Weigh In: Girthy

190-->192.6-->196.8
After weighing myself this morning, I did my lifting routine -- my single warm-up pull up is complete and while not easy, is readily accomplishable. While doing push ups, sit ups and getting dressed in the mirror (something I usually never do), I was consciously looking closely for changes. I put on clothes that previously were just a little small -- a medium button down shirt, a pair of corduroys with a 32 waist. Looking closely in the mirror, my life-long moobs look a little less moobalicious, and more, I dunno, musclymoobish? Mubbs? 

The #1 google image search result for "Mubbs"

Despite both my slightly distorted self-perception of my physical being and the near seven pounds I've picked up this past winter, evidence seems to point out that I'm smaller in girth. The new benchmarks in strength and the loosening of my pants and belt over the past 2 or three months matched with the weight gain can only mean I've put on some muscle....

OOOOH YEEEEAH!

....which doesn't really appeal to me. I want to be strong, sure, but aesthetically I would prefer to be small and lean, not big n' muscly.  Over the winter I've religiously lifted weights twice a week, and increased the length and intensity as the soreness that it produced receded. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the results are starting to let themselves be known. I guess for so many years I honestly believed that while exercise and less food would have an impact, it would never work for me because somehow my body would be an exception. Despite that noise in the back of my head, I've pushed forward, not expecting results, but going ahead regardless because the alternate would be more kidney stones, diabetes and hurting my kids through my inability to be healthy.

Spring is about to spring, I've already kicked up my cycling habit. Until the winter, I'm going to cut back my lifting to once a week. Food, however....

Last Friday I got a notice that there was a leak in the gas line and the gas was being turned off until further notice -- no oven, no burners. I don't cook much over the weekend, so it was no big deal. Con Ed came on Monday, and….might have gas back at the end of the week. My co-op supplied a "free" hot plate, a ridiculously underpowered piece of crap that is not strong enough to boil water or cook anything. I rolled with it, but I would be lying if my vanity said, "Damn, and this is the week I weigh in!" It was an adjustment on Monday, figuring out that the hot plate was worthless and I had nothing immediately on hand to eat without the oven, so I ordered in, but after that, had enough lead time to accommodate the hand tied behind my back by the lack of my main cooking tool.

Today (Friday) I got another notice that the entire gas line needs to be replaced. Not only will I not have gas to use the stove top or oven for the foreseeable future, but there has to be major construction in my apartment and things will not be back to functional for at least a month. On one hand, ugg. But on the other hand, I know I'm a creative person with a culinary education, this is a well-needed challenge to interrupt, expand and give some interest to my weekly food routine...and hopefully still keep up on the calories and vegetable consumption.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2331

Average is lower this week probably due to the fact I knew I was weighing in, but in the end got the result I expected. Still, I'm good with it.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2280

SLEPT: 11:45pm - 6:30am, 6.75 hr
Intended to wake up at 4:30 to lift, but my body still hasn't quite recovered from the 75 mile bike ride Saturday and less than 5 hours of sleep will usually leave me a mess, anyway.

First day of suffering under no gas for the oven. Ordered in, too much food. Protein-heavy, rice-based noodles go easier on my than wheat-based. Purim snacks followed up accidentally. Still, despite it feeling like 1000 calories, I ate wisely during the day and didn't go too far out of my budget

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, chicken mushroom soup, health salad, pickles, 530cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, crackers from Grazebox, 185 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled ranch dressing, 120 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, tofu pad thai, chicken satay, 4 hamentashen, +/- 1000 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2775
SLEPT: 8:30pm-2am, 5-6:30am, 7 hrs
Birthday. Ate some special cookies from England with my kids, was much better than a cake with candles. Seeing Mili with what seemed like the chocolate of 20 cookies smeared all over his face when it was just one cookie, well, thats a present in itself.

AM SNACK: 2:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, Steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, Madras lentils,pickles, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, with pretzel and almonds from graze box , 235 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with  bottled ranch dressing,  120 cal

DINNER: 6pm, Ethiopian lentils and cabbage, 480 cal
Never had a calorie count on Ethiopian before -- prepacked "fresh" dinner from the local supermarket, surprised to find it, as the place is typically a little low-rent. But, exactly what I need to get through the gas-less time. Still, friggin' $10 for maybe $1 worth of ingredients -- cooking, transportation, packaging, marketing and markup shouldn't make it that much, this line is going to fail. This meal would be cheaper in a restaurant. If it was $5, it would be a bargain, and $7 would be OK. Above $8, it's only for when the gas is out!

BIRTHDAY SNACKING:  6:45pm, digestive cookies, small portion of potato chips, small portion of cheese doodles, +/- 800 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2145

SLEPT: 8:30pm - 4am, 7.5 hr
Stopped by the newly reopenned Dojo for dinner, very disappointed with the menu and the vibe, left without going in to an ol' falafel shack on St. Marks I used to hit up in high school.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, andouille chicken sausage, sofrito black beans, health salad, pickles, 440cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, crackers from Grazebox, 200 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled ranch dressing, 120 cal

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, cashews, 240

DINNER: 8pm, falafel platter with hummus, baba & grape leaves,  +/- 700 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 570 cal
THURSDAY COUNT: 2205

SLEPT: 10:30pm - 3am, 4.5 hr
Excellent but very cold ride to Coney in the morning, when is this winter gonna be done? Intended a very different packed lunch, but was busy at work then had to jet to parent teacher confrences, so hit up Little Poland on the way downtown. Really needed it, would have been a bonking space case if I didn't get some nice heavy carbs in me. (Gonna keep lunch at work for tomorrow.)

BIKE SNACK: 3:15am, homemade granola bar, iced green tea, 100mg caffeine, 465 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, mixed boiled perogies with onions, side of kraut, +/- 800 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, soy crackers with chili sauce from Grazebox, 180 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, cashews, 240

DINNER: 6:15pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, fritos, diet coke, 755

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2250

SLEPT: 10pm - 4am, 6 hr

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, o cal

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am, fruit smoothie, 400 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, soy tempeh, jodhpur lentils, steamed string beans, pickles, 580 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, herby crackers  from Grazebox, 190 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled ranch dressing, 120 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, BLT, homefries, a little cake, water, +/- 800 cal

If food was money: Budget vs. Plan

You go on a diet. Money goes on a budget.

Budget is an ugly word. Remove a lower curve and a suspiciously French T and y'got 'Pudge'. There has been a lot of life changes the past three months that I've referred to obliquely, most of which are outside the scope of this blog. However, one of them is strangely simpatico with the rhythm and reasoning of what I write here.

I do not refer to the weekly emissions of blotivating and poorly researched "Google-thinkin'" essays about food, but the food diary I keep that follows below it. (I know, you don't read it, I don't blame you.) The purpose of writing it and putting it up to public consumption/ridicule is that it keeps me honest. It's easy to snarf down an extra thousand calories of chips here, an extra 800 calories of cookies there without thinking twice and forgetting it the next day. However, when you know whatever goes in your mouth has to be written down before its forgotten, then you think twice. And when you sit down at the end of the week to figure out your average calorie consumption, you reflect on what is good or bad about your habits, both food-wise and whatever triggered it.

The most boring plan ever.

"Budget" is harsh. It delimits what you can spend.  It's a negative, it implies going without. A budget is a diet, and we all know all diets either fail or become....an eating plan for life, forever more. "Plan"is kinder. It says what you plan to do, and allows for a certain flexibility. I've realized that while I've started with a calorie budget to force me to lose weight, it has been evolving to more of an eating plan where I use hard-earned wisdom in determining what (and how much) I consume. I guess that's why despite my regularly busting my calorie budget the last few months through the harsh winter, my weight has hovered stably.

Since the new year, I resolved to start treating my finances as an adult. Despite never really having any money issues up to this point, I do have young kids whose expenses are my expenses. Just as their existence has been inspiring me to get a grip on my health and fitness, it has also inspired me to take measures to make sure I can always provide for them, and provide well. Haughtily, I thought, I don't want to budget...hmmm, but can I plan?

Me, a few months ago.

There is a lot of apps out there to help people lose weight. I've experimented with "My Fitness Pal" and a few others, and found them all frustrating. Most foods aren't in there, or aren't particularly accurate. Calorie counting is such mushy science -- no one really agrees on the energy content of most foods, and I've just had to muddle through. Vibing the official calories crossed with reducing portion sizes, recalibrating macronutrients and food groups to trustworthy nutritional thinking and paying attention to how my body responds; all these factors just don't have an app yet that can handle them.

Magical Canadian Eyebrow Man & alternative nutrition guru: NOT a source of trustworthy nutritional thinking.

While a restaurant pizza's calorie value might be shrouded in mystery, how much your going to pay after tax and tip is not. Just as I've used this blog to manually record every thing I eat and it's caloric values, I've been using the software/app combo "You Need a Budget" to manually record every penny in and out, to get a clear picture of what my financial life is like. The clarity and good feelings I get from finally getting a handle on my eating has now bled over to my bills, statements and stubs (and soon several new accounts, insurance policies and maybe even a property). I don't quite have a budget so much as a clearer plan for spending, saving and goals. I feel very lucky to have figured this out without having an emergency prompt me, and it's the concept of a "calorie budget vs. eating plan" that brought me there.

I've lost 45 pounds so far over 2 years. It's taken some focused planning, educating, investing, moderation and trying new things. Before I tried, they idea of even bothering to try to lose weight seemed too big and overwhelming to even try. I was wrong. Will growing 45 pounds worth of savings and assets to appreciate now and pass along to my children be that much different?

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2602

Monday was a day on an airplane. Didn't record it as I was enjoying vacation-brain, but I did pull back on the eating, simply from a sense of responsibility and guilt.

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2155

SLEPT: 8pm-4am, 8 hrs
Jetlag coming back is easy to get over. Slept 8 hardcore hours of sleep, despite the usual wiggly toddler sleeping by my side.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 8:45am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, chicken mushroom soup, health salad, pickles, 530cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, pistachios from Grazebox, 200 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with bottled ranch dressing, 120 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, whole wheat spagetti with homemade tomato sauce and grated cheese, broiled asparagus, 560 cal
Ran out of fish, need a Costco run desperately. Carb-heavy protein-light dinner sure, but it's not a new habit, and a nice departure from the regular that kept within budget.

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 3045

SLEPT: 9:15pm-4am, 6.75 hrs
Good day, but so hungry in the evening, real physical hunger, not from stress, or lack of sleep, or emotional turmoil. I think a resolution for next month is to measure these snacks properly, that'll probably shrink 'em. Don't think I should eliminate them, as they keep me sane, but they should stand up to scrutiny.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, Steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, Madras lentils,pickles, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, with black pepper rice crackers from , 205 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with  bottled ranch dressing,  120 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, cashews, 330 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, shirataki stir fry with shrimp, shitaki mushrooms and oyster sauce, 360 cal 

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, cheetos, 300 cal

EVENING GORGE: 9pm, peanut butter & chocolate syrup, +/- 600 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2420

SLEPT: 11pm-4am, 5 hrs
Good work out in the morning, felt strong. Nice dinner at a friend's house, worth the calories.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am,  Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, tofu and grilled onions deglazed in wine with sirracha, quinoa, roasted brussels, pickles, 815 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, with cheesy crackers from , 240 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with  bottled ranch dressing,  120 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, shrimp dumplings, pork & chive dumplings, scallion pancake, small slice of homemade poundcake, +/- 800 cal
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FRIDAY COUNT: 2790

SLEPT: 9:30pm-4am, 6.5 hrs
Woke up feeling pleasantly slightly sore from yesterday's lift. In honor of spring, washed all my windows inside and out before the sun came up.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9am,  fruit smoothie, 400 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, roasted brussels, pickles, 610 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, with smokey crackers from graze box , 220 cal

DINNER 1: 5:30pm, 1 slice of pizza, a few bites of cake, +/- 400 cal

DINNER 2: 8pm, tasting menu at Le Cirque, no wine, +/- 1000 cal

Gillingham, Kent: Culinary Capital of My Habitual Vacation

Gillingham's finest (non-Indian, non-fish n chips) cuisine

This past weekend I spent in Gillingham, a small once-agricultural town about an hour south-east of London, England. Before marriage, I'd travel there for an extended weekend almost every year, but have only gotten over once in the past 7 years. Now that the long streak is broken, I can see more clearly what drives me back every so often: it's the same thing that drives my eating style. I'm a creature of habit who seeks comfort in familiarity.

A little back story: Over 25 years ago, I was a counselor at a summer camp which participated in a program that brought over young Europeans to be counselors, too. They'd get airfare and a stipend out of it, along with some cheap travel at the end of the summer. I became close friends (and occasionally more) with a few. When I lived in London as a student a few years late, I made it my business to catch up with my long lost friends and reestablish some ties that still bind today. Between semi-annual visits to England and semi-annual visits of my friends to the US, I now find myself with life-long friends across the pond, and I'm life-long friends with their families, spouses, parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, nephews and nieces, and in recent years children and, yes, my Godson, Elijah. (What a Jew can do to guide him in matters of the Church of England is beyond me, but, hey, I just go with it.)

Elijah, you should always have matzoh in your cupboard, ideally from 10 years ago. Then you will be a man.

It's not just about the people and the love, it's all  a little bit less high-falutin'. Of the 20-odd times I've taken a trip to Gillingham, this is how it is:

1. Fly Thursday night, arrive Friday morning.
2. Excellent pre-packaged sandwich from Boots with a funny tasting diet coke, bag of chips, chocolate bar to eat on the tube-ride into London.
3. Traditional Cornish pasty at Victoria to eat on the commuter train to Gillingham
4. Go to my friends home (I have a key), shower and power-nap. Pre dinner tea. Digestive biscuits. 
5. Dinner: Indian food. Beer
6. Saturday morning: CRUMPETS. BRITISH BACON. More Digestives
7. Saturday afternoon: Food shopping at the local super market. Dark chocolate digestive biscuits. Tea. Toast. 
8. Saturday eve: Fish n' Chips
9. Sunday morning: More crumpets. Probably Digestives.
10. Sunday day: Traditional Sunday dinner at my friend's sister's house. Beer in the evening if possible.
11. Monday: Another pre-packaged sandwich and a chocolate bar from a convenience store in the airport. Two large roles of dark chocolate Digestives in the carry-on.

Mr. Porky makes fine English beer....finer.

After not really doing this routine for so many years, doing the run-through now was both comforting and familiar, but also had the feeling of a habit of another person all together. First, I noticed I needed to cut some of the portions in half (one sandwich and one bag of chips instead of 2 each, a small pasty instead of a large, etc) because I certainly would have felt ill if I didn't.

Second, my friend joked that I was a creature of habit when I insisted on these things. She enjoys the habit, as it brings comfort and familiarity to her too, but still, it's all a bit lock-step. And it's a remnant of the lock-step of the typically poor way I used to eat, not just on vacation.

To be fair, there is a bit of flexibility -- I'm not manic about hitting these markers. The fact is that from my jaded NYC perspective, the dining options are not that great in England in general, and Gillingham specifically. And something like a family-filled homemade multi-course meal with hours of hanging out and conversation is hardly a bad habit to keep. It's not for nothing that "Sunday dinner" is a practically a non-denominational holy activity in British culture, and one I wish was more common in the U.S.

Dalene's sacrement. Ain't no pudding like a Yorkshire pudding 'cause a Yorkshire pudding DON'T STOP!

When I was a student in London in the early 90s, I was struck by the utter lack of McDonalds (not the case anymore) and the shockingly bad quality of two New York staples, pizza and Chinese (still the case.) Hot dogs literally tasted frighteningly of lips and buttholes, the best thing in restaurants and in pre-packaged food from a supermarket was Indian, and any ice cream that was not expensive seemed to use beef-fat, which is a shockingly horrible sensory experience. Burger King has a nicely done vegetarian bean burger. I could go on, a reverie of a whole different food life I lived decades ago and thousands of miles away.

If life and works continues at it has been, I hope to go back in about two years, but with one potentially major routine-killer -- I'm going to bring my daughter, and I know enough about kids that you don't just need flexibility, you need to make sacrifices sometimes to keep them safe and happy. Hopefully I can accustom Edie to Indian food and fish n' chips by then, or there will be more than one visit to the Gillingham High Street McDonalds in two year's time.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2436

Shortened week, as I flew Thursday night. Not particularly happy about the constant budget-busting, but not quite alarmed yet, either.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2035

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:30am, 8 hrs
After changing the clocks effectively making me wake at 2am on Sunday then having a great kid & friend filled day, I hit the bed hard and had my first good, deep sleep in a week or so.

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, chicken mushroom soup, health salad, pickles, 530cal
Made this soup last week, no calorie count, but everything in it (homemade defatted chicken stock, shiritaki macaroni noodles, fresh and dried mushrooms with it's stock) is low cal naturally, so I'm guestimating the pint of soup at 50 cal. Feels honest.

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, oat crackers with onion marmalade from Grazebox, 210 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with bottled tomato dressing, 110 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, tilapia, asparagus, 440 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2665

SLEPT: 8:30pm-3:30am, 7 hrs

AM SNACK: 4:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, Steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, madras lentils, pickles, 680 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, with nori crackers from Grazebox, 160cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with bottled tomato dressing,  110 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, grilled breast, roasted brussel sprouts, kimchi, 545 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7:15pm, cheezits, 210 cal

EVENING GORGE: 7:30pm, peanut butter, +/- 500 cal
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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2665

SLEPT: 8:30pm-12:30am, 1:30am-4:30am, 7 hrs
Had another break this evening, this time with chocolate syrup. Felt right, a snack, not a gorge.

AM SNACK: 4:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, vanilla and almonds, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm,tofu and grilled onions deglazed in wine with sirracha, quinoa, roasted brussels, pickles, 700 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, wasabi peas  from graze box, 230 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with bottled tomato dressing, 110 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 320 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, shirataki stir fry with shrimp, shitaki mushrooms and oyster sauce, 360 cal 

EVENING SNACK: 8:30p, almond butter & chocolate syrup, +/- 500 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2380

SLEPT: 10:30pm-4am, 5.5 hrs
Left work early for the airport. Not as off-the-hook as it could have been, in preparation of the hard-core eating that will happen all weekend.

AM SNACK: 4:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:15am, Steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm,almond butter and grape jelly on whole wheat, health salad, pickles, 610 cal
Brought brussels, but didn't eat them, just didn't feel like it.

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, Italian crackers from graze box, 240 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, kind bar, 210 cal

AIRPORT DINING: 7pm, chicken nuggets, fries, diet coke, 860 cal

Let's get a good chortle at the diseased man!

What the internet IS good for.

There is a guy that has been getting a lot of clicks in the blogosphere, which has been making me irrationally cringe and feel miserable. The buzz is mainly, "ha ha cool, pizza, amirite?" and sometimes tempered unhelpfully with a "weird, probably harmless." The guy in question has eaten nothing but pizza for the last 25 years.

I love pizza as much as the next guy - actually, probably more. I went to culinary school specifically to learn to properly cook the foods I love, and it was not for nothing that the entirety of my culinary career was spent in pizza restaurants. My actual wifely-husbandly honeymoon began and ended with visits to New Haven's Pepe's (CLAM PIE.) My birthday is usually commemorated with a visit to a notable pie shop. My weekly sinful food are French bread pizzas. And damn if nearly every single party I attend with my children are pizza-fests, week in week out.....and I have to admit, I don't mind. My name is Norbert, I'm a New Yorker and I love me some pizza.

Hi, Norbert! I love me some pizza, too! Or three or four forever and ever....

But this guy is at another level.

I've been eating pizza exclusively every day of my life for the past 25 years, and I'm not just talking about a slice of pizza every day. I usually eat an entire 14" pizza, and I only eat cheese pizza. I never get sick of it. If I go to one pizza shop or another brand, it's like eating a completely different meal.

To cut to the chase, this habit is most likely caused by nothing good.

Like when I was four or five, we lived in the backwoods of North Carolina, where I went to daycare in Ms. Stanfill’s home. She would try to feed all of us Brunswick stew every day, which is not something you would ever feed a five-year-old. It's either chicken, pork, or rabbit with beef and okra, Lima beans, corn, potatoes, and tomatoes. I would protest and try to run away, but she would grab me. I can't remember whether she would beat me or spank me, but I know that she would throw me in a closet as my punishment for not eating the stew. I would sit in there crying and screaming for a couple hours until my mom came to pick me up.  

Ha ha hilarious, pizza!

I hate the Internet sometimes. This guy can't go out to a restaurant with fiance that isn't pizza. He explains how his dad pretty much eats mostly steak, even after multiple heart bypasses. He himself has diabetes, despite being relatively trim. This ain't cute and this ain't funny -- it's sad. He needs help to get out of what is far beyond a rut and is pretty much a straight-up eating disorder, complimented by an Internet-friendly food addiction.

Even if it doesn't kill him, he's just not living life, no matter how much he protests or Internet commentators dismiss him as, "durrrr, well, it's his choice, he's not harming anyone, durrr". People who are sick should be helped, not used for entertainment or dismissed as inconsequential.

I can identify with this guy quite a bit. My mom would serve really poorly made scrambled eggs 3-5 mornings a week, and made me eat them. It got to the point I'd slip them into a napkin between my legs while I pretended to eat them. It wasn't so much the poorly executed eggs that really made my 5 year old self so disturbed, but my lack of choice and power in moving away from something I did not like.

To this day, I can not eat egg dishes. I'm fine cooking with eggs and eating eggs in a dish, but the taste, texture, smell and sensory experience of even the best egg dishes activate my gag reflexes. Though I did force/trick myself to try 10s of different egg dishes while in culinary school, I have not had any before or since.

Unlike pizza guy, this has not really interrupted my life, my relationships or my health, so while it runs along similar pathways, does not rise to the level of a disorder or addiction. But dude, I feel ya. I just wish more people would.
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2631

Again, the weekly average creeps up solidly past my upper limit of 2200, but I'm cool with it. Eating doesn't feel desperate or compulsive, just eating to satisfy hunger. I think the lack of lots of extra calories the previous weekend might have set me up a little for more hunger during the week. Hmmm, I wonder if it works like that.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2120

SLEPT: 10:30pm-4:30am, 6 hrs
Not quite enough sleep, but it felt good to get up early and lift weights -- due to illness last week, had to skip a session. Doing it now was a real sign that my health is mostly back. Had friends over in the evening from out of town, made some special treats, and would have been nutty not to eat with them. Despite breaking my weekday sweets ban, it felt good and right -- I kept it to one small portion, and it was homemade and high quality. And most importantly, I ate light enough during the day to keep it in budget!

AM SNACK: 4:15 am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, boxed tomato soup, health salad, pickles, 590cal
Last time I had this boxed soup over the summer I quite liked it, but today could only get through half of it -- intolerably sweet. The pint of soup had 34g of "organic milled cane sugar". Oh for f@cks sake, it's table sugar. And over TWO TABLESPOONS worth, Jesus Christ, no wonder it tastes candied to me. Well, stock was done over the weekend, hopefully I can bang out some non-sweet soup by next Monday.

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, mango chutney and dip stick from Grazebox, 180 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 150 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, tilapia, asparagus, 440 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, half a potato knish, tiny bowl of ice cream and brownie, +/- 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 3025

SLEPT: 8:30pm-4:30am, 8 hrs
Woke up pleasantly sore in the pecs and shoulders, nice because I purposefully pushed it a little yesterday, nice to see my body respond as expected.

AM SNACK: 4:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds and vanilla, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, jodhpur lentils,pickles, 660 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, with snack bag of pirate booty, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with homemade bottled tomato dressing,  140 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, Stouffer's French Bread Pizzas, 820 cal

EVENING BINGE: 7:30pm, cheetos, brownies, +/- 800 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2765

SLEPT: 8:30pm-2:30am, 6 hrs
Went a little off the reservation in the evening again, felt OK, not so compulsive. I think it may be related to me easing back on the eating over last weekend.

AM SNACK: 3am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal
Different brand of oatmeal. Hmmm, I think I like it.

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken sausage, brussel sprouts, quinoa, sofrito black beans, pickles, 780 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, cinnamon pretzels  from graze box, 235 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, poppa salad with bottled tomato dressing, 110 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 320 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, shirataki stir fry with shrimp, shitaki mushrooms and oyster sauce, 360 cal 

EVENING GORGE: 8:45pm, a little ice cream and brownie, bowl of cheetos, +/- 500 cal
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THURSDAY COUNT: 2200

SLEPT: 10:30pm-4:15am, 5.75 hrs
Trashed my poppa salad, smelt a little off. Skipped normal Thursday evening activities and just went home and got to bed early, in hopes of allowing a pre-family/work bike ride. Ate cheetos, but just squeaked into budget, huzzah!

AM SNACK: 4:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds and vanilla, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, grilled chicken breast, quinoa, roasted brussels, kimchi, 630 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, with spicy crackers from Grazebox, 220 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, cashews, 340 cal

DINNER: 6pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, diet coke, 435

EVENING SNACK: 7:15pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 590cal
FRIDAY COUNT: 3055

SLEPT: 8:30pm-2:45am, 6.25 hours sleep
Banged out a nice Coney Island ride form 3:30-6am, invigorating in the sub-freezing (but not TOO sub freezing) weather. Felt tired but happy at work. Plans for the evening fell through at the last minute, but was fine, because I was pleasantly exhausted from the day.

AM SNACK: 3am, homemade granola bar, iced green tea, 100mg caffeine, 225 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, health salad, roasted brussels, pickle, 730 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, with Italian crackers from Grazebox, 220 cal

PM SNACK: 3:45pm, kind bar, 210 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, 2 hotdogs with lots of toppings, french fries, a little cookie & ice cream, +/- 800 cal

EVENING GORGE: 7pm, homemade ice cream, box of cookies, +/- 1000 cal

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WEEKEND REPORT

Good weekend, got another early morning bike ride in on Sunday. Eating never real went crazy -- ate a bit too much at a daytime party at a bar on Saturday, ended up pretty much skipping dinner, which is what a normal person would do, I suppose. Had kids and friends I don't see nearly enough over Sunday evening and we ordered in pizza n' stuff, I ordered just enough food so I didn't over eat, and it worked out perfectly. No left overs to feel compelled to eat so as to prevent waste. Instead, just spent a few bucks less and everybody still had enough.

Weigh In: Winter Pudge Edition

191.8-->190-->192.6

Oh, the humanity! After the drama last month of thinking I gained 5 pounds, then the next week at my annual check up, found I actually lost 2, I was hoping for another tiny loss. Instead, there is a tiny gain, but in reality, I know this is just the normal fluctuation of my body reaching it's new set point with the amount of fuel and exercise I put in it.

February has been brutal in terms of weather and lack of real cycling. Looking at the chart below, February has been my fattest month of the year for over half a decade (and probably my whole life), so to plateau instead of balloon as this time of year is a good thing.

Things to improve on in March

• Start the cycling season!
• Start using a heart rate monitor for training rides to focus on effort as well as distance
• Less binging during the week
• Less compulsive eating on the weekends

Things to pat myself on the back for

• Made it through the winter, both literally and to an extent figuratively, while retaining my shapely figure
• Weight lifting might not be showing results outwardly, but I definitely feel them when I run my hands over different spots, to the extent I get a little weirded out when there are hard bumps where their used to be soft spots (in, uh, a good way)
• Nuts fully integrated into diet, pushing out less healthy snacks.

Just got into a bit of a comment war on Facebook about the new nutrition labels being proposed by the Feds, will definitely blow it out next week!
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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2446

Funny, with such a huge day like Friday, I thought my weekly average would be through the roof, but in reality when you just work the numbers and take the emotional charge out of it, in reality it's not so horrible. It's not great, but it's not oh-my-gawd-I'm-gonna-give-up bad. Didn't record the weekend eating this week, found myself pleasantly busy with friends, family and cooking. Unfortunately no real biking due to weather, but it's around the corner...

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MONDAY COUNT: 2660

SLEPT: 9:30pm-4am, 6.5 hrs
Good lift in the morning, still a bit achy from the two long rides over the weekend, but enervated. Took the long way to work by bike in the morning. Started feeling run down with a tetchy stomach in the afternoon, skipped the poppa salad. When I got home, my head was a little clouded and I didn't have the focus to cook properly, so leaned on some comforting convenience food which allowed me the energy to make sure the kids were good.

AM SNACK: 4:15 am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 11am, steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, falafel, butternut squash soup, health salad, pickles, 860 cal

PM SNACK: 3:45 pm, momma salad, pistachios from Grazebox, 200 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, Stouffer's French Bread pizzas, 840 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, cheetos, 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2085

SLEPT: 8:30pm-6:30am, about an hour of periods of being up, 9 hrs
Definitely have a bug, hitting the toilet a lot. Took some aspirin over night. Felt beat up but focused in the morning -- having two little kids can do that to a guy, y'just love them too much to be sick. Also, judging from the familiarity of the symptoms, I'm confident if I was 45 lbs heavier like I was 2 years ago, this would be a period of total bed & toilet rest, my body would totally shut down. Now lighter, I have the fortitude to push a little harder with grace.

AM SNACK: 6:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:15am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds and vanilla, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, chicken meatballs, steamed string beans, madras lentils, 660 cal

PM SNACK: 3 pm, momma salad, with spicy crackers and nuts from Grazebox, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing,  150 cal

DINNER: 6:45pm, grilled pork loin, roasted brussel sprouts, 410 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, cashews, 170 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 1950

SLEPT: 10pm-3am, 5 hrs
Still a bit ill, but improving. Good eating day, nice that the slight loss of appetite helped me avoid cravings, as jamming in anything extra would have definitely just upset  the system.

AM SNACK: 3:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 10am, steel cut oatmeal, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, grilled pork loin, roasted brussel sprouts, pickles, 430 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, with Korean rice crackers and nuts from Grazebox, 210 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing,  150 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 340 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, shirataki stir fry with shrimp, shitaki mushrooms and oyster sauce, 360 cal 

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2040

SLEPT: 9:30pm-5:30am, 8 hrs
Tried to wake at 4:30 to lift weights, but didn't feel 100% and decided the extra hour of sleep would be more beneficial to my immediate health than the tiny incremental improvement to mah muzkles. Good choice, as I definitely felt better at 5:30 than at 4:40.

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, Fage whole yogurt with honey, almonds and vanilla, 285 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, grilled pork loin, roasted brussel sprouts, pickles, 430 cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, with cheesy cracker mix from Grazebox, 240 cal

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing,  150 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, cashews, 340 cal

DINNER: 7:30pm, Subway 6" veggie burger sub, diet coke, 435

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FRIDAY COUNT: 3495

SLEPT: 1:30am-6:30am, 5 hours sleep
Unfortunately I could not get to sleep, after trying all my tricks, so I just got up and watched TV, and immediately felt really hungry. Part of this is the emotional noise, but matched with my body recovering it's health AND hunger, annoying bastard body! ;)

AM FEEDING: 12:30am-1:30am, 1 French bread pizza, half portion of popcorn popped in butter, 2 pretzels, +/- 800 cal

AM SNACK: 5:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 7am, apple/beet/celery/carrot/cayenne/cucumber/ginger juice, 160 cal

BREAKFAST 2: 9:45am, fruit smoothie, 410 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, ham & mustard on whole whet, health salad, pickle, 360cal

PM SNACK: 3pm, momma salad, with snack bag of pirate booty, 165 cal

DINNER: 5:15pm, 2 slices of streetza, +/- 600 cal

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, ice cream, cookies, chocolate, +/- 1000 cal