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 8:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 11:15pm, quarter pounder, kid's fries, diet coke, 2 nuggets, +/- 750 cal

PM SNACK: 2pm, momma salad, 100 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with dressing, veggie straws, 330 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, diet coke, 920 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, handful of peanut butter pretzels, +/- 150 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 630
THURSDAY COUNT: 2775

SLEPT: 9:45pm-3:15am, 5.5 hr

AM SNACK: 3:30am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 10:45am, homemade granola bar, 315 cal

BREAKFAST: 12:15pm,  steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, peanut butter crackers, 240 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, good grilled cheese, poppa salad, pickle, banana bread, +/- 1000 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 240 cal

DINNER: 7pm, Vietnamese food, store bought deserts, +/- 1000 cal 
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2650

SLEPT: 9:30pm-6am, 8.5hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: noon, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:45pm, Fage with honey, vanilla almonds,  450 cal

LUNCH: 4pm, poppa salad with dressing, pork loin, 500  cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 240 cal

DINNER PT 1: 5:15pm, fries, bit of hotdog, spoonful of ice cream, +/- 400 cal

DINNER PT 2: 7pm, sausages, a beer, a few potato chips, bite of brussel sprouts, scoop of ice cream +/- 900 cal

Even if salt isn't that big a deal, knowledge is still power.

I've spoken a little about salt here before, and my conclusions were mild at best: studies have shown again and again super-low and no salt diets not only do NOT cure high blood pressure caused by non-food issues, but are actually very harmful. And if your high blood pressure is caused by salt...

Yes, salt raises blood pressure....temporarily. If your system takes in too much salt, enough to mess with the chemical balance of your blood, the body literally starts a pleasant combination of holding water (bloating) and/or flushing it out (pee) to dilute or get rid of the salt to bring you back into balance. These fluctuations in the amount of liquid sloshing around the pipes of your veins literally raises the pressure within. However, once it's gone, it comes back into balance - permanently - until you eat too much salt again.

If you stop eating too much salt, you're blood pressure will literally normalize in the time it takes to pee it out. The problem lies in the constant flow of salt in our diets, and it's not from the salt shaker on the restaurant table or the little pot of salt you use to season your homecoooking.

It comes from over processed food. As I was taught in culinary school, salt is added towards the end of a recipe and you keep tasting until you have just enough to make it delicious. Once it's delicious, there is a window -- you can keep adding it get a diminising return, but soon enough it'll go from delicious to disgustingly salty, and you have to throw it out and start again. There is only so much salt a food will take, unless...

Pretzels with salt on the outside taste super salty because pure rocks of salt hit your tongue first thing. However, if you dissolve that same ratio of salt and bake it into a muffin or process it into a breakfast cereal, it won't be noticed. Why process the salt as such? There is a flavor benefit, but also by adding more and more salt, the shelf-life the the food-stuff is extended, meaning a more efficient industrial food chain, meaning more profit at the expense of your blood pressure.

It's the same thing with sugar, which also has a preservative effect when processed into food. Coca Cola adds caffeine to their product for various reasons, but the main one is flavor -- not because caffeine is delicious; caffeine is one of the most bitter substances we consume. Without caffeine, Coca Cola's sugar makes it way too sweet for human consumption -- caffeinating it lowers the sweetness profile to trick you into finishing a whole can, or bottle, or whatever.

So it's good news that there is a plan afoot to label high-sodium foods on menus in NYC, just as NYC was the leader in calorie labeling on menus of chains with more than 15 outlets, now a national law. It's not even about the exact amount of salt, only when the amount is totally bonkers:

Some will surely use the study to conclude that the “war on salt,” as Scientific American called the political protest around it several years ago, is unjustified. But the city’s measure to place symbolic saltshakers next to individual menu items with at least 2,300 milligrams of sodium — again, the full, recommended daily allotment — is far from a call to arms. Beyond that there is an inequality argument to be made in the name of such labeling.

The OTHER NRA (National Restaurant Association) is of course against it, as they represent food profit at all cost, just as the the NRA represent gun sales at all cost. The fact is crappy food with tons of preservative salt fall on the the diets of those who can afford the impact of bad health the least. If society is measured by how we protect the weakest among us -- children, elderly, the physically handicapped and mentally ill, prisoners, minorities and the poor -- then this law (as well as restrictions on hyooooj soda portions) is good governance and the moral thing to do. Of course, if you just want to sell sell sell it's to your advantage for the buyer beware, and more specifically, the buyer unaware, because what we are talking about here is not a restriction, but the arming of the populace with information against those who see them as nothing but profit centers.

WEEKLY AVERAGE:2496
Trending in the right direction. Bike season ramping up.
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BIKE CREDIT: 1530
MONDAY COUNT: 1943
SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6am, 8.5 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea, 150mg caffeine

BREAKFAST 1 : 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BIKE SNACK: 10:30am, homemade granola bar, 330 cal

BIKE SNACK: 11:45am, gatorade, Fritos, 770 cal

BIKE SNACK: 2pm, donuts. 620 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, momma salad, cashews, 350 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, chocolate milk, 500 cal

DINNER: 7pm, stouffer's french bread pizzas, poppa salad, 1040 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2600

SLEPT: 9pm-12am, 1am-6am,  8 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:30am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, steel cut oatmeal,  450 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, beef patty, chicken soup, momma salad, pickles, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, cashews, 250 cal

DINNER: 7pm, lemon sole, roasted asparagus, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, kind bar, nutella, 490 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2730

SLEPT: 9pm-10:30pm, 1:30am-6am, 6 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

AM SNACK: 8:30am, 3 turkey sausage patties, +/- 250 cal

BREAKFAST 1: 10:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:15pm, fruit smoothie, 450 cal

LUNCH: 4:15pm,  grilled pork tenderloin,  poppa salad with dressing,  600 calcal

PM SNACK: 5pm, momma salad, and cashews, 350 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, burrito, diet coke, 920 cal
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BIKE CREDIT: 1020 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 2330

SLEPT: 10:30pm-1am,  11:45am-1pm, 3.75hr

AM SNACK: 3am, iced green tea, 150 mg caffeine

BIKE SNACK: 5:30am, homemade granola bar, 300 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am,  Fage with honey, almonds and vanilla, kind var, 650 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, good grilled cheese, momma salad, +/- 900 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, skyline-style chili with cheddar over buttermilk waffles, pop salad, chocolate creme brûlée, +/- 1500 cal
Homecooked, not resto.
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2880

SLEPT: 9pm-5:30am, 8.5hrs

AM SNACK: 6am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, fishball noodle soup, pork and vegetable dumplings, tea, +/- 1000 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, popcorn popped in bacon fat, momma salad, +/- 900 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, chocolate chips & cashews, +/- 600 cal

EVEING SNORT: 9:30pm, whiskey, +/- 200 cal

The Donald Trump Diet

I don't really hide the political thread that runs through this blog; I firmly believe in the responsibility of a government for and by the people to look after their best interests. The personal is political. While government should not intrude into the bedrooms or uteruses of consenting adults, they SHOULD intrude into the safety features of the mattresses in that bedroom and the assured availability of tampons and scientifically proven birth control methods that affect them thar uteri.

So no, the government should not tell you how much soda you may or may not drink. The government SHOULD ban the advertising of all food other than vegetables to children and SHOULD restrict the portions of soda intended as a single serving over a certain size. That's not nanny-state, that's just good governing for the people, by the people. And by "governing by people" I mean people who are educated and know more about specialized topics than you or I.

So while giving Donald Drumpf more media attention is a bit like giving oxygen to a flame, there is no ignoring when such a big political story crosses paths with food and nutrition. Drumpf is a fraud of a brand, and he sells his brand to the highest bidders. Look at how he has debased his brand for profit over the years. It's not just steaks from the Sharper Image...

...and it's not just stuffed crust pizza (wait, isn't pizza the food of IMMIGRANTS?!)...

...and it's not just trying to save the sales of a fast food dinosaur...

....and it's not just some really gross looking oreos...

...and it's not just some low end ethanol in a "classy" bottle...

It's also a blatant disrespect for poor people, fat people, and god forbid poor fat people on food stamps...

Sure, the first 5 videos kinda entertain and crack me up -- Drumpf is not so much a successful business man, but a clownish mockery of what a successful businessman is supposed to be, and shilling for crappy pizza, crappy burgers, crappy cookies and suspiciously sourced steaks and booze are (relatively) harmless.

But don't confuse a clown exploiting a brand for a leader, or what is clownish in the pretend-world of entertainment will become our national nightmare. Drumpf-logic says since McDonald's is so good at making large amounts of food that doesn't poison people and make money while doing it, they should be in charge of all school lunches. It's not a large leap. And from there, it's not such a large leap to watering all our crops with sports drinks, because electrolytes are what the body craves...

I know I'm probably preaching to the quire here -- people with so little information and such shallow thinking to actually vote for a Donald Drumpf probably don't read a blog like this. Still, it just....hurts.

WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2,564
Good eating week, but still thinking about the idea that all calories are not equal, how while my vegetable intake can be goosed up a little, and how carbs and starches need to shift a little more over to fats and proteins. Last meal of the week was at a steakhouse, avoided a heavy appetizer or a starch, and it was the first time I've finished a steakhouse steak, and felt pretty good walking out and the rest of the evening, with no cravings. Interesting.
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MONDAY COUNT: 2490
SLEPT: 9:30pm - 6:30am, 9 hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1 : 11:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 1:30pm, steel cut oatmeal, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3:30pm, beef patty, momma salad, chicken soup, 580 cal

DINNER: 6pm, lemon sole, asparagus, poppa salad with dressing, 600 cal

EVENING SNACKS: 8pm, kind bar, handful of animal crackers, popcorn, +/- 700 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2430

SLEPT: 9pm-5am,  8 hrs

AM SNACK: 5:30am,  iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, fruit smoothie,  450 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, mushroom curry, pickles 490 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

DINNER: 5:30pm, vegetarian dim sum, ice cream, +/-1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, handful of animal crackers, +/- 100 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2700

SLEPT: 9pm-6am, 9 hrs

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea


BREAKFAST 1: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:45pm, Fage with honey, vanilla, almonds, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3pm, bacon, poppa salad with dressing,  440cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, momma salad, and cashews, 350 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, cury pork tonkatsu, gyoza, octopus balls, miso soup, water, +/- 1000 cal

EVENING SNACK: 910pm, Asian cookies +/- 300 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2480

SLEPT: 10:30pm-6am, 7.5hr

AM SNACK: 6:15am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST 1: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 450  cal

LUNCH: 3pm, momma salad, sausages, sauteed mushrooms, kind bar, 670 cal

DINNER: 6pm, adult grilled cheese, half a poppa salad, tomato soup, small slice of cheesecake, beer, +/- 1200 cal
Homecooked, not resto.
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2720

SLEPT: 11pm-3am, 4:30am-6:30am, 6hrs

AM SNACK: 7am, iced green tea

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 12:45pm, fage with vanilla, honey, almonds, 450 cal

LUNCH: 3:15pm, shrimp with shiratki noodles and oyster sauce, poppa salad with dressing, 530 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, momma salad, veggie straws, 230 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, half a slice of streets, +/- 150 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, 14 oz steak, string beans, a few potato chips and a pretzel stick, half a large brownie dessert, +/- 1200 cal