Weigh In

 208.8-->207.2-->204.0*

I'm down another loop on the new belt, so there is only one more loop to go, huh. I suspect after the summer, if it goes as I expect it will with the newly starting biking season, I may have to think about another flight of new corduroy pants. This past month I upped my weights, felt a new level of soreness but still can't. do. one. damn. pull up. I cut back my diet soda from 14oz a day to about 7oz every other day, and have found eating around 2000 calories is as satisfying as 2300 was when I started this mishagos.

Things to focus on the next month:

1. Knock out diet soda all together out of the week and into the weekend.
2. Keep refining weekend eating. I've started limiting the no-holds-barred eating-too-much-of-everything-except-vegetables to one day, and the second day should become a model for eating when I'm post-losing-weight and post-recording. That second day is less calories, but still rife with sugar. Gotta tighten that up.
3. Expand my vegetable & salad repertoire. Adding a new miso/tahini dressing helped, and mushrooms and leeks are rocking my world, but I'm still afraid of hitting a rut, which is the first stop to boredom, losing focus and reverting to bad habits.
4. Do. One. Damn. Pull up.

One new feature that is coming to this blog soon is once in a while, I'm going to choose one item that appears frequently in my weekly eating routine and really drill down into it - commonly accepted health benefits, history, my recipes and critiques of how it fits in a diet and, uh, if it's yummy or not. To my two readers who may or may not read down into my daily eating logs, feel free to email me what you'd like me to focus on in depth.

My original initial goals are in view: get down to 196 where my BMI says I'm merely "overweight" rather than "obese", and to do the aforementioned one. damn. pull up. When I hit one of these (hopefully before Spring is over), I think I'm gonna celebrate by putting out the dosh for a baby sitter on a week day and just ride my bike from sun up to sun down, hopefully ring up over 100 miles. And eat freely that day to stay far away from a bonk and be comfortable. Yeah, thats what I'm gonna do.

My cycling spirit animal.

*I actually weighed-in on Friday morning the 29th. Though I usually do the 1st, I figured if I weigh in Monday, I might get a false increase due to weekend eating. And on the 1st, I was 208.4, so I wonder if January's spike was exaggerated simply by the proximity of my weigh-in to my weekend gorging.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2131

Considering there as a major eating holiday and an appetite-revving bike ride this week, I did pretty darn good. 

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MONDAY COUNT: 2335

Travelled to deep dark NJ for a Passover with relatives I don't see any other time than this holiday. This one is thrown by my cousin, picking up exactly where my uncle left off, so this Seder has roots going back to the 50s -- and the food is similar. I've been eating this food, these recipes, since I was a kid, though a few things have changed. The gefilte has been upgraded from a can to a fresh loaf, I contribute knishes, and I haven't had my uncle's shpitzboom cookies since he passed away. However, the beef meatballs in ketchupy sauce with sweet matzo meal muffins have been consistent, as well as the strong ceremonial brandy and homemade soup. -sigh-

In the afternoon, B got me a surprise cake for my birthday, it was a bit difficult resisting eating a large wedge but somehow did it. I originally thought I'd freely eat today, and just restrict on Saturday and Sunday, but Saturday became a full-on cram-it-in day and I was on the edge of getting sick Monday morning, so I rolled as hardcore as possible....and the cake was it's victim!

Attempted to lift weights in the morning, but on my first pull-up hang, my arms cried out in pain and I decided to just skip this side of the week's routine -- my body is saying rest, so I guess I'll listen.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, steel cut oatmeal, 250 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, chicken sausage, steamed string beans, channa saag, momma salad, water, pickle, 685 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, 1 & 1/2 slices streetza, +/- 400 cal
A Passover tradition is to get a slice before arriving, as with the ceremony, sometimes it can be very late before you eat anything other than a scrap of matzo.

SEDER: 7:30pm, matzoh, small amount of grape juice, hillel sandwich, gefilte fish, meatballs & matzo mel muffins, matzoh ball soup, brisket, chicken, health salad, knish, shot of slivovitz plum brandy, diet sprite +/- 1000 cal
Edie went nuts on the grape juice to the exclusion of most food and even sweets, though I did a bit better. Ate enough to feel just a notch beyond comfortably full, which is the traditional way to feel after this kind of meal. The "health salad" was much rougher cut and much sweeter than my version, and had cucumbers in it, so I ate only a little. The only other two vegetables were carrot tsimis, which is waaaay too sweet for more than a nibble, and broccoli kugel, which was more of a baked egg/milk thing with a little green for color, he he. By the end of the night when all the sweets got rolled out, it was easy to avoid. Funny, in years past I always found space for some chocolate, this time I didn't even want any.

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2035
A bit busy with chores and catching up with lide, skipped the afternoon snack. Got tired and lazy for dinner, leaned on some frozen pizzas.

AM SNACK: 8:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, Fage whole yogurt with almonds, agave and vanilla, 300 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, grilled chicken breast, steamed string beans, momma salad, 515 cal

PM SNACK: 6pm, poppa salad with tahini miso dressing, 100 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, Stouffers French bread pizzas, 820 cal
Funny, this made me feel hungrier, but I sat with a quart of water and drank about half of it over 20 minutes following this meal, and THEN I felt the food finally hit my system. Huh, funny thing about these super-processed food products...

EVENING SNACK: 8:15pm, Fritos, 300 cal
Holy crap, I started getting bad sugar cravings an hour after this snack, undoubtedly set off by the double dose of French bread pizzas. White flour, it's a bitch.

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2165
Crunchiness of the poppa salad, my lord! I know it's super healthy and virtuous, but I was really hungry when eating it, and half the greens are low-nutrition ice berg lettuce (the junk food of lettuces), and the new garlic & lemon heightened miso tahini dressing was so good, that somehow my brain associated this salad with deep fried snacks. Weird. Like making love to an interesting, lovely but ugly person and suddenly realizing they're as beautiful as a supermodel, minus the vacuity. Sorry for the hippy daydream...

AM SNACK: 8:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal, 250 cal

LUNCH: 12pm, sardine and avocado on whole wheat toast, kimchi, momma salad, 625 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger juice, 160 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, stir fry with shirataki noodles, shrimp, broccoli, mushrooms and black bean sauce, poppa salad with miso tahini dressing, 7oz diet sprite,  530 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, Fritos, 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:45pm, Cheesy Poofs, 300 cal
Felt a mix of hunger and sugar cravings, and though I hoped my eating day was done, my budget was still below my old minimum of 2200, so I did a carby/fatty snack again. Still felt hungry and sugar-cravings, but blunted. I wonder if the 7oz of det sprite at 8:30 had anything to do with this...

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2055
Took the kiddies to the AMNH in the morning, packed lunch. It was still a little cold out, so we managed to wangle a table in the over-flowing cafeteria. While I ate my sammich and veg, Edie ate her sammich and apple and string cheese and Milli ate his steel cut oats, string cheese and blueberries, we were surrounded by families scarfing down huge plates of fried nuggets, greasy pizza, french fries, sugary sodas, cakes and other nutritional hobgoblins. I felt a little proud of my little ones, they enjoyed their food and didn't seem to be phased by the sad gluttony around us. I wonder how long THAT'LL last, he he.

AM SNACK: 8:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, fruit smoothie, 375 cal

LUNCH: 12:15pm, almond butter & jelly on whole wheat, momma salad, pickle, water, 540 cal

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, beef jerky, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 7:45pm, poppa salad with tahini miso dressing, 100 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, mahi-mahi, black beans, asparagus, 580 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, Fritos, 7oz diet sprite, 300 cal
Third time this week with diet sprite. Third time it tastes funny, like sweet cleaning fluid.

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BIKE CREDIT: 1000
FRIDAY COUNT: 2065
Had a nice 45 mile ride out to the Rockaways and into Queens, stopping early for lunch at Subway. Tried to power through to home, but 10 miles out from home, felt a serious bonk coming on. Was prepared for the circumstance -- calorie dense with a shot o' sugar, a mix of almond butter and nutella with cheesits to dip did the trick. Kinda shocking how little 600 cal is, but it cleared my head and got me home safely.

AM SNACK: 8:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:30am, Fage whole yogurt with almonds, vanilla and agave, 300 cal

PM SNACK: noon, momma salad, 100 cal

BIKE LUNCH: 1:45pm, 6" veggie burger on whole wheat, potato chips, 20oz diet coke, 760 cal

BIKE SNACK: 4:45pm, cheezits with almond butter & nutella, 600 cal

DINNER: 7pm, chicken breast, black beans, roasted broccoli, brown rice with wild rice and wheat kernals mixed in, poppa salad with miso tahini, 1005 cal
Ate a reasonble amount of brown rice, surprised this meal passed 1000 cal. If I hadn't ridden, I'd have skipped the rice and the meal would have been fine in the mid-600s. Still, nice to have rice with my beans!

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal

Punt

Ugg. I got nuthin'. Unfortunately, Passover, my birthday, house guests, knish-work AND everyone getting sick in my home has conspired me to punt the essay this week and just report the facts, n' nuthin' but the facts. Sorry, my 2 regular readers!

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2067

Another week of good eating over all. Diet sodas are still popping in, here and there, but at a much smaller rate, 7oz every other day rather than 14oz per day.

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MONDAY COUNT: 1910

Lifted weights in the morning, arms felt a bit sore all day. Undercooked the chicken at lunch so just ate the edges and tossed the rest. Had sugar cravings in the evening with low-grade hunger pangs, indulged in a diet coke and that pretty much did the trick.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 11am, Fage whole yogurt with agave, vanilla and almonds, 310 cal

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, small piece of sauteed chicken breast, madras lentils, steamed string beans, water, 540 cal

PM SNACK: 5pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger juice, 130 cal

PM SNACK: 8:15pm, poppa salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 8:45pm, stir fry with shirataki noodles, broccoli, acorn squash and shrimp, poppa salad, 430 cal
Different approach to stir fry, both much better and worse. On one hand, simplified the saucing -- 1 tablespoon of peanut oil with three cloves of crushed garlic to start, 2 tbsp of fermented black bean sauce, and towards the end finished it with some hot sirracha. Tasted right, didn't need to be muddied with soy or mirin. On the other hand, boiled broc for 2 minutes then shocked it, should have done 1 minute. In addition, I had roasted acorn squash on hand so I cubed it and tossed it in. Tasted good, nice sweetness, but under the sauce and the heat, turned mushy and kinda stringy. Should have pureed it and used it as a sauce element.

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, Fritos, 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, 7oz diet coke, 0 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2360

Went to the top of the budget with an extra evening snack. Slightly sugar-craving on the first one, so indulged in a diet soda again, but the second one was just plain ol' hunger. As I don't want to punish myself, I met the hunger within reason. I could have eaten 3 more bowls of cheesy poofs, but it was enough to get me through.

Forearms really sore from lifting on Monday, almost too much. May delay next lift to recover, or skip those muscles.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal, 250 cal


PM SNACK: 12:45pm, beef jerky, 160 cal


LUNCH: 3pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, pickle, momma salad, water, 640 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, scallops, acorn squash, roasted brussel sprouts, poppa salad, 710 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, Fritos, 7oz diet coke, 300 cal


EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 1950

Some minor sugar cravings in the evening, but didn't need to resort to snacks or diet soda.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, Fage whole yogurt with agave, vanilla and almonds, 310 cal

AM SNACK: 11:30am, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 12:45pm, grilled pork tender loin, roasted asparagus, water, 500 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger juice, 140 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, pork tenderloin on whole wheat toast with jus, health salad, butternut squash soup, poppa salad, 600 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2110

Busy day cooking knishes on top of laundry, child care, bike repair, doing taxes, etc. Lunch was totally done in the microwave, which is something I instinctually avoid, but I needed something fast and easy - I even contemplated going out for fast food, but resisted the urge.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 11:30am, rice crispies and whole milk, 300 cal

PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, chicken sausage, steamed string beans, madras lentils, 7oz diet coke, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, beef jerky, 160 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, grilled curry chicken breast, roasted broccoli & leek, poppa salad, 650 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2005

I started my free-eating around 10pm, but promised to stop my free eating in 24 hours, so I have not counted it here. Hopefully with bringing eating down on Sunday, this won't effect the bottom line. We'll find out next week!

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 11am, fruit smoothie, 375 cal

PM SNACK: 12:45pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, chicken meat balls, health salad, butternut squash soup, kimchi, 465

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, apple/carrot/celery/beet/kale/ginger juice, 150 cal

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, poppa salad, 150 cal

DINNER: 7:45pm, scallops, roasted brussel sprouts, 7oz diet coke, 465 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal

Oh no, another smug blog post about veganism!

When we universally turn vegan, the vegetable overlords will rule us all and cows will quiver.

I am not, nor will I ever be, a vegan. I was vegetarian for about 8 years in my 20s, and within that period, "vegan" for about 3 years, in quotations as there was a notable exception for dessert. I did it solely for health, as arguments about the value of animal life being equal to human life has never held any water with me. I've been close friends with a wonderful woman since those days who is many things, one of which is a relatively strict vegan in terms of both diet and lifestyle. To her credit, the HVS has never been anything other than a great friend despite our obvious differences in these matter.

So I find myself in a strange position all these years later, reconsidering my position in being rather dismissive on the health claims of the strictly vegan diet. Why the huggy-animal introspection all of a sudden? Blame it on Netflix; I've been working my way through all the food documentaries, taking away a little thing there, a few notes there, and then there is Forks Over Knives.

This is a bit of a talky, dry documentary that does the standard look at the horrible state the modern American diet.  The state of the majority of the population is dire, yes, but the film answers it with a vegan diet whose main staple is vegetables as a solution. I would have found my alarm bells going off and my cynicism shutting it down if there was even a whiff of animal rights content, spiritual mumbo jumbo or even a push on the ecological or economic angles. My only selfish interest in really changing my diet is either to taste better or make me healthier. It's all about science and research, not agendas and appeals to emotion.

They approach the protein controversy head on -- we just don't need that much, and what we do need can easily be consumed in many, many things, not just bland blocks of tofu or weird soy extracts. When you think about  basic human physiology, needing protein to build muscle is ridiculous. Everything we eat to live becomes one thing and one thing only (after poo n' pee): glucose, aka sugar, to energize the body or store away in fat to energize it later. If you want to build muscles, stress those muscles beyond what is comfortable then eat enough calories to recover. Other than those few essential amino acids that we can't get any where else, then what is protein good for? Well, it takes more effort to break down into sugar, there fore having a lower glycemic reaction, hence all those high-protein miracle diets. Unfortunately, other than losing weight, high-protein diets have some other less fortunate results.

The centerpiece of the science is a study of areas in China, where over the last 30 years some provinces have retained their traditional vegetable based diets, while others have rapidly transformed their food supplies into Western style gluts of burgers n' fries. The results in terms of incidents of cancers, obesity and other health-related outcomes are kinda....nerve-rattling.

I'm not going vegan, it's too restrictive and extreme, and potentially kinda meaningless health wise: you can be a vegan by consuming mass quantities of refined flour, sugar, caffeine, and other industrial junk. Hey, potato chips were a staple when I was a collegiate vegan, mmmmmm.  However, nudging the needle a little bit further from the center seems not only wise, but necessary. Outside of butter, dairy has pretty much dropped out of my diet during the week, as it's just too calorie-laden without much power in terms of feeling full (in a good way, not in a cheese-stomach way.) Tilting towards veganism to me mean VEGanism I've been increasing my vegetable consumption head-on, unadorned and unpretentiously. My rotation has been:

• Steamed string beans
• Roasted Asparagus
• Roasted Brussel Sprouts
• Roasted Broccoli
• Poppa salad daily
• Momma salad daily

Simple, direct, boring. After these few months, it's a good start, but now if I'm going to go farther and increase not just mass but calories from vegetables and throttle back animal proteins, I need to add more to my rotation.

After watching the film, I sat down on a Saturday morning and went through four vegan and vegetarian cook books, stickying recipes and concepts that appealed. I avoided potato, grain and sweets-based things. The take away:

• Stir frys are an opportunity
• Grilled leeks!
• Artichokes could be a regular
• Mushrooms, holy crap, why am I not going crazy with these?
• Mushroom-nut loaf, interesting concept the
• Alternate salad dressings to enliven salads
• Why am I dropping the ball on spinach? Baby bok choy sounds fun.

My wife is trying to reboot her diet. We've been at loggerheads about meat consumption for years, and now perhaps is a good time for each other to meet halfway. I'll cut back on the meat and increase variety of interesting vegetarian and near-vegan dishes (go butter!), and she needs to get straight and try some properly cooked lean pork loin and broiled fish.

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"Cheese"cake for the HVS

There is a subplot in the Forks Over Knives film involving a former triathlete who is now a fire fighter, and how he brings a vegetable-based vegan diet to his fellow fire fighters and they all thrive. The HVS thinks he's dreeeeamy, and others seem to agree, as he spun off his own book and even film. I watched it, and found his recipes kinda gross and clunky, and his charm stiff and cloying. The HVS needs to come over to FBIWC HQ and get a REAL vegan meal - me and my toddler will even dress up as fire fighters!

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2135

A good eating week again, marked by increased vegetable consumption, constrained animal protein intake and easily staying below my official calorie budget of 2200-2350. I think soon I may have to change that depending on the next weigh in, maybe I should consult with the nutritionist just to get some perspective before I make a lower budget official.

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MONDAY COUNT: 2035

My stir fries are getting better, but I'm handicapped because I'm not using oyster sauce or hoisen. When I read the labels, they were concentrated forms of sugar. Maybe I should experiment with small amounts of sugar in them to see how it affects palatability? Asian cooking is all about balance, and my bean paste/soy/mirin/ fish sauce combo just isn't quite cutting it.

AM SNACK: 8:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 11am, organic Os with whole milk, 300 cal

PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:45pm, teryaki chicken meatballs, string beans, madras lentils, pickle, water, 600 cal

PM SNACK: 5:45pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger juice, 170 cal

PM SNACK: 8pm, poppa salad with miso tahini dressing, 100 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, stir fry with shrimp, broccoli, mushroom and shirataki noodles in bean sauce, 465 cal
Really filling, a lot of food, surprised how low cal it was, though this time I did skip finishing with a tbsp of sesame oil (120 cal), as it seemed unnecessary.

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, Frito's, 300 cal

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TUESDAY COUNT: 2110

Good eating days are getting easier and easier to come by. Staying between 2000-2200 seems just as satisfying as 2200-2350. Hmmmm.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, brown sugar, vanilla and cinnamon, 250 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, almond butter and jelly on whole wheat, momma salad, 700 cal

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, beef jerky, 180 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, grilled chicken breast, sofrito black beans, butternut squash soup, poppa salad with homemade Italian dressing, 7oz diet coke, 7oz diet sprite, 680 cal
Took a pause on the diet soda ban -- needed something rewarding after a hard time pushing a cargo bike full of Costco goods about 7 miles with a flat tire. What ever you can say, the diet soda was appreciated and not quaffed thoughtlessly.

EVENING SNACK: 9:15pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 2020

Good eating day. Yogurt, even at my reduced serving, is very satisfying.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:45am, Fage whole yogurt with almonds, vanilla and agave, 310 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, chicken sausage, health salad, roasted asparagus, roasted leek, momma salad, water, 490 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger juice, 150 cal

DINNER: 8:30pm, mahi mahi, broccoli, quinoa, poppa salad, 770 cal
Cut the quinoa in half, as I did the math as I was cooking. The plate had a small piece of fish, a tiny lump of grain and a huge portion of broc filling half the plate. Roasted it a little too long, was nice and crunchy with slightly charred edges, hmmm, this might be the way to do it in the future.

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, Fritos, 300 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2190

Spent the morning making a vegetable lasagna with my cousin, who has been spending the week from us. She's been eating what I eat when she's been around, but there needed to be a special meal, as she splits tomorrow. Baked pasta and brownies says love, y'know?

Calories for the meal was estimated, but I went to bed hungrier than usual, and used a diet soda to blunt it. I almost had a bowl of Fritos, but didn't want to blow a hole in the budget, and re-estimating my dinner calories downwards to accommodate it felt dishonest and would make this whole thing less worth while.

AM SNACK: 7:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, fruit smoothie, 375cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, health salad, pickle, baby carrots, 685 cal

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, beef jerky, 180 cal

DINNER: 5:45pm, vegetable lasagna, small piece of fudge brownie, 7oz diet coke, +/- 800 cal
Didn't do a calorie count on this dish, as there were lots of moving parts and I was talking it through while cooking with the cousin. It was full o' vegetables, and in the end I ate about half of what everyone else ate. Brownie, I actually only ate 1/4 of what I used to consider a portion, and blunted the sugar-cravings caused by it with a diet soda.

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, poppa salad, 150 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, 7oz diet sprite, 0 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2320

A good eating day, but again, around 10:30, broke down and are some brownies, chocolate chips with almonds, undoubtedly primed by the social ice cream cone I had with the HVS. Definitely more controlled than last week, less guilt.

AM SNACK: 8:30am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, brown sugar, vanilla and cinnamon, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, poppa salad with miso tahini dressing, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, teriyaki pineapple chicken meatballs with roasted brussels, roasted leeks, Indian lentils, water, 750 cal

PM SNACK: 4pm, celery/carrot/beet/kale juice, 60 cal
Apples were eaten by the family, but I had celery on hand from yesterday's lasagne making. I must say, this tasted....disgusting. And that is after being diluted with 50% water.

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, baby carrots, 60 cal

SNICKLEDINNER: 8:15pm, falafel & salad & pickles, +/- 500 cal

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, vegan ice cream cone, +/-300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, fritos, 7oz diet sprite, 300 cal

Diet Soda is fraudulent.

Diet soda is a fraud in many cases. It gives a false sense of virtue: 

If I swap out my sugared soda with this diet soda, then it's OK to eat this double-double cheese burger n' fries! 

You save a few hundred calories, and then you add on a thousand or so because you've given yourself permission to eat something that's not, say, a lean piece of chicken and some steamed string beans. I've known this, but I have never seen it brought to it's logical conclusion until an economist took a rational approach to losing weight. It all comes down to two choices, change or die (i.e. remain fat and unhealthy.) Those are the only two choices, in reality. Of course, the money is to be made in offering a third choice.

(A well respected economist) wanted to think of (smoking) as a battle with two choices — quit or die of cancer — but his nicotine-addled brain kept coming up with a third option: sneak one more cigarette and quit later. Of course, later never came. “I was quitting for 20 years,” he said.

Trying but not succeeding to lose weight is exactly the same thing. Quit all the food that is horrible for you.....after this one cheeseburger. I'll start eating right.... after I read that book, or join that gym, or start that program. Products that offer "magical solutions", or third options, are where the profit is. 

Weight Watchers and gyms make people sign up for recurring billing -- your credit card gets zapped every month whether you attend the meetings or go work out. And while it's possible to resign from these things, many people do not....because they'd have to admit failure. It's so much more comforting to take the 3rd option: "oh, I'll start working out next month" or "I'll hop back on the meetings when I'm less busy in a few weeks". In short, it's a fraud because gyms, weight watchers and diet soda's primary interest is NOT to make you lose weight and lose you as a customer. They are only interested in keeping you paying.

After switching to all diet soda, I feel so much better....that I can eat twice the kebobs and burgers!

I read this article while I was eating lunch on Tuesday: almond butter on whole wheat, some cabbage slaw, a bag of carrots and red peppers...and a 7oz can of diet coke. I've been taking advantage of the small cans the beverage industry has been forced into making due to political moves to limit the size of beverages. I've been able to restrict my consumption to 14oz daily (half caffeinated), down form 24-36 before I really started paying attention. Two 8 packs of the cans is $10 a week or so. 

Until recently, I considered it a relatively harmless indulgence thats a hold-over from my old way of eating. Until a month ago or so, I was hitting up McDonalds once a week. First I was doing quarter pounder meals with fries and a medium coke, then swapped out to double quarter pounders with a small diet cola -- less carbs, less cal, still satisfying. But I stopped, not because I had to struggle to get out from under or boo-hoo McDonalds is soooo evil, but because....I just didn't want it that much, it doesn't make me feel as full or as good as my home cooking.

So as I'm sitting at lunch, I realized I had eaten more than half my meal and had not cracked the diet coke open yet. I just...didn't want it that much. As I'm reading, the author speaks of cheesy "miracle" products, pills that promise the world, things that assure you it'll be "easy" and promoted by TV gurus, and I then read this:

There is another class of products, I noticed, that have a related business model. They were not preying on my impulses to find a third way, but they still made money whether I lost weight or not. All those Slim-Fast shakes, Atkins bars and meal replacements may help some people lose weight, but much of the companies’ revenue comes from people who try and fail continuously or people who only want to create the illusion they are dieting. My desk was filled with books written by experts from the Mayo Clinic and Harvard. They contained useful information, but, for me, they acted like a miracle totem. I felt good about myself for buying them, but I never lost a pound.

Practicing for college life.

Diet Coke makes money for the Coke corporation whether I lost weight or not, as long as I stayed on the treadmill. Diet Coke has been a crutch but it should be a stepping stone, a detox from full sugar soda. Like sugar, we do not need it survive, it is a man made thing. The science is not conclusive - even though there are no calories to make you fat, the reaction to the sweetness may be enough to give you metabolic syndrome. Not to mention cancer and the artificial sweeteners. I do believe diet sodas are relatively better for a person than full-sugar soda, but swapping out diet soda for water is infinitely better than that, too.

I don't want to be limping around in semi-fatass-land for the rest of my life. I hope this is a one way trip to thin fitness, and old habits do not have to be ripped out of my hands with lots of trauma and grief, but I do have to let go. Starting today (I'm writing this on Wednesday), I'm going to attempt to restrict all diet soda consumption to the wild n' woolly weekends, right where my McDonald's consumption lies. No, it's not total elimination, but going from 7 days a week to 2 days a week should be a good start. The $10 I give to the $21 billion diet soda industry every week will be much better spent on vegetables.

POSTSCRIPT:

Friday morning, I made a cake for some one's birthday and a small smidgen of batter got in my mouth. In the evening, after rewarding my daughter with 5 M&Ms (more on that below), I popped a few strays in my mouth rather than going back to the kitchen to put them away. Later in the evening, I was making frosting for the cake and I tasted it for texture and quality. Once the cake was done and everything was cleaned up, I had an overwhelming craving for sugar, my pump undoubtedly primed by the three separate tastes through the day. My first reaction was to go for a diet soda to get the sweetness without the calories...but decided not to as I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite. I broke down and helped myself to a bowl of &Ms around 11pm, then a large dish of homemade ice cream. Oof. I should have just had the damn diet soda. The goal is to eliminate the stuff, but until I am free of such strong cravings and compulsions to eat sweet, I must embrace the crutches and lesser-evil tools available to me. 

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My three and half year old daughter reached a major milestone in her bathroom habits ('nuff said), and we've been bribing her with the promise of gifts for a while now. I foolishly did not have any gifts on hand, so I asked her what she would like moments after her big success. The first thing out of her mouth: M&Ms. I think she had her first and only taste for them around Valentine's Day, when a parent supplied her and friends with pink ones. Though against my better judgement, it was more important to make the moment special and we packed up the baby and trudged around the corner to the drug store to get her a packet of M&Ms. She went for the 2-serving "jumbo" packet, though I only allowed her the slender single serving - if they had those tiny mini Halloween sizes, I probably would have gone for one or two of those.

She was over the moon, and watched a movie while working her way through the whole pack. I asked for one, and she happily gave it, but when she saw I wasn't eating it, she shouted, "EAT IT!" I told her I was saving it for later, because if I didn't eat it now, I could have M&Ms for tomorrow, not just today. So she took it back and ate it.

It took her 30 minutes or so to get through the whole pack, and when she was done, she asked for water. An hour later, around dinner time, she asked for more M&Ms. She literally said, without prompting, that "those were the best M&Ms in the world, and they make me want more and more!" Oy, sugar is such a nasty thing.

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WEEKLY AVERAGE: 2181

Despite blowing out early on Friday night, kept the eating tights and vegetable heavy. Got my first bike ride of the season in on Tuesday, slow and short, but hopefully the beginning of a powerful 7 months...

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MONDAY COUNT: 2135

Had a big eating weekend, but cut into my Sunday with a momma salad to just slow down the gobbling. Today, made 2nd Ave Deli's "health salad", basically shredded cabbage with vinegar, oil and sugar. I reduced the sugar in half, see how that goes. Had some serious sugar cravings after the salsa and chips in the evening, but they went away after 15 minutes or so. I imagine if I ate something tiny but sweet, that would have pushed me over the edge.

AM SNACK: 8:15am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 11am, Fage whole yogurt with almonds, agave and vanilla, 300 cal

Cut yogurt and agave in half, retained 28g of almonds, where the majority of calories come from, anyway. Still satisfying, as there is a lot of protein n' fat goin' on.

PM SNACK: 1pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 2pm, chicken meatballs, quinoa, steamed string beans, 7oz diet coke, 600cal

Adjusted my portions. Doubled string beans, reduced meatballs by 1/3. Kept grain to their small suggested serving (1/4 cup dry, a scant cup cooked) but jazzed it up with a tbsp o' butter.

PM SNACK: 5:45pm, apple/carrot/kale/beet/ginger juice, 150cal

DINNER: 8:45pm, stirfry with shrimp, mushrooms, brocolli, shirataki noodles, poppa salad,  7oz diet sprite, 685cal

Mixed it up a bit: added TWO veg instead of one, boiled & shocked brocolli along with sliced shitake mushrooms. Swapped out soy sauce for fermented black bean paste to go with my sauce of mirin wine, fish sauce and sesame oil -- came out much rounder and less salty. Was looking at other elements to through in (Hoisen, Oyster, Ponzu, etc) and they all seemed to be super loaded with sugar. The bean paste also has some added sugar, but it's relatively far down the list, not the 1st or second ingredient like some of the other sauces.

EVENING SNACK: 9:15pm, salsa and chips, 300cal

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BIKE CREDIT: 600 cal

TUESDAY COUNT: 2290

Did a loop around Manhattan on the road bike in the afternoon/early evening, started slow but picked up steam towards the end, felt good, haven't ridden properly since October. Making me think how I'm going to approach nutrition on the bike this season...

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, brown sugar, vanilla & salt, 250 cal

Rather than half the batch, I took care to measure out the batch into three.

LUNCH: 12:45pm, almond butter & grape jelly on whole wheat, momma salad, health salad, 7oz diet coke, 710 cal

BIKE SNACK: 5:45pm, beef jerky, cheezits, 370 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, Stouffers French Bread pizzas, poppa salad, 960 cal

When I got home, just did not feel like cooking, so I guess this is the equivalent of fast food at home. Hmmmm. Fast food at home.

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, Fritos, 300 cal

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, cheesy poofs, 300 cal

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WEDNESDAY COUNT: 1960

Good eating day. Seems when I stick hardcore to lean protein/veg/legume combo, it's very filling and easier to stay below budget.

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:45am, fruit smoothie, 375 cal

LUNCH: 1pm, mahi mahi, channa masala, roasted asparagus, momma salad, water, 585 cal

Did 2 pieces of fish, only ate one - surprised how caloric the mahi is. Will do one piece next time. Hopefully it won't go too funky in the fridge.

PM SNACK: 4pm, apple/carrot/beet/kale/ginger juice, 130 cal

DINNER: 8:15pm, mahi mahi, sofrito black beans, steamed string beans, poppa salad with miso tahini dressing, kimchi, 570 cal

I usually don't eat the same protein 2x in a row, but since I started with a new fish, I made too much and B wasn't going to eat it, so I thought it was economical to just eat it now. Miso dressing was good, but needs a kick, perhaps lemon and garlic in the next batch. Still, half the calories of my Italian dressing, so that ain't bad. Got a jar of Mother's kimchi, full strength with anchovies & beef broth in it, really good n' strong and very low cal. This was a surprisingly large amount of food -- 75 cal of steamed string beans near half a dinner plate, and while I intended to serve myself 250g of beans (200 cal), as I'm dishing it out I saw it was going to be too much so I stopped at 200g. Crazy, I was aiming for 800 cal and came in more than 25% under while eating a tasty, big-ass meal. Did miss the diet sprite, think I may have to bust out the carbonator to get in some bubbles.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, fritos, 300 cal

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THURSDAY COUNT: 2005

Felt a bit down in the dumps this morning, so after frittering away a little time, decided to wallow after lifting. Upped the "dosage" to the next increment of weight and number of push ups, sit ups and pull up hangs and lowers. Indeed felt better after.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, steel cut oatmeal with butter, brown sugar, vanilla & salt, 250 cal

PM SNACK: 12:15pm, momma salad, 100 cal

LUNCH: 1:30pm, grilled chicken, black beans, broccoli, 640 cal

Again, made 2x two much chicken. When I did the count before eating, it was over 900. Looks like chicken fo' dinnah!

PM SNACK: 4pm, beef jerky, 160 cal

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, poppa salad, 100 cal

DINNER: 7:15pm, grilled chicken, lentils, health salad pickle,  525 cal

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, fritos & a piece of brown rice avocado sushi, +/-330 cal

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FRIDAY COUNT: 2515

No time to get home to juice before dinner, which might of helped with the sugar cravings that knocked me off the wagon around 11pm with M&Ms and ice cream. I rationalized it by counting it towards my Saturday free-day, though I suspect juicing and a splurge on a diet soda might have rerouted it.

AM SNACK: 8am, iced green tea, 0 cal

BREAKFAST: 10am, whole Fage with agave, vanilla and almonds, 310 cal

LUNCH: 1:15pm, chicken sausage, sauteed spinach, black beans, pickle, water, 630 cal

Tried to grill some leeks and failed, wrong temp, wrong cut, not enough lubricant. 

PM SNACK: 6pm, poppa salad with miso tahini dressing, 100 cal

DINNER: 6:30pm, mahi mahi, brussel sprouts & mushrooms, whole wheat cous cous, butternut squash soup, poppa salad, water,875 cal

Sabbath dinner with the whole family, sitting down n' talking. Diet Sprite really calling to me when I was ready to sit down, urg. Should of probably skipped the cous cous, as I felt really full after eating everything.

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, cheesy poofs, 300

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, Fritos, 300

Trying to squash the sugar ravings rising up in me...

The slow downward spiral continues

218.2-->208.8--->207.2
Unfortunately, Blogger decided to delete my original post moments before posting, so here are some thoughts summarized, a story from the weekend and a sad lack of the detailed day-to-day eating I know all 3 of my readers wait for with baited breathe.

Yes, I lost a pound and a half, a good reemergence of the slow, steady decline in weight since last summer. The January spike was an aberration and a reminder to keep mindful, not something more sinister. Thoughts on how to proceed:

• Reduce two days of unrestricted gorging on anything and everything to one day.
• Start making the 2nd day of unrecorded free-eating about how I started: shove out the bad stuff by eating filling vegetables.
• I gotta expand my vegetable palate. If I'm going to maintain and increase my veg consumption, I need to add to the broccoli/string bean/brussels/asparagus quartet and the momma/poppa salad two-step.
• Keep trying for one. Damn. Pull up.

I'm a bit weirded out by my body image: I look in the mirror and I look the same, but the comments and compliments come in on a daily basis now. It's strange that my body and appearance is a regular topic of conversation. I'm such a girl, if a girl can be a middle-aged dude. When my appearance is commented on, my standard replies are:

• What, I didn't look good before?
• Got my speedball formula just right. More coke, less heroine.
• Letting my wife do the cooking.
• -high pitch giggle- -hide face in hands-

This past weekend I was out with my three year old daughter on the cargo bike. We attended her dance class, then hauled off to Costco in LIC for a delightfully unhealthy lunch at their food court and then loaded up the bike with a hundred pounds or so of supplies. As I was prepping myself for the ride home, as I was slipping on my gloves I noticed my wedding band was not on my finger.

It has been a little loose for a month or so now, and only seems to be getting looser. I checked my gloves, checked the bike. It was cold out and I was handling bags of frozen things, and I never noticed the ring slip off. After muttering a few words I hope my daughter didn't hear, I resigned myself to it missing and road home, making plans of how to tell my wife and a plan to melt down my parent's bands in a few years when my weight is stable and it'll be our 10th anniversary. My wife took it quite well, except that she insisted I get some sort of place holder ring so as to prevent all the ladies from gettin' on this. I contacted Costco and the dance studio to offer a reward for a return of the gold ring, but did not have much hope.

A couple of days later, I'm cleaning out and resetting my backpack for the week and there it was at the bottom, along with chest crumbs and empty plastic sandwich bags. Dumb luck, I guess. I won't be wearing the ring until I bring it somewhere to have some bumper added, and in a few years I'll either resize it or melt it down with some other stuff to make a new ring. Regardless, I'm still very married, and will be flashin' my single piece of bling any day now.